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Exclusive: Marla Speaks! (OK, she's done a lot of speaking before this, but never to Benjamin Dover)
The root of my fascination with Marla Singer is difficult to trace. It's certainly not her extensive writings, which exhibit an overbearing reliance on facts, logical reasoning and wit. Nor is it her highly opinionated opinions. From her misguided idea that free market capitalism is inconsistent with the massive government interventions of the past year to her dangerous notions about the benefits of anonymous speech in a free society to her inexplicable contempt for the machinations of financial firms, she's been on the wrong side of one issue after another. The fact that she has degrees from not one, not two, but three liberal-biased Ivy League universities doesn't exactly speak well of her either. (And as if her miseducation needed underlining, the business school section of her resume lists her as "Sole Member of: The 'Didn't Have Sex with the Co-Chair of the Investment Banking Club' Club.") True, she did serve the cause of the finance industry for several years as Vice President of a private equity firm, but she's gone rogue -- e.g., she describes her former firm as having "not so hidden disdain for the rest of the industry but entirely similar practices." Worst of all, she's now one of the driving forces behind the renegade website ZeroHedge. So what's her appeal? When you get right down to it, pretty much just her photo. Killjoys may claim that's just a picture of one of her fictional online personas, but just like the stock market, I never let reality get in the way of a good fantasy. So my original goal in contacting Marla wasn't scoring an interview. But when my persistent romantic supplications were met first with incredulity, then with anger and finally with a letter from ZeroHedge's counsel mentioning something about a restraining order (methinks the lady doth protest too much, if you know what I mean), I decided that Marla just wasn't my type. Never one to let injured male pride and festering personal resentment interfere with my journalistic responsibilities, I settled for requesting an interview. In return for my contractual stipulation "never to contact Ms. Singer again under any circumstances", Marla enthusiastically agreed. Because for some reason she refused to be in the same room with me or even speak with me by telephone, we conducted the interview via email: BNDIII: You're a former finance professional and now accomplished blogger who has been associated with several popular websites. Why did you choose to become affiliated with a tripe rag like ZeroHedge? MS: Well, I'm not sure I can accept your premise, but that aside, I liked that fact that Zero Hedge was a bit, quite a bit "wonkier" than anything else out there. Rather than worry about turning people away because of the depth and complexity of content, Zero Hedge was happily pouring out very detailed stuff. I was attracted to a blog that actually caused me to pull my dusty copy of "The Bible of Options Strategies" off my shelf again. Also, after reading one of my other extensively researched and detailed blog posts a reader suggested I should join Zero Hedge where I would "fit right in." He/she was right. BNDIII: There are many people -- including at least one of the parties to this interview -- who believe that women have no place in high finance. Is that why you turned to blogging? MS: No, actually it was because someone was insisting there was no place for women in blogging. BNDIII: The ZeroHedge masthead lists you as "Foil." Is that a title or a job description? MS: Yes. BNDIII: As the only female at ZH, are you ever subjected to sexual harassment, and if so, please describe in explicit detail (and attach any photos/videos). MS: Well, first of all, I'm not the only female at Zero Hedge. At the very least you've forgotten to include Jana, a staff member, not to mention a number of female contributors. Second, as an avid collector of British prep-school spanking videos and ABBA records, I am not easily offended. Someone did once say "You're a 9.5 which is a British 12," but that suggested something other than a "10 scale" so I wasn't quite sure how to respond. BNDIII: Um, where were we? I got distracted there for a moment. MS: Something about photos and video? BNDIII: That's not helpful. MS: Do you need a minute alone? BNDIII: No, I've recovered. You've assumed different aliases on different websites, including "Muffie Benson-Perella", "E-P", and now "Marla Singer". Are you trying to evade the authorities or do you just have a cowardly fetish for anonymity? MS: Well I'm not going to comment on rumors about pen names. Quite obviously my name is related to the prevailing "Fight Club" theme on the site. I do have quite a problem with authority though, now that you mention it. BNDIII: If you ever want to work through that father-figure issue, I'm good at role-playing. MS: I had a professor who used to say that all the time but I don't actually play Dungeons & Dragons. BNDIII: Speaking of fetishes, what exactly do you and Tyler do with those yellow dish-washing gloves? MS: Actually, that house on Paper street was absolutely filthy. You wouldn't believe how hard he had to scrub some of the bathtubs. BNDIII: I'm beginning to understand why you're the "foil." MS: It's an honorary title. BNDIII: You don't seem to appreciate the positive role played by respectable traditional media outlets like CNBC. But as Gordon Gekko once said: the most valuable commodity I know of is infotainment. By definition, doesn't that mean CNBC is enriching the retail investor? MS: If by "enrich" you are using the sort of definition that permits one to say that bowling has a "rich and vibrant cultural history," I think you are probably right. Otherwise, it is pretty tough to make that connection. As for "positive role," even a lame horse pulls, I suppose. BNDIII: Although I try to read ZeroHedge as little as possible, I've noticed that you host some sort of subliminal propaganda program on the radio. Is that part of ZH's master plan to take over the world? MS: I can only assume you are referring to "Radio Zero," the randomly aired radio program we produce at "Studio Zero" some weekends. Actually, connecting the words "master plan" with anything related to Radio Zero is probably a mistake. Mostly, Radio Zero's purpose now is testing the streaming servers we've been working on and setting up infrastructure for some future products we are planning. Eventually, we hope that Radio Zero will host real-time (or as close as you can get) market commentary and analysis. Until then, we occasionally throw together musical programming for anyone who cares to tune in. BNDIII: Is it true that when you heard the Obama Administration was unilaterally subordinating Chrysler's senior secured debtholders you said, "My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school"? MS: I'm not actually sure. I was taking a lot of medication at the time. BNDIII: Since I can tell from reading the blog how busy Tyler is, will you call me the next time you need a free breast exam? MS: Why in the world would I agree to something like that when all I really need to do to get free breast exams is wait for the taxpayers to pick up the tab? BNDIII: You're an elusive interviewee, Marla, but thanks for your time. MS: You're welcome. And it's Ms. Singer to you.
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I want nothing more than to fight Marla, one on one. She would make a wonderful foe (best friend).
Marla,
Im interested in knowing about at least one of the liberal schools youve gotten a degree from. Any chance one of them was from Canada's 'single ivy league school' ?
Ben - Don't let a little thing like a restraining order or a contract stip get in the way of true lust. Keep pounding away at her...she'll eventually come around.
It was my attempt to do just that that got me into trouble in the first place.
By the way, are you named after the goddess or the Berlin nightclub?
bravo! Artist says: "This site is really genius.
The Bush years couldn't paper over the Mad Max
future we knew was coming. Well done.
Marrrrrrrla...
is there a link I am missing on ZH to the prep school spankies?
Ben Dover, cute. Are you related to the video star Ben Dover? MS: Tackhead, Loreena McKennitt, Kate Bush, Ani DiFranco, Lucinda Williams, Rebekah Pulley, Billie Holiday, Sean Colvin, Richard Thompson, and yes Black Sabbath. No intelligent life on Wall Street, Scotty, but in music....
No, but I'm told there is a certain physical similarity.
Ben Dover, cute. Are you related to the video star Ben Dover? MS: Tackhead, Loreena McKennitt, Kate Bush, Ani DiFranco, Lucinda Williams, Rebekah Pulley, Billie Holiday, Sean Colvin, Richard Thompson, and yes Black Sabbath. No intelligent life on Wall Street, Scotty, but in music....
It all makes sense to me now. The beatings will hurt for less time but the sting will be more intense.
AWESOME.... Ms Singer
did i just wake up in the episode of the twilight zone.
everything is weird, and this interview doesn't help.
everybody was kung fu fighting btw
This is incorrect, learn your metric systems dear Sir. Everyone knows that the rate is 1:3.
So if Marla is 9.5 on the rest-of-the-world-index-of-hotness she is something like 28.5 on GB-index-of hotness.
Alright - the joke's on me. Literally. I get it now. That's some funny shit, that Muffie on Markets. Well done.
For a second you almost had me.
Having just come from "Muffie on the Markets", I am... taken aback, to say the least.
I'm just going to have to assume the whole thing was you being facetious. (As the British say, "Taking the piss.")
Cramer? Timothy Sykes?
Making LEH @ 44 your very first trade? AFTER BSC went belly up in flames?!?!
Jaw, meet floor. Floor, jaw.
She said breast.
Marla,
You're one of the only broads that has piqued both my intellect and derelict.
May I say that I appreciate both. In this impersonal world, it is unfortunate that I shall never be able to meet you.
Alas, such is life...
Some funny stuff. A bit too stridently cool. I am more into the question of will it be fire or ice. Still this is as good a place to spend the time until we see the whites of their eyes.
Don't you mean whites of their lies?
Marla,
I think it's time you swing by the office on Mott and submit a little M B-P wisdom, particularly because your uncle died last week.
You're very much missed,
Lowly Assistant
When you mention "the bible of option strategies" I assume you mean John Hull's textbook? Is there a more lucid description in a book?
In my opinion there's only one "option bible": "The Complete Guide to Option Pricing - Second Edition" by dr. Espen Gaarder Haug.
I also recommend the follow-up "Models on Models"
Ms. Singer for President and Ben Dover can be her running mate!
Captcha question:
Zerohedge - Marla = Less than zero
William? Have you been playing in the blue paint again?
People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles. This is the first thing I hear when I come back to the city.
Ever read stuff from Taye Kit?
You guys should team up.
Ben Dover and Taye Kit just has a nice ring to it.
What is this Fight Club they mention?
I know one or two of you like my comments, so I just want to say hello to my fans. I've been up to a lot of recent:
1) I have been fighting hard from inside of UBS to keep "my friends" out of the hands of the IRS. It's been hard trying to figure out where my loyalties reside. I do have some "friends" at the IRS, but they do not "owe me one"...
2) Trying my damnest to NOT read Palin's book. I've even had someone ask me to sign their copy (because I was "part of the team"). What a bitch! I told her to fuck off.
3) Working on a new article for the Wall Street Journal which speaks against Joe Biden's comments about our great country being in a depression. I end the article saying that we were at severe risk of being in a depression, but now it's history (which has already been said by almost everyone else).
4) Grandkids, grandkids, grandkids. The life of an old man!
5) Thinking about investing in some of these "gold for cash" companies. I think 2010 may be a good year for them!
-- Phil
Yes Phil,
And you've got a great wife BUT you better nail a board to your a$$ so you don't fall in.
We don't want to see you on the back of a milk carton as missing. OK?
Phil Gramm! Even his friends don't like him.
- Molly Ivins
Only one or two?
I'll try and keep that in mind, so I know who's posts to skip on this board! :>)
You should get Michelle Caruso of CNBC to work with you on UBS but stay well clear of California's Jerry Brown! He thinks $56 million is real money, but to you that's what, a speaking engagement for those against the antitrust amendment or maybe the Supreme Court case to allow Corporations the right to directly contribute to political campaigns?
I appreciate your insights and perspective. You are a point of light sir.
GREAT!!!!
ROTFLMAO! It always amazes me how some people have a name and avatar the seems to almost never come out until the exact moment where it will have the greatest impact.
Great!
Excellent interview, Marla, we love to spin against the machine with you here and on Radio Zero. Ben, you have to be the funniest guy in the room. Now, if you can just answer one more question for the masses. Are there 1, 2 or 3 Marla's on Zerohedge? (asked not of I, but defended your singular brilliance during the 24+ hr Discount Window Madness on Sunday)
...And Ben, you need to think long and hard at what you've just done!
Ahh Ben Dover whose words he pounds out on the keyboard play like the glockenspiel in the broadband world.
Gotta luv it
Always wondered who the poor woman in that photo really was.
That's her. Why you tryin' to bust up my action?
Bloody perfect all the way around. Who expected anything less, raise your hand.
Ben and Ms. Singer - well played. :)
Woof
That would be ...Roof!
In Rottiespeak yes it would be.
Roof roof roof!
Just for fun, a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o22eIJDtKho
Cash, baby, Cash. :)
Ruh Row, I jus went on the carpet 8-)
why is she always turning up everywhere I go?
Probably because you are stalking her. At least you have good taste in women though.
I guess, especially after reading previous comments, that this is not "infortainment"; but, rather (no relation to Dan) "entertrainment'. I must be missing something, 'cause I feel like a cracker without cheese. Here's the whine.
The unbearable lightness of being
ZeroHedge has an uncanny way of manipulating my mood from livid to mirthful and back with every gradation in between. Now, if somehow, this power could be used against evil.
Wonderful. Maybe Michelle 600CC's would be willing to submit to the breast exam?