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From Cool To iTool: Did South Park Just Hack Apple's Coolness Away?

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 04/30/2011 10:22 -0400

The same two geniuses who made "Aaaand, it's gone" a household phrase, bring you the HUMANCENTiPAD. Was Apple just hacked from cool to iTool?

HUMANCENTiPAD
Tags: SOUTH
PARK more...

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Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:27 | 1223804 Spastica Rex

3/10

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:08 | 1224308 Fish Gone Bad

That cartoon is probably one of the greatest compliments Apple could ever have. I am a bit jealous that South Park thought of it before me.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:33 | 1224831 pan-the-ist

Fuck that. Fuck Apple. Fuck Jobs and his cult of techno dweebs. Sorry about the potty mouth.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:32 | 1223807 Jack Mayoffer

Great way to open the new Southpark Season.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:14 | 1224113 chumbawamba

Why is this show still on the air? This is not even funny. SP lost its edge somewhere around season 7.

I am Chumbawamba.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 17:38 | 1224487 King_of_simpletons

Yep. Agree. WTF was that ?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:00 | 1224791 omi

This was the greatest episode!

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 17:02 | 1225955 Titus

I disagree. It's been getting better and better especially since season 10.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 19:43 | 1224620 D.M.

I love South Park, but that clip was fucking retarded.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 20:18 | 1224651 Squid-puppets a...

i suspect a lot of people are unaware of the reference - there was a horror movie that was actually just released where people were kidnapped and turned into a human centipede

i reckon its fair game to stitch that movie together with apple

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 01:08 | 1224994 johnnynaps

just showing how the corporate world can swindle its way into unethical maneuvers with its customers while attempting to show the darkside of technology!

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 08:45 | 1225246 jedimarkus

I am glad you brought up the horror movie reference as the majority of people who are offended by this episode do not know about the secondary parody (besides Apple) that South Park is dealing with.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:32 | 1223809 disabledvet

more "ergo" than evil it would appear.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:34 | 1223812 MsCreant

Yeah, Apple is NOT a stock.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:35 | 1223825 Texas Gunslinger

This video has nothing to do with Apple stock.

It is just pure evil.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:39 | 1223837 Dr. No

if you think it is evil cuz of the clip shown above, you should watch the whole episode and report back about how Dr Phil helps eric through his "mom" issue.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:52 | 1223871 MsCreant

And Apple is not?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:34 | 1223970 rocker

So Funny. Are You Lost. Don't have a IPhone. Buy one and find yourself.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 11:18 | 1225435 Andrew_Miller

stick your crapple cult where it belongs.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:30 | 1224339 Hephasteus

Did you hear the whole latest story.

People jail break the iphone and ios.

He goes to court and tries to get a ruling about it. Judge says no you can jailbreak these things.

People start digging around find the tracking routines.

They leak it.

He denies it.

Then people search up the patent he applied for and was granted to track people.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:58 | 1224350 Quixotic_Not

I'm sure the Facebook Twits would actually pay monthly to be tracked...

iStupid Syndrome™ 2011

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 17:37 | 1224484 Hephasteus

Ya but it's working against them. They just went on a huge ban fest. Banned a bunch of accounts for posting "copywrited" information. I think they finally figured out making a retard might be all fun and games but living with them afterwards is kind of a bitch.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 15:08 | 1225785 Reptil

Yes, Apple pretended to be on the "side" of the consumer, by offering a platform which was less easy to mess up, and more secure right out of the box. They fucked up. And deserve all the intestinal products that the Humancentipad can produce. Right in the mouth.

(typed on a Mac Pro)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/apr/20/iphone-tracking-prompts...

http://thenextweb.com/us/2011/04/20/us-police-can-copy-your-iphones-cont...

ANYONE ON A MAC OS MACHINE SHOULD LOOK AT LITTLESNITCH SOFTWARE!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:04 | 1223898 Bob

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_network

You get out what you put in.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:12 | 1223923 Wynn

isn't there a fire, or a drought, or a revival, you should be tending to?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:16 | 1224044 Uncle Remus

+rapture

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:45 | 1224080 ColonelCooper

He can't reply right now, he's swatting locusts.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:30 | 1224134 Flakmeister

Touche....

And somewhere else someone is locating twats...

The Zen of it all is overwhelming at times....

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:20 | 1224234 ZFiNX

Your kind ain't welcome here, Gunslinger...

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:16 | 1223924 DeadFred

Have you not watched Southpark before? You're surprised at the nature of what todays kids are bombarded with? You do have a big job cut out for you.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:36 | 1224146 velobabe

you know i have never watched south park, except for clips like this. i don't think it is all that funny, but i am old;-(

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:01 | 1224205 chumbawamba

It used to be funny. Now it's just swimming in its own wake. South Park is to funny what US T-bills are to investing...of a bygone era.

I am Chumbawamba.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:35 | 1224834 pan-the-ist

Why are you still posting faker?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:03 | 1224023 myshadow

My mother and brother with his family live in texas, otherwise,

It is just pure evil.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:42 | 1224074 ColonelCooper

@Texas Gunslinger:

You are by far the funniest troll here. Your over the top role playing makes my day. Please keep it up for a while. Keep in mind however, you're going to need some new material. Creative trolling requires that your schtick continues to get farther and farther "out there" to remain entertaining. You have begun on such an outrageous path that I can't wait to see where it goes from here.... If you're any good. I think you are.

Ned Flanders with attitude. You're the fucking best, TG.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:07 | 1224106 mick_richfield

Please keep it up for a while...

But ... try to sort of subtly ask around the office about what ever happened to Johnny Bravo.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:23 | 1224123 55 men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q05p-5TWcj8

This scene from Planes Trains and Automobiles pretty much sums it up for Texas Gunslinger

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:44 | 1224268 The Axe

I think ZH should have made us all stand in line for 2 hours for the right to watch this video....lol

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:57 | 1224282 PenGun

You need to watch the ending. You will feel much better.

Pure genius.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:59 | 1223891 Pladizow

What will the line outside of an apple store "look like" for this product?

Particularly disgusting on Lincoln Road, South Beach!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:09 | 1223909 Temporalist

That is BS I've seen people on South Beach doing that years ago.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:15 | 1223922 kujo

What?? Weirdest troll ever.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:50 | 1223996 AmazingLarry

It's funnay, mmmkkay.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:32 | 1224143 Badabing

I always post on ZH with my iphone through my anis.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:43 | 1224161 Byte Me

What do you recommend if I already watched the whole episode?

Devaluation?

Trepanning?

Watching you take a one spot dirt-nap?

Go jump into the Io flux tube (if you examine my avatar closely...)

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:35 | 1224342 Montgomery Burns

Wait until you see Adventuretime with Finn And Jake

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:27 | 1223803 Spastica Rex

I wonder how many people saw "The Human Centipede?" Really stupid movie.

Love Southpark!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:52 | 1224002 Temporalist

Coming from someone with some seemingly high intellect, you do watch SP after all, I'm a bit surprised that before you saw that movie you thought it'd be a good idea to watch it.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:30 | 1223808 Argos

Over the top, as usual for South Park.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:34 | 1223813 Almost Solvent

Tastes like happy

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:37 | 1223822 Dr. No

I admit I have been away from SP for a few years, but happened to be watching comedy central a couple days back and cought this episode. I was both shocked and laughed my @ss off. I walked away feeling good that the FCC still allows shows like this. I was kind of disappointed when they didnt air the muhammad episode out of fear.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:08 | 1223906 Money_for_Nothing

FCC doesn't have jurisdiction but is trying to get it so they can shut down zerohedge. :-)

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:48 | 1223835 Zero Govt

not a reflection on Apple, still cool, though South Park is looking long in the tooth and short on good material

amazing Apple results recently while Google looks to be shooting itself in the foot on costs. Strangely CNBC wheeled out probably the only hired crone they could find in the Western world with something bad to say about their stellar performance. Yes he dissed Apple "always beats projections" (a terrible 'crime' on CNBC worth some Crony Time)

That's the only vacuous fluff the establishment (Google and Microsoft no doubt) could throw to try and muddy another ballistic perfect Apple performance.

Presumably they're now using pure fantasy South Park cartoons to fabricate some shit to throw at Jobs and Apple because the reality is they're faultless to date (like their software eh Microshite?).... the establishment are fuking desperate

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:52 | 1223864 MsCreant

I've decided to start some crap with you not to be a troll, but because I see a glaring inconsistency here. I see your avatar, your screen name, and I don't expect a post like this from you. Are you "Zero Govt." because you love big assed, colonizing, totalizing, corporations and you would like to see them all do whatever the fuck they want to whoever the fuck they want, all while pretending to be "the good guys?" What does this stock really cost?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:05 | 1223896 Zero Govt

i'm not against big corporations per se, just monopolies of any commercial enterprise be it big or small. Apple has come from behind and trounced Gates' Microshite, flogged Nokia and will likely leave Google in the dust too (although Goo are doing a good job of doing themselves in)

But I'm with you on Jobs control freak reems of legalistic red tape. I refuse to download many updates like iTunes etc because of it. Apple are protecting their business model which they are perfectly entitled to do but it won't work of course, the iTunes model is dying

So regards "do what the fuck they want" yes they can. Our power as consumers is to say "Up Yours" and walk to a competitor. The best protection for consumers from cartels ike Big Oil/Big Govt is the free (competitive) market... you can't individually change a companies policies afterall, the market does

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:06 | 1223908 Spastica Rex

Sounds to me like you're too willing to trade one master for another.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:14 | 1223921 Zero Govt

not at all ...we're not picking 'Masters' (CEO's) we're picking the best product my having left Microshite the biggest global software monopoly and racket in computer history... i'm very happy Jobs has got revenge (on my behalf) and rubbed Gates & Bulmers noses in the dirt ...if a better product comes along Jobs is history too.. you take your best option you can at any time. Right now Apple is way ahead so i hope Jobs doesn't mis-use its position otherwise there's Linux!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:17 | 1223927 Spastica Rex

if a better product comes along Jobs is history too.

Really? Are you sure? Has that been the way it's always worked? I thought that's why we have marketing.

I don't use Windows.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:31 | 1223950 Zero Govt

after 20 years suffering the sack of garbage that is Microshite Windows really Apple has been nothing but a delight and a pleasure (apart from transfering iTunes music you pay for)

I understand the disturbing privacy issues but that's everywhere. Look at the RIM issue. It's a sign of these fascist (Big Corp/Govt) times and that's the politics our society and enterprises have to operate in ...blame Govt, the No.1 ratchet for this corruption.. bin Govt and the free market operates and we will soon naturally select the best corporations. With Govt here they will continue their corrupt parasite/cartel ways to snoop and abuse our liberty ...Govt is the problem

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:39 | 1223975 Spastica Rex

I understand the disturbing privacy issues but that's everywhere.

No, it's not. I'm Anonymous, you're anonymous.

The corporate govt NEXUS is the problem. I'm 45 years old and I've never been priviledged to live in a time when I was under just one thumb.

bin Govt and the free market operates and we will soon naturally select the best corporations.

I can haz no master?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:58 | 1224016 Zero Govt

people can make all sorts of moves to avoid the Govt abuse ...why put your life on a laptop or iPhone ...get a diary or something. Regards tracking it's not where you are that matters but what you're thinking and there's nowt Govt can do about it (look how incompetent they are on drugs, counterfeit gear, catching terrorists etc etc). The public sector are a bunch of clowns, surprised they can find their way to work in the morning... probably why they put the President in the White House so he couldn't lose his way to the office!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:44 | 1224844 pan-the-ist

Regards the government and corporations, lets take a wait and see approach. I think we'll find that the government is a blunt tool employed by it's corporate masters.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 09:56 | 1229212 Titus

you, zero govt, are a fucking moron. Corporations are government, they feed it with their tax dollars, they buy the politicians. GS was the leading contributor to Obama's campaign. It's not that any sector is a bunch of clowns, it's that they appear to be a bunch of clowns while you continually give up freedom after freedom because you rationalize it.

If it doesn't matter where you are care to put out your home address here?

Douchebag.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 19:34 | 1224607 In Fed We Trust

I still want to believe that Steve Jobs is a peoples man. Bill gates not so much.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:32 | 1223964 Temporalist

Zero Govt. has defended Apple on multiple threads so is either an employee or just another Apple zombie looking for brains.

And Zero Govt. I read most of your posts and usually like what you say but you are clearly taken by Apple.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:53 | 1224001 Zero Govt

Temporalis - no connection to Apple whatsoever. Just like them after 20 years of shit from Microshit and my fiancee loves them too. I'm just a consumer of their products until the next 'Hot Thing' comes along as it surely will.

Had a go at Reggie for his Apple short just coz I think he's wrong not choosing the more troublesome and just as intrusive Googgle. No conspiracy, just for fun ;)

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:54 | 1224006 taraxias

fanboy, or I suspect even worse a paid fanboy

just skip his posts, I don't know why you guys keep arguing with someone with an obvious agenda

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:01 | 1224019 Spastica Rex

Maybe time to get back to real life. Sunny outside where I am.

Thanks, T!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:56 | 1224095 subqtaneous

Now, now...you needn't be an employee, or a paid shill to have this kind of devotion to Apple, as anyone who's worked in the graphics business, in one form or another, for the past 20 years will likely attest that their products have made our professional lives unquestionably and increasingly more proficient for quite a few years. The lustre has worn thin, though, and I agree that Apple is now dying a slow death by a thousand cuts; I suppose witnessing a perfect metaphor for the same entropy which seems to be picking up steam everywhere now.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 19:45 | 1224622 In Fed We Trust

Its like this in a nutshell. Apple has put the computer into your hand. The end is near for the desktop PC. Apple is what MS was to IBM in the 80's.

Bill Gates knows all this, but dosn't really care because he has 250 satelittes orbiting the earth 20 years ago. But his newest pet project is shortening the life span of humans under the guise of saving children. Vacines and guiest appeareances with Bono have made gates pretty popular.

Especially with the rich. They like his depopulation programs so much that many have vowed to donate their estates to charity, that also deal in population control/abatement.

My eyes were om Gates when he stole the Windows technology from Jobs.

Then he had a falling out with best friend / partner Paul Allen, Would l.ove to hear from Paul Allen about GAtes.

If ther is one personality taht fits the description of ther antochrist, it is Gates.

As soon as Jobs passes on, I am afraid that Apple has already been consumed by forces of evil. Its just a matter of time.

Thats why I have one , but dont have servie for it. Just in case.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 11:37 | 1225458 DraginDickHedge

The satellite project didn't 'get off the ground'. It went bankrupt. However, you are correct in bringing up the attempt, as it would be truly scary had that project suceeded. And call me loopy, but I wonder what else is in these vaccines?! "Here this is good for you but it will also sterilize you and shorten your life span...(or worse)...oh, and we can track you now". too.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:09 | 1224803 WallStreetClass...

I sorta see the same

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:04 | 1224797 WallStreetClass...

You are wrong on both Apple and Google. Collars? Lol

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:18 | 1223932 Catullus

Is everything in your life a black and white dichotomy where only one possible outcome to complex societal structures could possibly result from any given change? It's only between big assed, oppressive, murdering, thieving government and big assed, oppressive, murdering, thieving corporations? Is there no other possible outcome? I wonder what happened before we had either one them. I guess history started when both were created. The end.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:46 | 1223991 Zero Govt

Catullus "..only one possible outcome to complex societal structures.."

there's no such thing as a "complex societal structure" that's an academic fantasy you've swallowed like the equally delusional fabrication of the "average man" or the political fabrication of Govt itself and countries/national borders. All false (fabricated) Gods.

We are individuals, that is our 'world', how we experience the world and how we behave in it. There is no 'collective', no nation, no national US policy on Thailand. All fantasies.

maybe you can find the US Govts policy on Thailand? Now ask 100 Ameiricans and you'll get 100 different answers. The last policy made by Obumma or Hilary Clinton I'll bet 98% of all Govt workers don't even know about let alone follow.

So my understanding of the planet is based on my best interests being served. And that is having free markets operate without cartels and monopolists and their protection racket, Govt. Simple. Not complex.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:59 | 1224017 Catullus

Ah yes. Individuals don't engage in exchange between other individuals other than random, one-off exchanges with no pattern or rules or expectation of ever happening again. And because these are only one-off exchanges and completely random, obviously these individuals learn nothing from each other, they share no expectations, and they don't even begin to think of themselves along chain a production or interaction with other individuals.

Check yourself chief, a societal structure doesn't mean collective. Individuals can act independently within a societal structure based on voluntary interaction.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:11 | 1224038 Zero Govt

Catullus

we 'herd' or 'pack' like the social animals we are. We go to the farmers market or shopping mall, join supporters en masse to football games etc. We herd with other individuals with shared interests at specific times then seperate again back to our individual lifestyles.

That does not make us a "society". Just as nobody is the "average man". Neither exists.

I'm a Brit living in Spain. There's Brits living in Thailand, America, Australia. Some may go to the local British Pub on a Sunday for a chat to fellow Brits but at no point can some academic or Govt nob-end put a label on being British and say we love the Pub because many do not.

The collective (society) and all its labels does not exist.

And that's how issues are simple not complex. Because the world is a personal, individual, experience not a collective experience. Collective political policies are not worth the paper they're written on as is 99% of academic writings and nonsense like attempts to control population, control markets with some dumb one-size-fits-all policy and indeed the biggest fabricated fantasy construct, the sham that is Government

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:22 | 1224049 Catullus

Talk past me some more and respond to things I don't write and assume things I did not suggest. It makes for interesting dialogue.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/rothbard/rothbard133.html

I'll let rothbard do the heavy lifting.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:26 | 1224335 topcallingtroll

Fucking lightweight

Hayek is superman.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 21:28 | 1224693 Zero Govt

Catullus

read the first and last sections of your Rothbard link and it seems fine, especially the use of 'monopoly' as a way of defining what the State is. My only initial criticism is Rothbard proposes a new law system, which is the same mistake as the Tea Party is making.

Namely the problem with the State and the Judiciary is that it is a monopoly (of authority). Making Govt or Laws smaller or simplifying/clarifying them doesn't change the problem, just changes the size of the problem

Second mistake is she has taken on the liberal thinking role (ie. 'I think I'm God') that she can make law for other people. This is the same mistake as any political policy, it is a 1 solution, one-size (law) fits-all policy/law. Freedom means we abide by our own rules, not someone elses handed to us with a wagging finger.

Govt treats individuals as a mass to be standardised. Rothbard is doing the same thing thinking she can lay down 1 law for millions of individuals. I think a million people can make their own minds up in a million different ways. They are afterall, like Rothbard, adults

A free society like a free market and nature is a individually adjusting, self regulating, self sufficient mechanism. It does not need a central authority structure, a monopoly on decision making, to sort disputes out, posses property or transfer it, or to divorce, conduct trade locally or internationally

Society will come up with its own individual (as apposed monopolised for the masses) solutions, it always does

The furthest we need to think is how we get the political and societal parasites out of our pockets (ie. end taxation and the 'right' of criminals to steal our income). It's very simple (!) to kill Govt, refuse to feed it with our wealth... after that a free society will come to pass with all the solutions required, including probably many varied solutions to the bloated, costly, twisted clown show that is the law/judiciary

...just let the free market/society work its creative wonders

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 23:45 | 1224921 StychoKiller

I guess you know about: http://pixel420.com/pixel420/stateless/

If not, enjoy!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:46 | 1223992 stirners_ghost

Critical distinction: Apple asks for your money; the gov't just takes it.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:56 | 1224010 Spastica Rex

Trivial Distinction

Deception and force are both coercion.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:25 | 1224328 topcallingtroll

All praise to bob and the subgenii.

His truth shall prevail, and bring you slack.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:16 | 1224116 Ned Zeppelin

Personal opinion, swimming against the tide: I think Apple sucks for a lot of reasons. Their computers cost way too much, and you have to jump through hoops to use them for MS based programs at work, so why bother. The original iPods screens scatched like nobody's business, and Apple said, in effect, tough shit. I'm tired of iTunes ecosystem - there are tons of issues there that no one talks about. The iPhone is a pretty toy, but not ideal for business at all - too slippery, hard to type on the screen, easy to accidentally send a half-finished email or answer a call you don't want to take, needs a case - why not build a phone that has a case as an integral part of it - no Flashplayer, no compatability with Media Player, etc. etc. And who in the real world needs all those ridiculous apps - are we all so bored and loaded with free time that we need to fool around with some tiny little screen games? Crazy. FAO Schwartz of adult toys and I predict they will not be a factor at some point due to their lack, yes, lack of real innovation. With the iPad, they have shot their wad and there won't be anything but continual refinements of an existing product line.

we need an alternative to iTunes for sure - overpriced TV shows and music download that have inferior sound quality.

Put me in at RIM and I'll blow Apple away in a few months.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:48 | 1224179 velobabe

me too, ned. i just hate hate hate hate hate hate hate itunes. we are not free when using itunes. i don't even want to buy any music any more, and i live on music. what is a girl to do?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:23 | 1224324 topcallingtroll

More doobage.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 08:25 | 1225228 Thee Barbarous Relic

Buy records they really sound better and are a much more social and fun way to hear music.

I also use Itunes although I have never downloaded music,thats what happens when you have 2000+ cds and 3000+ lps and 1000+ 45s. I do find it easy to navigate and it's also great for radio programs.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 16:52 | 1224425 Hacksaw

Come on, can anyone honestly argue that Apple has become anything other than a PR, retail, and R&D front organization for the PROC?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 22:13 | 1224808 WallStreetClass...

Right on with Apple experience! Watch Adobe, they've cornered a sweet market...

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:42 | 1223841 Sluggo91

Make sure to read your terms and conditions!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:47 | 1223852 tamboo

still no usb or flash.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 15:18 | 1225794 Reptil

check out the "Camera Connection Kit". Use it (plus the iPad) in a professional environment. It works....

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:00 | 1223886 JW n FL

Long Live iPhone Tracking, even while the phone is turned off!

Long Live iPad Tracking, even while the Pad is turned off!

Long Live storing every detailed movement YOU! make to better target your consumer needs before you even realize you have a consumer need!

Upgrading iTunes can be a serious Hazard to YOUR! Privacy!

No worries, the F.B.I. doesnt need a Warrant! and the FED's got the idea from the Private Sector! becuase we are all tagged cattle! by our PDA's!

Long Live America!

With all of the manufacturing jobs moved OffShore! with a Tax Break! the IRS has been ordered to give benefits to those who would erode the Tax Base!

With NO! Privacy!

and 3rd World features! like living in a Police State!

America the beautiful has been stripped and raped repeatedly by the Corporate-Lobby-Whores!

iPhones! made in China!

iPads! made in China!

Jobs moved to China! for a tax break and wage arbitrage! bring on the Oil squeeze! bring those jobs back home! we have empty factories!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:15 | 1223929 topcallingtroll

Remove battery to operate in stealth mode.

Better yet purchase a cell phone with a cash prepaid credit card.

Buy a used ipad for cash and only log on to free wifi.
Be careful never to reveal any personally identiable information..
Surf freely without worry.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:47 | 1223993 rocker

I Nothing. That's what I own of Job's overpriced garbage. MP players werk well. Don't break every six months either.

But I like the way you think about the batteries and using a used I pad for free wifi. Really Cool thought.

Did anybody ever think that in the future if not now, that they could listen at their demand.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:18 | 1224042 Bob

1984 was apparently an instruction manual. But the cool factor is pure Brave New World. What an ugly combination that is.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:06 | 1224213 Gold 36000

Except at least in Brave New World there was lots of sex and some cool drugs.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:22 | 1224231 Pool Shark

While we fear Orwell's future, we have become Huxley's Brave New World:

http://www.acceleratingfuture.com/michael/blog/images/Amusing-Ourselves-To-Death.jpg

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:02 | 1224295 Flakmeister

Excellent link.... bookmarked it...

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 15:18 | 1224317 topcallingtroll

Death....by boolah boolah.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 17:56 | 1224508 anvILL

I think it was at The Big Picture....I remember someone pointing out something like, the current U.S. is the best of both worlds, with the fear from the Bush-era war against terror and hopium addiction from Obama.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 11:44 | 1225492 DraginDickHedge

+5. Exactly, Pool Shark. Orwell was almost spot on in estimating 1984...the "dark powers that be [DPTB]" and the sheeple's quiet acceptance in order to get more stuff on credit or whatever realized Orwell's dystopia years ago. All is so surreal we have even gone a bit beyond Huxley's distopian vision now.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:49 | 1223994 Abitdodgie

But you are missing the point if anything happens to you the Government can come and help you immediately cos they know where you are , think of the children , you know if we just had a RFID chip it would be a lot easier for the Government to look after us . mmmmm a warm fuzzy safe feeling

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:59 | 1224013 Temporalist

That warm fuzzy feeling is ambient radiation...or you have a squirrel climbing your leg.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:26 | 1224051 Uncle Remus

Happiness is a warm gun.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:22 | 1223931 Bob

http://nader.org/index.php?/archives/2261-Stripmining-America-Unpatrioti...

Apple sure makes the prettiest little gizmos, though. Using one is like getting a blow job from a super model while you sleep.

Of course, the real, i.e., fundamental problem with all this--and I do mean all--is the Corporate Person. Have you seen this movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxAJ4g84xzE ?

Far more substantial than Inside Job . . . with Hollywood level production values. Best documentary I've ever seen. And the link gives it to you in excellent definition.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:02 | 1223900 MGA_1

Thaaatttt was over the top.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:06 | 1223903 Bokkenrijder

This one is better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrczaWYzjO4&feature=player_embedded

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:10 | 1223912 Two Towers AU AG

Just read.. the EYEphone agreement also allows Steve boobs to tracks our silvherrrrrr the evil banksters seem to be plotting against our silverrrrr.....

Helpppppppp I dont want to be turned into a human centipede......

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:07 | 1223914 andilinks

Being "cool" causes some serious problems down the road, no matter how cool. The cool is at war with the uncool and one of these will die. There is a social awareness pendulum, it does swing, and when it reaches its high point to one side as is happening now a lot of people are confused that what was once cool isn't. Either you get it, you don't or you will.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:44 | 1223987 Gold 36000

Most get it after the fact and are merely trend followers. The truly cool are the trendsetters. Iphone is now officially uncool. Most people just haven't noticed yet. It has been uncool and faggy for a while. Blackberry is grandpaws device so it can never be cool even though it is good enough to scare governments around the world. Android is the dorky cousin. It will never be cool but it is mostly a low cost reliable solution. Cool is now gone from the device world. We are now back to using them as tools and internet masturbation devices.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:12 | 1224033 Temporalist

You both are over thinking this. Uncool becomes cool again to those who hate the new cool. Have you not noticed that hipsters are just 80s wannabes with a mix of 60s horn rimmed glasses.

What is cool is in the eye of the beer holder. Did anyone ever think to themselves that New Jersey would be considered cool? Well it happened and now a bunch of fuckwad braindead goombahs and their puttanas are millionaires spending all their money on hair gel and tanning sessions!!!! And incidentally they're not even from Jersey!!!

What people think is cool...usually isn't.

People that chase cool will never be in the lead so you might as well just care what's cool for you...like me wearing tinfoil hats.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:41 | 1224164 dark pools of soros

what's cool is whatever gets you laid

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:06 | 1224208 Gold 36000

Now that is way cool

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:16 | 1223926 Bodhi

Awesome. I can't watch this video on my iPad.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:13 | 1224036 Temporalist

Best comment here.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:17 | 1223930 Hero Protagonist

They took it way to easy on Jobs...never seen those guys flinch, but they did.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:21 | 1223937 firstdivision

That episode is one of the best in recent memory. The whole episode is worth watching.
Cuttlefish and asparagus, or vanilla paste?

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:29 | 1223951 BobPaulson

Hilarious. Reminds me of the reburger:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkTG6sGX-Ic

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:37 | 1223976 Thanatos

macfag

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:40 | 1223979 scratch_and_sniff

Keep it coming, all this nonsense has to stop one way or another. Just seen a microsoft droid speaking on BBC Click this morning gurning on about a camera that takes images panorama stylee. He states, in the demented tones of sincerity only a truly under-stressed head-fucking moron could muster; "now YOU can SHOW.THE.WORLD.YOUR.SURRONDINGS.LIKE.NEVER.BEFORE.WITH.BING(while taking an image of his uber-modern work prison)" Please, when the world needs to see a panorama of my surroundings its curtains for said world. Enthusiasm gets on my tits at the best of times, but to be enthusiastic, black & white slow motion style, about a stupid camera must indicate that we have come to the end of our pointless, thumb twiddling, vacant little adventure into mediocrity-MUSTN’T IT? NO? ARGHHHHH.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 11:53 | 1224000 Moe Howard

+exactly

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 17:10 | 1224443 Hacksaw

You just don't get it. It's all about the narcissistic, " it's all about me" bunch. Of course we all want to see their muffin tops, see all their fat hang out of their speedo, care what they think about every little thing, and want to see a panoramic picture of where they take a crap. This has to be true you see because they are special. They know that because they've been told that since the day they were born.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 12:41 | 1224071 Segestan

Sick.... can't wait for the SS.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 13:20 | 1224121 Dejean Splicer

Funniest thing on ZH yet!

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:02 | 1224202 ebworthen

Just think, .gov will only have to control the eating habits and do drug screening of one out of every three people.

Imagine what this will do for public transportation and sanitation - not to mention SS and Medicare.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:29 | 1224246 Dejean Splicer

Wait until there is a discovery that your blood work was processed by a company that has dual functions including a DNA Forecasting Lab, able to detect your specific actuarial profile. And this was done at the request of your insurance agency.

Universal hope and change.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 17:54 | 1224507 ebworthen

No doubt.

I wonder when the "putting Mom/Dad to sleep" ceremonies for the good of the proletariat will become vogue.

Promise the young a cut of the obsolesced senior citizen's pension/retirement plus ownership of remaining assets and it will make the Hitler youth turning in their own parents look tame by comparison.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 18:36 | 1224551 Gold 36000

Promising the youth a cut of their pension? Do you mean the pension that the young people are paying for out of current taxes and their future earnings? You sound like you think the young people aren't already paying for, and will continue to pay for, the health care and retirement of the boomers. I think the youth are merely asking for some fairness and that old people not continue to expect excessive taxes be extracted from young people to fund boomer health care and retirement.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 21:58 | 1224784 ebworthen

See? It's working already...

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 12:01 | 1225520 DraginDickHedge

Yes, you see it coming, too, eb! Death panel ethic specialists at Yale, Too Sick to Save [TSTS] parameters for all to follow...SOILENT GREEN ~ out of the question? One has to wonder if time travelers whispered in some sci-fi authors' ear. The powers that run The Tomorrow File [TTF], who force inventions and other unapproved idea-think in dark The Public Can't Handle it Now [TPCHIN] files (another Sci-Fi book). Did someone invent car motors that could go 100 miles per gallon years ago (OPEC and Evil Oil Dastards said NO) ... on the other hand, TTF powers conted: look how the birth control pill changed everything...it should have gone in the TTF...or did the pill help thier agenda? Perhaps I should change my avatar to Loopy or something, but I have been watching and ponderting TTF for years.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 15:10 | 1225783 ebworthen

I hear you, not loopy at all.

Each generation thinks "it is different this time".

One needs only to look to history to see the horrors some have had to endure, and you only need to look back one generation.

The Holocaust and Hitler (6 million), the Killing Fields of Cambodia (6 million), the pogroms of Stalin (12 million) and of Mao in China (? million) - these all in the past 70 years, one lifetime, and over 20 million murdered men, women, and children.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:12 | 1224220 oddjob

Aw, hamburgers.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:17 | 1224228 velobabe

i hate a p p l e, but i like to eat pink lady apples.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 23:58 | 1224937 StychoKiller

I like to eat pink ladies too (of course, they're all pink on the inside...)

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 06:40 | 1225167 turds in the pu...

not true. some are purple.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:23 | 1224229 likesfood

So true, so true... Apple "makes" you to share all of your sh*t with next person who in turn shares all that sh*t with the next, etc, etc etc.... Hilarious If you ask me. Your self-important "sh*t" is just that... so diabolical, i love it.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:44 | 1224269 ivana

Great great ... will change my nic to: Van Anal

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:48 | 1224274 cdskiller

Come on. The episode was genius. SP didn't hack Apple's coolness away. It simply reflected back truths that had already been established but not acknowledged. Just as it did with Scientology. Just as it did with Facebook. Just as it always does with everything. Putting Cartman in the role of the desperate, soulless, id-driven Apple consumer was perfection. Apple lost its coolness when it chose to become, above all else, a cult. They courted cult status. Cults, especially expensive ones, like Scientology or Apple, relinquish coolness for the sake of mind-control. Apple is like the second $50,000 hybrid Mercedes SUV in the Greenwich garage of a hedge fund manager who still pretends to be a democrat.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 16:22 | 1224407 Hot Cumontitties

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/the-human-centipede/trailer

This is actually from this movie. I saw it a while back...

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 16:41 | 1224418 YC2

I consider myself to have a sick mind, but when I heard this movies plot I was disgusted even as impressed as I was with the writers ability to disgust me.

The girls in the film arent bad looking though. Almost gives you the 2 girls, 1 cup effect.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 19:25 | 1224591 Forgiven

The worse part is, somewhere there is a person who actually conceived this movie's plot.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 16:38 | 1224415 YC2

As much as I love South Park's continued frank irreverence toward anything and anyone, I really think the HUman Centipede movie did not need to be thrust any more into the public's consciousness. It has put the most disturbing thoughts in my head since I heard the plot and really need them to invent a pill to un-think all those thoughts. Bleck.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 18:57 | 1224569 Andrew G

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0piFZXT8Zxo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory

South Park is virtually the only true American satire. And it's still funny too, unless you're a cockwit.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 20:13 | 1224646 topcallingtroll

The simpsons was the greatest.

Until they caused an international incident with the brazil episode and had to tone it down.

They were never quite as good after that.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 21:00 | 1224710 jimijon

Man I would never have thought there were so many obsessed anti-Apple people here. I am currently in NY attending a great hackathon for all things mobile. Then even had nice statistics showing the different usage patterns of Apple and Android. There were even some coming along nicely, write once deploy everywhere tools.

All in all a great learning experience.

But my point is simple. Apple was the one to create a revolution by putting the computer in your hand and now everyone is mimicking it in a creative echo.

That is what genius is about. Creating the trends that create all the creative echoes.

Meanwhile, all the products work great. Are definitely not overpriced and are rock solid. I am typing this on a five year MacBookPro that has been dropped numerous times.

Meanwhile, the apps are exploding in all forms and in all iOS. Developers everywhere, despite their own bias, are deep down very happy with Apple to allow for a fertile capitalist field for which to grow wealth, jobs, and new perspectives.

Cheers... oh and lay off Tex. Pray out loud to whatever god you believe for thirty days straight. Then come back and tell me how you are feeling and doing.

Oh, and this particular skit wasn't funny at all.

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 23:45 | 1224920 nah