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"Like A Balloon"

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 05/26/2011 09:05 -0400

Because we all need a laugh after the latest confirmation that the Fed has completely failed at restoring economic growth. Incidentally this anecdote also explains why the S&P doubled in the last two years.

Courtesy of John Lohman

The S&P will have a lot of farting to do if Jon Hilsenrath does not leak QE3 post haste.

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Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:05 | 1312715 Xibalba

sounds like netflix

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:36 | 1312829 jus_lite_reading

Sounds like (enter any IPO since 2007)

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:53 | 1312896 Popo

Sounds like an analogy for ZeroHedge. Lots of readers flooded in for the quality independent research. Now they're hissing out.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:06 | 1312928 Terminus C

The only burping and farting I see here is from the trolls.

Right troll?

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:13 | 1312973 InconvenientCou...

The "hissing", if it isn't just a figment of your imagination, certainly isn't related to the "quality independent research". That aspect is clearly in a league of it's own.

You want to be in a league of your own? Don't play by the rules of someone else's game. Churn can be a good thing.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:16 | 1312983 LowProfile

So you only come here now to complain? WTF?

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:18 | 1312995 I am more equal...

Sounds like what Bernaked did to the banksters... only it was a high pressured money stream. And like all true women they never fart or burb it out - it just goes to their hips. I wonder what else could be shoved up a banksters ass?

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:09 | 1312719 hugovanderbubble

EUR/CHF targeting for 1-1 parity

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:10 | 1312721 Mudflap

That'll be the sign... the Bernanke fart. When it comes it will be massive!

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:09 | 1312739 firstdivision

The Bernak eats Coupons and farts lollars

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:14 | 1312764 BobPaulson

The blast zone around ground zero will flatten everything with a punishing wave of Bernanke Lindens. No financial instrument will be left undiluted.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 11:28 | 1313264 Manthong

Either that, or a Bernanke burst intestines, with crap all over the place in either event.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:07 | 1312723 Jason T

I read that yesterday.. funny as hell.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:10 | 1312724 firstdivision

Is this what happened to Ernesto Cordero Arroyo, just that he's unable to burp or fart (like a seagull)?

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:22 | 1312990 Mec-sick-o

You are confused.

The chubby guy is Agustin Carstens, he is now Governor of Banco de Mexico and runner up for IMF.

Ernesto Cordero Arroyo succeded him as Secretary of Finance..

Fri, 05/27/2011 - 15:35 | 1317925 firstdivision

My bad, you are correct. Thanks!

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:07 | 1312725 Steelpulse

'Balloon', not 'Baloon'!

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:36 | 1312836 Cleanclog

Baffoon? Baboon . . .

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:10 | 1312726 breezer1

he was tbtf.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:10 | 1312732 Mudflap

That'll be the sign... the Bernanke fart. When it comes it will be massive!

edit: oops - slow internet this morning :(

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:13 | 1312742 Jason T

IS that how we have to deflate this stock market bubble? By farting it out?

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:13 | 1312743 Miss Expectations

"I had no choice but to lay there, blowing up like a balloon."

Sadly, like so many, Steven gave up his power to grab the fuckin hose and pull it out of his ass.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:20 | 1312787 SuperRay

+ 10000

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:33 | 1312828 knukles

I had a similar reaction. Not only why'd he not pull it out, but why in God's name did he stuff it up there.

Next DSK excuse; I fell on "it".

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:39 | 1312851 Cognitive Dissonance

But poor Steve is the victim of the air hose here Miss Expectations. And we all know the victim is not responsible for him or herself and most definitely not for removing the air hose from the ass.

We have become a world of professionals victims who beg for manipulation.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:46 | 1312872 GeneMarchbanks

I was sipping coffee when I read the comment above, now I'm cleaning my monitor and keyboard... Thanks a lot... seriously that was quality.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:42 | 1313081 Rusty Shorts

LMFAO !!

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 13:11 | 1313634 Ryman1075

I think of this scene every thime I hear about this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJkYHg8Q08Y

Watch 1:03 - 1:13 Good stuff.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 15:21 | 1314007 jmc8888

Great stuff, the scene from modern problems is pretty funny too. (last part of the scene)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD4ODFj2Kv4

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:10 | 1312744 magpie

If we were medieval, the perfect retribution for Ponzimeisters.

Hope he gets well and belches & farts to Recovery.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:14 | 1312750 gall batter

Full of air. Should run for prez, either party.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:40 | 1312840 Cleanclog

+100

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:14 | 1312755 monopoly

Luv it.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:15 | 1312757 Temporalist

99 red ballons

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14IRDDnEPR4

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:50 | 1312879 UnRealized Reality

+1-I like the original German version better.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:15 | 1312760 rabidbat

QE2 was an epic failure,QE3 is out of question now.All the printed money of the whole universe can't defeat the deflation monster now.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:15 | 1312767 Temporalist

Ahh but don't doubt for a second they won't try.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:31 | 1312821 Hubbs

Oh come on now batman! Haven't you ever heard of the old saying "Third time is a charm?"

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:37 | 1312831 knukles

I thought that was "Third time's a scam."

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 14:32 | 1313889 Creepy Lurker

First time's bad luck, second time's coincidence, third time's enemy action.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:14 | 1312763 AldoHux_IV

Definitely sounds like the SPX & R2000-- very good.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:19 | 1312768 SokPOTUS

This must be a common occurrence. Most truck drivers I've seen already look like they have fallen on an air hose.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:25 | 1312798 Mudflap

Hey! I resemble that remark...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:58 | 1312901 SokPOTUS

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:20 | 1312771 scratch_and_sniff

classic slapstick...way too funny, the thought of helpless inflating people always cracks me up.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:25 | 1312797 bonddude

Was that a scene from No Country for Old Men ?

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:21 | 1312774 Jim Lahey

Many a market & man getting blown these dayz. Strange dayz indeed..

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:24 | 1312789 Cursive

I believe he "fell" onto the hose about as much as I believe Blankfiend is doing God's work. ER patients in Dallas have also been heard to claim that a cucumber became lodged in their rectum after they fell down while walking naked in a garden. Also as believable as the Euro being in existence in 5 years.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:41 | 1312848 hedgeless_horseman

The insertion of the toy car into Ryan Dunn's anus was an accident, too. Just like The Bernank is accidentally inflating asset prices.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:42 | 1312864 Mercury

Uh, there appears to be a '71 fastback Mustang parked in your ah...um...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:44 | 1312868 hedgeless_horseman

"Oh my goodness! How did the price of wheat get there?" -Ben

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:19 | 1312996 Miss Expectations

Hard to tell, but I'm going with a Dodge Challenger.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 11:07 | 1313162 tmosley

It didn't go into his anus, it went into his buttock. The air didn't fill his GI tract, but rather flooded into the space between his muscle and fat.

I don't know what kind of long term effect that will have on him, but I would guess he won't be pretty. He already said that his skin (which is no longer attached to the muscle underneath) feels like a piece of meat, CRISPY on one side, tender on the other.

I wouldn't wish such a fate on ANYONE, not even on a central banker.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 11:11 | 1313173 Vagabond

Apmex 2011s down to 16376, about 50-60k gone in the last 24-48 hours.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:22 | 1312793 SuperRay

not the kind of BJ he was hoping for...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:28 | 1312806 buzzsaw99

Leo "The Fart" Bernank is going to pass gas one more time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0_FYrnnbz0&feature=related

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:31 | 1312822 SheepDog-One

Great description of the USA over the last few years, Slipped and got a 100 PSI FED airhose up the ass. Thats about it.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:09 | 1312823 GOSPLAN HERO

Silver SITREP:

Comrades,

At 0300 hours this morning, the Silver Liberation Army (SLA) crossed phase line Blue and attacked well entrenched fiat paper forces in Washington, DC. Objective $38.50 was achieved but not held. The SLA is now conducting a hasty defense and will begin offensive operations againist enemy stong points BEN and TIM in the next few hours.

The SLA's mission: close with and destroy fiat paper currency forces.

All power to the SLA!

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:35 | 1312825 twillerson

Happens all the time...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:39 | 1312846 Mercury

Long ago a family member with significant emergency room experience confirmed that this kind of thing is more common than you might think and that the damage can be shocking. Many of the world's males (surprise, surprise) are apparently unable to resist the temptation to fool around with high pressure air hoses in the workplace.

Falling on your ass while water skiing is no day at the beach either so watch out for that kiddies...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:44 | 1312856 lizzy36

It is amazing to me that most males don't have to be reminded to breathe ;).

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:51 | 1312878 Mercury

I know, I know...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:59 | 1312903 Cognitive Dissonance

That is why the Goddess, in her infinite wisdom, put that part of the male physiology on automatic pilot.........along with the inflatable brain.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 12:27 | 1313488 Problem Is

"It is amazing to me that most males don't have to be reminded to breathe..."

Fucking funny... uh, we do... that is what porn is for...

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:38 | 1312849 bania

It was a million-to-one shot Doc.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:44 | 1312858 Dr. Engali

Yeah I slipped... that's what happened.... really.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:42 | 1312862 GetZeeGold

There was an eposide of Seinfeld on this.

One in a million shot Doc.

So cool it has it's own Wikilink.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fusilli_Jerry

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 09:42 | 1312863 RocketmanBob

Nice anecdote, but there's a difference between what happened to this trucker and what the Fed's doing to us.

The trucker had compressed air blown into his ass; the fed is blowing smoke up our collective asses...

Similar effect via different mechanisms :)

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 14:09 | 1313834 andybev01

...and pulling rosy economic numbers out of theirs.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:00 | 1312915 GFORCE

Linkedin Man!

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:32 | 1313038 ParaZite

I remember reading a Darwin Award years ago, where the Japanese were doing this to get high... and the metal air nozzle ejected forcefully on the pavement... causing a spark, while the man released a huge pocket of methane and blew up... to the applause of the guys at the gas station because they thought that someone was putting on a fireworks display... until meaty chunks started to rain down.

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 12:20 | 1313474 Problem Is

" this anecdote also explains why the S&P doubled in the last two years."

Doubled Priced in What??
Bernanke Buck toilet paper... or in Gold??

Thu, 05/26/2011 - 23:40 | 1315476 Element

100psi in a brake line? ... sounds high ... an average tire will blow out at about 75psi ... so he must have a had a hell of a lot of body fat to separate.

Mon, 05/30/2011 - 20:35 | 1323678 brand shoes

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Tue, 06/14/2011 - 03:21 | 1367073 tongzhanshang

The lack of water means the nuclear fuel is unshielded. Its gamma rays are rising into the sky and bouncing off air molecules

"Like A Balloon"

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