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The CNBC Business Model

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Whit the recent elimination of anything even remotely approaching journalistic rigor or analysis, and its substitution with endless propaganda and the pitching of "hope" as an investment conduit, many have been scratching their heads over the question of just how it is that CNBC is still on the air, let alone make money: after all selling hope is a very expensive process.

I provide the answer.

Below is an early segment from CNBC in which Joe Kernan provides his analysis of Schwab's just released results. As the video quality is pretty bad (yeah, I know, sorry) I will summarize how it works:

1. Intro - Kernan: Glowing review of Schwab's EPS "beat"

2. Kernan: "Schwab is a fine, fine company and a fine individual."

3. Kernan: "...and quite a sponsor for us."

4. Kernan: "...and we are ready to just be sponsored on Squawk Box."

5. Conclusion - Kernan: "...I don't think you can have too much [of Schwab]."

6. Cut to Charles Schwab Commercial.

So now you know.

 

 


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Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:07 | Link to Comment Undertaker (not verified)
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:11 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:13 | Link to Comment economessed
economessed's picture

CNBC is an entertainment venue that uses the financial sector for its material.

 

At what point in this modern society did we begin to believe that television broadcasting (or even radio, for that matter) -- a one-way, pre-ordained communications conduit -- was a valid source of education or suitable machinery for development of "the truth?"

 

Taleb had it right when he reminded us that even the stoic media institutions in this country that we "believe in" selectively choose the "facts" that they use to conduct their arguments.

 

I treat CNBC for what it is -- a profit-motivated enterprise that has no incentive to enrich or aid me in any way.  Any benefit I derive for consuming their product is a completely random occurance.  But in many ways, watching CNBC is a window into the game plan of your opponent. 

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:29 | Link to Comment ff2017
ff2017's picture

In the late 1990s during the tech bubble.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 14:58 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 07/18/2009 - 03:35 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:13 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:17 | Link to Comment Will Profit
Will Profit's picture

Now that's entertainment! CNBCs perfect sponsor? Summers Eve Douche.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:22 | Link to Comment ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

"I am rethinking everything.  Including who I trust to look after my <fill in the blank>"

 

I know the commercial said money, the sequence just struck me.

 

Pete

Come on CAPTCHA gimme a tough one.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:40 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:46 | Link to Comment zeropointfield (not verified)
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 14:51 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

WhoT!

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:39 | Link to Comment Mako
Mako's picture

Why is everyone watching it? 

 

If you believe all this... turn it off, don't turn back on. 

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:42 | Link to Comment Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

People need to be made aware of just how conflicted CNBC is... and hopefully NEVER invest 1 cent based on anything that the channel discusses or recommends.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:10 | Link to Comment EQ
EQ's picture

CNBC has a great new show coming up highlighting the porn industry.  It's good to see the whores and charlatans on CNBC have leared their lesson after pumping the equity market into 2000, then pumping the China story, commodities, sovereign wealth, foreign investing, homebuilders, etc into 2008.  And now they are out in front of the next crisis with renewed journalistic integrity and vigor.  Porn. 

 

These are some of the dumbest muther fruckers in "journalism".

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:17 | Link to Comment aldousd
aldousd's picture

It's very entertaining when you notice that CNBC lately runs specials on Pot Smoking, Porn, Gambling, and Prostitution, and then you notice that they've been hiring women for their... brains.   Good show guys! Rally?

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:46 | Link to Comment Mako
Mako's picture

Everybody knows.

 

Vote with your wallet, simply turn it off. 

Jon Stewart has been ripping Cramer for months it doesn't mean a thing.  Everyone is ripping on Big Bird and he is loving it, he wants to be the new Dark Vader.  Turn it off. 

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:46 | Link to Comment Screwball
Screwball's picture

Agree TD.  Please continue to expose them for the frauds and liars they are.

 

The investing public deserves much better.  Blogs like this one and others that help expose them can only help.

 

Keep up the good work TD and ZH.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:48 | Link to Comment ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

Just as Fox was Bush's medium, now CNBS is O's medium to the sheeple. (National Barac Channel)

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 15:05 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 18:52 | Link to Comment ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

MSNBC - usually.  NBC - occassionally.  CNBC - no.

 

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:59 | Link to Comment no1ego
no1ego's picture

Well done. This is a piece that could be of benefit to retail investors.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 10:59 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:07 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:10 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:20 | Link to Comment aldousd
aldousd's picture

"I'm not thinking about moving my money. I AM moving it..." into an investment in several gallons of cheap stock liquor.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:35 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:57 | Link to Comment agrotera
agrotera's picture

i watched fox last night and noticed that morganstanlysmithbarney is now a sponsor--THAT was a big mistake for fox.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 11:59 | Link to Comment quant-this
quant-this's picture

C'mon now - Hope is the new bubble.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 16:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 12:43 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 12:47 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:15 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:17 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:30 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 15:03 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:33 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:35 | Link to Comment Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh's picture

Found this funny from RAN:

 

Rochdale Securities' Bove says "the reality is that this was a very bad quarter for JP Morgan Chase (JPM)" US STOCKS

- Bove cites loan and deposit declines, lower margins and higher non-performing assets, also “disappointing” principal transaction results for assessment.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:44 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 13:56 | Link to Comment mellmeister
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 15:16 | Link to Comment joann
joann's picture

That temper tantrum by Drama Queen Kudlow directed to Kunchinich was absolutely an insult to my intelligence.  What a dickhead shill Kudlow has become.

 

CNBS is officially an infomercial content only. 

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 18:25 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 21:00 | Link to Comment Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh's picture

I've sworn more than once that Kudlow and Maria share thier happy dust backset, but the ladies keep sayin that Maria's ass is way too large for her to be a cokehead.

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 14:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

I remember surfing by and they were discussing wearing "snuggies" for that sponsor. 

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 16:04 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 16:05 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 16:13 | Link to Comment draino
draino's picture

cnbc has a lot to do and it must have been a slow news day for them to go out and interview idiots like some guy named
18. Markets are being manipulated by liquidity injections.
19. Bankruptcies are up 50% YOY.
20. Consumer spending continues to decrease. (Critical)
21. Oil prices are soaring, putting pressure on the consumer.
hat tip to http://... good finance articles

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 18:01 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 18:57 | Link to Comment ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Zero TV

 

As a catch phrase: We CAPTCHA you with our content.

 

If that is too lame then: F*ck GS

Thu, 07/16/2009 - 18:59 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 20:02 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 20:12 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 20:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 22:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 07/18/2009 - 15:50 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Mon, 07/20/2009 - 17:23 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sun, 07/26/2009 - 11:04 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 11/18/2010 - 03:34 | Link to Comment meichou
meichou's picture

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