Citi Misses Topline; EPS Beats

Tyler Durden's picture

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Thomas's picture

When the Fed gives you money, is that a revenue?

Ivanovich's picture

Under current FASB rules, sure!

hubbywan's picture

When will any of these phantom banks and their phantom "numbers" be seen for what they are?!? The emperor has no clothes!

Ivanovich's picture

I'm rather annoyed that their tax rate is less than mine.

The Axe's picture

another 12 billion loan loss revision...If not  No Profits....NONE!!!

Cursive's picture

It's harder to fake topline than it is the bottom line.  It's not impossible to fake topline, just harder than the bottom line.

Thomas's picture

The bandwidth boys did a fine job.

Loose-Tools's picture

Slikram Bandit's bean-counters "git er DUN"!

FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Can we please have a donate button set-up straight to the Citi website, these poor guys are suffering, we need to help.

Cdad's picture

absent accounting gimmickry the company would barely have been profitable

Of course.  The criminal syndicate known as Wall Street has now released three consecutive quarters of earnings reports that were designed entirely to give a false sense of the economy and of business in the banks.  

I'm sure the SEC will get right on it, just as soon as M. Shapiro finally wraps up those meetings with J. Dimon, L. Blankfein, and such about which rules she should forget about and which rules should can go ahead and enforce.

I'm equally sure that the BlowHorn [CNBC] will warn people that there are real problems with quarterly earnings reports out of the banking industry.  They will also probably explain now why they have not reported on this problem the last two quarters.

I'm sure the wheels will not fly off the wagon today.  I'm sure Ben Bernanke will finally have an epiphany today.  I'm sure Congress will suddenly see that their plan to keep spending is in doubt.  I'm sure Europe will suddenly get religion on the fact that the Eurozone was a really nice thought...but cannot work.  

And I also know that UnicornDew aternative power is about to take the market by storm.

topcallingtroll's picture

To their credit i temember joe and steve laughing at such reports nefore the crash. Kramer discussed how blatant the manipulation was when he was mock campaigning for sec chief. Kramer said he would be able to catch all the.manipulators because he knew all the tricks of manipulating financial statements and market prices.

Cdad's picture

That may be true...but for the last three quarters, the folk you are talking about have been all bulled up on the bullshit Qs.  During the last JP Morgan release, B. Quick was literally insistent that it was a beat, pinging it again and again until the stock went positive premarket...which of course ended in tears.

What we are talking about, of course, is the complete and utter proliferation of fraud within the banking industry, and the way in which the BlowHorn has been doing its best to carry water for said corrupt banking interests.

And I mention it all here because I know for a fact that things are only going to get worse until the ranks of the criminal syndicate Wall Street banking cartel are thinned, purged of its thieves who have been looting the nation's treasury via one bailout or another for two years now.  There is no shortcut to this cleansing process...except Marxism.

Capital will not form in banks as corrupt as ours.  

Holodomor2012's picture

The criminal syndicate Wall Street banking cartel are the 'Marxists'.  Here are some references proving this point:

  1. The Kennan-Russel Anti-Tsarist Propaganda Campaign among Russian Prisoners of War in Japan, 1904-1905 by Frederick F. Travis
  2. New York Times, November 18, 1911. Article titled: “Denial from Mr. Hammond, Has Opinions on the Russian Question but Sought to Influence No One”
  3. :  http://www.reformed-theology.org/html/books/bolshevik_revolution/chapter_02.htm

Marxism ruined the USSR, and it has ruined the USSA. 

A simple resurgance of nationalism will quickly provide the chutzpah needed to identify and eradicate the source of this seemingly eternal parasitism.

Urban Redneck's picture

"Paging Dr. FASB, we have another patient with weak vitals, should we call Dr. Bernank?"

topcallingtroll's picture

Dr. Fasb now tries to hide the weak vitals rather than provide accurate health information.

topcallingtroll's picture

Even Kramer has said before that he is tired of the bullshit, and joe and stevie used to make fun of such manipulated earnings before the crash scared them.

MISSES TOPLINE BUT EPS BEATS

Just incredible that some people are so stupid the stock may trend up.

SheepDog-One's picture

A bit more on the Saudis cutting oil production, just in time for when bankrupt america is directed to commence 'driving season' where the tent cities apparently fold up and people journey around looking at carved mountains, holes on the ground, and feast on $9 burritos.

Shenandoah » Saudi Arabia Cuts Oil Output Right Before U.S. Summer Driving Season

long juan silver's picture

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overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the fed can give banks FRN's but we all know that ain't money. the fed gives debt notes to all who will have them..I say good luck with that ..a new currency is coming just like old number 9 down the tracks..whoooo hoooo. clickity clak clickity clak..