California AG Launches Criminal Inquiry Into Schwarzenegger's Misuse Of Taxpayer Funds To Cover Up Affair

Tyler Durden's picture

And just as Wednesday appeared it would be (mostly) surreal news free. Radar online has just broken that "The Californian Attorney General will conduct what’s being termed an “inquiry” into former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s alleged misuse of tax payer funds to cover up sexual liaisons. In a bombshell exclusive,  has learned the Office of the Attorney General, a branch of the Department of Justice, is conducting a preliminary evaluation into the scope of Schwarzenegger’s double life, which allegedly included using his state-funded security details to cover up women being escorted into his hotel room." That's good news: following the earlier S&P report that massive state debt overhang is not really helping economic growth, the funds saved from not buying hooker hoodies will go straight to the state's already broke educational, infrastructure and every other system.

More from Radar:

Veteran hotel security officer William Taylor said he witnessed the “Governator” using California Highway Patrol (CHP) officers and vehicles to ferry scantily-clad women in-and-out of his suite at the Sacramento Hyatt Regency where he and wife Maria Shriver often stayed.

“It makes me very angry just to think of what was going on at that time,” Taylor, who passed a polygraph test about his claims, told the latest edition of the National Enquirer.

"On three differed occasions after the governor arrived alone at the Hyatt Regency, CHP Dignitary Protection Services arrived in their official vehicles, black Ford Crown Victoria sedans - about one to two hours later with one or two young females.

"They'd hurriedly escort the women through the service entrance on the second floor parking garage to the elevator that went to the governor's private wing... the women would usually stay for two to four hours and either leave through the hotel's main entrance or be driven away by the CHP in the same official vehicles."

The Attorney General's office told "there will be no comment" about the probe, a criminal matter, however multiple department sources have confirmed the decision.

Taylor was head of security at the hotel and is almost certain to be interviewed.

Quick: someone check if the property next to DSK on Franklin street is available for purchase by future ex-dignitaries under house arrest. Although something tells us the (soon to be ex) wife in question will not be doing the buying.

And just because it is so much fun, here, once again, is the Arnold soundboard.

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mayhem_korner's picture

Lemme get this right...

Erik Estrada escorts a platoon of Daisy Dukes to Commando, and the 2030 field of Mr. Olympias is spawned on the backs of Mexifornians?

Ahmeexnal's picture

The Sperminator's big mistake was to mess with the Kennedys.

Guess who's going to be DSK's cellbuddy?

Anybody else believe Conan is about to take a permanent vacation in the Austrian alps?

Hasta la vista baby. No extradition.

??'s picture

first Sara Palin then Arnold, if I wanted Business Insider "headlines" I would visit Business Insider, whatever



DK Delta's picture

Totally off topic, but I think worth reading. It is about how the market for sovereign CDS is total bullshit and basically fake insurance. I wish more people would talk about this. if i can find a more relevant article to post this on later i will, but just wrote it so figured I'd start the conversation now:

Hephasteus's picture

So is FDIC insurance. IT'S called fraud. It's used to make all these risky institutions have the absolute lowest borrowing costs.

DK Delta's picture

Yea, but FDIC is mandated insurance. Banks have to pay into the fund, and it is backed up explicitly by the Federal Reserve. This is totally different than a supposedly private market for insurance against defaults. Besides, its not like you can trade FDIC contracts. CDS is meant as a tool for gambling. 

Tyler Durden's picture

Simplistic analysis. US CDS is priced in Euros and clears on independently funded clearinghouses. While in principle a US EOD would appear apocalyptic, insurance would flow entirely independent of a USD system.

We have written extensively on the topic.

One post is: Is Selling US CDS A Risk-Free Way To Short The Dollar?

do a search for Credit Default Swaps on Zero Hedge for much more on the issue.


DK Delta's picture

So what are you saying, that because it is priced in a different currency and that if "flows entirely independent" that the money actually exists to ensure against it? How is that possible?? Who has that kind of money exactly?

Manthong's picture

No tears here.

This steroid case has been selling everyone a bill of goods for a long time.

He should have just stuck with the steroids and celluloid.

bob_dabolina's picture

Anything to divert attention from the great magnum opus default. 

This is serious if extra-marital affairs is the centric focus of Californias problems. This is where the resources of the AG are going? 

Better start thinking about shorting CXA. It's getting desperate.

disabledvet's picture

diversion?  if i remeber my California days (and i think i do) this is "front and center" for a real crisis.  i'd be going long California debt on the news myself....

disabledvet's picture

repeat after me everyone:  "rowdy Hollywood sets!  rowdy Hollywood sets!"  Gotta say his ex took care of herself darn well.  (don't tell anyone but she's rich and famous, too.  shhhhhh.)

monopoly's picture

Oh come on. When does this all stop. We are making ancient Rome look like a conservative think tank. What, what is that glow I see over the horizon??

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

He got elected so he could Breed, not Lead.

Sokhmate's picture

LOL. as opposed to "I was elected to lead, not to read" per the Simpsons.

Vlad Tepid's picture

"That's the joke." --Ranier Wolfcastle

Fox Moulder's picture

He shoulda paid Bill Clinton consulting fees on how to get away with it. Out of the state coffers of course.

buzzsaw99's picture

Cut the true lies telling sperminator some slack, he hasn't cost cali an[sic] thousandth what the corrupt calpers managers have.

Vuvuzela's picture

Republican family values bullshit

All politicians are corrupted to the bone

Including His Darkness lol



Raymond Reason's picture

I can't believe i actually voted Republican for years.  I told friends in Eastern Europe that we have a lot of people with good intentions here in our govt trying to do the right thing.  They looked at me with pity.   They knew, and i got sheared.

Vuvuzela's picture

I was born in Romania and i can tell you those guys can't fool us because we lived in communism and we know exactly what a totalitarian regime is


mynhair's picture

In my defense, I did refrain from calling that last TD clone an asswipe.  Do I get extra credit?

buzzsaw99's picture

ass wipe is two words unless you are referring to tp, in which case it is one word.


example: That ass wipe needs some asswipe.


nyet on extra credit, points deducted for improper usage.

Antarctico's picture

example: That ass wipe needs some asswipe.

I found this helpful and educational. :D

TorchFire's picture

I suppose the Clinton playbook is a non partisan document.  Arnold only wishes a blue dress had been there for him as it was for soak up his indiscretion.

mynhair's picture

USDHUF will not drop further.  Dammit.

Keeping 190.5 in, as well as 7 at 189.

Sleep tight, and don't let the Libs bite.

Big Ben's picture

I seem to recall that there was some controversy in Jerry Brown's first term when he ordered the California National Guard to pile sandbags around his then-girlfriend Linda Ronstadt's Malibu beach house during a period of severe storms.

Brown's failure to marry Ronstadt was taken by some as conclusive proof that he was either crazy or gay. She was a real babe back then and was making more than $10M per year. So even if the marriage had ended after a few years, he would still have ended up a very wealthy man. There were lots of rumors about an impending marriage. And then it was said that Brown had concluded that marrying Ronstadt would cost him the presidency. (Ronstadt had publicly admitted to problems with drug abuse a few years before.) After that, the marriage rumors died away.

As the song goes: "There's a certain kind of fool that likes to hear the sound of his own name..."


CompassionateFascist's picture

I'll cut the gropenfuehrer a little slack on this one. Being married to an aneroxic and Gov of Mexifornia all at once is not fun. Boys just want to have fun.

Sizzurp's picture

They can't seem to prosecute billion dollar financial fraud, but hey, stick it in the wrong place and you are going directly to jail.

Bastiat's picture

The Sperminator.

AldoHux_IV's picture

It didn't bother me that he wasn't that great of a governor or that he cheated on his wife, but really?? Using state funds for his own private enjoyment! Of course I'm sure (unfortunately) there is way more unethical and misappropriation of privileges at the federal level-- suffice it to say think of the worst thing humanly possibly and a politician has done it.

StychoKiller's picture

Oh noes, they're cannibals!  :>D

cosmictrainwreck's picture

re-run/deja vu....... Wild Bill Clinton in Arkansas

Richard Chesler's picture

No one beats Obozo at the corruption game!


Franken_Stein's picture


So none of you has ever used the services of a hooker ?

Poor you.


I tell you a secret:

If no one did it, how come it is such a lucrative business ?


Almost all of your representatives, be it governors, state senators, state representatives, federal senators, federal representatives,

they all have sex with hookers, interns, maids and so on.


This is happening every day, even now, as we speak.


I mean you can't have the equivalent of the Roman Empire, which the U.S. is, and then not have a decent amount of decadency.


writingsonthewall's picture

Some of us are good looking enough that we don't have to pay for it. I wouldn't want to share any woman who can be obtained by anyone with 50 bucks.


I think your statement shows your true colours - hugly man.


Plastic surgery would probably be a good investment for you.

gall batter's picture

i am happy for you, wallwritings, that you are good looking.  but that isn't necessarily what accomplishes the "goal".  esp. the second time with the same woman.  it's the way you treat her and your touch.  just sayin'.

Franken_Stein's picture
Hong Kong Merchantile Exchange HKMEx to start trading silver futures in 2-3 months !


slaughterer's picture

Off topic, but what just happened to PMs in the last few hours?  Chinese white knight for EU?  Margin hikes?  WTF?

writingsonthewall's picture

I don't know what to say - you elect actors - you get liars - didn't anyone think this was going to happen?


It seems Hollywood has really infected the brains of Californians. I don't care much about where Arnie put his pencil - however I would be more concerned with the giant budget hole and nearly collapsed Cal. economy which the terminator has left in his wake.


Didn't you learn anything from electing Reagan? Failed actors make bad politicians.

Jack Sheet's picture

Outcome (question for Californinan lawyers)

- fine ?

-imprisonment ?

-bugger all ?

- some combination of the above ?


jacksonaction's picture

biggest dead beat dad in history, ows BILLIONS. to jail, to p-test to fed court, fed dead beat dad charges), to state court-where arnold signed dead beat laws last year-- 13 years of no legal child support.

baconator3000's picture

And then it just happened.


I was a younger volunteer just trying to do my part in changing america. I was handing out fliers at the rally. The event was over, but i wanted to give my extra...80% of my paycheck wasnt enough. I wanted to give Obama everything. The future of our nation depended on it. Suddenly,a high ranking campaign staffer walked by me.


"Remember 6 months ago, the raffle to spend 20 minutes with the Future President? Remember John? Well, we picked your number now. He would like to see you now. Dont keep him waiting!"


I started hyperventilating. I couldnt believe it. Millions would kill for this opportunity. 20 minutes with Barack Obama! I could finally tell him my thoughts, have a heart to heart. How Deficiet spending grew the economy, How high Oil Prices brought inovation, and how rich reThuglicans and guns need to be banned.


I started walking with a sly grin, straight towards the Vip section of the bus.

I knocked...



and paused

"Come in.. "

He said.


I opened the door. Immediately noticing all the ballyhoo strewn around. The smell of ciggarrettes and Cold Pizza. Barack was finishing up a campaign call to a donor he gave me a finger indicating he would only be a second. Then he hung up.


I had rehearsed this conversation a million times. It was now time..

"Mr President...This is a great moment for me. I would just like to start by saying tha....."


"John enough with the formalities...I read your background. Come sit down right here"


I walked over to a section of the couch where he indicated I should sit. The president loosened his tie and toss it over a recliner. The president began walking around the Sofa.

"You see it isnt easy being commander in chief. Sometimes John..I just want to be anonymous again, you know. The hardest thing is this whole facade. Michelle and I...sometimes arent on best of terms"


The president placed his hands on my shoulders


"Sometimes we just arent honest with each other. This whole thing"

The president began rubbing me. It felt good. I was so paralyzed.


I stood up


"I think we need to invest more in t..."

The president forced me back down.

"John I dont think you understand..."

"Mr. President....I..."

"Shhhh" Obama said walking around the couch.


"Let me give you something you will never forget"

The president unzipped his pant. A huge cock came out. Not just any cock....A massive floptacular black snake.


Now Im not gay..but i felt obliged. The president needed me and I was here for him. I picked the meaty snake up. Smacked it against my  cheaks. I looked up.


"Thats it...stick it down in there. Its ok. Hope and Change Johhny. How bad do you really want it?" The president said quietly.

"Mrrrrw..Mrwwwwwrrr...mmmmrrrr......Prrrrrdwrrdnnnnt" I said with a mouthful


I tried my best to fit the entire member. It was too large. I continued my best. Gagging at times. Suddenly the president withdrew his member. A huge load of hot liquid lava flew over my face. Blinded...The president zipped up his pants and handed me a dirty pair of his underwear.


" I hope it was worth it jonny" He said as he lit a ciggarrette"

I was saddened..


"Mr president..But I still have 12 minutes"


He looked down...Flicked and ash. Nodded and said

"I know Johny...I know"

"See you soon"





gookempucky's picture

At least he got to rollover the minutes.

spanish inquisition's picture

Politicians and the covering up of side action, the list is endless from the beginning of time,0,315114.story

celticgold's picture

what is this bacon eater , fantasy time?

fx's picture

don't hold your breath, Tyler. the funds needed to uncover the whole stuff will be vastly more than what may be saved by claiming them back from Arnie. And then again you could start an investigation into the life of probably every 2nd or 3rd high ranking politician or state official throughout the US of A and the entire world.

I couldn't care less. Searching for the pennies and being ignorant towards the Billions and gazillions in wasted money.

orangedrinkandchips's picture



Austria, while one of the most georgeous places on earth, spews out the worst of man-kind. Period.


Arnie is sick. Maria is a dope and you just have to laugh in her face. What a maroon.