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The Economist FTW

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All you need to know in two easy words.

 

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Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:08 | 325343 truont
truont's picture

"The horror, the horror".  That's priceless!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:20 | 325368 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Do you want to lend, or do you want to surf?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:22 | 325370 docj
docj's picture

Charlie don't lend.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:33 | 325398 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

+100

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:33 | 325771 Richard Weed
Richard Weed's picture

Do you smell that...!  Do you smell that...!  I love the smell of burning Gyros in the morning... smells like... Victory.

[If you can't play by the rules, you are kicked out of the Club... keep in mind that only one lieutenant has to be shot... everyone else will fall in order rather hastily]

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:56 | 325820 Richard Weed
Richard Weed's picture

The following was sourced from Stratfor www.stratfor.com

 

The Greek economic imbroglio that has engulfed the European Union in its most serious economic and political crisis ever is building to a climax, with the likely conclusion on May 10 when the eurozone leaders meet in Brussels. Below is a timeline of significant events.

 

May 1

 

  • May Day Protests: Germany — especially Berlin — is bracing for considerable violence on May Day, both from left-wing protesters and neo-Nazis. While not directly related to the Greek problems, the size and level of violence in Germany will be an indicator of the public angst toward the economic crisis. While Germany will be the epicenter of the protests, there will be demonstrations across Europe. Athens could see considerable violence as major protest rallies are held (some at Greek ports) against budget austerity measures.

 

May 2

 

  • Greek Negotiations Conclude: Athens is expected to conclude negotiations with the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and the European Union over additional austerity measures. Indications are that a three-year freeze in public wages — including bonuses worth two months’ wages — will be implemented and that the retirement age will be raised from 62 to 67. There will also be a public-sector hiring freeze and a raise in the value-added tax. This will come on top of austerity measures already in effect, and is likely to elicit further protests in Greece.
  • Eurozone/German Meetings: Eurozone finance ministers will meet in Brussels, and there is also a possibility that the leaders of eurozone countries will meet via teleconference immediately following the announcement of the conclusion to negotiations between Greece, the IMF and the European Union. Most likely, the meeting will determine the next steps, as the eurozone is not expected to approve the deal before May 10. Meanwhile, German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble has indicated that immediately after the negotiations, he will ask Germany’s private banks to get involved in the Greek bailout. This is an attempt to get popular support for the bailout by illustrating to the German taxpayer that the bankers will be paying for Greek intransigence as well. German public opinion polls also indicate that the German public would approve of the Greek bailout if the banks share the burden with the taxpayers.

 

May 3

 

  • ECB/EU Commission Approval: The European Central Bank (ECB) and the EU Commission will have to approve the May 2 deal between Greece and IMF/EU negotiators. This is a key step before eurozone leaders can vote on it.
  • The German Cabinet Weighs In: Germany’s executive branch will likely agree to the deal this day. However, this is part of a process that is expected to take a week.

 

May 5

 

  • Greek General Strike: Greek trade unions — which have more than 1 million members — are expected to hold a general strike. The one thing that can derail the bailout of Greece at its start is potential for social unrest. If Greek unions sustain strikes over a considerable time period, or if violence in the streets intensifies, the government could become unable to enact the agreed-upon austerity measures.

 

May 7

 

  • Germany Decides: Germany is expected to seek parliamentary approval for the bailout deal by the end of the week of May 3, although the Bundestag’s final vote could take place on May 10. May 7 could bring the vote of the Bundesrat — the upper house — and a deal between the major parties. This is a key hurdle that needs to be cleared in the bailout process because Germany’s decision will signal to the rest of the eurozone — particularly countries skeptical of the bailout, like the Netherlands and Austria — which way Berlin is leaning. The vote is expected to pass, with key German officials no longer referring to the financial aid package as a “bailout of Greece,” but rather a defense of the euro against speculators — a marked shift in tone likely to rally public support for “protecting the euro” as opposed to “bailing out the Greeks.”

 

May 10

 

  • Eurozone Summit: Eurozone leaders will meet in Brussels to most likely officially approve the Greek bailout package, although they could also pre-approve it at a teleconference on May 2. The key at this point will be for the bailout to be large enough to “shock and awe” investors into feeling reassured about the eurozone’s support for Greece.
  • Germany’s Final Decision: The final vote in the Bundestag, Germany’s lower house, could take place on this day.

 

May 19

 

  • D-Day for Greece: Greece must cover a maturing 8.5 billion euro ($11.3 billion) 10-year bond. If Athens cannot come up with the cash, such a credit event would be very disruptive and could precipitate a crisis of confidence, a restructuring or some sort of default.
Fri, 04/30/2010 - 14:17 | 325860 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Yep, protests in Athens ... Germans pay.  They really should grow a new pair and go gothic on them.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:45 | 325436 Anton LaVey
Anton LaVey's picture

I love the smell of CDS burning in the morning... It smells like nothing else.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:07 | 325484 Mont Bleu
Mont Bleu's picture

This is the end... my only friend...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:07 | 325486 Mont Bleu
Mont Bleu's picture

This is the end... my only friend...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 15:06 | 325943 Reflexivity
Reflexivity's picture

Photo Journalist:  This is the way the fucking world ends! Look at this fucking shit we're in, man! Not with a bang, but with a whimper. And with a whimper, I'm fucking splitting, Jack.

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 15:53 | 326008 akak
akak's picture

“There is no bailout problem. In the euro area, default does not exist.”

(Joaquin Almunia, 2010)

 

"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege ... God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis ... We have them surrounded in their tanks ... There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never! ... Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."

(Iraqi Minister of Information "Baghdad Bob", 2003)

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:39 | 325413 B9K9
B9K9's picture

I love how major news magazines use words like "out of control". Nothing could be further from the truth. The entire purpose of the public stage of this debacle is maximum debt saturation. The IMF is achieving this objective with admirable results.

I don't see anything out of control; rather, I see a plan unfolding in all its beautiful glory. Really, at some point we must give credit where credit is due. We are being masterfully played. Bravo!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:57 | 325464 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

I agree. They have engineered the end-game with astonishing precision.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:19 | 325507 B9K9
B9K9's picture

The only snit I have is if you take two people of comparable IQ, and one is purposely directed towards a 'useful' professional career (one entailing horribly boring, complex subject matter complete with multi-day licensing tests, only to graduate to a life of 16 hr work days), while the other is pulled aside and told how the world really works, it's not really cricket, now is it?

Well, better late than never. I'm pretty competitive, which is why I don't get all wobbly bemoaning what has become of us. I just want to get a chance to play & win during the next round.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:33 | 325533 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

You must be a CPA.  In my next life I'm going to be a housewife, or house cat.  Haven't decided yet.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:45 | 325552 Hulk
Hulk's picture

I'm coming back as a fucking Chihuahua! Can't beat a view from the purse!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:23 | 325657 poor fella
poor fella's picture

Could come back as a little girl Chihuahua tho  =/

"I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet."

- Where's my JUNK?!?!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:51 | 325563 merehuman
merehuman's picture

B9K9  I see it your way as well. All motivation to do honest work is gone from me. Today i go to a work site to "help" a friend finish his garage. What actual cash i may receive from this is worth didly. Besides that it just "feels stupid" to work for dollars when other folks make millions in minutes from a call.  Until recently i had a strong german work ethic. Now it just makes no sense to work at all.   Add the millions of unemployed getting free money  for to years really yanked the rug out from under fair work ,fair pay

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:09 | 325623 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

WTF does IQ measure????

If you can't see how the world really works IQ will not help you.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:24 | 325660 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Pattern recognition is very underestimated...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:11 | 325733 thesapein
thesapein's picture

Well, if say 5% of the population is smart enough to understand how important being smart is, well, that's leaves 95% of the population telling themselves that everyone is created equal.

Sun, 05/02/2010 - 10:38 | 327754 Reflexivity
Reflexivity's picture

The ratio of suckers to nonsuckers is a constant.  You could also call it the wolf-to-sheep ratio.

The game changes, but the suckers stay the same.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:58 | 325710 B9K9
B9K9's picture

Exactly. But how do you get out of the system in the first place in order to gain enough perspective? What happens if you go to a leading HS where practically everyone goes to either Ivy/UC, your/their parents are Ivy/UC grads, and YOU are expected & guided to follow in the exact same steps?

Not only do you not get any chance to see how the world works, you're purposely directed away from any useful inquiry. Hence, the types of heart-felt essays of self-exploration written by CogDis who expresses what millions are now also experiencing.

In some regards, I at least was trained in fundamentals so that my transition was fairly quick & painless. But what about scientists, doctors and humanitarians who were also sold the same con job, yet have -0- background knowledge in how to process this type of information?

At some point, you come to realize just what a masterful performance the entire game was played. Control education, control media and control (fiat) money and have a field day directing & watching the lemmings run around in circles trying desperately to "get ahead". Problem is, is it really that much fun after the thrill is gone? Is that why Lloyd looks the way he does?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:15 | 325739 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

LSD

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 09:12 | 326806 aaronvelasquez
aaronvelasquez's picture

Or some nice blue mushrooms.  Either way go camping and watch the trees and rocks watching you back.  They don't care what the market is doing.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:25 | 325755 YourAverageDebtSlave
YourAverageDebtSlave's picture

That's why I say we all focus our time on educating the homeless and bums on how to extract revenge on the powers that be in the banking and government sector.  You figure there are thousands of them with nothing to lose and enough people pissed off in the middle and upper middle class who are educated and ready to lead a willing ahem "population."  Not that I'm advocating anything, I'm just saying... 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:05 | 325722 thesapein
thesapein's picture

Did someone not leverage themselves properly against a possible low IQ score? Need to hit the gym again?

 

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:08 | 325727 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Ouch!  Note to self, don't screw with thesapein.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:17 | 325743 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

"Leverage themselves properly against a possible low IQ score"

That might be a good one

 

Sun, 06/13/2010 - 19:53 | 411325 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

Not sure if it was intentional or not, but that was really fucking funny!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 17:55 | 326231 bchbum
bchbum's picture

It would be nice to have been told it early on, instead having to 'figure' it out through trial and error.

Sun, 05/02/2010 - 10:41 | 327756 Reflexivity
Reflexivity's picture

Careful, in trial and error (especially the error part) will reveal to you in much more real terms how-the-world works (in a bottom-up, scientific way) than taking someone else's (top-down) opinion.  Find the diamond in the error, just do it as fast and as early as possible in life.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 15:22 | 325971 dnarby
dnarby's picture

Engineered?!

LMFAO!

The only possibility of this being engineered is after the dust has settled, Greenspan comes forward and admits to having intentionally turned the debt fire hose on, knowing full well the bankers wouldn't be able to contain their avarice in their dream to become feudal lords of the Earth.

As things stand, they killed the goose the laid the golden eggs, it's just going to take about 18 months for the goose to die (it's a really big goose, after all).

This will result in the repudiation of modern monetary systems, Keynesianism, and a return to PMs or PMs/commodities as currency.

With any luck there will be a big purge of non-productive government (bureaucrats, military and various forms of welfare, both corporate and private), and a de-centralizing of power (return of control to state and local governments).

But the banks are pooched.  The top management will be lucky if they don't do hard time.

in the end, we don't need banks.  They are a convenience, like cable TV or the Internet.  If they survive at all, it will be in their traditional local lending/VC services (think George Will in It's a Wonderful Life".

Once this is over, the pent up entrepreneurial urges (unfettered by the shackles of corrupt bankers and feckless politicians) will gusher forth resulting in an age of growth and prosperity few will have anticipated.

Just make sure you have a good helmet and life vest on so you can make it to the other side of the terribly fast-moving river we all need to cross.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 16:18 | 326054 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

Move to a wider angle lens my friend. 17mm or wider I think.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:26 | 325516 faustian bargain
faustian bargain's picture

What they mean is "Out of (your and my) control".

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:27 | 325522 IceViking
IceViking's picture

This is a masterpiece indeed!!  Their agenda is clear, but is it clear to us?  For me I don't understand it, is it to owe everything?  or just to control everything?!  beats me!!

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 09:16 | 326808 aaronvelasquez
aaronvelasquez's picture

Techno-Feudalism?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:45 | 325554 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

Tell me how I can make money off of "maximum debt saturation".

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:01 | 325714 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Buy gold, buy silver.  The debt will be monetized.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 16:39 | 326092 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

"Last call!"

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:21 | 325510 Assetman
Assetman's picture

Oh.. looky here... the Economist has gone done something clever. :)

If real, this is actually pretty funny.

The Horror!  The Horror!

LOL!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:34 | 325536 John Self
John Self's picture

Merkel = PBR Streetgang

Ben = Almighty

Europe, or maybe the whole world = Kurtz's compound

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:31 | 325768 Richard Weed
Richard Weed's picture

Do you smell that...!  Do you smell that...!  I love the smell of burning Gyros in the morning... smells like... Victory.

[If you can't play by the rules, you are kicked out of the Club... keep in mind that only one lieutenant has to be shot... everyone else will fall in order rather hastily]

Thu, 08/11/2011 - 11:16 | 1550945 TTaco
TTaco's picture

archived

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:38 | 325344 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Willardolys: Are you crazy, Goddammit? Don't you think its a little risky for just some EMU?

Kilgoraia: If I say its safe to swap interest rates with these Goldman bitches, Captain, then its safe to swap interest rates with these bitches!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:09 | 325345 ZakuKommander
ZakuKommander's picture

You'd think they could at least have decked Angela out in Flecktarn.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:11 | 325351 Citizen of an I...
Citizen of an IKEA World's picture

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:18 | 325363 Mitchman
Mitchman's picture

Morrison lives!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:05 | 325480 3ringmike
3ringmike's picture

no one gets outta this shit house alive!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:21 | 325509 Anton LaVey
Anton LaVey's picture

Cancel my subscription to the resurrection!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 16:10 | 326041 nuinut
nuinut's picture


Strange days have found us 
Strange days have tracked us down 
They're going to destroy 
Our casual joys 
We shall go on playing 
Or find a new town 
 

Strange eyes fill strange rooms 
Voices will signal their tired end 
The hostess is grinning 
Her guests sleep from sinning 
Hear me talk of sin 
And you know this is it 
 

Strange days have found us 
And through their strange hours 
We linger alone 
Bodies confused 
Memories misused 
As we run from the day 
To a strange night of stone

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 23:20 | 326563 dumpster
dumpster's picture

get morphene

arm drip.. sleep the hurt away

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:11 | 325352 John Bull
John Bull's picture

"I love the smell of olive oil in the morning"!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:52 | 325566 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

That is really funny!  My compliments

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:14 | 325353 What_Me_Worry
What_Me_Worry's picture

Lt. Col. Kilgore played by Helicopter Ben

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:29 | 325386 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

'you either surf or you fight..' [reflate or die..]

'i love the smell of naplam.. smells like victory..' [i love a bubble, looks like economic growth]

 

 

so who's Willard. Barofsky?

[terminate with extreme prejudice?]

Kurtz? Blankenfein?

The EU players are all the tribal hubbub surrounding Kurtz.

Cramer as the Dennis Hopper character? Like man, this guy knows everything, he is just so far out there man. buy buy, you dig..

 

Bush as Coppola, Obama as Geo Lucas.

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:40 | 325420 What_Me_Worry
What_Me_Worry's picture

Maybe the surfboard represents Ben's printing press.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:05 | 325481 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

haven't figured out Lance, Geithner probably. Good analogy, the surf boards had the logo of their Army unit.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:26 | 325515 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

Cramer=Hopper, eeexcellent!

A hyped-up nutbag twitching around the periphery of the action; just trade the camera shutter button for those big, pound-on-em buttons.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:29 | 325763 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

only a film nerd would remember, the making of the film was a disaster, a hurricane wiped out the set, Martin Sheen had a heart attack, Coppola was on the edge of a breakdown, he called in Lucas to help. Mr Starwars crafted that scene at the river, where Willard goes ashore looking for their commanding officer.

 

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 17:05 | 326148 weinerdog43
weinerdog43's picture

"A hyped-up nutbag twitching around the periphery of the action;"

+1000  Oh, man.  That is a priceless visual.  I'm going to savor that.  Boo-yah! indeed.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 17:23 | 326183 akak
akak's picture

I tend to visualize Cramer more as a coked-up baboon myself.  Although I imagine Cramer's ass is probaby even more enlarged and reddened than the average baboon's, after taking it from Blankfein all those years at GS.  To be fair, that certainly has not diminished his diehard loyalty to his former employer and Prince of Darkness one iota.

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 10:51 | 326877 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

"Some day this war's gonna end!"

And then what will we all whine about?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:17 | 325359 emsolý
Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:18 | 325364 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Great Higgly Piggly, even the Economist is waking up.

"Sir, time to kiss your royal arse goodby."

 

Can't wait till Chindit sees this.  Stiff upper lip old chaps.

                          

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:19 | 325366 Mitchman
Mitchman's picture

"All you need to know in two easy words": De-fault.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:23 | 325376 tmosley
tmosley's picture

It's not just a region in California anymore!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:42 | 325425 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

+1

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:22 | 325371 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:23 | 325372 Lux Fiat
Lux Fiat's picture

Remember the old anti-drug slogan "Just say no"? 

Perhaps Deutschland needs a new EU debt shenanigans slogan "Sagen jetz NEIN".

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:24 | 325377 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Dimitri don't surf !

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:31 | 325395 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Dimitri do surf.  Dimitri don't work.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:27 | 325524 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Your comment helps bring up an old trivia memory from the Marianas trench-like depths of my mind. In the early 1960's the director of the Gidget movies, who was of Greek descent, went to the Aegean to find some places to shoot his series. The only decent waves he found were in the ouzo bottles of his host. Quirks of history ! The interconnectedness of all things amazes me. I have just finished my third bottle of Retsina in sympathy with my Greek friends tonight and am feeling a little philozophikal...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:29 | 325384 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

Most excellent!  I just peed in my pants.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:32 | 325396 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

45 billion IMF dollars to bail out Greece, Iraq got a trillion, and for what. I say pay them off, and give every American taxpayer a free two week vacation in the Greek Isles.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:39 | 325415 BrianOFlanagan
BrianOFlanagan's picture

Goodnight Saigon - April 30, 1975

Goodnight Wall Street Scum - April 30, 2010. 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:40 | 325416 Kataphraktos
Kataphraktos's picture

"You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill."

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 15:40 | 325990 akak
akak's picture

"You speak Burmese?"

"No, that was just gibberish."

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:43 | 325429 alt-shift-x
alt-shift-x's picture

Fuck the revolution bring on the Acropolis hehe brilliant, there are rumors here in germany that there´s a bankrun going on in Greece right now .. i have no confirmation yet though. 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:37 | 325539 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

The Greeks in Melbourne, Australia are extremely subdued at the moment. It is very painful to watch what is happening in the old country for them. They will not however reach into their pockets to donate to the "Please Bail-Out Greece" website set up by the Ministry of Finance. Nana Mouskouri has given up her pension but not too many ex-pats are willing to follow her lead. Most people are more worried about the family property holdings in the country. They have close to zero trust in the politicians. (For all those that didn't know Old Melbourne Town has the third largest Greek population of any city in the world outside of Athens and Thessalonika. Most if not all are very grateful to be living in the Great Southern Land. They would not swap their Aussie passports for a million drachmas. If Greece was physically attacked by Turkey for example many would go back and fight but this scenario will not arise. The Turks are not that silly.)

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:45 | 325435 stevegee58
stevegee58's picture

That's when you call in the air strike.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:45 | 325437 Bow Tie
Bow Tie's picture

great cover :D is that benny boy i see in the lead helicopter?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:46 | 325438 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

Don't look Economist, but GBP is next.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:46 | 325441 Gunther
Gunther's picture

What's the Horror?

Greek Default?

Angela Merkel?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:05 | 325479 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Typo on the cover. 

"The horror, the whore."

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:10 | 325490 alt-shift-x
alt-shift-x's picture

LOL hey didn´t vote for her

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:39 | 325518 Gunther
Gunther's picture

Many years ago I was polled whether I like certain German politicians becoming Chancellor.

Politician 1: F

Politician 2: F-

...

Angela: Dann stelle ich 'nen Ausreiseantrag

I'll file to leave the country what implied that it was still GDR

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:13 | 325633 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

You have to file to leave the country????

Is it true that in Germany all the trees are numbered and logged in a journal somewhere????

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:10 | 325731 Gunther
Gunther's picture

Today not, get your passport and leave.

In the former GDR (East Germany) before 1989 - to go to western countries - yes. Travelling inside the eastern bloc was possible.

"Is it true that in Germany all the trees are numbered and logged in a journal somewhere????"

No

 

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 10:53 | 326882 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

But you do show your passport at Kontrolle on the way out, and they do scan it into their system, ostensibly to see if you are someone who should be allowed to leave.

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:38 | 325541 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Slander will get you nowhere...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:17 | 325738 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

...is simply not true!  In a slander case you get to do DISCOVERY.

1) Mrs. Merkel, please list each and every person, male or female, you have ever gotten into bed with, either physically, politically, or monetarily.

2) 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 14:14 | 325853 desgust
desgust's picture

+1

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:52 | 325450 augmister
augmister's picture

At first I thought the cover was a parody (yes, I HAD to go the The Economist website to see for myself)....now I know just how surprised and angry the US citizen will be when reality SINKS in!  LOLOL   Very scary and I hang out here with you guys everyday.   Today is a real turning point.   Denninger pronounce that the spaceship US, has official run out of fuel.   In cartoon physics, Wiley Coyote has started the long fall.... this will not end well.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:17 | 325506 Postal
Postal's picture

The only way us Americans are going to be "surprised and angry" is if something interrupts our fast food and American Idol. The few who do try to effect change receive little more than a condescending pat on the head from our congress-critters.

However unlikely, unless we Americans take to the streets en mass--firey faggots and pitchforks included--the fall will continue, and poor Wiley's parachute will turn out to be an Acme anvil.

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 10:55 | 326883 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

err, is that a typo there? Shouldn't that be American Idle?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:42 | 325545 Adam Neira
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Good "crunchy" journalism. i.e. It has substance. The time for beating around the media bush is over. Let everyone face up to the true state of things and let's all deal with it. Truth stings but it is worth the bite !

"It doesn't matter what you think. We will all the know the truth and what is correct in the end !"

The "end" is nigh...

 

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:53 | 325451 bada boom
bada boom's picture

.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:53 | 325454 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

All the easy one-liners have been used up, and I haven't watched the movie in too long a time to remember anything else.

Oh well, GOLD BITCHES!!

I am Chumbawamba.

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 00:08 | 326607 DoChenRollingBearing
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I read the magazine on the way back from Milan today.  Clever cover.

But, it looks like even the various Italians I talked with are spooked re too much debt.  And yet most (at least the younger ones) do not know SQUAT about gold or debt or preserving wealth.  The young are stingy though, as they have no money.

After tomorrow (Monday I guess, as a friend has his daughter's wedding I must go to), I will start spending the current US$100s for more gold and ammo.

Any S. FL. guys want to come shootingt next week?  2 so far...

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 19:55 | 327357 WaterWings
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Yo, DCRB,

Wish I could join the shootout. Love your posts. Wish I could have joined you in Bella Italia.

Good luck (with the coming mess) if I didn't say it already.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 10:57 | 325466 ambrosiac
ambrosiac's picture

 

"The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky -- seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness".

 

Music's on:

 

Way up in the sky
Over the city, over Tokyo
Silver light, summer moon
You’ll be over somebody’s winter this afternoon...

 

 

Not to worry.  It's an old world, 'round here.  Apocalyptic visions are a dime a dozen.

 

Especially when someone else is paying the piper.

 

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:09 | 325488 Matto
Matto's picture

That's it, im in.

 

BBVA & STD Puts, SKF & SDS Calls.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:13 | 325497 HarryWanger
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I just saw an article which declared the "crisis over in Europe". Now even I find that pretty ridiculous. However, it seems to be enough to sway the market from plunging today. 

FWIW: I sold every share of AAPL I had this morning at 269. Noticed some odd accounting in the 10-Q that no one seems to be talking about and I think negative PR is going to smack them. Started into a short position at upper 268's.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:15 | 325501 PaperWillBurn
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We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Piigs after piigs... cow after cow... village after village... army after army.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:58 | 325826 THE DORK OF CORK
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Bomb them to rubble, then bomb the rubble and if that does not work Nuke them till they glow.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:17 | 325505 fmxconnect
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the economist like every body else these days, has Daily show writers doing its headlines now. this is from our site: good step by step photo shoot of the gulf fire. At the Scene of the Rig Disaster http://ht.ly/1FaPB

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:25 | 325513 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Holy shit!  Did you see the cover of The Economist?

"Indian cricket stumped"

That's it...we're all fucked!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:50 | 325555 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Indians love cricket more than Catholics love the Pope. You couldn't slide a slippery razor blade between an Indian bookie's hip pocket and his little black book of player's phone numbers. We can't have the gladiators being pilloried can we ! What will become of the world ! Quelle horreur ! (Queue in...French subtitles of Apocalypse Now)

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:16 | 325640 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

"Indians love cricket more than Catholics love the Pope"

How hard is that?  The faithful are turning away from the corrupt child rapist regime in record numbers.

Start taxing all their lands and property and put them out of business.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:26 | 325519 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Would have been better if those helicopters pictured were Huey gunships. They look more like OH-58 Kiowas.

Kind of spoiled it for those of us who know the difference.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:32 | 325530 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

OT kinda - but looks like the French side of the Louisiana Purchase is coming out to be the long term winner...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:47 | 325556 What_Me_Worry
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If only we would have let them keep New Orleans it would have been the perfect purchase for us.

We got some of the best farmland in the world out of that purchase so that we can keep the bread lines moving along.  At least our country can still grow with the best of them.

Seems like we should just return to the old Roman empire domestic policy and just cut out the middle-men.  Think of all those jobs we could create in QE 2.0 building new coliseums.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:07 | 325594 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

true - but losing all the fish in the gulf and the endless aid that disaster black hole will be sucking is tipping the scales a bit

now new drilling is on hold which is probably for the best since the world is more and more incompetent these days...  did ya see that NASA balloon epic failure the other day?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:02 | 325598 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Best historical trade ever...Pulau Run for New Amsterdam by the British. The Dutch lost big time. I wish I had taken out a put option on "Spice Island Futures" in 1647. (I am actually a vampire and have lived for æons. I am used to staying up late and flying around to various sites to take a bite. Zero Hedge appealed to me for its nihilistic, gothic title. I wish my money management had been better though. Always picking the wrong side...Napoleon at Waterloo. The Mayans versus Cortes. The South Vietnamese versus the North. The Y2K virus. Neanderthals versus the Cro Magnons. HAL versus the Astronaut. My rich vampire mates won’t have anything to do with me.)

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:14 | 325637 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

wow - you are a very honest vampire - no rigged bets at all..  i think we must rename part of the squid's moniker

perhaps werewolves play dirty?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:38 | 325540 Eduardo
Eduardo's picture

The V shape recovery is hear... Obama is introducing in national TV 5 (FIVE !) workers that got recently employed !

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:40 | 325543 JR
JR's picture

Just the facts ma’am:

The case of the Securities and Exchange Commission v. Goldman Sachs & Co. et al (Southern New York District, 10-3229 [Manhattan]), has been assigned to Judge Barbara S. Jones. – Zero Hedge

Here come da judge.  But, does here come the justice? Or the truth, for that matter, as relayed by The Economist?

Follow the dots of this hands-across-the-sea operation: Who is Judge Jones?  Who is The Economist?

Judge (of Goldman) Jones “is close friends with Estee Lauder general counsel Sara Moss.”

Serving these many years on the Board of Directors of Estée Lauder Companies and The Economist Group is shareholder Lynn Forester, Lady de Rothschild. 

Lynn Forester, Lady de Rothschild “is the chief executive officer of E.L. Rothschild, a holding company she owns with her third husband, Sir Evelyn Robert de Rothschild, a member of the Rothschild family. The company manages investments in the British business magazine The Economist and various enterprises in India…” –Wikipedia

And, now, follow the money:

Acropolis for whom, I ask—the American taxpayer and his hardearned “wealth” funneled to the IMF and its socialist agenda?  Perhaps it would be more fitting to replace “the horror, the horror” photo of Angela Merkel with Lady de Rothschild, or better yet, with IMF boss Dominque Strauss-Kahn of France’s Socialist Party.  Or, better yet, the buck-stops-here guys who planned the heist, Goldman and Morgan (Rothschild/Rockefeller).

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 14:18 | 325863 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

It's all incest now. Psychopaths don't want to marry anybody 'cept for other psychos - scum floating to the top.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 15:06 | 325942 Mr Lennon Hendrix
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The incest in the oligarchical families is one of the main facts that gives me hope.  We are fighting eugenicists that followed a flawed "science".  Stupid is as stupid does.  For anyone not in the know, check out the Rotheschildes' family tree.  They married cousins for centuries.  The last time it happened, to my knowledge, was only a few decades ago.  I guess they had not gotten the memo? 

Karma is a bitch!

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 15:13 | 325954 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

The banjo kid in Deliverance is a Rockefeller.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:44 | 325550 3ringmike
3ringmike's picture

 "who's the commanding officer here?"

"ain't you?"

never get outa the boat. never get out of the fucking boat!

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:49 | 325560 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

There is a Euro Teotwawki documentary being shown on the Comedy Channel, of all places, right now....prety sure "A. Jones" said mi-5, mi-6, and 007 use it as a training film.....

The take home message is get long Louisville sluggers asap..... CB

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 11:57 | 325585 chernevik
chernevik's picture

I wasn't even in their fuckin' monetary union any more.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:01 | 325592 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Kurtz: What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?

senators?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:06 | 325615 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Water Buffaloes definitely don't surf...

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:06 | 325614 trav7777
trav7777's picture

DROP THE BOMB

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:08 | 325622 exportbank
exportbank's picture

Finally something the TV watching masses may sort of understand. The line (Acropolis Now) is a thing of marketing beauty - I'm going to frame it. I don't want to sound at all negative but it's been four days since I took every last chip off the table - I'm much more relaxed as I sit looking over the water with a cheap Italian red in my hand.

I'm actually getting that feeling that the casino may close for renovation.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:11 | 325628 Truth
Truth's picture

Magazines covers like this trashy rag and others like Biz Week are good contrarion indicators to go long on either Euro and perhaps dare I say without inciting a riot on here, Euro bonds (see PFBDX, DIBCX).

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:15 | 325639 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

Only William Banzai does better photo-shopping. (Check out his latest.)

There can be only one !

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:11 | 325629 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I love the smell of Drachmas in the morning.  Smells like victory.  Someday this wars gonna end.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:13 | 325632 R.Temple Bligh
R.Temple Bligh's picture

But really how does the Greece crisis end short term?  Do the social dems in Germany cave? Or do they get the banks to help share the cost of the bail out? I think the banks are going to be held more accountable going forward because of the next 4 or 5 crisis' coming down the pike.

Question: If the banks are forced to share the burden, then does this mean they would have to take a haircut and write down some of the debt? Why is this a market destabilizing step? Schaeuble doesn't even entertain the possibility of the banks being involved which I find ridiculous. Why is this not even considered by the IMF?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:45 | 325644 Adam Neira
Adam Neira's picture

The Greeks will take the bail-out cash but if austerity measures are not introduced and they do not choose to live within their means then default will follow. The Greek leaders are stuck between a cropalis and a hard place. They are playing a good game though. They will take the money, strengthen their defences and do everything to try and defeat those they perceive as the enemy. Greece will not be the centre of global gravitas. This fact will frustrate them no end. The global economy does not need a liquid Greece to function however. If other smaller Euro states go down the same path we will still be left with the powerhouse that is the USA. The major European nations like Germany, France, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Norway, the UK et.al. can prosper with certain measures introduced. Citizens of the strong European nations will not tolerate continued subsidising of certain populations if they are not pulling their weight.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:47 | 325674 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

 Poor Louisiana, the govment is bent on ruining the place.  The Marshes are a valuable watershed and breeding area soon to be ruined.

 

Slightly off topic but Greece is getting Old..lol  imagine living in that archaic system with crumbling ruins all around.

 

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:39 | 325785 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

Apr 30, 2010
1:00 PM

BP Pares Losses: Sympathy For the …

Shares of BP (BP) have recovered a bit from early losses, though still down 29 cents, or half a percent, at $52.27, after a couple analysts rushed to the stock’s defense, saying the sell-off on the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico was excessive.

The stock is down 13.4% since the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig run by Transocean (RIG) for BP on April 20. That’s a loss of about $25 billion dollars in market capitalization.

Citigroup analyst Mark Fletcher reiterated a “Buy” rating and a price target of 730 pence on BP’s ordinary shares traded in London. The ordinary shares dropped 1.5% to 575.50 today.

The drop “seems disproportionate to the likely costs to the company, even assuming damages can be claimed,” writes Fletcher. “As an analogy, punitive damages against Exxon [Mobil (XOM)] for the 199 Valdez spillage were originally set at $5 billion in 1994 but were reduced on appeal with Exxon agreeing to pay less than $1 billion (including interest) in 2009.”

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 12:56 | 325701 Captain Obviousness
Captain Obviousness's picture

The helicopters flying in set to Ride of the Valkyries does not have the same dramatic impact when they are dropping money not firing rockets.

Speaking of which, where is Leslie Nielsen giving the "nothing to see here" speech as billions of US dollars via the IMF are dropped all over the Greece fire?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 13:33 | 325773 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream; that's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor... and surviving.

We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig... cow after cow... village after village... army after army...

Brillant movie.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 16:47 | 326109 Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now's picture

So few know their history to understand the irony.

A Greek bailout is really a big bank bailout by governments that stick the bill with their citizens and give the money to the big banks to cover loan losses.  The bankers lived high on the hog and encouraged abnormal asset price increases and provided large loans so that they could collect higher interest rate income (principle X interest rate).  Governments go along with it because it feeds more tax revenue since you are taxed on the inflation.

Well, the German people revolted (WWII) and called their currency confetti after they had massive inflation (Weimar).  Bankers of a certain nationality were blamed and innocent individuals were persecuted.

The irony today is that international bankers (IMF, World Bank, BIS) with last names that are all of one nationality are pressuring Germany to potentially devalue their currency by providing massive loans to Greece, and the other PIIGS to bail out the pigs.  It would be interesting to know the tools of leverage that the bankers use on government to convince them - they obviously control most of the media, so they can manaipulate public perception.  Why would they bail out bankers when it is so unpopular unless they were threatened or coorced? 

Could swine flu (pig) be a clever threat from the bankers against governments?  Is HAARP being used against countries that don't play ball?  It would appear that intelligence agencies and wealth capital are aligned.  They will have world government, "whether by consent or by conquest." - their words not mine.  Without a threat, why wouldn't a government just reorganize like Iceland and default?

I don't want to spoil the ending, but the entity with the biggest printing press and reserve currency wins in the end within the current international monetary system.  All your asset prices are based upon the amount of liquidity and number of zeros B.B. decides to add to the money supply.  Inflation and deflation are controlled, both the vertical and the horizontal are controlled.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 17:49 | 326224 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

"Almighty, Almighty (a/k/a Bernanke), this is Ouzo Street Gang.  Radio check, over."

 

 

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 21:55 | 326495 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Acropolis Now, that is nice.  Germany knows where this is leading and the majority of others are saying, "look we know this is a big blackhole and Greece won't do those austerity or pay us back, but we need to buy time to figure out how to save the Western banking system!".  And that is the case, they need time to either save it or build a new one that will be able to take the place of the old one.

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 22:09 | 326512 Arthur Vandelay
Arthur Vandelay's picture

...and the sequal coming soon to the continent nearest you

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 22:23 | 326523 Akrunner907
Akrunner907's picture

Damn!  Someone beat me to the link of the Doors.  I play that regularly when I read anything related to the global economy.  Opss, is there such a thing anymore?

Fri, 04/30/2010 - 22:42 | 326537 RobertShaw
RobertShaw's picture

Someday this ponzi's gonna end...

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 00:23 | 326622 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

So I almost forgot, tomorrow is the big day.  May 1st.  Twopacalypse now.

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 09:49 | 326823 TroyMcClureRIP
TroyMcClureRIP's picture

Prayers for Dennis.

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 10:58 | 326888 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

So they were interviewing a Portuguese guy on TV and asked him what he thought about Greece and the possibility that Portugal might follow suit, and his comment was along the lines of, "If we go bankrupt, then Germany will have to bail us out. They owe us, after all, since we gave them many guest workers over the years."

 

Tue, 05/04/2010 - 13:10 | 331075 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I thought ZH was joking, my surprise to find my copy in the mail.  HAHA!

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