Complete NFP Market Reaction Cheat Sheet

Tyler Durden's picture

All you need to know about how the market reacts to Non-Farm Payroll day in one convenient cheat sheet. Despite a gross cumulative surprise of 3,480,000 (jobs below expectations), and an average surprise of -27,000, coupled with a negative bias (0.53% negative surprise, 0.33% positive surprise), the market tends to have a bullish average return on payroll days of 0.14% (0.07% median) compared to 0.03% average on all other days. In other words, even if there is a miss tomorrow, which is highly unlikely, expect the market to "internalize" the news and come up with some completely idiotic explanation which excuses yet another stock ramp, which will only be avoided if nuclear war breaks out (and even then it is a toss up).

h/t John Lohman

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slow_roast's picture

"What dip?" said the blind man

alien-IQ's picture

nuclear war would send the real estate market soaring...which is in turn...yes...bullish.

bankrupt JPM buy silver's picture

"which will only be avoided if nuclear war breaks out" holy fuck that's great.  WOWzers.

JuicyTheAnimal's picture

and what do metals do? 

6_7_42's picture

Direction is always up ('cept DXY).


tallen's picture

Oh I forgot, the market can go DOWN.

Shameful's picture

Nuclear wars would be bullish.  Have to rebuild cities, dispose of corpses, decontaminate land and water, and someone gets that fat gov contract.  Go long Haliburton :)

Dr. Porkchop's picture

Post apocalypse mutant labor will make the Chinese labor pool look like Teamsters!

Wm the Shrubber's picture

Leaning into the wind, but my guess is that we give some back tomorrow.  If the market wishes to inflict the maximum pain on the most people, then taking the "under" may be the proper counterintuitive play.

Raynja's picture

I'd have to agree, repeat of tuesday.

Fearless Rick's picture

Yep, now that it's out in the open, have to kill it. Loved it when Bob Pisant on CNBC effused over the 1st of month metric in the morning. You knew the fix was in at that point.

Traianus Augustus's picture
Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded. - Dostoevsky

Every post - regardless of the story seems to be laced with sarcasm now. 



Orly's picture

I am surprised he didn't need fourteen pages of text to have relayed that thought.


FOC 1183's picture

I'm surprised that anyone who reads Dostoevsky is still alive (vs. commit suicide)

slewie the pi-rat's picture

by the 1860's dostoevsky was in his early 40's the serfs were being freed, his wife died, and also his brother.  he ran around europe, gambling.  roulette.  horrible, overweening compulsion.   The Gambler (1867) is an amazing little book.

alien-IQ's picture

we don't buy the story yet the market (and sadly the country) runs on the story. what are we left with? what are our choices but sarcasm, tears or rage?

tears are best shed in private.

actionable rage is prosecuted.

all that's know.

digalert's picture

CNBS holding backstage pep-rally now!

DOW 36k hats ready to ship...

MolotovCockhead's picture

The only way to get a negative market responce is for Ben Bernank to have a heart attack and rush into ICU, other than that, it's going up!

Zero Govt's picture

actually the easiest way for the markets to go down is for Elliott Wave to call "up'. They've been calling it down for 8 months and been getting it wrong for 8 months. There's simply no better contrarian advise, whatever they say do the opposite and you're 100% sure to be right because they're 100% sure to be wrong

alfred b.'s picture


   US has gone over the tipping point, it's aleady gone over the edge and is beyond redemption...collapse and/or default are only options.     ALL data and reports are IRRELEVANT and MEANINGLESS and will be rendered obsolete in the grander scheme!



gwar5's picture

No work, no revenues. No revenues, more printing. 

ebworthen's picture


People increasingly react to the latest stimulus - not the pattern.

If you are going to live for the moment, feel good in the moment, you must ignore previous data.

The rats in the maze are getting the pellet, and the pretty red light and noise means another pellet is coming.

There are a dozen cats stalking the rats, but they don't even sense the cats as their fellow rats are yanked away one-by-one in adjacent mazes to have their heads knawed off.


slewie the pi-rat's picture

the last cat that tried that w/ me, eb, i got her into playing, like frisbee golf w/me;  then i killed her.  but i don't eat cat.  especially a dead one.

cosmictrainwreck's picture

Oh, Tyler........ you're so cynical..... :)

Ferg .'s picture

Ah NFP Friday ! Where fortunes are won and lost within milliseconds .

Zero Govt's picture

Why does anyone think the stock market will react to a jobs report?

Who thinks a 50,000 blip up or down in payrolls would make me stop investing my $20k in a company i'd targeted or a negative payroll cause me to suddenly pull my $20k out of a companies stock??

Shouldn't the jobs report be sent to the Jobs Centre as a bell-weather for employment prospects? I'm perplexed why anyone would think jobs would impact stock indexes at all !

99er's picture


Big Picture: Bearish Butterfly.

Zoom: Butterfly transforms into a Wolfe Wave with a target of 2236.

Bummer for Bulls.


Cursive's picture

I really do think there's at least a 70% we'd have a green close on the SPX even if there were a (non-test) nuclear bomb detonated anywhere tomorrow.

spekulatn's picture

which will only be avoided if nuclear war breaks out (and even then it is a toss up).



ziggy59's picture

Remember, Things only go HIGHER with Hopium!

lsbumblebee's picture

Off topic. Harvey Organ reporting the friends of Andrew Maguire have forced an 80% premium from Dutch Masters on their silver contracts. Apparently 4000 standing for delivery will break the Comex.

alfred b.'s picture


 ....finally good news !!    many tnx bbb

Dr. Porkchop's picture

If they are simply going to accept premiums, what does JPM care if they come back week after week? JPM has unlimited free money.

barliman's picture


Will Skynet (HFT) continue the trading facade after nuclear winter?

Yes, it will flush out the bigger fools that somehow survived.



SilverBaron's picture

At the company I worked for, if you didn't put your 401K into the high earning stock fund and forget about it (you are in it for the long term), you would be referred to the plant manager for a "talk" about why you should.  All those idiots lost a fortune.  Of course they gained most of it back now thanks to Ben, (at least the ones who were fortunate enough to still be employed) but we'll see if they are dumb enough to get screwed twice.  My guess is yes.

QQQBall's picture

Really, you think you want to own fixed assets in a nuke conflict? really? I guess if your shopping center gets nuked, you'll just wait a gazillion years for the land to stop glowing?

slewie the pi-rat's picture

we voted for aprah.  we got roseanne.  twice.  all we have learned is that oprah woulda been worse!

the best way to avoid nukular hologramZ from Costco is to be found in maniacal bracketology.

bracketology, i say. 

i like kentucky;  some of the prettiest cheerleaders in the state are sending me their bible verses now, and i'm gettin hardwood like a louiseville slugger.

Dr. Porkchop's picture

PMs looking stable overnight. If NFP looks bad, a rally?

purple99's picture

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”

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