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CNBC's Days As GE's Propganda Puppet Are Almost Over

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In what may end up being one of the best things for CNBC, if not for many of its anchors, the WSJ reports that the Comcast-GE deal for NBC Universal is practically complete. Next stop for the Englewood Cliffs brigade: 15th and Market. Fear not: the Walt Whitman rush our traffic is much more manageable than that of the George Washington. Also, Smokes has a 3 for 1 special for 40 year old anchorettes who will do anything to adjust the weighted average age of their bodies by 5 to 10 years lower.

After weeks of wrestling, both sides have agreed to value NBC
Universal at around $30 billion, people close to the talks said. The
agreement includes a mechanism that could reduce the cash Comcast would
have to kick in when the deal closes, two of those people said.

The two companies are now ironing out the final details of an
agreement, according to the people. An announcement could come as early
as the end of this week, the people said.

And lest you thought ratings shopping was over, it is not. Expect some serious S&P and Moody's cheerleading by CNBC "per the producers" this entire week:

Last Thursday, GE and Comcast met with debt-rating companies to seek
their opinions on the approximately $9 billion in debt NBC Universal
would take on as part of the combination, said people familiar with the
meetings. The parties want NBC Universal's debt to be investment-grade,
the people said. The debt rating is an important element of the deal
because NBC Universal would use its borrowing capacity to help buy out
the stakes of both GE and Vivendi.

GE and Comcast are hoping for a signal this week on how the ratings
firms would regard NBC Universal's debt, people familiar with the
meetings said.

Not surprisingly, Murdoch, after expressing a preliminary interest, is now out of the pciture:

News Corp., which owns The Wall Street Journal, had held preliminary
conversations with GE about an alternative deal involving NBC
Universal. Those discussions have ended, according to people familiar
with the matter, who said the talks never advanced far.

With CNBC's anchors cracking uneasy jokes about the Comcast's health plan, yet so much in favor of the Administrations health system overhaul, this will be a perfect time for them to take advantage of recent heathcare reform. That, and of course, individual shows' sinking ratings (here's looking at your Messrs Kudlow and Cramer). Ironically the biggest winner in the shake up could be the two other perpetual runners up: Bloomberg and Fox Business. Whether they manage to capitalize in the time CNBC is in transition will be interesting to observe.

 

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Sun, 11/08/2009 - 22:44 | 124224 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"The parties want NBC Universal's debt to be investment-grade, the people said."

Notice they "want" the debt to be investment grade, not they wish or hope or plan on including conditions or assets that should make it investment grade.

This is how the wishes of a silent conspiracy are transmitted to others without anyone writing a memo or making a phone call. Just make sure Santa Claus gets the shopping list and wait for the items you "want" to magically materialize.

Of course, there's plenty of plausible deniability and iron clad alibis to go around for the participants to keep them clear of any serious court challenge. Just make your needs known and sit back as the elves prepare your order.

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 22:55 | 124228 bonddude
bonddude's picture

The Turk's a comin' !

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:02 | 124232 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

here comes the Turk

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:05 | 124233 jedwards
jedwards's picture

Will this mean that CNBC will only be shown on Comcast and not on DirectTV anymore?  (Not that I will miss it, I've stopped watching the news altogether because it won't confirm my bias that the stock market should be going down.  As well, I've stopped looking at my brokerage statements as well for the same reason.)

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:20 | 124243 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Guys, GE will still own 49% of NBC, so the propoganda will continue, BET ON IT!

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:25 | 124249 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I just hope Comcast gets rid of those hideously obnoxious WHOOOSH sound effects.

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 12:54 | 124736 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

That's the sound of <tarp> money being flushed down the toilet.

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:30 | 124250 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

At Comcast EVERYONE LOVES MONEY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S-xMTTwgrA

Where Is Sergey? FREE SERGEY Oh wait, i found him:

http://www.crimeandfederalism.com/2009/10/aleynikov-case-continued-again.html

 

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:31 | 124251 Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson's picture

Finally, someone is going to put order among this group of inept stupids. Let's start the bettings:

They are going to get rid immediately of:

1) Denise Kneale

2) Bob Pisani (In my opinion as idiot as Kneale)

3) Sue Herrera (my 80 year old Gramma knows more about the economy than this ignorant and fat anchor)

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:50 | 124265 Fritz
Fritz's picture

don't stop there...keep going

4) J. Kernan

5) B. Quick

6) L. Krudblow

7) M. Haines

 

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 00:57 | 124320 Daedal
Daedal's picture

I'm vile and perverted.
I'm obsessed and deranged.
I've existed for years but very little has changed.
I'm the tool of the government and industry too.
For I'm destined to rule and regulate you.
You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away.
I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say.
I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set....
[Frank Zappa]

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 01:10 | 124331 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Save your money: don't go to the show
Well I turned around an' I said:

An' the Northern Lites commenced t' glow
An' she said
With a tear in her eye:
WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW

Frank Zappa

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 03:11 | 124407 LiquidBrick
LiquidBrick's picture

Interesting. I met a Frank Zappa - artist, writer and Scientologist. Same guy?

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 01:30 | 124347 overbet
overbet's picture

Kernan can stay, I like him and Mr. Faber. I would pay to watch Leisman and Cramer have a knife fight to the death though. 

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 03:09 | 124405 LiquidBrick
LiquidBrick's picture

Why take any prisoners? Finish off the list with

8) Mike "I prefer to consider myself a pharmaceutical reporter as opposed to "drug expert" Huckman

9) Charlie "where's my steak" Gasparino

10) Amanda "Will be happy to go down under with you Joe, anytime" Drury

11) Maria Caruso ""Schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!" Cabrera

12) Carlos "I can't believe Kernan has less brains and more money than me" Quesadia.

13) Trish "Yes, I know I have 'make me squeal like a pig' written on my oink face' but thoughts-off for another 6 weeks" Regan.

14) Michelle "If I get fired its a job at gangbangsquad.com" Lee

15) Melissa "I'm still on my intern" Francis

16) Maria "Ladies, this is how you suck the chrome off with a smile" Bartiromo

and last but not least

17) Hampton "Can you really see my eyes moving as I read the teleprompter" Piercon.

 

 

 

 

 

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 19:51 | 125275 Zippyin Annapolis
Zippyin Annapolis's picture

Stop, I am wetting my pants-- toooo muchh-

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 23:11 | 125439 Daedal
Daedal's picture

LMAO

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 10:12 | 124538 Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson's picture

Oh yes!! Mark Haines. This pig, stupid as Kneale, arrogant as Cramer and fat as Sue Herrera represents all the stupidity CNBC is all about.

The winner!

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:33 | 124255 Lionhead
Lionhead's picture

OK, I'm waiting for the GS recommendation here for GE, all their subsidiaries and bonds. Might as well goose the entire structure up as far as the "law" allows.  As for CNBC & select personnel, good riddance...

Sun, 11/08/2009 - 23:40 | 124261 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Hope Kudlow and the whole gang soon get to enjoy unemployment benefits. This gang of Republican ideologues deserves to be silenced since what they know about the economy has the same value to their viewing audience as an old Enron stock certificate.

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 01:22 | 124306 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

The young folks doing Comcast channel 001 On demand feature lead ins may well have some new competition from the potential personnel reassignments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjiBL8Kq9mg

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 00:43 | 124309 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I bet my life that first to go is Dennis Kneale

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 00:54 | 124314 jimcg
jimcg's picture

What about Cramer?

How will the world know what to do with their investments without his "advice"?

More importantly, at least for Cramer, IMO, how will Cramer make any money without the CNCB platform?

Stay tuned!

 

 

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 01:19 | 124341 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Before you all chime in to can Kudlow, keep in mind that he has value as a contrary indicator.  When he is despondent (following the "Haines bottom") it's time to get long.  When he's ebullient (now there's an overworked 50 cent word) it's time to start finding the exits.  I just wish Kudlow would discover the difference between "imply" and "infer".  He should also stay away from words like the beloved "ebullient" as noted above.  The word has 4 syllables, not 3.  He is a useful study in how not to be contrarian.  Would I lose sleep without him?  Nope.

And while I'm at it, what's not to love about Dennis Kneale?

 

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 03:19 | 124411 digalert
digalert's picture

What will happen to everyones fav, head chief world national politico economics policy analyst advisor expert commentator reporter Obama pep rally team captain Liesman? hmmm

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 07:53 | 124474 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Rick Santelli can stay. That dude is a trip.

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 07:55 | 124475 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Rick Santelli can stay. That dude is a trip.

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 08:15 | 124481 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

This news was better than expected! Any talks of a downturn were already factored in with the market. Things are looking strong for a break out to the upside so you may want to consider that. We do 'G-d's work' here at CNBC with Crammer saying BUY BUY BUY!!!

BOOO-YAH!

NOTE: Krudblow was unavailable for comment as he was in the bathroom with what must be a bad cold judging from all the nose blowing going on in his stall.

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 10:46 | 124561 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Good article, but I don't understand why in the world anyone would think the anchors support the Administration's health care reform bill. They savage it nonstop. CNBC has gotten more and more political -- and less and less financial. It's like watching Fox News in the evenings. I'd gladly trade them for Bloomberg on my cable system.

And I agree with the above "swoosh" comment. Anyone who has read "The Tipping Point" will recognize the annoying techniques CNBC uses to keep eyes on the screen.

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 11:35 | 124624 Forbes
Forbes's picture

Englewood Cliffs? Try Fort Lee...

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 11:43 | 124629 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Comcast competitors generally offered only CNBC in basic/expanded packages. What a wonderful time for them to reconsider... (hear that, COX?)

Mon, 11/09/2009 - 12:29 | 124692 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

CNBC is not gone. Byecast is. I was really hoping that they would not fall for the honey trap. Silly me.

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