Cheney or Assange, Who First?

williambanzai7's picture

BLOOMBERG NEWS--Nigeria will file charges against former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and officials from five foreign companies including Halliburton Co. over a $180 million bribery scandal, a prosecutor at the anti-graft agency said.

Indictments will be lodged in a Nigerian court “in the next three days,” Godwin Obla, prosecuting counsel at the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, said in an interview today at his office in Abuja, the capital. An arrest warrant for Cheney “will be issued and transmitted through Interpol,” the world’s biggest international police organization, he said...

Obla said charges will be filed against current and former chief executive officers of Halliburton, including Cheney, who was CEO from 1995 to 2000, and its former unit KBR Inc., based in Houston, Texas; Technip SA, Europe’s second-largest oilfield- services provider; Eni SpA, Italy’s biggest oil company; and Saipem Construction Co., a unit of Eni. Obla didn’t identify the former officials whom he said held office when the alleged bribes were paid.

Last week, Nigeria arrested at least 23 officials from companies including Halliburton, Saipem, Technip and a former subsidiary of Panalpina Welttransport Holding AG in connection with alleged illegal payments to Nigerian officials. Those detained were all freed on bail on Nov. 29.


Cheney's new summer home?

WB7: Better ask InAction Jackson who will go to the big house, Dick Cheney for violating the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (which is a US criminal law) or Assange who no doubt will be extradited for yet to be specified violations of US law?

Also better ask INTERPOL who will be its top priority.

Given Cheney's obvious involvement in a shit tanker loaded with human and criminal violations of domestic, international and galactic law, need I mention the irony of this development?

The first problem, Texas has no extradition treaty with Nigeria.

The second problem, Holder has no jurisdiction over Texas.

The third problem, these violations occurred before Cheney became Vice President. Which shouldn't be a problem, but will be for some soon to be explained reason.

The fourth problem, Texas is actually a subsidiary of Haliburton.


The fifth problem, InAction Jackson only does what Jamie tells him to do and Nigeria is not on Jamie's radar screen.

The sixth problem, no one knows where Assange is, whereas no one knows what Cheney is.

The seventh problem, if Cheney does not use a condom the prison population will be put to a severe health risk.

The eighth problem, the United States officially is the biggest banana republic in the world.





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tony bonn's picture

excellent post....we know that interpol only issues arrest warrants for men who have sex without condoms so i am sure that cheney is safe...blowing up world trade centers is not an arrestable offense...

Aristarchan's picture

HOLY SHIT! You mean the existence of my three kids is prima facie evidence that I have had sex without that dreaded Pope sleeve? Will Interpol now send some jack-booted thugs around to kick my door down in the night and haul me off to Lyon and beat me on the Kidneys with Rosette de Lyon sausages while subjecting me to verbal abuse from French waiters? If I confess to planning the 9/11 attacks will they plea bargain? If I claim to have pulled-out pre-ejact will they have mercy on my soul? If they find out I once shook Cheney's hand, will they throw me in The Bastille with a bunch of rat-faced mafiosos from Crete? Cheney may be safe...but what about me?

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The crazies: Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, Cheney, Rove, etc, they all belong behind bars, in the least.

GoinFawr's picture

Democrat, Republican, Naderite, Paulian, American, Iraqi, human being, whatever: the charge against those thugs still stands.

tamboo's picture

s&msm is all over assange like white on rice,

real threats get jfk treatment. more hegelian dialect,

he's the excuse needed to 'reform' the net.

all that israhel is the good guy stuff? good lord

they really do always overplay their hand.

burn baby burn!

surprised i have to say this yet again.

Aristarchan's picture lost me at the s&msm......

onlooker's picture

Haliburton and Schlumberger are two of the best oil patch companies in the World as far as doing the best work. In the Gulf oil disaster (remember that), Haliburton disagreed with the configuration the drillers set up to cement.

I don’t know the political or international mischief they may or may not have been involved in. I do know if you want the best work done, these are the companies. But speaking of Texas boo boos.

Enron and the Bush Justice Department lack of action to go after the Wall Street conspirators and facilitators is the stain on Texas like Monica's dress. If that had been aggressively prosecuted it is very likely that we would not be in the debacle we are now in financially. This was the mother of our current disaster. It did not have to happen. Texas, the Courts, the White House, and Enron were the warnings of the storm to come that now engulfs us. 


williambanzai7's picture

They know how to drill for oil and tax dollars in Bagdad ;-)

You are right, Enron was a warning that was quickly forgotten. AA paid for their sins and Wall Street got a mulligan.

I blame the whole lineage starting from Reagan. Clinton's pirates laid the trap and W's bandits finished the job. All the terrorism, fear and war offered a convenient cover for our real enemies on Wall Street.


redrob25's picture

I will take the defense of Texas. First off, if not for Texan economy and people migrating here from all over the US, the official US unemployment might have already risen from 22% to 25%. Texas, my home state, has made that big of a dent in the vagabond unemployed masses who lost their jobs in other states (Florida and CA namely) and came here.

Second, if we have a violent version of revolution, who do you think has all the guns? If it comes to that, you want Texans on your side because we actually know how to point and shoot and will be teaching you all that in a few years.

Thirdly, if Texas leaves the Union (won't happen), the US Congress and banking cartel is screwed because we would show that an independent, conservative state can run their own affairs and do it better than the marxists in D.C. can.

There, now I feel better. Ya'll have a good one :-)

New World Chaos's picture

Texas won't secede now, but wait until things get much worse:  Dollar collapse next year --> Ron Paul beats Palin in 2012 primary --> Elites are forced to blatantly steal the election for Obama --> Texas secedes --> Most other states follow --> NY and DC sacked by veterans and militias while military sits back and laughs --> Guillotines, bitches --> Jubilee--> America rises from its ashes as a free country!

williambanzai7's picture

No need to defend Texas...Halliburton on the other hand...

Aristarchan's picture

I would never defend Halliburton per polical power, influence, ect., but I have for worked for them, and around them (albeit many years ago) and they were one of the best and most efficient oil service firms in existence. Just remember this...if you elect a Texas politician as president, you will bring along with them Halliburton, Brown and Root( which is a part of Halliburton operationaly, but not politicaly, LULAC, the Texas State School System ( which by default and buying power, determines grade/middle/high school books for the whole country), schlumberger, Shell oil, most of the airlines...and a hell-broth list of fortune 500 companies. They all understand quid pro Texas...thats how we do bidness.

GoinFawr's picture

All of you tinfoil hat-wearing, canned food and ammo hoarders who say ol' trickulous  re-dickulous Cheney is an evil Nazi are just invoking 'Godwin's Law'.

(Godwin Obla's Law , that is)

Great series this WB7; something to remember the old gaffer by... you know, when he's gone.

Whatta's picture

The fourth problem, Texas is actually a subsidiary of Haliburton.


Hey, hey, you have just gone WAAAAAAY too far, wb7.

We Texans are NOT under HAL rule. Schlumberger has at least an equal portion of the franchise here.

williambanzai7's picture

For the record, Texans are great peope ;-) Its the snakes I can't stand...

BTW New York is actually Tarpistan ;-) 

moofph's picture

...if nigeria gets these guys to even pay a dime (without us paying it for them), can we then give nigeria world superpower status?

New Revolution's picture

The Evil Dick Cheney has a heart?

ThisIsBob's picture

I'll  betcha about a gazillion dollars that the Nigerian paperwork for the arrest will be found to be dificient.

Nevertheless, its will be  interesting to see if a warrant initiated in Nigera will be treated the same respect as one from a bunch of blue eyed blondes.

Whatta's picture

Nevertheless, its will be  interesting to see if a warrant initiated in Nigera will be treated the same respect as one from a bunch of blue eyed blondes.


I am certain it will be treated in the exact fashion as the emails that I get from the kind Nigerian informing me he wants to share $10MM with me if only I'd provide him my credit card info ;>)

williambanzai7's picture

You read my mind ;-) I am doing a letter from Nigeria...

williambanzai7's picture

Seriously, you can't make this stuff up ;-)

blindfaith's picture

just send Nigeria some money and tell them to shut up.  That is how it is done right?  I mean we send Brazil 180 million a year to NOT take the USA to court for paying USA cotton farmers a subsidity.  It is all about getting paid, now if I can just think of a nice way to get paid.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Cheney is a protected tool of the elite and a major keeper of the public myth. So he won't be touched. Besides, the man is dieing. Have you seen recent pictures of him? Lost a lot of weight as his heart slowly gives out.

Confused's picture

Yeah, that might hint at the possibility of cosmic retribution. But death is even too good for him. 

williambanzai7's picture

Are you sure? That is good news...

williambanzai7's picture

This guy is the only sick human being that I would ever say something bad to...Die soon please motherfucker!

weinerdog43's picture

No kidding.  I'll have to quote Mr. Dylan on this:

"...And I hope that you die, And your death'll come soon..."

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Cheney's heart condition is a "known known" he just can't beat.

"There are known knowns; there are things we know that we know.
There are known unknowns; that is to say, there are things that we now know we don’t know.
But there are also unknown unknowns; there are things we do not know we don’t know."


Donald Rumsfeld, Feb 12, 2002

williambanzai7's picture

If you love this quote, you will love the book Trader Guns and Money ;-)

velobabe's picture

you two need to get a hotel room. i know it will be tough going through TSA william, to get to NYC, but i am sure it will just be a precursor warm up before curling up in bed with Coggy reading love stories.

wish you all the luck, don't loose your creativity†

williambanzai7's picture

That is the first book I read when I started thinking about derivatives pre meltdown. He was warning everyone. He is a great writer and very funny ;-)

blindman's picture


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Mercury's picture

This is like accusing someone in a rug market in Marrakesh of not immediately coming forward with their best price.

What percentage of business above the $100 level in Nigeria (or Africa in general) do you suppose gets conducted or is even able to be conducted without bribes? 

I think it's safe to say that Halliburton operates in parts of the world not exactly famous for girl scout like business ethics.

Once America reaches a certain point where the government dominates the economy you'll have to offer bribes to get anything done too.  It will happen first in areas like Obamacare.

Vendetta's picture

"Once America reaches a certain point where the government dominates the economy you'll have to offer bribes to get anything done too."

Its called lobbying and we're already there, I thought you knew.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I think what's being said here is a $50 bribe for that drivers license, a $30 bribe for the marriage certificate, a $100 bribe to take care of that $300 speeding ticket etc.

You know, bribe power to the people.

williambanzai7's picture

It will happen in country recorder offices ;-)

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

girl scout like business ethics

Have you ever borrowed money from a Girl Scout?  No? 

Don't.  Seriously.  ;)

orangedrinkandchips's picture

Cheney is the epitome of evil and just funny his daughter is a pussy eater(nothing wrong with that!).


hardmedicine's picture

well that's impossible since NIgeria doesn't have their own CIA..... otherwise he'd already be dead.