Carlyle Acquires AlpInvest

Leo Kolivakis's picture

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Hammer Time's picture
Sorry for the language... Hufters (2)

donderdag 27 januari 2011
Soms denk je echt dat je voor Jan Lul staat te toeteren vanaf een zandverstuiving op de Veluwe. Op 22 december jl. hesen we nog de stormbal bij het bericht dat de pensioenfondsen PGGGM en APG hun beleggingsvehikel Alpinvest wilden verkwanselen aan de Amerikaanse onderneming Carlyle, die als het zo uitkomt graag de zwarte vlag met de knekels hijst. Datzelfde Carlyle had de Nederlandse pensioenfondsen in het recente verleden nog willens en wetens een zeperd van een half miljard bezorgd. Maar kennelijk heeft de firma van beruchte schuimers als Bush, Soros, Major, Bin Laden en meer van dat gezelligs een knoert van een vette worst buiten boord gehangen, want onze pensioenbewakers roeiden met hun korjalen verlekkerd eropaf en boden in ruil voor die worst 32 miljard euro. En op het strand lag nog eens 10 miljard te blinken in de zon. En wat deed de dorpsraad onder leiding van medicijnman Bibi? Niks. Die zaten te lullen over een alostop, het pissen in brievenbussen niet strafbaar te stellen, kopstoten tot folklore te verheffen en het afrossen van geboeide arrestanten voortaan te belonen met een plekje in de Eerste Kamer. Terwijl aan de horizon de Amerikaanse driemaster met de knekels in top langzaam uit het zicht verdwijnt. Hadden we Piet Hein nog maar.

Reptil's picture

LMAO! Someone should translate that.


Yes, indeed, how quaint, that suddenly Afghanistan missions are back on the (coffie)table, and pensions will all be paid in full, to everyone, indefinately (no matter what). And boy will those policemen be happy they'll not have to fight over there, since that was decided upon in dutch parliament (in writing, otherwise it could be forgotten)? I hope someone informed the Taliban.

They sold our soul to the devil, and it wasn't even on the eight o'clock NOS news.

("big" disappontment there LOL)

Sadly, the "payment" isn't going to be so voluminous, once the euro will be deflated beyond recognition. (to prop up italian prostitutes, a necessary support function, y'understand) NONE of this "news" reached the MSM of course, so this "sale" (200 mil. euro) is met by hardly any protest, or could it be... that Carlyle bought the paychecks of the ladies and gentlemen politicians too? (in good Carlyle fashion, consistent with Straussian business ethics)

They did wear new suits today...

Orrr was that Putin's money? For the new natural gas relay station, naturally. Or perhaps crispy Yuans for DRAKA, or Rijnmond? Or....

As for your frustration over the indifference amongst the dutch populace... eehm yes, tell me about it. OTOH I think if I'd "go into politics" I'd end up like the last guy that disagreed with the Militairy Industrial Complex. Pim, we missen je! (nog steeds) :-/ Instead I can only blurt out:

OMG they're selling everything!


eh...... got silver?

ZackAttack's picture

Wasn't Carlyle the group of morons who were levered 32:1 (something close to that, I recall) on mortgage debt when Congress raised the conforming loan limit and blew up the convexity of their bond portfolio?

Deserved to go away. But, of course, in our world, 'deserves' has nothing to do with anything. Incompetence must be bailed out and prudence punished.

Reptil's picture

Alas, they didn't go away, but "rematerialised" here. (Using a Lockheed-Martin "black budget" developed transporter of course. ;-P) And the "biofilter" of said transporter was set to "off", otherwise the vermin would've been scattered in atoms all over the galaxy)

Seriously now, the problem in one of the richest countries in western europe (The Netherlands) is, that 98% of the citizens are mentally stuck in 2002 (or perhaps 1998). And are thus easy prey for a bunch of fiscal butchers like the Carlyle Group. And group-think that "everything will be ok, as long as you don't talk about it too much".

claudcarter's picture

Alas, they didn't go away, but "rematerialised" here. (Using a Lockheed-Martin "black budget" developed transporter of course. ;-P) And the "biofilter" of said transporter was set to "off", otherwise the furnished apartments vancouver vermin would've been scattered in atoms all over the galaxy)


I’m no expert, but I think you just made a very good point. You obviously know what you’re talking about, and I can really get behind that. Thanks for being so upfront and so honest

Hammer Time's picture

So, lets go and by PM's with those fiat monnies...

(hiermee misschien 5% positie innemen in goud en zilver, en liefst niet de papieren versie ervan)

illyia's picture

Goldman's masters...

The Carlyle Group, L.P. (commonly The Carlyle Group or Carlyle) is a global alternative asset management firm, specializing in private equity, based in Washington, D.C.. The Carlyle Group operates four fund families, focusing on buyout capital, growth capital, real estate, and leveraged finance investments, with more than $90.9 billion of capital under management diversified over 66 distinct funds as of June 30, 2010.[1] The firm employs more than 890 employees, including 495 investment professionals, in 20 countries with offices in the Americas, Europe, Asia, and Australia, and its portfolio companies employ more than 415,000 people worldwide. The firm has over 1,300 investment partners in 71 countries.

I cannot resist:

Notable current and former employees and advisors

[edit] Business [edit] Political figures [edit] North America

TradingJoe's picture

Hah! Reads like a WHO IS WHO of the bancheros trolls!

Reese Bobby's picture

You ever see "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" Leo?

You remind me of poor Dr. Evil:  "I've been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin' bone here!"

I don't care about what the souless ex-hippies at Carlyle are exploiting these days.  I don't care how many mansions thay have.  It doesn't matter.

Rome is burning and you are tracking the moves of the arsonists?  Fuck them.  Look elsewhere for relevance, I suggest.  I will always be an outsider at ZH by pointing out the relevance of Christ, our savior.  But after following this site since inception I felt compelled to say that to you.  God Bless.

And think about gold in Austria; or "t-bills" in Nordic countries.  There's a storm a coming...

JW n FL's picture

Ward! You! are being a lil hard on the beaver!

Reese Bobby's picture

Yeah, well Eddie Haskell wasn't working.


But I read Leo to be a well-meaning, less-than-a-beautiful-mind, who-may-have-compromising-photos of Tyler decent man.


People who write his kind of stuff are NOT bad people.

JW n FL's picture

Carlyle Group

777 South Flagler Drive, West Palm Beach, FL 33401-6161 (561) 273-6020

they will be fine.. trust me.