Colbert Takes On Mubarak, As Egyptians Take On Regime With Bread Helmets

Tyler Durden's picture

Who better to explain what is going on in Cairo to America's masses than Stephen Colbert. And yes, Jersey Shore analogies are most certainly included for comprehension's sake...


The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Mubarak Mu Problems
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> Video Archive

and Second:

The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Cairo Turns Into the Jersey Shore
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> Video Archive

And, indicatively, this is how Egyptian protesters protect their heads during a revolution:

Have you ever wanted freedom so bad, that you strapped bread to your head?

And this:

h/t Scrataliano

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serotonindumptruck's picture

I've been accused of having a sick sense of humor in the past, however I see absolutely nothing funny or humorous about the situation in Egypt.

Do I need to lighten up? 

UGrev's picture

No, however.. the guy with the bread helmet deserves a chuckle... I mean.. c'mon.. lol

UGrev's picture

If you're trying to make a point, it failed. Bread helmet guy is funny.. the rest of the revolution, not so much. I understand it seriousness... I just choose find a little light-hearted spot in all the doom and gloom around here and in the world. 

Michael's picture

Maybe this is how we got so desensitized to it, watching stuff like this.

SNL: Massive Head Wound Harry

Haywood Jablowme's picture


Bread helmets........BRILLIANT!  HAHA LMFAO

Sourdough bread bowls biznitches!!  One size fits all!



BorisTheBlade's picture

Egyptians are taking on their elite with bread helmets, Americans are still stuck with their tinfoil hats.

Batty Koda's picture

How has that worked out for them?

BorisTheBlade's picture

Obviously it hasn't yet, but looks more practical.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Obviously it hasn't yet, but looks more practical.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Obviously it hasn't yet, but looks more practical.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Sorry for a qaudruple post, tinfoil hat malfunction.

MsCreant's picture

Malcom waits for a thread to get going, then posts his blog at the top of the thread. Don't take it personally, you were just near the top to respond to. I have found what I have seen on his blog useful so I am not dissing him, but I know he was not responding to you in particular.

Tragedy and Comedy are two faces on the same coin. No reason to have a fight about this one. Cannot have one without the other.

Amish Hacker's picture

Agreed. There was nothing funny about 9/11, but I remember when The Onion came out with their first issue afterwards, the headline was "Holy Fucking Shit."

No need to fall into the "serious" trap, especially with things that are too important to get all serious about.

MsCreant's picture

Great headline! Because it sucked so hard is why it could be that freaking funny.

I have been told that one way of thinking about it is that each of the 4 basic emotions (happy, sad, angry, afraid) can serve to mask the others, depending on what is more threatening at the moment. We laugh because we are overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or fear. We get hopping pissed because we don't want to own sadness and loss. We rage because really we are afraid. The knee jerk one often isn't the real one. We are just human, there is no right way to be. We will go through them all, processing and becoming.

I like the Amish Hacker motif!

SWRichmond's picture

If those are the 4 basic emotions then it is amazing we've gotten this far.  Three of them are negative, two are often paralyzing.  I do, however, understand the chemical nature of emotions and human behaviour / response.

Ned Zeppelin's picture

You're right. It was the shit that came after that was a scream - color coded terror index the same in Des Moines as in New York, as if the country was infested with Islamic terrorists; blaming 9/11 on Iraqis instead of a simple case of the USA being caught with its naive pants down around its ankles. I mean, allowing Saudi dirtbags to take huge jet flight training without so much as a question being raised? George Bush as an inspirational president? Guiliani a supposed hero for happening to be on duty when 9-11 hit? Now, that some's funny shit. 

MsCreant's picture

Nice to see you around Ned. Hope all is well.

The country is infested alright. Same problem then as now, eh? We need a nano-technology or something that just takes out sociopaths and psychopaths. Course then again, how would we find folks to be bankers, CEOs of TBTFs, and politicians?

Absinthe Minded's picture

I'm afraid soon we'll all have to carry weapons to feel prepared to go out. I say prepared because we may never feel safe again. It seems like our Constitution is working against us. Everything that gives normal hard working people who just want freedom and the ability to build a normal life also enables weasels to exploit it's virtues and twist them into a sick right to fuck with us. I'm sick of al the fuckin' unions in this country, if you don't like how a company treats you then fuckin' quit! Find a place to work that you like. It's sad that people are so wimpy now they have to rely on unions. Unions just take advantage of you. Union dues are like paying protection to the mob, or giving to a charity that has a 60% operating budget. All bullshit ways to fuck people over. Totally OT but just had to vent.

downwiththebanks's picture

Uncle Sam was not "caught with [his] pants down" on 911.

He used his little alCIAda patsies to deflect attention from the fact that he and his contractors carried out the meticulously planned operation from beginning to end.

Hephasteus's picture

Hmm. You're neptune and mercury are strong. You figured out the entire context of the situation and fixed the miscommunications. I used to incessently do that when I used to hang around astrologer types who just go out of thier flipping minds and criss cross wires right and frikkin left during mecury retrogrades. It got to be a joke. I'd say. I'm not fixing this one. And they'd actually talk and fix it themselves.

Not that that's going to happen here. He just comes in dumps links to his blog and blows. Which is why banazai and ori are NOT A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME like him. But then you knew that and that's why you fixed it.

MsCreant's picture

On a Meyers Briggs, I'm guessing you are an INFP, but the F is very close to being in the center, towards a T. I'm the same way is why I say it. You let your P and F rip more freely than I do, I'm more repressed because my environment forced me to be (survival demanded it).

I understand the astrology as a way to unhook from linear thinking to discover other narrative possibilities. 

I'd love to have you do my chart. 

MsCreant's picture

Will you be joining us sweetie?

chumbawamba's picture

Only if there will be cake.

MsCreant's picture

Are you the snake in the garden then?

Hephasteus's picture

We're all the snake. The head is government scribes. The tail is the poor. The head always tries to eat the tail. The middle is responsible for keeping the snake straight by drowning the head in a bucket of don't give a fuck.

The middle is the target. It will be taken out or seperated but the tail won't go with the head. It's break up time.

damage's picture

I'm INFJ, and Gemini Cancer rising...

Landrew's picture

The price of bread is what started the riots. The man is making a statement, bread is more protection than any helmet? As we run out of cheap energy does this fate await all of us?Bread helmets with U.S. flags?

MsCreant's picture

Nice interpretation. 

ThirdCoastSurfer's picture

Football, err.. I mean Mubarak, has been berry,  berry good to me. 

For sale now on HSN, the Food Helmet! During the day, it protects your skull, at night, it's a delicious meal. Up size now,  and breadstick sideburns are just $.99 extra!

bunkermeatheadprogeny's picture

As the old saying goes:
"Do what you can, where you are, with what you have."

chumbawamba's picture

Egg-zactly.  There are people literally dying from being struck by projectiles.  As ridiculous as they look, the breadheads and rockdomes are exercising extreme sense.  They are trading a little bit of their dignity to increase their odds of surviving this maelstrom.  And when your local sports customs don't incorporate gear such as helmets that make them ubiquitous, you'd be wise to improvise.

I am Chumbawamba.

Michael's picture

When you laugh off every serious legitimate concern, trying to render the issue innocuous, you are diagnosed as having; "Colbert/Stewart Chuckle Syndrome".

The entire MSNBC staff and most CNN, FOX, MSM employees are certifiable as having this syndrome.


TBT or not TBT's picture

Well, it all looks caricaturally silly to us, the nutty rest of the world.   Take Egypt, where leading clerics invented new Islamic texts to justify cutting off 90% of all egyptian girls clitorises.   Five millenia or whatever of civilisation under their feet and plenty of places there smell like sewage.    Over 80% of the population would like to see the punishment for adultery be stoning to death, and don't get me started on the rules of evidence for such cases depending on whether you are male or female.     It is a great stinking tragedy, down there with some of the shittiest countries on the planet, but there are billions living such backwardness.   We can't take on the problems of the whole world.

serotonindumptruck's picture

Wow, that's just freaking hilarious.

New_Meat's picture

5,000 year leap.  Why does this continue in a 'civilization' that was purportedly the 'most enlightened' back when?  e.g.:

must have something to do with all of the things that are being challenged these days.

- Ned

downwiththebanks's picture

While Egyptian civilization gave birth to Ancient Greece and was world paragon for more than 6 millennia, they're not as cool as White Europeans.

Because Egyptians never found a way to use slave labor, genocide, and ecological pillage in order to put flashing lights in their sneakers.

Fuckin' idiots.  You can be free without illuminated shoes.

chumbawamba's picture

What is your source for all these assertions?

TBT or not TBT's picture

As to the prevalence of the various types of cutting up little girls' junk, you could  start with the very extensive Wikipedia article on the practice ( ), which tags prevalence of the practice in Egypt (see the long list country by country) at somewhere between 78 and 96 %, giving multiple references that you can click through.

This is

a)  very fucked up

b)  true story

It is not an islamic practice per se, but important clerics in Egypt have stated that non authenticated parts of the Islam's sacred texts make reference to the practice as being proper.    It is hard to imagine this is false, given the practices of Islam and FGM have coexisted in Egypt for over a millenia, and in that time the religion of peace has at best done nothing to recommend against the barbaric practice.    

Keep all this in mind while watching the bread-heads chunking bits of paver at each other.

There is a reason the place is so goddamned poor, and the reason is between the baguettes.

chumbawamba's picture

You're an idiot.

No matter how many times this is pointed out to bigots and racists like yourself, you'll only hear what you want to hear to reinforce your own stereotypes and hatreds, the hatreds instilled within you by a hurtful, distant mother and a negligent, absent father.

"It is not an [I]slamic practice per se..."  No it is not.  Not per se, or at all.  It is a cultural practice, carried out by ignorant fucks who also happen to practice Islam.  Since you're an ugly human, intent on finding fault in others to cover up your own inadequecies and self-shame, you find connections that aren't there.

Are rape, divorce and abortion not "Christian practices per se" but Christian nonetheless since there are high rates of each in America, a predominantly Christian nation?

Do you now sense the mental retardation of your logic?

And just for good measure, here are the parts of the Wikipedia page you linked that you obviously missed:

Al-Azhar Supreme Council of Islamic Research, the highest religious authority in Egypt, issued a statement saying FGM/C has no basis in core Islamic law or any of its partial provisions and that it is harmful and should not be practised."[36]

Coptic Pope Shenouda, the leader of Egypt's minority Christian community, said that neither the Qur'an nor the Bible demand or mention female circumcision.

Go back to clown school and learn to properly exit the car before you attempt philosophy, you fucking derelict.

I am Chumbawamba.