DSK Bail Granted

Tyler Durden's picture

Hide you kids, hide you wives. DSK has just been granted bail pending the sexual assault trial. Terms of the bail agreement include a $1 million bail, $5 million insurance bond, the surrender of his diplomatic passport, 24 hour home monitoring including a constant webcam live feed, an armed guard to be posted outside a rented apartment, and all the usual electronic appliances attached to DSK's body. We reiterate our suggestion that DSK's webcam should be opened to the public at a monthly subscription charge with the proceeds going to the PIIGS (sinking) bailout fund.