To Celebrate The End Of The Recession Small Businesses Are Cancelling Christmas Parties More Than Ever

Tyler Durden's picture

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Sudden Debt's picture

No Christmas parties?

But... how will anybody be able to get that new secretary drunk and bang he in the toiltets?

This doesn't make sence...

Dr. No's picture

"and bang he " Freudian slip?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's just the way they do things in Belgium. Who can account for taste?

Superdrol's picture

Please gentlemen, sexual preferences of all types are welcome at Christmas parties.

Dr. No's picture

Agreed.  All in the name of good cheer.  I pray this year's party will eclipse the debauchery of last years.  Peace on earth.

Drachma's picture

He meant to say, "...bang he in the toiltestes."

hardcleareye's picture

Perhaps SD is a aging cougar and has just hired a nice young boy toy for a secretary?  Of course getting the boy toy drunk and molesting him in the bathroom is counter productive, performance tends to be compromised.

Hulk's picture

"Bang He" didn't that star Richard Simmons?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Twisted minds are always fun to observe. But I would never sit next to one on the bus.

string's picture

It's all pink on the inside!

ColonelCooper's picture

I apologize.  I forgot that I need to be aware of all the hyper sensitive gloryhole drillers who may have their feelings hurt by off color humor.

Don't worry, I'm really not ignorant; I couldn't care less how many cocks you let jizz on your face.


Rider's picture

Thats right, we will miss the secretary on cheap clothes and perfum earning her promotion in the Merrier Recovery Ever!!

Kids, enjoy your food-stamps, and recycled paper wrapped gifts.

Cheer BENRON!!!

shushup's picture

More bad news. No wonder the huge rally.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

I'm sure the executive bonuses will keep flowing. Saving money from those pricey Christmas parties.

It'll be happy hanukkah.

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

The Mainstream Media and Central Banks have both revealed their playbooks:  Pretend & Extend.  The CB know they are on a collision course for hyperinflation and death of fiat currency, but as long as it approaches in a relatively orderly fashion they think they can deal with it (i.e. replace the currency with a new one when complete faith is lost in the USD, EUR, etc.)

The Media are just the Misdirection/Disinformation Arm of the Oligarchy.  They take real data and then spin it, such as the story about Jobless Claims lower than expected = recovery somehow.   You take 95% FACTS, but then add 5% SPIN, and voila, disinformation.

PsychoNews: Exposing the Oligarchy, one Psycho at a time.

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

It is just a race to the last default. Europe is up first. I am guessing Japan will be second with other Asian tigers close behind. China will eventualy inflate itself into oblivion. Then, comes the humdinger of them all, the US. But if everyone else is bankrupt already, does the US care? No, they already own rest of the world pennies on the then toilet paper dollar.

Cistercian's picture

 ZH gets it wrong yet again....the lack of parties indicates an increase in productivity, which aids the bottom line.


goldmiddelfinger's picture

Meanwhile CNBC rages about black friday the best ever from their "CNBC Channell Checks" !! Ooops, that was a slip.

Guess Dana Telsey's next? Her whole business model is based on inside info:

TAG is dedicated to delivering to you unbiased, in-depth company and sector analysis, trend analysis, and forecasting. We utilize a 360 degree comprehensive approach to research ranging from the mall to the boardroom. We provide you with a holistic view of the consumer sector through our in-depth knowledge, industry relationships, and analytical insights


"industry relationships". Hmmmmm

greased up deaf guy's picture

"... underemployment is at 17%, foodstamp recipients are at all time highs (but who cares about that social stratum), discretionary purchases are continuing to be funded primarily from millions of delinquent homeowners who refuse to pay their mortgage (now on average between 18 and 24 months behind), companies are refusing to hire, capex spending is at all time lows, banks are hoarding cash for the imminent perfect MBS putback storm, commodity price inflation is threatening to collapse profit and net income margins, half of Europe is locked out from capital markets, rampant Chinese inflation is threatening to recreate Tianenman square, investors are pulling cash from markets for 29 weeks in a row, hardship withdrawals from 401(k)s surging, the muni mess is one political decision from an avalanche of city and state defaults..."

... and a partridge in a pear tree!

DisparityFlux's picture

Nice clean shot with a 410 will take care of that partridge.

Pass the bread, please.

Whatta's picture

Bah humbug bitchez.

Get back to work and be damed happy I am still paying your sorry ass.

I am sorry Fuhrer Bernank...I will accept less so that the banks might prosper

Fraud-Esq's picture

Barney Frank is trying to get Jonathan Pollard released from jail. 

I wonder what's behind this effort? 

I'd imagine there's a rich secondary market for Barney's polaroids.

Cistercian's picture

 I still assert only fluoridation of the water can explain his re-election.

 He is such a scumbag...and the fact other members tolerate his execrable presence indicts them as well.

Superdrol's picture

These guys are doing it all wrong.  They need to do it like the Wall Street boys do it instead.


Binge excessively on cocaine and prostitutes and write it off as a 'business expense'.  DUH.

Cdad's picture

Well said, TD.  Well said.

The revolution will be one of "defunding."  You see the beginning of it in the mortgage market.  It will expand because...well because most Americans will have no choice but to NOT PAY FOR THINGS because they are broke.


HarryWanger's picture

Our small business has 14 employees. We've had the best September in 9 years, the best October in 8 years and what is looking to be our best November ever. 

Last year we scaled back bonuses and still had a party. This year bigger bonuses and a notch up on the party. We sell completely consumer discretionary products. At our level, it's been a great Q and a great year.

geminiRX's picture

The Harry Wanger sentiment indicator. About as good as any government indicator out there I presume...

xanax's picture

What region of the country?  Seems to be lots of variance across states and cities.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

What industry? You seem to have a lot of time to work all the forums and post here and mw as I saw.

TWORIVER's picture

I think Harry is from teh West Coast as he shows up later in the morning. Maybe he supplies the "self entertainment" segment of the population. He is already fluffing for the TPTB.

HarryWanger's picture

I live in Seattle. Our company is based in Minnesota but sells to retail outlets throughout the country. I am on live with our production facility and sales 5am - 9am Pacific time. That's why I don't post early.

I don't need to be very active in the business after those hours since staff takes care of everything. I am available all day and that's why I stay close to my computer.

Our sales have been strong in all regions except for the Southwest - Las Vegas is especially weak.

101 years and counting's picture

let me guess, your company sells personal pleasure products to women.

when financial times are tough, marriages suffer....and women still have urges....



Dagny Taggart's picture

Harry, you remind me of Michael Scott (Steve Carell) on the Office.

DisparityFlux's picture


Short story.

1990-91 recession, business slow, employees asked to sacrifice, nose to the grindstone, long hours, no overtime, don't expect Christmas bonuses.

Day before Christmas, boss drives through hallway on brand new Harley, dressed as Santa, personal secretary dressed as elf on back handing out Hickory Farms gift boxes.

Merry Christmas.

DisparityFlux's picture

Any of the product lines affected by papal edicts?

Bill Lumbergh's picture

Are you going to throw a holiday bash and invite the ZH community?

HarryWanger's picture

The bash is in Minnesota next weekend. I'll be there all week so posting will be limited to probably late at night if any. Yes, I know, that bums you all out.

Any ZH folks around Mpls, let me know. Drop in for a cocktail.

No Mas's picture

Wish I could meet you Harry.  You've had one quality sorely missing on this site:

You have been right!

Have a great holiday.  I'll be fighting some Chicago traffic this year but hope to be in much warmer places by new years. 

That is if Hawaii is still open.  Is it still open ZH?  Think they'll take a few of the greenbacks that should be worthless by now?  Maybe I should charter the plane using gold or silver?

God this place is funny!!

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Which time was Harry right? Back in May and June, Harry was ready to jump out of a window and appeared to be severely depressed. He was talking doom and gloom.

It's all on the record here on ZH. Ya just gotta click away to find it.

HarryWanger's picture

And rightly so, I shorted via SDS and made a very nice return. When I saw things changing in late summer, I went with the flow. That's the point No Mas makes and my point as well. You have to trade with the market - up or down. I'm not a permabull and not a permabear. I just trade what the market gives me.

Regarding long term outlook, I see improving trends in my business and with many of the business people I meet with regularly. That just started happening in late summer. Things are getting better, slowly but surely, as I've said over and over now. Don't marry a position.

xanax's picture

Things are getting better, slowly but surely, as I've said over and over now. Don't marry a position.


That point will be vehemently fought by most people. Most everyone is either an optimist or pessimist by nature. It is hard for people to be truly "objective" and look at data. Earlier on we had horrific data with one or two shining spots. Now we have better data with one or two soft spots. Gotta agree with you, the trend is changing.

Housing is still a disaster.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'm not talking about your stock positions. I'm talking about your mental position. In May and June of this year you could see nothing good coming round the bend. Your personality changed dramatically. And it changed in sync with the stock market Harry. Your emotional health depends upon the stock market. You blow around in the stock market wind.

Yet you point to people here on ZH as being irrational. You are no better Harry.

kiwidor's picture

Irrationality is what will save us.

i-dog's picture

I understand your approach, Harry. For the 75% in work, things look fine; for the 25% out of work, things look terrible; for the 74% in work but with close family or friends as 99ers or on food stamps, things look tenuous or worse.

However, you do remind me of the guy on the Titanic who is scoffing every last morsel from the buffet while everyone else is already heading for the lifeboats. He keeps furtively looking around to see if the water is coming into the dining room yet, before he grabs his last handful and heads for the door. It must be quite an adrenalin rush! You'd just better hope there is still a lifeboat handy at that time ... the water can rush in rather quickly when you look to pick the top to the very day.

FWIW, I was caught out in the Oct 1987 crash because I was tied up in meetings all day. It can happen to anyone, but it won't happen to me again.

SheepDog-One's picture

Harry the hopium is GOOD!