eVeRYTHiNG You Need To KNoW aBouT FaCeSHNooK

williambanzai7's picture



Here it is, everything you need to know about FaceShnook and more... 


Did you know our hero was born in 1984?







Lives of Others











Count Graphula's secret formula...



And last but not least, Zero Hedge's most popular Faceshnook home page... 




[All images and cartoons by WB7; Infographics sourced as indicated]


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G-R-U-N-T's picture

One more observation Sir WilliamBanzai. As you can see victims of facebook facelessness can often develop other more severe pathologies.


williambanzai7's picture

That was a nice disturbing movie ;-)

G-R-U-N-T's picture

It was indeed.

The whole movie had a kind of malignant morbid ambiance of violation . It tugged a bit at my youthful innocents while darkly bringing to memory my capricious curiosity of life which got me into a bit of trouble from time to time. 

williambanzai7's picture

I was mesmerized by it. A masterpiece. But not for Christmas ;-) 

G-R-U-N-T's picture

Hm...William....Is FAD and ZHAD in the future DSM-V Future Manual?

williambanzai7's picture

If Pharma comes up with a pill for it it will ;-)

williambanzai7's picture

Psycho Synthesis. Wil listen later ;-)

whoopsing's picture

Great work BTW Bill! You focus on some very valid point's. Keep 'em coming!

whoopsing's picture

It can be a very useful vehicle to communicate issue's if used properly,esp. on a local level,it's a great way to get the word out to people.ZH constantly remind's us of the power of the big guy's,but FB can help the little guy.We have been shaking up local politic's here,and I can attribute at least some of the success to a FB presence.

Common_Cents22's picture

classmates.com really screwed up as they were probably the first large social networking platform.  The wanted to charge users for access and missed the whole FB forest looking thru the freemium trees.

FB is a fun toy for people at first, reconnecting w/ friends, old friends, family etc..but then is pretty much put on the back burner.   Depending on how it is regulated from the inside/outside(govt) it can be a real valuable way to disseminate information quickly in a meaningful way since what you post is more credible to your circle of friends.

williambanzai7's picture

Yes it can be used for productive purposes. But in the meantime it has replaced TV as the idiot box of choice. Classmates was run by morons who never got it ;-) 

Racer's picture

I have better things to do with my time, I have never been interested in faceless book..... I spend my time on ZH instead :)

williambanzai7's picture

It is really for kids. And kids grow up and have families etc and lose interest in this kind of thing.

minus dog's picture

I don't use it.  I'm not going to use it.  Most people's social networking pages are stupid-easy to gain access to, and a whole host of typical (and often, publicly visible) features have wonderful side effects such as letting the whole world know where you live, what you have, and when they can come steal it.

But it, or something like it, is not going away.  Individual sites, platforms, or software might come and go, but as long as we have a functional internet (or equivalent) the general idea is here to stay.  A big reason for this is that it allows people in office jobs to chatter and waste time while still pretending to work.  Who sits in front of computers all day, and can afford smart phones and data plans that allow them to access social networking sites?  Hint: it isn't children. 

Andy_Jackson_Jihad's picture

I disagree.  Myspace was the big thing for millenials Zuckerwhatever's age but they have since moved to FB.  So have their parents.

I've had a barely used FB account for years.  2 years ago I started seeing a few older coworkers on it.  Last month my Aunt friended me.  Its more than just a fad.  It actually is a decent way to stay in touch with family members BECAUSE you are grown up and have a family.

williambanzai7's picture

I have an aunt who just hooked back up with her relatives in NZ after 40 years. But I think this is a phenomena of the internet, not just Facebook. 

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Facebook = The Beast

Zuckerberg is Scull and Bones.

Alexgee's picture

William, this is by far your best post (I read every one of them), absolutely hysterical, but at the same time revealing of the pathetic state of our society. Keep up the good work.

williambanzai7's picture

Tnx Alexgee. I have fun with the cartoons and the parody pages ;-)

Dirtt's picture

Brilliant.  To quote Joshua:  The only way to win is to not play the game.

Facebook.  Global thermal nuclear war.  What's the difference?  At least the latter wipes the idiots out.

williambanzai7's picture

Not to play the game...you are right! ;-)

optimator's picture

Never went near Sugarman's site, Zero's a much better investment of time I'm sure.  Government monitors everything, "He who monitors everything, monitors nothing".

Bob's picture

Glad to see a resurrection of The Bernank's facebook page, Banzai--that was a gd classic! 

Nice and timely piece.

williambanzai7's picture

I am thinking about doing a version 2.0 ;-)

velobabe's picture

wish you would do an imaginary facebook profile for you and tyler. just a fun one. probably can't, too revealing.

williambanzai7's picture

I suppose I could do one for Joe McSurvivalist CFA, a fictional ZH reader ;-)

velobabe's picture

B O R e i n g

do you know anything about japanese war fans?

bad ass, just plain ole bad MoFo ass†

DollarMenu's picture

Since I have no dealings/no account with Facebook,

your information is a revelation.

Is this the reason for the little 'hand god' they are all constantly praying to? 

Thanks WB7.


williambanzai7's picture

You are not missing anything. If you are engaged in an activity (scientific or artistic collaboration for example) there are other much better and platforms to connect users.

Facebook without a purpose, is really just a form of digital exhibitionism or self promotion.

Joe Davola's picture

I spent so much time reading this post my crops died!

Joe Davola's picture

We'll see how Alice B. Toklas recipe turns out.

velobabe's picture

well i think it is just another insecurity feature for people in general. like how many friends do you have. i don't have any. i use to have a few i could trust. in general you can't trust anyone except yourself. i probably think most FB people are pretty insecure and clueless, how people just prefer to use you for anything they want. men for sex from woman, woman financial security from men, profiling for personal benefits.

that is way i enjoy zerohedge being my community. might be over tomorrow. can't attach to anything, detachment is true freedom. learn it by losing enough, property, lover's, parents, and family. i really can't imagine how truly empty, most of these millions facers are. feel sorry they can get off on all this virtual nonsense shit.

i know you all are my fantasy friends, but completely know your not here to harm.

williambanzai7's picture

We really don't know what the impact will be of all these people advancing through life knowing exactly what all their contacts from school etc are doing.

Those who build and maintain a strong network of life long friends (I don't mean silly FB friends) will probably be empowered. 

Mercury's picture

...or what the impact will be of all these people making troves of private information publicly available forever or Facebook actively combing through it and selling it.

williambanzai7's picture

That too, but we already know that troves of information about all of us are already being put to use.

Ironic that Zuckerberg was born in 1984. Very very ;-)

IQ 145's picture

 Good grief. I had no idea how fortunate I was to have completely avoided all so called mass "culture". And, no, you cannot be my "friend".

cougar_w's picture

My 15yo daughter got big into FB at one point. My wife changed the password to her account recently to lock her out. Daughter asked her to because it was too time consuming. Now, no FB for her.

My kids know how to think for themselves.

I have a FB page I think, because an outfit I once worked for needed me to code up a FB app for them.

I hate FB. I actually hate it. You hear me Zuckerberg? I hate what you have done. I'm a web application engineer and I hate your application and how you use it.

IQ 145's picture

 you're damn right. it's horrifying.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Yes but........if you're a foreign or domestic intelligence service or one of the masters of the universe don't you just love how Facebook has become such a huge consumer of personal time as well as the number one teenage and young adult distraction.

After all, if all those millions weren't clicking away on photos or friending each other, they might just take a closer look around themselves, notice they're headed to hell in a basket, and promptly hit the streets.

cougar_w's picture

The Anon "collective" (heh) that took on the establishment over the treatment of Assange and WikiLeaks had a FB presence and lost it. They were taken down.

Guess Zucker-borg didn't want their personal information?

Maybe not until there is someone wants to sell Guy Fawkes masks on Facebook.

JlM CRAMER's picture

How did they lose and how were they taken down?

It was done to garner more media attention to the whole situation which I believe was accomplished.