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E*Trade Baby Turns Momo, Blows It All

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 04/15/2011 15:08 -0400

The dark side of giving babies full discretionary stock/CDS/option HFT-eligible trading accounts.

h/t Joe Saluzzi

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Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:11 | 1173578 WALLST8MY8BALL

BABY BABY BABY ATE MY 8BALL!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:42 | 1174022 Xibalba

models and bottles...baby bottles

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:11 | 1173580 TruthInSunshine

This was Lenny Dykstra.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:22 | 1173623 Hugh G Rection

Lenny Dykstra... HAHAHAHA!

Duhhh, me not very smart but look at my Maybach, trading easy for dummy like me, duhhhh whats a bubble? I like watching his success story video, pre-collapse on youtube.

great video.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 22:30 | 1175128 Freddie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8-TU3vxrYM

Even Cramer said Lenny is great in the video.

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 19:02 | 1176651 ZackAttack

Silly Lenny; a Martingale only works if you're the Fed.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:29 | 1173657 SheepDog-One

Lenny! Alas, we hardly knew ye.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:47 | 1173740 camoes

Oops, just heard on CNBS he got arrested! Poor baby!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:14 | 1173590 treemagnet

reminds me of cramer in '08. (fuck it, sell! sell! sell!)

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:14 | 1173591 Cognitive Dissonance

If you're the HFT house that's using baby E*Trade as a baby powder scented butt wipe, you just made some (more) jingle for the jeans.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:26 | 1173634 Miles Kendig

E-Trade baby get's introduced to South Park ... LOOOOOOL

http://youtu.be/4TlPo0yCSa4

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:36 | 1173998 Cognitive Dissonance

And it's gone.

The guy's good. It usually takes me several quarters to lose all the money. :>)

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:41 | 1174307 Miles Kendig

heh .. It doesn't take that long for this brotha when all that's left is a full faith & credit BenBuck and my last silver dollar. :D

http://youtu.be/0Kb2x0D584c

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 22:00 | 1175063 blindman

good one! i seen this act before.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:15 | 1173594 oogs66

ROFL!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:15 | 1173596 X. Kurt OSis

It's so cute cuz he's a baby.... wook at teh wittle baby getting squided.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:21 | 1173610 bob_dabolina

Is that a Lehman Brothers quant?

-AIG Quant

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:19 | 1173612 SheepDog-One

Its RoboTrader!!! :D

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:26 | 1173641 hedgeless_horseman

flag as awesome (1)

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:46 | 1173726 d00daa

I'm still laughing.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:06 | 1173862 Thisson

It does partially explain his breast fetish...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:14 | 1174166 EvlTheCat

Boo Yaa! SheepDog-One! Love Junk coming at you!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:22 | 1173621 Undecided

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Obama-Raise-debt-ceiling-or-apf-1093379033.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=2&asset=&ccode=

As predicted

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:28 | 1173640 SheepDog-One

WTF, I thought just 2 days ago Obama confirmed the future had been won? What, only if debt ceilings are made of rice paper?

<:D

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:15 | 1174171 EvlTheCat

plastic rice paper

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 08:37 | 1175578 FEDbuster

At dinner last night my wife, kids and I voted to raise our debt ceiling to ten million dollars, we will advise our credit card companies of the decision on Monday.

"Party on Wayne, party on Garth."

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:20 | 1173622 camoes

I wish I could buy CDS on my etrade account...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:07 | 1173865 Thisson

You can buy CEBOs!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:14 | 1173888 ZeroPower

Sure thing! When you will be funding the first $MM ?

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:22 | 1173624 SemperFord

Funniest thing I have seen in a while, baby should have done the opposite of Goldman.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:21 | 1173625 UnRealized Reality

LMFAOROTF

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:24 | 1173628 Deluxe186

lolz

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:23 | 1173631 Undecided

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Obama-Raise-debt-ceiling-or-apf-1093379033.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=2&asset=&ccode=

as predicted

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:28 | 1173638 barliman

"Most people think it's funny if you dress a stuntman up as a little old lady, put him in a wheel chair and roll him down a hill face first into a wall. A comedian thinks its funny if it is a real little old lady." Carl Reiner

Cute, but I am waiting until the HFT and quants are making street pizza out of themselves before I am really amused.

barliman

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 08:37 | 1175582 FEDbuster

"Jump You Fuckers!" by Gene Burnett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yge311sFhC8

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:32 | 1173665 sunnydays

That is so totally cute! thanks for the laugh

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:36 | 1173685 treemagnet

Now I recognize him....he's that intern at the Fed - I knew I knew him.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:38 | 1173693 Undecided

sticky finger...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:46 | 1173725 malusDiaz

Washing Machine = JPM Earnings Model

Silver Shorts = Brick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIIgy7KzE5I

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 18:51 | 1173769 NumberNone

They had an SEC baby commercial lined up but found that an overweight baby, half asleep watching porn the entire commercial was too much for most viewers.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:52 | 1173785 alien-IQ

this was...BEAUTIFUL!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:58 | 1173800 mt paul

best laugh of the day..

zooms in on baby

trying to crawl back up

a vagina ...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:56 | 1173803 Hugh_Jorgan

Nah, this is a vid of baby Turbo-Tax Tim before his daddy bought his acceptance to Dartmouth.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:00 | 1173821 cabernet

Hope this goes viral!

http://www.TheAngryGrapes.Com

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:01 | 1173822 SWRichmond

I will never understand the "Jackass" generation's obsession with puking.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:09 | 1173868 sbenard

That's how we're ALL going to feel if we don't take our debt more seriously! A debt debacle is a certainty if we continue this path much longer!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:08 | 1173873 AldoHux_IV

Is that Jack Black's voice?

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:16 | 1173894 tmosley

Ahhh, College Humor. I love those guys. Specifically this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMEe7JqBgvg

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:09 | 1174140 EvlTheCat

Hahaha... I remember when someone posted this as a response to a HarryW. post. Never gets old!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:32 | 1174253 Dirt Rat

I'm fond of their Anti-Kant Campaign. You go to college to understand who's bringing you the message with no need of the sponsor introducing himself.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:22 | 1173945 Natasha Fatale

Fantastic

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:27 | 1173953 mt paul

no silver thread

just spiked a dime to 42.93 $

high of the day..

heck 31 year high ..

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:41 | 1174014 Ganja Jane

ROFLMAO: I needed that!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:39 | 1174019 equity_momo

That is funny.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:51 | 1174063 TideFighter

Etrade causes SIDS.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:52 | 1174072 Yen Cross

I wonder if this little (ASCOT) will lease me a (Star Gate)?

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:03 | 1174127 EvlTheCat

LMFAOFF

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:06 | 1174130 Cthonic

He won't be turning to online poker; pokers stars, absolute poker, and full tilt served today.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 20:04 | 1174772 nowhereman

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/42614092/ns/sports-other_sports/

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:16 | 1174181 gordengeko

Nice! Where do they come up with this.lol

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 18:35 | 1174540 KickIce

And only 64 years to retirement...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 18:44 | 1174569 hannah

9 months ago he was convicted of insider trading.....really inside if you get me, nudge nudge

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 20:14 | 1174786 DizzySailor

This is soooooooooo true!! I was logged on during the flash crash and could not book a trade long or short to save my ass. I'm still laughing at the irony of this and would NEVER trust E-Trade to act in a crisis.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 20:44 | 1174839 treemagnet

I was online with my broker watching my VIX shares take off like a homesick angel - the pain, the incredulous, awe strucked panic and denial in his voice still makes me smile. We don't talk much anymore - he's a permabull and when asked about anything - anything ZH sheds light on, he's fucking clueless - doesn't know and doesn't care cause markets going up.....and thats good, right?!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 21:09 | 1174909 pazmaker

Thanks! I needed the humor after doing my taxes and seeing the fed and the state say I owe them more money...I'm tired of this shit!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 21:16 | 1174924 SuperRay

HAH! Maybe he was irradiated in his first trimester and lost the power to understand that GS HTF will take his mother's milk from him...you're an indentured servant now, dude, and you should have it all paid back by the time you're 85...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 21:46 | 1175009 penisouraus erecti