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P. So what did they say at the Bilderburg party?
V. They are happy with the results, proceed with the plan, I have new orders for you here.
I don't think it was snowing? Why?
Drone on the left, softly "My necktie is bluer.."
Drone on the right, loudly "Bring me the head of Bernanke on a silver platter, and a bowl of fat on the side."
SfX - whistling of darts through the air
Both drones drop to the floor with tranquilizer darts sticking out of their necks.
SFX -rustling of curtains
Medium shot as curtain is pulled back by a man wearing south american rain forest attire, a necklace of bones, a bare chest full of gray hair and a grass skirt, holding a blow gun in one hand and grinning maniacly.
Close up, head shot and the identity of the man in the grass skirt is revealed as we see his painted face close up and realize it is ben bernanke.
Fade to black
end scene...
G-Pap: Hey, Herman, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.
vR: Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive shares of SLV.
HEY G-PAP, YOU WANNA MAKE FOURTEEN DOLLARS THE HARD WAY?
If I weren't so vain I would nominate this (the classic Dangerfield zinger referenced above ) the winner, bitchez (solidarity)! It's da mot juste.
+ $.50
five bucks says he eats it.
Man, that Geithner will eat anything!
GP: I wanna hamburger, no a cheeseburger. I wanna hot dog...
DV: You'll get nothing and like it!
...double ratfarts!
X2
gunga gulunga...no, gunga, gunga laguna.
Which is nice.
+1
"There is a tunnel, right?"
P: My ass is sore.
V: You'll get used to it.
.....we're goin' with Waddel & Reid.....they can make shit happen!
You don't get it......it's not you, you're perfect - its me....
Who we blamin' again?....Bush?, yeah - that'll work...
Well sure it hurts - its supposed to!
"Yes, George, you can swallow now."
Squeely Fromm, Girl Reporter
Squeely Fromm?
I'd be interested in how you got that nick.
Ha ha!
Well, I got it from Lloyd that Geithner squeals...Be Gentle.........
Herman Van Rompuy: That's right. I'm holding her pictures right here right now. Did you seriously think she did all those things because she liked you?
George Papandreou: Now wait a d*** minute! I never said I wouldn't go along with this...
And for my last one, courtesy of Animal House -
"Its OK, don't blame yourself.....face it, you fucked up.....you trusted us."
"Puppets"
http://cdn.thegloss.com/files/2011/06/standoff.jpg
G Pap: Nearly every citizen of my country is revolting!
HVR: You said it! They stink on ice!
greek: "ok ill suck your dick, but i aint wearing the maids outfit "
P. Look I am sorry those Greek Freedom Fighters on that / those island(s) gave your crack troops such a hard time..
VR. ZEE Germans! Have Returned for what is ours! Already! Bow Down and lick my shoes!
"that goddamn nigel farage is going to be soooo smug"
drone on left "Why did they superglue our hands together?"
Mr SMirky on right, "Why do Muslims cut off the hands of pick pockets?"
Why do they keep using the Russian word troika (triumvirate)? I guess I just think its wierd, but hey it's Europe afterall. I guess I can not complain to much the US has czars. Rediculous.
R. "So, what now?"
G-Pap..." I thought you had a plan?"
R. " Fuck it, just smile, act omnipotent, and let's keep on winging it".
G-Pap..."maybe you should tell them you have an air craft carrier or, no...even better, the entire French army in your pocket...that'll scare the shit out of 'em...you'll really one up Paulson, heh?"
hold on to your wedding vegtables, this going to hurt.
Don't look at ME, I don't have that kind of cash.
+0,75 Trillion €
"Hey: you got that number for Truck Master?" "I'm gonna need that."
Your avatar brings " Joy" to my life.
It get's better every time! THANKS Yen!
Drone on left:
"Thats 175 Euros, I'll never see again. I think we just snorted coffee creamer, asshole!"
Mr. Smirky, on right: "I don't know, but I think either I'm getting tingley, or my shorts are too tight."
"Is that a tranche in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
Whomever said "There is a tunnel, right?" wins -
"Greece? Oh yeah, you got another diaper handy?".......
"Men's Wearhouse, $199.99"
Chill out George. They think we are making complicated decisions.
Van Rumpoy: You can go out the same way you came into the EU, through the back door, and watch out for the dumpster.
P: What I dread most about this photo-op is that it probably will end up on Zero Hedge with people posting comments about us taking it up the ass.
"Is that a EUR/USD long position you're covering with your envelope, or are you you just happy to see me?"
That one was pretty good...
how about: G-PAp: "is that a bailout in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
To the hotel!
"Poppy, nobody is going to shake your hand until you stop picking your nose and eating it."
P: "Did you just fart"
vR: I can't. I have no anus. It's the stench of the BS we just peddled.
PRIZEWINNER!!!
Totally agree!
"So how 'bout Angela? Woodja?"
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWrCf7rAytc
When I said ok I meant tongue.....no means no!
"I just parked my 90m Slijk yacht at Mikrolimano and I have my Falcon Jet at the Athens airport. I can get away in a hurry using the tunnel. I've got a dozen passports on the ready and six Albanian chambermaids with big chahoozas. How about you?"
there's no time to cry, happy, happy!
"Your ass is sublime........"
Wait! What was the price per kilogram of the lube?!?!
Did you really mean what you said?.......me too!
"Thank You for the lovely giant wooden horse, but I'd swear I keep hearing noises like Goldman Sachs bankers whispering inside it."
You have my vote for winner: awesome TheMerryPrankster!
Its truthy. glad you liked it.
on Mon, 06/20/2011 - 20:33
#1387128
"Thank You for the lovely giant wooden horse, but I'd swear I keep hearing noises like Goldman Sachs bankers whispering inside it."
***********************************************************
I will keep reading but right now... you are ahead at the turn..
@TheMerryPrankster
Winner!
The Greeks need the Agora. As the the worst joke in history, the "state" breaks down, civilized humans get on with life:
http://agorism.info/
"Brad Spangler ... Agorism" "The Makers can live without the Takers!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ob2f5arcUI
"Charles "Rad Geek" Johnson ... about Agorism"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO9AtSwjV1s
"you better BTFD tonight before this bitch bounces in the am"
Anything will fit with enough euro lube!.....go ahead, push! - its ok baby....more!, you're so big!
long molotov
"have you jail broke your ipad yet?"
"Yeah! ouch! Me too! I opted out of the body scanner and took the pat down instead. Maybe a little radiation wouldn't have been so bad?! I hope my boyfriend isn't coming over tonight!?"
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez
"PETA give you funds, too?"
"No, HSUS."
Thanks to most of the commentors here tonight for all the big laughs...
a little comic relief from this Greek tragedy.
thank you, thank you, you guys are great....I'll be here all week!
.
Ever eat at Crate-n-Barrel?
They don't serve food there.
No, but I got you over a barrel and....
P:"So a Greek, a German, a Pole, a Spaniard, a black guy, a Catholic and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."
VR:"Just take the fuckin' loan, man!!, no more jokes"
P:"But this one's REALLY funny!"
No vun movz, no vun getz hurt...
Malacca
P:"So a Greek, a German, a Pole, a Spaniard, a black guy, a Catholic and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."
VR:"Just take the fuckin' loan, man!!, no more jokes"
P: "But this one's REALLY funny!"
Pappy sez: "See the guy I'm talking about? In the pink tanktop? Ohhhhhhh yeah. Is he still checking me out? OMGOMGOMG he is sooooo HOT."
Rumpboy thinks: Dang, your standards are low.
P: Ever eat at Crate-n-Barrel?
V: They don't serve food there.
P: No, but I got you over a barrel and soon....
P:"So a Greek, a German, a Pole, a Spaniard, a black guy, a Catholic and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."
VR:"Just take the fuckin' loan, man!!...no more jokes"
P:"But this one's REALLY funny!"
good one
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
obviously, you're not a golfer.
All the dude ever wanted was his rug back.
Pappy sez: "See the guy I'm talking about? In the pink tanktop? Ohhhhhhh yeah. Is he still checking me out? OMGOMGOMG he is sooooo HOT."
Rumpboy thinks: Dang, your standards are low.
G-Pap:(whispering) hey...watch this...i'll try a little misdirection...
(LOUDLY) We have found a solution to the Cyprus Situation. We begin bombing Turkey in 5 minutes!
"Thay thailor, who doesth a girl have to blow around here to get a drink?"
"Obama said if I like my plan I can keep it"
I be the pitcher. You be the catcher.
credit cards?.....yeah, we accept them - but the fees and interest and penalties 'n shit are fuckin' crazy 'ya know!..............
'you hear that the springsteen sax player died?'
'yeah, too bad you weren't born in the usa, you'd fit in well there right about now.'
For the last time, 'ya know I will.
Did you hear?
That hooker in our gyro sandwich last night had HIV.
I'd boost your cause; as I really like where you're going with this thing. But this is all too preposterous. I mean, you think they'd settle for anything less than a certified virgin? Come on...at least try to make it believable.
my peeps are right on that fine, thin line between accepting anything, no matter what, and not accepting anything, no matter what. after thousands of years of democracy, they're almost as bad as the damned banksters!
" Belgium dont even have a government, ungrateful bastards"
Listen....I know a guy who knows a guy.....and he can get whatever you need see, thing is, you just gotta think big - get it?
Hey Rompuy ..... I'm tellin' ya Windex will fix it ...... I saw it in a movie.
"You ever read a GW post?"
"Why?"
I go for the self loathing, the paranoia is a bonus ;-)
GP: Leave the Euro? Ha! And miss the fun? !
vR: This is gonna cost you lots of moussaka
"T.E.I.N?"
"No, T.E.I.H., you dumb Greek!"
George: "We'll give you the Acropolis for 12 billion Euro."
Herman: "Hmmm....I'll have to check with Adolph."
"We're all douching our vaginas later. Care to join?"
"Maybe after I watch Merkle beat off while she listens to Rammstein."
"She lets you watch?"
"She insisted that I must if she were to bailout the rest of Europe."
"Well, anyway, the offer stands. We are meeting at Sarkozy's castle he has rented from the Rotheschildes."
"Oh the Rotheschildes!"
"Yes the Rotheschildes."
"Will they be there?"
"Oh yes."
"I will be there! I never miss a chance to impress the Rotheschildes!"
"Remember to bring lube. If you are lucky, they will take you to their special 'Screw everyone is the ass' room."
"They do like to screw everyone in the ass!"
"Yes, of course, who doesn't."
Rompy's covering his Rollie.
"Now go ahhway or I shall taunt you a second time!!! You silly Greekperson, you!"
There is a cancer on the currency, and it is growing.....
Listen baby - I just gotta do this one little press thingy, then I'm all yours....RAHR!! (insert cat snarl), and this time you can be the lion tamer!
"I bet you wish I was Jerry Brown...you crackhead!"
Mr. Rompuy --- I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today
..... on 2nd thought make that a cheeseburgy
...... make that 2 cheeseburgy
.......OK ........ I actually need 120 million cheeseburgy ...........
--- but no chips .....
..... by the way --- I really like your tie ...........
It just feels so good to come out of the closet and just be me, ya know! I feel fresh!
"Do you think we'll be happy?"
"Thirty sexy days Julian, thirty sexy days."
"Does this news make my ass look big?"
Alright - but I'm not saying "OBEY"........
GPAP- "Are you sure we don't get a reach-around for this next one?"
Nerdy Guy- " zees eez only booty rape for zee popewlation"
I hear Yo-Yo Ma prefers Eyetalian cellos....
van Rompuy (Borg Queen): Human! We used to be exactly like them. Flawed. Weak. Organic. But we evolved to include the synthetic. Now we use both to attain perfection. Your goal should be the same as ours.
Pappy (Lieutenant Commander Data): Believing oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind.
What the hell did you guys put in that white wine?
"You're the Grinch that stole Christmas, aren't you?"
http://klaasopdebeeck.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads//2009/11/Herman-v...
He got the president of the EU to say Papi (whatever) is a good guy and all around fine person. So Greek members should vote him as their continuing leader. Have you noticed he spends more time in Brussels than Greece?
I'm sorry. I cry very easily. At nothing at all.
It's ok, Georgie. Jean-Claude means nothing to me
Uglúk u bagronk sha pushdug Saruman-glob búbhosh skai!
"We're fucked"
We're standing on a trap door over the shark pool, aren't we?
I like this one. Good work...
"Nigerian, huh? I think mine was from East Africa. When she bent over to clean the tub, I worked her like a rented mule"
"Nice. What else is new?"
Mr. Bond. .... Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die
Just once, could you kiss me after you shaft me!
You're my first....I swear. You'll always be special to me.
Well, there was this guy in Iceland....but he said no, so here I am!
G-Pap: Yeah...well....at least Greece has a government...and what exactly does Belgium bring to the table???
VR: Very good waffles.
G-Pap: I was talking about solutions you idiot!!
VR: What you getting upset about G man? Do I look concerned?? Of course not!! All my life I've been the village idiot for the entire continent and look where I am now!! Don't worry!! Smile for the cameras and everything will work itself out. It's a trick I learned from my old friend Georgie Bush.
"Seriously, who farted?"
Does "One world, under the Euro", work for you?
Papsmear - Why Chinese again?
They are the only ones who deliver.
Papsmear - Why do I always need more just a half hour later?
How am I gonna tell my parents?
Thank our policies that this audience is too poor to throw shoes....
"Old man, ye all shoot your shafts at me, as archers at the butts;-Ye must needs practice on me with seer-craft also;-aye, the seer-tribe hath long trafficked in me, and made me their merchandise. Gain your gains, drive your trade, if ye list, in the silver-gold of Sardis and the gold of India; but ye shall not hide that corpse in any grave."
If I find this shit on YouTube bitch - I'd better not!
"Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQU02n358VY
...y'know, I wasn't expecting that, and then...
I get option paralysis when I look at this one:
http://jessescrossroadscafe.blogspot.com/2011/05/caption-this.html
"I couldn't find a briefcase small enough for $10,000"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdQuCx3Cv9Y&feature=related
At an opportune moment, Rompy comments to Pappy that the incredibly evident digestive aftermath of Pap's previous evening's encounter with the boiled octopus salad and numerous retsina chasers proves all-too-true the hoary adage, "silent but deadly."