Bipartisan Plan Summary Charts Confirm Key Deficit "Cuts" Come From Imminent Social Security Pillage

Tyler Durden's picture

For those who are about to get cerebral hemorrhage trying to figure out the ensuing math, don't worry: it is all based on Marx to Myth.

Chart 1: Where we are

Chart 2: Marx to Myth appears:

Chart 3: Step 1: Find a chart and photoshop it; Step 2: ..... ; Step 3: Profit!


That's right, the Senate "Bipartisan" committee just admitted that it will be cutting Social Security, purely as a function of the change of the CPI definition and locking in COLA to the deflation in iPads. What? You can't eat or live in an iPad?


Source: A bunch of corrupt fat and very rich assholes


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SparkySC's picture

The Ultimate Knock-Off: A Fake Apple Store

This article originally appeared in the China Real Time Report blog.

Apple may have opened only four stores in two cities in China so far, but unbeknownst to the company, they are already expanding elsewhere in country.

blogger in Kunming posted photos on Wednesday of a local store which, from a distance, looked just like one of the consumer electronics giants’ iconic full-service retail stores. It featred a glass exterior, pale wood display tables, a winding staircase and giant posters displaying the iPad 2 and other Apple products, plus a neatly organized accessories wall.

“This was a total Apple store ripoff—a brilliant one,” the blogger, BirdAbroad, wrote. She called it “the best ripoff store we had ever seen.” Photos show employees in blue shirts and Apple-emblazoned name tags similar to those worn by Apple Store employees in Beijing and Shanghai.

It’s unclear whether the store was opened by an authorized Apple reseller, of which the company has more than 10 in Kunming, or another retailer selling Apple products. But its address was not listed among official resellers on the company’s website and Apple currently only has Apple Stores in prime locations in Beijing and Shanghai in China. It wouldn’t be the first time the company has inspired fakes in China, however, where knock-off iPhones and iPads are on display throughout sprawling electronics markets.

Apple, which is in the midst of a plan to expand its presence in China including negotiations with the nation’s largest mobile operator China Mobile, is set to open two more stores, one each in Shanghai and Hong Kong, in the coming months. It has not announced plans to make Southwestern Kunming its next stop. Growing demand for its products over the past two years have drawn a flood of customers to its existing stores, prompting executives to hunt for bigger spaces to build their next locations.

A spokeswoman for Apple in China declined to comment on the store sightings.

tip e. canoe's picture

no worries, the $600 trillion derivatives market Timmy mentioned yesterday will cover it no problemo.

CrashisOptimistic's picture

Look guys, about 1 trillion in spending was added in 2009.

No one said that would destroy the world.

Now let's take off just 300-400 billion in FY2012 spending.

Don't care about taxes.  Raise them if you want.  Don't care about 10 year imagination.  That's all BS.


The rest is just crap.

r101958's picture

This has what to do with the article?

TruthInSunshine's picture

Both pretty much stake the credible claim that we're f*cked.

I concede the connection is a round about way kind.

hannah's picture

"For those who are about to get cerebral hemorrhage trying to figure out the ensuing math, don't worry: it is all based on Marx to Myth."


is marx, groucho marx....ok now it make sense.

slaughterer's picture

What intern prepared these charts?  I detect a few errors of sound reasoning and elementary math.  

hedgeless_horseman's picture

What intern prepared these charts?

Exactly.  "Excludes Social Security Savings" as a 6 point footnote is so bush league. 

Our senior citizens deserve a higher quality theft...something they can tell their grandchildren about when they move in with them.

MiguelitoRaton's picture

At 6-point font, no seniors can read it...pure genius. I say we should put up the "Mission Accomplished" poster, turn on the teleprompter and get this party started!

Superslam's picture

Please. Interns on Capitol Hill know what they're doing. These charts had to have come directly from a US senator.

Stuart's picture

these are purely political slides, not economic..... The current debt is 100+% of GDP, not 69%.  That's a clear heads up it's all political theatre. 

kridkrid's picture

Good spot here: - to provide your thoughts to the committee.  Not that they'll read them or care, but...

Urban Redneck's picture

IF the current debt (and since the US is a or above the $14T debt ceiling) is only 69% of GDP this year, then their estimate of GDP for all of 2011 must be north of $20T... That would require QE3, QE4, QE5 ... QE14 all to be executed before the end of the 2011 budget year (assuming $600B each).

Or they just eliminated all intergovernmental debt (i.e. erased the trust funds and lock boxes that never really existed anyway).

Stuart's picture

that's exactly what they're doing, conveniently excluding all the intergovernmental debt.    Wonder if Joe sixpack is going to catch on to this... 

TempFlashback's picture

They certainly saved some money by using a 12 year to put this awful presentation together.

bigdumbnugly's picture

gramma would say thank you except she has her mouth full of dog food at the moment.

Whatta's picture

cat food is much more easily digestible, and contains more omega 3's for the health conscious under-bridge dweller.

Moe Howard's picture

Thanks for the nutrition tip.

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Chicken leg quarters are $0.89/lb. around here.

About half the price of cat food.

Unless you mean dry food.

That sounds like it would be hard on the dentures.

earlthepearl's picture

Great comment, just gave me a belly -laugh
fucking great

mr. mirbach's picture

My Korean neighbors are consider real heroes for adopting a new dog from the shelter once a week.  Funny that the shelter never asks what happened to the pet adopted the previous week.

slaughterer's picture

Love the red-white-blue color scheme.  

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

A few months ago I noticed a long line of Chinese people at the Apple Store on 59th St. and 5th avenue. There seemed to be a few "Ring Leaders" with wads of cash going up and down the line. They bought up all the new IPhones etc.. It went on for about 3 weeks. Perhaps that is where the merch ended up.

sethstorm's picture


Would have been amusing if that part of the line was all taken in by the cops, ring leaders and all, before the purchases were done.   Then repeated as long as possible.



SheepDog-One's picture

Charge up those Hover'rounds for the riots old folks!!

buzzsaw99's picture

someone has to pay for the fat banker bonuses and political bribes.

DonnieD's picture

I love the "source".

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Source is funny.  Marx-To-Myth is DAMN funny.

nah's picture

running out of money cuz them damn seniors just decided


we owe them

Franken_Stein's picture


CBO alternative fia(t)sco scenario.


Dr. Engali's picture

Have you confirmed that source?

Ham Wallet's picture

BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!  Love the source, Tyler.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

How is this a surprise. Going after the weakest and most defenseless in society is always the coward's move.

The only reason they aren't going after Medicaid, Food Stamps, and EITC is because those folks are young, able-bodied, and potentially prone to violence.

Consumers of Social Security and Medicare, on the other hand, can be safely ignored.

I'm the last person to defend Social Security and Medicare (they are both disasters) but at the end of the day, we have made a lot of defenseless old people dependent on these programs and we owe it to them to maintain them to some degree for at least 10 years.

Our political leaders are truly a sickening and depraved bunch.

NotApplicable's picture

Well, Buckaroo that's what you get for having the oxymoron known as 'political leaders.'

Rodent Freikorps's picture


I cower in fear of pissing off a few hundred thousand HOA harridans, with all the time in the world to cause hate and discontent.

I predict a hurry-up on forming those death panels.

XenoFrog's picture

As someone who will never receive any Social Security due to my youth, I am quite baffled by the desire to keep the SS ponzi scheme going. We all know it's a scam, why keep going?


It's like forcing Madoff investors to keep putting money in so that the people who got in early can get their full payouts.

r101958's picture

Hmmm, I've been paying into the SS fund for 30 years and haven't received a dime yet. Everybody that paid into it should have the amount returned. No?

duo's picture

they owe me about $200K.  If SS is going away, those who have paid in over a certain amount should be exempt fro witholding.

saulysw's picture

Should? Yes. Will? No.

XenoFrog's picture

The money is gone. It was spent. You got scammed and now you want to scam other people so you get your money back?

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Other people's money. It's all the rage.

XenoFrog's picture

Just further proof that we haven't learned a goddamn thing through all of this.