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Don't Fall For Cheap "Robosigning" Imitations - Buy The Model AF: The First Real Robot Signer
Contrary to popular expectations, robosigners are not just assorted WalMart rejects, also known as Bank of America employees of the month. Meet the Damilic Corporation, which makes the first true to life Robosigner. It is amazing Bank of America has still not taken the company public yet. With signing rates of 500 sheets/hour, this company is sure to trade at a Netflix comparable P/E of 100 in no time.
From Damilic Corporation's Description of the Model AF
The Model AF
The Signascript Model AF, our fastest signature signing machine, is designed for users with the need for a flexible, 500-page (800 sheets of copy paper), automatic paper feed system. The Model AF can accept paper stock as short as 3 inches in length and thicknesses from copy paper to poster board. An optional paper handling unit with paper-reversing capabilities is available to maintain the sorting direction for customers with mail-merge needs. As with all of the Signascript systems, the approximate 3" x 6" writing area offers writing options for holiday and note cards not available on other commercial signature replication systems.
The replaceable signature cartridge (about the size of a ¾" thick business card) enables all Signascript systems to write one or several signatures or complete personalized messages within the available writing area. In addition, any number of cartridges can be used with a machine, allowing for the secure use by multiple users within a business or organization.
The paper handling system is very fast. Machine pause to advance paper between sighatures is 1½ seconds. Typical signing rates are 500 sheets/hour; some simple "iconic" marks have been clocked at rates greater than 1,000/hour. This product is ideal for large jobs, providing fast turn around in focussed mail communications.
The unit will easily fit on a desk or table top or an optional stand/cart (shown in photo) is available. An adapter to reverse pages, maintaining same face-up order, is also available for standard letter size papers.
Specifications
Height: 19 inches (without cartridge)
Width: 15 inches (allow additional 2" for full writing arm movement)
Depth: 22½ inches (allow additional for paper output)
Power Requirements: 110 volts, 1 amp (can be configured for 220 volts)
h/t Raymond K Hessel
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Is this what Timmah is going to use for the new FRNs?
All BB needs for the new FRN's is a mouse, a zero key (to keep adding digits), and to press "enter".
Looks like the result of an illicit affair between a Dalek and the Robot from "Lost in Space". Apparently little Robsigner's parents met at a Sci-Fi Convention in 1971.
"Warning, warning, danger Will Robinson...err...EXTERMINATE!"
I just found a competitor....the company that actually founded the industry.
http://www.signaturemachine.com
Both companies are located in the Washington DC area. I'm googling 'automatic signature machine' and finding all sorts of shenanigans.
Those even have a shredder compatibility chute.
Can I get this in a smartphone form factor?
1000 signatures per hour, assuming $100 notes, that's $100k per hour. $2.4M per day. $72M per month.
He would need over 1000 such machines to keep up with the Fed's desire to print.
now you tell us, after I already have carpal tunnel.
Ink... robo has it
What is the point of such a machine? ...wouldnt it be easier to just photocopy the signature?
This is a fictitious article, hopefully meant to be humorous.
The machine is certainly real, although its proposed use may be a bit fanciful -- note I said may be.
Fish Gone Bad,
I thought this was out of The Onion too, but it's a real product from a real company.
it is not real? robonotesigner.
robo signing was all the job growth under bush's presidency.
Clearly you're not experienced at forgery.
Just as a FYI for all those out there, A real signature on an original document leaves an impression you can feel by running your fingers on the obverse side of the document. The real question is, does the robo-signer apply the weight of a human hand to the stylus/pen?
Looking for a good time are we?
No matter what if real documents are presented in forclosure compare the ink if the bank kept a document or let you keep one signed that day in the original blue ink pen. If the documents presented in court do not match in color or consistency, be certain to bring that to the attention of the court!
Comparing ink. Hmmm. How are you going to do that, without chemical and spectral analysis of comparative samples on both the copy and original.
This is why you need a modern indenture, with a tear line, where the tear lends itself to immediate visiual matching, augmented with ink 'sample areas' on both copy and original, should the controversy rise above a certain threshhold.
Signatures in fountain pen ink on both sides, and across the tear line.
I believe Jamie Dimon has one in his office. Apparently signing the bonus checks gets a bit tedious.
It also does holiday cards. Nice.
Unfair to humans with fictitios pseudonyms!
Will it do doctor's signatures on Rx pads? We're going to need that with healthcare reform.
All algos need a hand to sign with...
This model is a spin off of the Chinese phone book writer:
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
that is a joke a lot of people say about me and my chins, are like a chinese telephone book.
But can it post spurious gold bashing comments and one-hit wonder charts like our own beloved Robotroll?
If yes, hire it Tyler.
i need to invent a robo-notarizer that integrates into this device. Imaging the efficiencies one can gain when the documents move automaticlly from the robo-signer to the robo-notarizer.
GENIUS!!
i want to marry me a robo-notarizer.
I can't see from my computer, is that a bouquet of flowers for your new avatar?
no it is my beautiful new geisha mask. see the white face on the left. real angora and different goat hairs and beautiful ribbons is all. japanese papers. i am going to become a geisha sword fighter.
Won't bitch and whine when you date other notarizers. I suspect it will still be high maint.
Truely fictional. Modern signing capacity much greater than 1000 per hour.
sorry but i fail to see the humor in this very serious problem which is a violation of the law and is fraudulent. this is already taking place! it has been admitted under oath that the robo-signers (a.k.a. "the affiant", for you legal types) had their signatures put electronically on foreclosure affidavits without their knowldege.
see for yourself (@ 9:20)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqcy5aFibfQ
Where the hell are we in this mortgage mess? I know there are many people who have not paid their November mortgage until they find out from their servicer who owns their mortgage note etc and they have not heard anything. Good sign for them?
I've always suspected that "documentation" will miraculously appear at the last moment.
Wonder who's on their Board.
No matter how cheap, DO NOT buy replacement ink cartridges from Yemen.
Isn't there a machine in India we could outsource this to?
And I believe its manufacturer is a subsidiary of Waddle & Reed, Raddle & Weed
Hey, wait a minute...that machine looks just like the "missle" launched off CA's coast yesterday.
I hear that that the mini QE-2 model prints money too!
Ink cartridges are special order from Yemen.
show them that you care...
http://www.realsig.com/productshome.htm
Looks like the "Crushinator" from Futurama, 'cept it's not pink!
All you've gotta do is sub-poena them & ask who are their customers?
There will not be any surprises I suspect.
Job done.
EURO daily chart bearish warnings continue.
US Dollar daily chart bullish warnings continue.
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