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Just in case all those long, multisyllabic words like "integrity, honesty, ethicality, and client-focus" confuse you...From William Banzai
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Poor bastard
Inglorious Banksta
I laughed so hard I almost lost consciousness!
Epic post!
Parents Signature: Warren Buffet
LOL
I LOL'd on that too CD. But I think it's only fitting that a scoundrel like Tourre have a criminal mastermind like Mr. Buffett as his father.
It's all good the BL(B)S reports GDP is up 3.2%(LOL). So I geuss we're all safe to go back to our Coca Colas, Big Mac's, and gulf coast raw oysters with extra hydrocarbon!
The creator of this gets a Gold Star !
Good work, Banzai !
Or maybe those oysters will have enough BTU content to cook themselves?
Thank you, William.
I always hated these kind of bs evaluations that would be instituted after 6 mos of having consultants sniffing around. Poor Fab. Never, never check "I did not reach my goals". Also, you should have brought an English interpreter to capital hill with you and pretended you didn't speak English.
He really is being put though the ringer by his beloved firm. All young Goldl-liars should be reflecting on the implications of this.
I hope my kid never comes home with a report card like this. Funny chit!
You mean from the school that is part of the totally rotten and corrupt government-controlled education system? A "good" report card today only means that your kid is stifling his free thinking and creativity faster and learning government propaganda better than the others.
+100 - good little sheeples... just listen to pretty Mrs. Marks and you'll get a fruit-roll at snack-time.
This kind of comments makes me laugh.
If your kid was on the same path as this guy, you'd probably be the first to push him/her up.
Thankfully my kids are both artists.
Unsophisticated Fab did not realize in time why all those GS bigwigs were hovering over his shoulder and whispering in his ear, yet had a 27yo be the one with his name on the deal.
Sois pas idiot, mon vieux. COP A PLEA. Go into Witness Protection!
It really is a Yakuza organization.
Go on boyz and girls - keep toiling away like slaves if one day you want to be as "successful" as Uncle Warren [at least that's what your ruling oligarchs would have you believe], except, of course it is not toiling that will get you there but a corrupt and criminal mind like Uncle Warren's.
It's important for the control system to highlight the occasional salve escapee in order to give all the others hope that they may also "one day" escape into the life of luxury. But most of the time they simply point to the rich and famous as "the" way to be, that all should aspire to be that way, that this is the ultimate in human achievement and must be emulated.
Warren should cut his losses...
hahahaha that was good. Mind you, when the going gets touch, Fab will turn on a dime and screw over GS.
On a serious note, while Fabulous Fab doesn't impress me, I too wonder why Goldman released his emails and not those of others who testified. Anyone else get the feeling Goldman will use him as a scapegoat and turn him into "pâté de foie gras"?
I also felt the same way. Judging from the fabulous love affair The Fab has with himself, I suspect he doesn't have many office friends and thus was the least likely to be missed at the Xmas party.
Just another clue to the true character of the species: Cephalopod Fraudicus
funny
I'm sending this out to the usual suspects...
QUANTITATIVE PONZINOMICS FOR DUMMIES:
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/04/quantitative-ponzinomics-for-...
Thanks for the idea Tyler!
That is awesome!
LOL
WB7, I love your work.
Just one small part of the cartoon he links to.
"Easy to follow examples of how to perform multiple penetrations on a single client in one transaction."
I love this site and all the posts and comments!
Your work is excellent, and hilarious.Thank you very much!
WB7,
I've wondered if you mind me occasionally posting your cartoons etc. While it gives everyone a chance to see your work, it might reduce traffic to your web site. Do you have a preference?
Please do by all means. Spreading the word for the anti-swindling movement is the goal. Just post a link back to my site for attribution.
Cheers CD and keep an eye out for my Labor Day post(s)
Quantative Ponzinomics! That's very funny! And I assume it comes with a forward by Benny B?
Madoff is really a metaphor for the whole financial system
Just looked at Tourre' s FINRA report. school in france, 9 mos. at stanford then joining goldman only 2 months before 9/11/01. sec suit seems pretty clear cut, essentially failure to disclose material info. sounds like the guys in michael lewis' LIAR'S POKER, and basically the same instruments (mortgage, but not synthetic cdo mortgage!) sold to the same clueless european buyers. Torre earned GS a $15 million dollar commie for the paulson trade. hope we get to find out how much fab netted on that.
I was pondering whether you would never see a European like Fabrice selling this junk to American institutional investors. He can barely communicate in plain English.
Now that is THE FUNNY!!
Warren is beating the drum again. He's such a good dad.
Warren has heartburn...
......williambanzai7, you made my Friday..thanks...:-)
I am going to throw this one in on the origins of Ponzinomics as a special TGIF present for Zero Hedgors. I dates back to DAVOS 2009:
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2009/01/for-immediate-release-davos-s...
your good†
at first when i would go to your links, i was challenged with your content, of course.
now see your true Whole creative brilliance, cheerio.
Tnx Velobabe
Every reader is my most important reader!
Did anyine catch the "Email from Wall Street" that's making the rounds?
AN EMAIL FROM WALL STREET, APRIL 30, 2010
(WilliamBanzai7)
"We are Wall Street. It's our job to steal and swindle other people's money. Whether it's a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of imported synthetic CDO toilet tissue, it doesn't matter. We would trade baseball cards for our own mothers-in-law if it were profitable, but our trophy silicone implantee spouses won't allow it.
We didn't hear all you stupid dumbass American commoners complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone's 401k doubled every 3 years providing ample target opportunities for bloated Wall Street asset management fees. Just like gambling, its not a problem for us because its "heads we win, tails you lose." I've never heard of anyone going to jail because they scammed Uncle Sam out of Billions of Dollars.
[WB7: But you soon will]
Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat on our algo churning Fed financed prop trading books, the government and the average Joes are still looking for accountability. God knows why there should be for anything we on Wall Street have done. Well, here we are.
Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you're only going to hurt yourselves. What's going to happen when we can't find jobs on the Street anymore? You're going to have to finance our food stamps and unemployment benefits in perpetuity because we don't know how to do anything but play computer assisted video games on trading screens and write "Fab"ulous power point swindles targeting strudel brained German bankers.
Guess what else: We're going to take your burger flipping and gas pumping jobs. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later because we can't stand being with our own spouses. We're used to not getting up to pee because we learned how to drink our own piss at Ivy League frathouse parties. We don't take an hour or more for a lunch break (at least that's what the Wall Street madam is paid to say). We don't demand a union because we own Congress and don't need one. We don't retire at 50 with a pension; we absaquatulate with our miniature robber barron stashes at the age of 40. We eat what we kill and we kill everything we meet and when the only thing left to eat is AIG's putrid Maiden Lane portfolio, we'll eat that too.
For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping?
[WB7 (a) please teach your own Third Grade brats, (b) do they teach landscaping 101 at Sing Sing?]
We're going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America.
[WB7: Sounds like this dude definitely got rear ended by someone in third grade]
Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I'll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.
[WB7: With a corked bat we're sure]
So now that we're going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we're going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren't going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We're going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.
[WB7: Please send this message to Michael Bloomberg ASAP]
The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it's really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.
[WB7: Got news for you piss head, the people in the street are going to rip your pencil necked geek head off and after shitting down your neck, they'll be ordering Banksta Miniature Rocky Mountain Oysters for lunch.
We aren't dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Mainstreet our food supply…will he? and will they?"
[WB7: See you in the next world baby...and don't be late!]
wapiti balls†