You're now on the archive server. Commenting has been disabled.

Dear mr. Ex-KGB

Vitaliy Katsenelson's picture




I wrote this ten months ago, but given how much response I received about the article where I drew parallels between Michael Moore's "documentary" and Russian propaganda, I thought this article would make a nice weekend read. 

I received so many emails about the WSJ front page article in which the Russian expert, a professor and ex-KGB agent predicts that the US will falter and be split up into five zones (here is a link to the original article and here is a link to his video interview) and each zone will be controlled by another country like China, Canada, Mexico, and EU. Alaska would go to its rightful (more like wishful) owner Russia. You get the gist. I could not contain myself, I had to respond with a letter to Mr. Ex-KBG.

 

Russia: "primitive resource-based economy, systemic corruption, lack of pluralistic democracy"
Russia's President Medvedev

Dear Mr. Ex-KGB,

Desperate times call for desperate measures. No kidding. I understand why you took the collapse of the Soviet Union model added some wishful thinking and applied it to the United States.

The Great U.S. of A is not the Soviet Union, this analogy doesn’t work on this country. The Soviet Union was a collection of loosely assembled countries that shared little in common except … well, actually with the exception of common borders I cannot think of a single thing that united them. Flag? Hymn? No, they were quick to disembark from the Soviet Union, turn the red flag into a doormat and erase the lyrics of the Soviet hymn from their memory.

Ukrainians, Belorussians, and Russians had something in common, but Georgians, Armenians, Tajikistanis, and Uzbekistanis were always looked at by Russians as secondhand citizens. Estonians disliked Russia, but don’t blame them, they did not join the Soviet Union voluntarily. The former soviet republics were happy to return to the pre-Soviet Union state.

Unlike the Soviet Union, in the U.S. we share similar values, goals and traditions that developed over more than two hundred years. Geographic state borders have little significance with the exception that in some states you are allowed to carry a concealed weapon; in some, until recently, you could not buy alcohol on Sunday. That is just plain wrong, but I still remained in Colorado and did not announce my allegiance to the California Republic as you would call it. In some states food is very spicy — and that is alright. In some gambling and prostitution are legal — and this is alright too. America is a melting pot. Sure we make fun of the New Yorkers’ fast talk or the Texan’s drawl. But tolerant we are.

Due to the ease of mobility of employment, we constantly migrate from state to state, thus our geographic loyalties don’t go further than our Alma Matter’s football team. Our geographic preference of habitation is a function of climate, employment, proximity of mother-in-law — it has to be at least two hours away, by a very fast plane if possible — and pure randomness. We have no allegiance to a specific state — we are citizens of the United States. Culture doesn’t divide us, like it did the Soviet Union, it unites us.

You discuss the return of Russian dominance. I don’t know anyone who takes it seriously, except Russia, of course. Russia’s recent dominance is a blip in time (sorry). Unlike the U.S., Russia has a very narrow economy that has mostly been driven by natural resources and was brought to life, for a short moment, by a global commodity bubble. If Russia did not have nuclear weapons and a large army, we’d spend as much time talking about it as an election in Mozambique.

Take high commodity prices away and you find … well, Russia today: limited property rights, corruption, bribery, semi-dictatorship, and government control of the press. Newspapers and television are controlled by the government, journalists are dropping like flies.

No, Russia is not the United States. The United States has its problems, but these problems are not structural and time will heal them. Despite all of our problems, the U.S. is still the best economic and most stable political system, period. We have peacefully elected our president every four years for over two centuries. I bet you if every country in the world opened its borders to unlimited migrations in and out, you’d find the U.S. population balloon and Russia’s shrink. People from all over the world want to live here.

Dear Mr. Ex-KGB, the Russian economy is crumbling. To divert attention from the internal problems (and more importantly from him) Mr. Putin is redirecting attention onto the “evil” United States. After all, we created the global economic crisis, sabotaged the oil market, and whatever else is wrong taking place in the world, we must have had a hand in it. Now it is even a common belief in Russia that the CIA was responsible for the September 11th attacks.

Anti-Americanism is on the rise in Russia. You made an America-fall-apart prediction public almost ten years ago, but it was only recently picked up by Russian (predominantly government-owned) media. You are a superstar in Russia — you get two interviews a day. Unfortunately predictions that would have been taken as lunacy by most Russians in the past are now turned into wishful thinking. And wishful thinking has disappointed the Russian public since forever.

Sincerely,

Vitaliy Katsenelson

Central North-American Republic, formerly known as Colorado

Note: Here is a link to read the story of my childhood in Murmansk, Russia and emigration to the US.




Similar Articles You Might Enjoy:

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Sun, 10/11/2009 - 00:11 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 23:40 | Link to Comment Cap
Cap's picture

Whats with the anti-semitic anti-Israeli crazy dude posting as Anonymous.

 

Nutty bro, just nutty !

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 00:01 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

i am anti-Israeli ( actions, not the state or the people ) ( better to say anti-Zionist ); does that make me anti-semitic. Go read a book and stop spewing garbage. 

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 20:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 20:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:23 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:15 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:03 | Link to Comment Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"If Russia did not have nuclear weapons and a large army, we’d spend as much time talking about it as an election in Mozambique."

But they have huge reserves of something the US needs very badly, oil and natural gas.  We'll be kissing their asses in a few years.

"The United States has its problems, but these problems are not structural and time will heal them."

Do you actually read any of the columns on this site?

"We have peacefully elected our president every four years for over two centuries."

And the same people own each one.  Hint: "we" aren't those people.

"limited property rights, corruption, bribery, semi-dictatorship, and government control of the press. Newspapers and television are controlled by the government, journalists are dropping like flies."

We have the same here to a lesser extent and it's accomplished in far more subtle ways.  For instance, here journalist careers are at risk if they buck the system, not their lives.  Thus, the mainstream media becomes a government spokesman and corporate news more entertainment than news in order to attain a greater market share which they get by telling people what they _want_ to hear.

 

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:08 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 22:09 | Link to Comment DrPsycho
DrPsycho's picture

Yep, the only people equating losing jobs to losing their  life are those who have never been threatened with the latter.........

 

I do think GG should man up and move out of the country to expunge some of the bitterness of unemployment.

 

Really you know, you can get work if you really try........

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 17:36 | Link to Comment ConfederateH
ConfederateH's picture

Well said!  Krauthammer has a long but great piece titled "decline is a choice" that presents the choices facing the US very well.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000\000\017\056lfnpr.asp?pg=1

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:00 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:53 | Link to Comment Gordon_Gekko
Gordon_Gekko's picture

"...the level of gay right and women's rights we have here."

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! BTW Vitaly, it doesn't do your argument much good to be posting comments in your favor as Anonymous. 

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 12:54 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 09:55 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 09:25 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 05:28 | Link to Comment blueskyscottsdale
blueskyscottsdale's picture

Funny how even now in America's struggles, the US receives the highest amount of Foreign Direct Investment in the world (18.6%). France is 2nd with 6.9% and China is 3rd with 6.4%. Funny how the world still wants to invest here. Russia is mired in corruption that puts it in competition with Nigeria and Bulgaria for most corrupt country in the world. I also find it interesting how the Russian oligarchs who plundered Russia all are running to the safety of Switzerland, London and the south of France to hide their stolen wealth. It seems if you are rich in Russia, the first thing to do is to move to London and buy a $50m townhouse. Then enroll your kids in the best private schools in London and bribe your way into society to "cleanse" your robber baron reputation. Not a great endorsement of Russia is it?

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 08:38 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 16:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 00:07 | Link to Comment Dr Horace Manure
Dr Horace Manure's picture

Twas brillig, and the slithey toves did gire and gimble in the wabe.

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 02:31 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 02:23 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 22:04 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 21:08 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Zatkiniz Kalhoznik Gavnusko!!!

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 20:43 | Link to Comment BM (not verified)
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 19:40 | Link to Comment spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Well done Mr. K.

 

"MARK IT ZERO, DUDE"

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 19:11 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 18:49 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 18:49 | Link to Comment Stevm30
Stevm30's picture

Good article thanks for posting.

I agree with pretty much everything you said about the US except...

The United States has its problems, but these problems are not structural and time will heal them.

Not so sure about that one...

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 18:32 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

anti-americanism is on the rise not just in russia, but in most of the world. also, awesome pictures GG; and IMHO, the most stable country in the world is Switzerland, than Norway, then Finland.

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 20:12 | Link to Comment RagnarDanneskjold
RagnarDanneskjold's picture

Minnesota is stable too. Same people.

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 19:44 | Link to Comment spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Bullshit. The world loves America now that BORACK O's been elected. He has a peace prize to prove it. They give those away in Europe you know. So the shit is legit.

 

"MARK IT ZERO, DUDE"

 

 

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 19:49 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

HAHAHAHAHAHAH; you're awesome ...

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 18:59 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 10/10/2009 - 03:32 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

WOW !! you should really pick up a book; because, see, posts like this just make you look ridiculous 

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 18:23 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 17:21 | Link to Comment Gordon_Gekko
Gordon_Gekko's picture

"the U.S. is still the best economic and most stable political system, period."


March on Washington, Sept. 12, 2009


The US is NOT a Police State


Everybody has freedom of speech and the right to protest peacefully; oh so much better than the U.S.S.R. Nice! (G-20 protests, Pittsburgh)

"I bet you if every country in the world opened its borders to unlimited migrations in and out, you’d find the U.S. population balloon and Russia’s shrink."

Are you really sure about that Mr. Katsenelson? How about this:

http://www.xomba.com/end_us_dream_no_takers_20k_h1b_visas

From your article it appears that you have fully bought into the US Government's propaganda. 

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:29 | Link to Comment ConfederateH
ConfederateH's picture

Likely the reason these H1B visa's aren't being grabbed up is the "Heroes Earnings Assistance and Relief Tax Act of 2008" which makes green card holders liable for US taxes on their worldwide income for up to 10 years after they leave the US.  Any hard working person with talent would be a fool to come to the US to work, unless they come illegally of course.

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 14:13 | Link to Comment Gordon_Gekko
Gordon_Gekko's picture

Yeah, no s--t. Who would wanna be ROBBED for 10 years after they leave the US? 20% unemployment helps too.

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 03:27 | Link to Comment rayen36
rayen36's picture

Funny seeing the Canadian flag in the middle of that march on Washington...

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 19:41 | Link to Comment spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Slant much GG. Holy shit man. You ought to work for the whitehouse.

 

"MARK IT ZERO, DUDE"

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 18:20 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Cheers GG.   All so true.

There is much more on a variety of topics as well.  I have traveled the world and have seen my fair share.  Hate to be the one to break it to ya Vitaliy, but there are many Americans who are their state, home town or whatever that has far more significance that simply a college football team.  Sheesh.  What a Grebervore this fellow citizen is!

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 00:46 | Link to Comment Gordon_Gekko
Gordon_Gekko's picture

Jesus man! The guy seems to be reading directly out of US governments' propaganda book. All those cliches - sounds like a hollywood movie script. He probably doesn't wanna face the fact that he stepped out of the frying pan into the fire.

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 23:36 | Link to Comment RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Wait until those extensions for unemployment finally run out!  Then we'll see how much cohesion there is in these "United" States.  It does not fool any of us that the reason for Max Baucus's Emergency Unemployment Compensation Act of 2009 is to quell the inevitable unrest from unemployed citizens.  The Act even makes special compensation for the "hard-hit states".  These would be the first areas to rise up and break a few windows, pillage a few electronics stores, and show a total disregard for law enforcement.  The so-called temorary extensions of unemployment will turn into permanent extensions soon enough.  I'd rather not hear from those who say that this is the right thing to do; the right thing to do is create jobs.

 

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 08:59 | Link to Comment Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Anyone else find the Public Service Announcements from Homeland Security urging everyone to stock up on water and food a little eerie?

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 13:53 | Link to Comment Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture

For God's sake, Gordon, get some damned perspective.

Just because a nation of 300 million has tens of thousands of dyed-in-the-wool left-wing protesters who will do their best to spike any capitalist event doesn't mean the nation is a "police state" when it inevitably has to tase some of them.

Sat, 10/10/2009 - 14:12 | Link to Comment Gordon_Gekko
Gordon_Gekko's picture

How about this? This is definitely not a "dyed-in-the-wool left-wing protester spiking a capitalist event":  

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=82447

I could go on as long as you want. If you still refuse to accept the reality of what USA has become or think it can't happen to you - think again.

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 12:07 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!