Company With "No Equity Value" Is Most Actively Traded Stock In The Market, Cramer Recommends You Buy It Now, "Likes Worthlessness"

Tyler Durden's picture

Worthless Ambac is now the most actively traded stock in the market. The other 4 stocks the complete the quintfecta of most active stocks: C, FNM, BPOP and BAC. The liquidity rebate collecting computers and momentum algos are just having a field day, toying with daytraders. In case you still haven't figured out how to trade this market, find the most bankrupt companies and load up. You can't go wrong. Obama and Bernanke said so. Plus S&P 1,200 must be taken out at all margin call costs. 25x P/E (50x if you take out the stimulus)? Who cares. Not the computers.

 

All of the above means of course that Cramer is recommending it:

Give Me Some of That 'Worthless' Ambac
04/13/2010 11:49 AM

I hate Ambac Financial (ABK - commentary - Trade Now). I believe the current stub of equity is worthless. The claims are too big and the cash too small. But so what.

Ouch.

That's painful to write. Especially, when you consider the Columnist Conversation tune of Tim Collins, and the excellent work by Andrew Wessel at JP Morgan backing up that analysis.

But it doesn't matter. You could argue that none of these insurers are technically solvent: Radian (RDN - commentary - Trade Now), PMI (PMI - commentary - Trade Now), MGIC Investment (MTG - commentary - Trade Now), MBIA (MBI - commentary - Trade Now). It hasn't meant a thing.

MGIC has rallied 400% during its extended period of "worthlessness." I want some of that worthlessness. Radian's up 600% during its "worthless" period. I would have liked a piece of that worthlessness. How about grabbing a hunk of the 800% rally in the "worthless" PMI? Wouldn't that have been delicious?

Do you hold your nose and buy ABK because of those rallies? I believe, oddly, yes. Now, there is simply no percentage in admitting you would ever recommend a worthless security. But this is a game of performance, not a game of valuation. There are plenty of genuinely worthless stocks that have gone up huge. There are tons of cases where gigantically worthless stocks -- almost every dotcom circa 1999-2000 -- gave you great returns.

The purists out there have spurned these points. I could care less about purity. I could care less that someone might be able to say Cramer likes worthlessness. But the !@#$% animal spirits have it going, and a worthless stock can be worth something if it moves up that much and starts offering equity or bonds against it.

Again, I hate these situations. But they are real. They are happening. They have happened. And this is one of them that I feel is destined to happen again.

Sorry.

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Jeff Lebowski's picture

Mr. Cramer draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Durden. Now we got a nice, quiet little ponzi community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Durden. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?

ExistentialSkeptic's picture

you forgot the /sarc tag.

But then again, was it really necessary?

Problem Is's picture

"I'm sorry... I wasn't listening..."

mule65's picture

Maybe, but I'm still buying Puts as insurance.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

Banks buying their own shares: masturflation.

Hephasteus's picture

Oh that one definitely won the most humorous thing on the internet today award.

Rainman's picture

YES.....I would copyright that term NOW !! Then charge TD for its future use.

Mongo's picture

*blip* *blop* bzzzzrk

carbonmutant's picture

400% Short Squeeze

Divided States of America's picture

Tomorrow is another Bernie speak. We all know what is coming out of his mouth. Rates will be low indefinitely. Time to ramp up the markets at the close.

Sudden Debt's picture

Whenever a company seems to be going bust... what do you do?... BUY IT!

Really, I've been watching a lot of crappy stocks when they plummet down with very good reason, and without reason they rise back up like phoenixes.

GlassHammer's picture

Its like reverse value investing where I find the something devoid of value and bet on that.

Maybe get some options on something totally worthless.

E pluribus unum's picture

Think like Cramer"

 

If the stock is "worthless" than it can't go any lower than that. What if AMBIC hits the lottery over the weekend.

lsbumblebee's picture

"Ouch. That's painful to write. But my bosses over at Goldman Sachs ordered me to do it. You see, I have no conscience. It's what they call 'sociopathic'. Go figure."

Captain Obviousness's picture

If Cramer is going to recommend retail investors put their savings in bankrupt financial companies because the stocks are gamed by computers, he damn well better shout from the rooftops when it's time to get out.  Somehow I doubt he will.

Internet Tough Guy's picture

Jump on the bus to Crazy Cramer town, because the dot com ride was not enough.

BlackBeard's picture

Do you believe in magic?

emsolý's picture

such a shame the "Trade Now" hyperlinks are not active - i totally would have bought some, just to get that destined feeling of it "happening".

Mitchman's picture

this is the best goddammed blog on the web!n  let's float the thing!

fuggetaboutit's picture

for anyone thinking the market is anything but a screaming, raging bubble of no volume positivity - go pull what this dufus wrote in 2000 and lay it side by side with the above

Hugh Janus's picture

along with his "new tech" special on commodity stocks in the spring/summer of 08.

Hugh Janus's picture

so he recommended it at 2.60 ish and it just closed at 1.67.  another perfectly timed call by the maestro.

ZackAttack's picture

Bwah! The conspiracy to keep Cramericans broke and stupid.

Gapped up to 2.95 at the open, from 2.25 close yesterday.

After hours: 1.63 -0.62 (-27.56%)

Brings back fond memories of Gasparino feverishly attempting a stick-save with the rumor-du-jour into the close, as it fell from 65 to 1 over a little more than a year. I caught it twice on the short side for a decent chunk out of the middle. But the time for these games was many months ago. Now, you would be playing against SkyNet.

 

Cheeky Bastard's picture

I buy shiny stocks. They so purty. 

-Jim Cramer 

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Any doubts now we are experiencing another stock market bubble?

 

Thanks, Bernanke, for the continued destruction of our country.

Thunder44's picture

Everything is TBTF no risk, everything must go up.bankrupt or not.Have to restore normal.

Dr Hackenbush's picture

once they hunt your stop, the algos just continue to shrug off all bad news. 

 

Prof Gulliver's picture

Meanwhile, INTC blew the door off earnings, so it's Dow 12K, probably before the end of the month. By the summer, we'll be halfway to Tyler's Dow 36K.

godfader's picture

The sad truth is a moron like Cramer has been right for the last 4000 Down points and 1000s of anonymous bloggers have lost all the money that they made shorting in 2008 and then some in this ridiculous short squeeze.

Then again most of these bears probably aren't trading for a living, they'd rather be right than make money so I bet they don't really care if they got their head handed to them on a plate.

Cheeky Bastard's picture

I have not lost one single USD/EUR/AUD/CAD in the timeframe that you speak of. Actually, couple of mil. landed into my bank account.

No, im not a genius.

I just DON'T play a RIGGED FUCKING GAME that has no support in reality.

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

I just bought oil last March when it was clear Bernanke was going to kill the dollar.

Who needs to worry about earnings and the like?  Just bet on dollar destruction.

buzzsaw99's picture

You ever see a squids's eyes? He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The market turns green, and despite all the buyin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces."

Dr. No's picture

Im going to need a bigger brokerage account.

buzzsaw99's picture

I'm talkin' about workin' for a livin'. I'm talkin' about sharkin'!

Dr. No's picture

You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn (to get shafted by the market).

Crummy's picture

Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed audit on a vampire squid. And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kitco buy spill out all over the Comex.

Astute Investor's picture

You got city hands, Mr. Cramer.  You been countin' money all your life.....

Racer's picture

And looking at the after hours markets it seems that they now move more in out of hours than in 'normal' trading!

Dax is also doing the same now too!

b_thunder's picture

Down roughtly 45% from the time Cramers' feces were thrown on the air!

 

DonnieD's picture

Best Investement Advice Ever: Buy a worthless equity just because "the !@#$% animal spirits have it going".

 

Mercury's picture

Man... Cramer has really gone off the deep end on this one.  I specifically remember his warning against trading the bankrupt WorldCom (less than a penny I think at the time--2002?) in a similar article on his site.  There's no there there, everyone knows the end game is zero, stay away - was essentially his (correct) assessment.  This time is different? Sure there are circumstances when something near-worthless or worthless can  temporarily be hot potatoed around for a quick buck but to recommend this to retail investors.  What a fuckhead.

It's a shame really.  Back in the mid-late 90's when he was a hedge fund manager, his new Street.com site was very cutting edge, had info you couldn't really get anywhere else and was doing pretty much what ZH is doing now in a more narrow context.

I can't imagine what Cramer's motivation is these days for doing what he does.  He just goes from bad to worse.

Let's just hope Tyler isn't hosting some Bet-The-Rent! type game show and director of the U.S. Mint in ten years.

 

equity_momo's picture

How does this guy still have a tv show?

Amazing. Simply fking amazing.

stickyfingers's picture

If it's springtime can the tulip mania be far behind.

hettygreen's picture

This Cramer story reminds me of the classic stock offering from the South Sea Bubble:

"A company for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is."

According to Charles MacKay this unknown man of genius, upon receiving within five hours a 2 pound deposit from 1,000 beguiled subscribers, set off the same evening for the Continent, never to be heard from again.

economicmorphine's picture

Cramer can't be that stupid.  He's selling into it.  No doubt in my mind.

Reese Bobby's picture

I think Cramer is the black hole of stupidity...

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

You have to wonder.  One of his writers, Gavin Magor, knows more about that company than the regulators.  Guaranteed he knew damn well it would tank soon.