Europe: Stereotypically Uncut

Tyler Durden's picture

Everyone knows what Europe looks like on an actual political map: there are two or three countries in the center that are stable, and about 10 in the periphery that will be bankrupt very soon. The generic map is so boring we won't even show it. Luckily, courtesy of visual artist Yanko Tsvetkov, we have some European maps that are sure to enliven any cocktail hour. Note for the sensitive: these are not what one would call politically correct.

And yes, the level of homogeneity that makes up the "Union" is truly staggering.

General European stereotypes:


Europe according to America


Europe according to France


Europe according to Germany


Europe according to Italy

Italy According to Posh Italians

Europe according to Britan

Europe According to Bulgaria

Europe According to Gay Men


Via Mapping Stereotypes

h/t Konrad

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
QEsucks's picture

 Belligerently Brilliant.

 + 1000

Dr. Engali's picture

Now that is funny.

nmewn's picture

Quick, what's the capital of Thanksgiving...LOL.

Hephasteus's picture

They keep changing names.

Thier biggest city is even hard to figure out.

nmewn's picture

Hell I thought it was Ankara...goes to show American ignorance I guess ;-)

What's up with the Chekoslovakia (spelling?)...just about every map has porn happening there...SEC been outsourced there or what?...LOL.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam.

I'm sorry to have missed that.

nmewn's picture

Another time...another place...but like alot of things (absinthe, hash, pick your poison) it can make you blind in more ways than one ;-)

Hephasteus's picture

Ankara, Angora oh wait I think that's a sweater. I don't even bother to keep up.

nmewn's picture

"I don't even bother to keep up."

Same here.

Seen an inference (by omission?) on was all very well done ;-)

I'll leave it there...chuckling to myself.

SeeYa Hep

Fred Hayek's picture

I was told this one years ago:

In heaven,

the english greet you

the french do the cooking

the italians provide the entertainment

and the germans organize things


In hell,

the french greet you

the english do the cooking

the germans provide the entertainment

and the italians organize things

dogbreath's picture

Hell is:

where the mechanics are french

the cooks are english

and all the policemen are german

Fred Hayek's picture

These seem true but I like the way that my version points out how simple are the changes making sulfur of ambrosia.

Matto's picture

Ha! just finished a 3 month tour of it all.

Miss Expectations's picture

So funny!  Many years ago I was in a hospital in Bologna.  They asked me where I'd been traveling.  They asked if I'd been to Africa.  I told them no, I just came up from Brindisi.  They said, "Same thing."'s a funny video John Pinette "France & Italy"

percolator's picture

Thanks for the link, very funny.

percolator's picture

Those maps are funny and if you've got European friends they'll tell there's truth in all of them.

themosmitsos's picture


I SWEAR to God I almost DIED laughing ... and as  Greek, I thought we'd get picked on a LOT more ... hairy noisy people was NOT even HALF bad!

Let me CONGRATULATE whoever made this,not only for HYSTERICAL AWESOMENESS, but for the multitude of funny historical trivia "old border" re:Germany,"white russians" & "virgin killers" re:France, Urheimat/Kapalikarsi Re:Bulgaria,etc. Certain things being constant was great,like Vikings, & weed, etc.

The funniest parts for me, that destroyed me, were, in order of funniness to me: A) "EiffelReich," "Upper Romania" ==> LOL

B) "Military Porn" re Hungary [all the porn references were great,about Hungary/Czech] ===> LMAO

C) "Resident Evil" JUST DIED LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU, Saving all these and passing them along!

ps: "Evil Federated Empire of Europe" OUSTANDING!



nmewn's picture

Can't wait for the sequel.

Toothless crackers...bubbleheaded Kalifornicuns...snob noreasters...welfare queens, should be a hoot...ROTFL.

Lothar the Rottweiler's picture

I'm a wordnerd (where is our resident wordsmith hiding?) and this was simply brilliant.  One of the finest satirical pieces this old dawg has ever laid eyes one.

Well played, sir, very well played.

Mercury's picture


This tradition is long and grand but I did get a kick out of this one in particular about 10 yrs. ago...and I don't even spend that much time in NYC:


Hulk's picture

+1320! Gulf of ABBA and Strait Homos, LOL

Do the states!

MarkTwainsMustache's picture

Headline of the year...great stuff

Occams Parsimony's picture

Seriously funny stuff. Kudos to Fred Hayek, that gave me an immediate laugh.

Paladin en passant's picture

Funny as hell.  Thanks.

alagon's picture

LOL @ Resident Evil!

gwar5's picture

That was hilarious. gracias

cbaba's picture

soo funny, congratulations to who ever made this, its Hilarius:))


barkingbill's picture

this is a load of shit. you could make much better farcical maps about america land of fkin idiots. 

jippie's picture

glad everyone is liking this,

I couldn't stop laughing when I first looked at it (it was one of the daily recommendations on

took ZH a while to put this out, given that I sent it to them a couple of days ago.



Sudden Debt's picture

These maps are just great :)


I've saved them all :)

And it sure does look like EVERYBODY LOVES BELGIUM!!!


scratch_and_sniff's picture

I think they just omitted Belgium due to matters of taste...i mean, who wants to bring up peadophilia in a light hearted expression of racial horseplay?

Djirk's picture


THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Hilarious - the Italian map should perhaps be made official with the minor correction that Corsica is perhaps more closely associated with the Genoese then their French connection.

Although Pictish neolithic people with a Italian culture speaking French is a bit messy and is perhaps difficult to express in political geography.

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Deleted - in the interests of European harmony and well being.

sanmartinian's picture

Excellent ! Do it more!

sanmartinian's picture

Excellent ! Do it more!

DonS's picture


LMAO just too funny! Thanks for posting.


Young's picture

I'm easily amused :P giggiddi

laosuwan's picture

Actually, europe has much much bigger problems

Dismal Scientist's picture

Sure, but why be a killjoy on this thread ?

ExploitTheMarket's picture


hysterical! almost choked on my tea when I looked at the France map.