Birds, Fish... And Now Crabs

Tyler Durden's picture

First it was birds, then fish. Not it's crabs. For those with a keen eye for patterns, this apocalypse "thing" appears to be crawling along the signs of the zodiac. Next up: thousands of dead lions and soon after, virgins. Ergo New York is safe. Joking aside, the reason for this latest mass death is hypothermia. So good of BP to do its best to "adjust" the global climate. Luckily, $10 billion will be more than sufficient to recreate entire ecosystems by the time the full impact of the oil spill is uncovered. 

From the Star:

More than 40,000 Velvet swimming crabs have wound up dead on England beaches. The possible reason? Hypothermia.

The Thanet shoreline is littered with the crabs, along with dead starfish, lobsters, sponges and anemones.

The crabs benefit from warm seas, but when winter hits and snow covers the beaches, they just can’t handle the freezing temperatures, Tony Child, Thanet Coast Project manager, told the Star.

“It is a horrendous crash in the population,” he said, adding similar crab deaths happened in the same place two years and five years ago.

“During the winter . . . they come closer to the shore . . . foraging where the seaweed is,” he said.

“There are more starfish this year that have been casualties. Lobsters have been washed in a bit frozen. Seagulls are doing quite well at the moment.”

The creatures started washing up when snow blasted Europe shortly before Christmas, he said.

h/t Themos Mitsos

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MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Ergo New York is safe.

@#$%^&* classic!!!

Haywood Jablowme's picture

Hell, while we're at it let's chalk one up for dead turtle doves...

Of course, when I'm feeling blue I turn to CNBC because according to their experts, the #11 sign why the job market is improving is.........








11. A mad scramble to hire the homeless guy

you can't make this shit up hahahaha OMFG ROTFL

nuthin' like pumping that "feel good" story out to the clueless sheeple as the world around them crumbles LMFAO

knukles's picture


They're fucking cold blooded!

the mad hatter's picture

birds and sealife. birds eat seafood.

it's the oil spill and corexit. sea life is getting desperate to avoid the toxic waters so they're venturing into freezing waters.

watch jesse ventura's expose:

at around 35 minutes he talks about how the gulf current, which warms european waters, has been stalled by the gulf spill. 

awakened's picture

loop current is for all practical purposes dead
Death of the Gulf Stream Urgent update dec 21,2010
Britain to freeze due to death of the gulf stream dec 10, 2010
Gulf Stream Update-Dr Luigi Zangari's latest report Dec 22,2010

ConfederateH's picture

Freezing crabs?  Must be global warming.  Either that or the eeevil DoD.

firstdivision's picture

...or the dying Gulf Stream.

DocLogo's picture

Or Goldman is shorting entire species of life now. Let me know when squids start washing ashore.

Divided States of America's picture

Has anyone thought that all these animal deaths could be the result of nuclear testing? Preparation of an event of apocalyptic proportions.

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

More likely energy weapons, don't you think?  Specific species, being taken out by specific frequencies?

trx's picture

The Swedish birds show signs of internal bleeding, according to zoologist.

The Italian birds have blue stains, indicating Hypoxia, lack of oxygen (or altitude sickness).

Also the dead fish are said to have been killed because of oxygen shortage.

It's a well documented fact that sea creatures raise to the surface when something is going on deep down below, like earthquakes or volcanic eruptions.


Now - may I point to the following:

Scientists Gather Around Katla, Volcano Giant Close To Eruption

Perhaps its not so myserious after all?

Lord Vader's picture

Dammit I just went long crabs, too.

MachoMan's picture

There's shampoo for that.

flattrader's picture

Correction Doc.

Vampire Squids.

flattrader's picture

demise of thermal haline conveyor due to fresh water melt?

JW n FL's picture
by ConfederateH
on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 13:33


Freezing crabs?  Must be global warming.  Either that or the eeevil DoD.



***** " 

Spring-like weather “owned the podium” at the Winter Olympics, making it the top Canadian weather story of 2010 for Environment Canada’s David Phillips.

A devastating hurricane, a weather bomb, a costly hailstorm and forest fires also made the senior climatologist’s top 10 list.

Phillips pored over 75 to 100 significant weather events that caused economic, social and/or environmental disruption for his 15th annual list.

Competition was stiff, but in the end it was no contest. The weather at the Games posted a first-place finish.

“The whole world was focused on Vancouver and Whistler in February,” said Phillips.

“It clearly captured the essence of the top 10 weather stories,” he said.

The warmest bid city ever for the Winter Games, Vancouver had no snow in the 50 days before the opening ceremonies. The slopes on Cypress Mountain looked better suited for mud wrestling than snowboarding, he said.

“It was one of the balmiest, warmest January-February on record,” said Phillips. " *****


Now I could show you the video... of the rain... in the rockies mountains... in Canada... in February, but you cant fix stupid.


Thermometer-Based Temperature Trends
 (Global and Hemispheric)

The earliest records of temperature measured by thermometers are from western Europe beginning in the late 17th and early 18th centuries. The network of temperature collection stations increased over time and by the early 20th century, records were being collected in almost all regions, except for polar regions where collections began in the 1940s and 1950s.  A set of temperature records from over 7,000 stations around the world has been compiled by the NOAA National Climate Data Center to create the Global Historical Climatology Network - GHCN (GHCN Version 2 data set; Peterson and Vose 1997). About 1,000 of these records extend back into the 19th century.


It aint sin and hell fire warming up the planet you idiot... drill baby drill is!


Now go and kill as many sheepeople as you can and then yourself... do the world a favor.




DonnieD's picture

As a fellow Floridian you should be well aware we've been freezing our tits off for the past 2 winters. But to each his own.

Sudden Debt's picture

Here in Europe, only the woman have tits.


mick_richfield's picture

SD -- don't your arms get tired?


Oh, and ... Fed delenda est.



Sudden Debt's picture

They only move when you look.


Sona si Latine loqueris

DonnieD's picture

Man boobs are near pandemic level here in the states.

TheProphet's picture

We have an obesity problem here, so yeah, unfortunately, alot of the men have tits. And I am talk some real yabbos.

velobabe's picture

what's the difference between nipples and tits, i forget?

Salinger's picture

fear not! once this next cold shot (not as bad as Dec in SFL) is done with (by end of month) it will be back to the good ol' days of sun, fun and surf, though a red tide is overdue

Sofa King's picture

How many temperature recoding stations had man-made sources of heat such as factories and power plants built near them over the course of the years?  The data is skewed and massaged to develop a theory...that's it.  It's warm there but freezing here.  There is no yme or reason to the reality, so just go out and have a beer and let nature run it's course.

AchtungAffen's picture

And you think that fact (heat islands) escaped the scientific community but not you?

Chump's picture

No, it didn't escape the scientific community, and they didn't do a fucking thing about it.  That's the point...

knukles's picture

Right arm, farm out and outta state!

One of my bud's sons is a serious genetic neuroscientist.  No shit. 
And he is strongly of the opinion, via fact based non-judgemental data and analysis, that incidentals such as that mentioned are not only realized but capitalized upon in highly biased manners in order to promulgate desired outcomes.

His considered opinion is that scientisits might be better classified as biased natural philosophers who most frequently manipulate data to provide a predetermined, desired outcome.

Not unlike economists who, when hired by Keynesians finds a large positive multiplier effect attached to governmental spending that exists nowhere else in the realm of serious fact based non-judgmental mathematical analytics. 

Cathartes Aura's picture

most "science" is funded.

follow the money.

merehuman's picture

my heat island is tipping over, couldn't get a bid to stay afloat

downrodeo's picture

Hey bud, depopulation begins with you. Telling others to kill themselves so that you may put your irrational fears to rest is no way to conduct yourself. It makes you look like a douche bag.

Cathartes Aura's picture

The NOAA, a member of the Weather Modification Operations and Research Board, (partnered on that board with the American Meteorological Society and the National Science Foundation) sold its weather reporting functionality to Raytheon, who operates it now under the name Advanced Weather Information Processing System.


The Electronic System Center's Weather Systems Division recently awarded a contract modification worth more than $9 million to Raytheon for Phase II of the Joint Environment Toolkit contract.

JET is the next generation weather system intended to integrate, extend and potentially replace multiple existing Air Force Weather Weapon System components with a single integrated system.


who owns the weather?



DarkAgeAhead's picture

I'd own the weather.  It'd be great.

Geoengineering on the other hand, basically death, just faster.

trx's picture

I have a few weather options and a couple of Carbon quotas - does that count?

TheProphet's picture

Nonsense. Are you going to tell me that going all the way back to any level of organized collection of this data, it was done with calibrated devices to assure accuracy, and done in a uniform way? Hell no. Those readings that are more that 30 or so years old are utterly worthless. It will be 30 or more years before we have enough intelligently-gathered data to even begin making assumptions about global warming. By then, we're as likely to be onto the next ice age.

jmc8888's picture

ROFL another idiot

I love how you write about the Vancouver, and then in YOUR OWN FUCKING QUOTE IT SAYS.....''warmest city ever given olympics".

Guess what kind of weather you get if you gave Phoenix the Winter Olympics....oh it's global warming.  No it's fucking Phx.

In this's fucking Vancouver.

I also love how you treat the authentic nature not to mention structural nature of the data with Global Warming as does Goldman Sachs and financial accounting.

Global Warming was started by the Queen of England, you can look it up.  But actually FIRST, she claimed it was global cooling.

Now they've been testing, global weirding, supposed to be whether it gets hotter or colder, the weather it caused by global warming.

People DO realize that weather, by it's very nature, is extreme right?

Of course not.

Do people realize that 'global warming' is just an ideological position. 

I mean jesus I can say that I live in Phx, and we made it all the way to June without a 100 degree day a couple of years ago.  Maybe that means it's global cooling? ROFL

There are ebb and flows of everything.  There's also lots of way NOAA (Queen of England even though it's American) and other people skew data.

Let's see.

1. Only count rising temperatures

2. Discount lower temperatures (and take them out of the mix going forward)

3. Heat Island affect

4. Computer Models that make the Housing Derivatives look like 2+2=4.

5. Green agenda by the Queen of England, Prince Phillip, and other FASCIST MONETARISTS (where have we seen them lately....everywhere????)

We see all the bullshit around everything.

The Bullshit Republicans

The Bullshit (but less...except Obama) Democrats (Obama's more bullshit)

The Bullshit tea party

The Bullshit green movement

The Bullshit center

Where do all of these people get their ideology from?

Besides Hitler?

Oh yeah, the Queen of England.

So whether you're talking about




Tea Party or Any political side that de jour right now

Green anything including Global Warming



At some point, the true sheeple, who even call other people sheeple, comes out.

I also have this for the fucktards, what do you call the melting and the retreat from the ice age....would that not warming?

So should we be spending resources to keep the planet the same temperature?  Or understand that it varies, and that the best thing man  can do is to adapt to the changes.

Oh we've been told what to think by the same side through all the different 'sides'.

There is only ONE side.

And you ain't on it.

You ain't even close.

Barack isn't on it.  Boehner isn't on it.  The tea party isn't on it.  The centrists aren't on it.


I just love how he thinks it can't rain in februrary somewhere.  Why not? I've seen hail in Phx in the summer.  Hell in september my car got it's side mirror broken by it. 

People just need to understand they don't know shit.  Quit using sophistry to NOT MAKE A CASE.


Too bad left, center, right, other can only use the queen's sophistry in not making a coherent argument.

Global warming is 1 of them.

Keynes vs. Austrian when they're BOTH MONETARY SCHOOLS of thought are another.

There's many ways my fellow Americans have been fooled.  But one thing is a constant, all the major sides are wrong.  Because they all get their info, plans, and ideologies from the same people.

This guy THINKS he is enlightened because he believes in Global Warming, and that we all must shut everything down to control it.  Why?

Because I've been told that, you say. 

So. You're still wrong. 

Well at least you aren't a republican who tried to vote without being sworn in.  But you ain't much brighter.  You aren't AS stupid as the other side, you're just close to being that stupid.

Especially when you use data shown to be very much fudged and open to interpretation.  You simply can't trust the data you cling to.  Too much interference by fucktards, who like cherry picking their beliefs, and drop off only temps that are 'benefitial' to their beliefs.

All those people, doing all that work, and fucking it up entirely.  Sad. What a waste of what seemingly could be half-way bright individuals that could make a difference if the cloak were removed.

Terminus C's picture

1.  Vancouver always has "spring like winters".  I lived there for ten years and the amount of rain you got in the winter was phenomenal.  Cypress mountain is constantly without snow.

2. it was only "spring like" for the first few days and then there was lots of snow.

3. Last year was an El Nino year, if I recall correctly and in El Nino years Vancouver gets hammered with "The Pineapple Express"

4.  Without the Olympics, that years weather in Vancouver would never have made the news.  It was not far off normal.

5.  You think it was warm in Vancouver for the 2010 winter olympics, wait till Russia's on the Black Sea.  Then you will see the climate changers scream bloody murder.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Present company excluded of course. Besides, he was talking about the DoD, not the one and only D. O. D.

sgt_doom's picture

At first I thought this was simply advanced creative advertising for The Season of The Witch movie, but...

On a more serious note, the four-day timeframe of bird/fish/aquatic species events corresponds to delayed increase of solar radiation reaching the Earth, along with that cosmic radiation storm our part of the solar system is now passing through.

I suspect the extreme temperature variations in the water where the fish events occurred, together with the unfortunate bird events, correlate directly with the bathing of the planet in said radiation, filtering through gaps in the ionosphere and atmosphere.

Although normally, I rightly blame Monsanto for most things.

AchtungAffen's picture

You should stop taking that Monsanto (R) high fructose "corn" syrup, as it was not "radiation storms from outer space" that are affecting the northern hemisphere's winter, but warmer climate on the north pole changed wind patterns sending cold towards northern Europe.

Be careful, Monsanto's corn caused autoimmune reactions on rats...

Rusty Shorts's picture

@sgt doom, early this morning I was catching up on the news, a report surfaced that an intense Gamma Ray source had developed in the Crab Nebula and that Earth was in its path, the report disappeared before I could finish reading it. I've tried several times today to confirm this, but there is nothing anywhere on the net.


There is another Neutron Star that has become active recently, and it is producing intense GRB's, again Earth is in the GRB's path, one burst heated the upper atmosphere by 50 degrees Celsius. Link here;

"Cosmic Global Warming

Anomalous X-ray Pulsar, 1E 1547.0-5408, had entered outburst mode

The bursts were among the brightest ever recorded by the ACS in the 6 years since INTEGRAL was launched and varied in length from 50ms to 8 seconds
X-rays by the Swift satellite indicates that the X-ray emission is travelling towards us through dusty regions of our Galaxy causing ring-like halos in the X-ray images (GCN 8848). There are a total of 31 triggered bursts from this source. Two bright and long bursts from the AXP 1E1547.0-5408 that recently reactivated (GCN 8833, 8835, 8837, 8838). In both bursts, pulsations at the neutron star period of 2.1 s are clearly visible. We observe 30 significant signatures out of which 9 were not reported by others and these events mostly took pace in late 21st January, 2009 (UT) before other satellite results were reported. However, the timings of the remaining 21 events match with the satellite observations.

The Earth was so charged from this event it even had a Terrestrial Gamma-Ray Flash

Gamma-ray Burst Monitor (GBM) trigger 255342766 at 08:32:44.38 UT on 03 February 2009, tentatively classified as a GRB, is in fact not due to a GRB. This trigger is due to a Terrestrial Gamma-Ray Flash (TGF)."


the temperature of the stratosphere over the Arctic suddenly shot up by about 50C, an extraordinary event. This sounded alarm bells because it signalled that the winds had done a somersault, blowing from east to west.

The raised temperature was explained by the hugely increased volume of air in the stratosphere.

Although this easterly wind began at the top of the stratosphere, 30 miles high, it worked its way down over the following fortnight into the bottom layer of the Earths atmosphere, the troposphere, where all our weather happen

observation of the signature of ionospheric activities coinciding with SGR/AXP 1E1547.0-5408 bursts"



merehuman's picture

Rusty, folks are unconcerned about their personal survival. I could warn folks on our beach  that a tsunamy was coming and they would watch TV to verify first. Crazy .
Thanks for the link

Cathartes Aura's picture

dammit rusty!  I'd just found your nebula link! AND it has a beautiful picture too!!


velobabe's picture

can't help with the virgin thing. i really just can't look at these pictures. it is so disturbing. what the hell, man needs to be taken out, and shot.