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Failure Friday?

Marla Singer's picture




 

True, we did hear catatonic murmurings through the bathroom door before the announcement last Friday as Sheila Bair bobbed her head left and right rhythmically on the floor of her shower, knees pulled into her chest, rocking back and forth, hypnotically repeating "...absolutely safe... ...fully protected... ...ever lost a penny of insured deposits... ...none ever will... ...none ever will..." over and over again as the soothing hot water concealed the tears that would otherwise be streaming down her face.

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Uh, Chairwoman Bair?  Five minutes to air."

*No Answer*

"I've got your lucky penny here. Do you want to rub it?"

*Chanting Stops*

"Pooh Bear is out here waiting on your chair...."

*Silence*

"The cafeteria has butterscotch pudding tonight, your favorite!"

*Water Turns Off*

"I'm coming goddamn it!"

Strangely, silence is all we hear today.  Anti-psychotics?  Sedatives?  A whole bottle of them?  That there is good staff work.

Unfortunately, Upjohn is not public.

 

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Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:04 | 122865 bonddude
bonddude's picture

If she puts out another video like the last one,

I'll be sure that Moonies or the People's Church have taken over.

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 14:01 | 123485 mgarrett84
mgarrett84's picture

Ah the moonies,  a fun destination in stamford when you first get your drivers license.  Very fond memories of the moonies.  

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:04 | 122866 deadhead
deadhead's picture

Pure brilliance. In a league with Stewart and Colbert. Maybe even better.

I needed that laugh. Thanks!

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:20 | 122894 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Marla can sure paint a picture can't she... not too shabby!

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:08 | 122867 deadhead
deadhead's picture

hey, hey! we got one already in Sparta, Georgia.

edit...looks like a minnow, don't have DIF hit yet.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:11 | 122880 Zombie Investor
Zombie Investor's picture

Betting on a Georgia bank going down is like money in the bank.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:18 | 122888 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

you mean imaginary Fed Reserve printed money in an imaginary fascist banking system backed by an imaginary insurer who calls themselves the FDIC

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 20:26 | 123076 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

No, I think he means 1 Sextillion Pengo, errr I meant Fiatscos.  Or 100 Trillion ZIM$.  What's it all matter among friends?

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:20 | 122891 deadhead
deadhead's picture

+1

i am disappointed that we have not seen more out of fla, cali, az.

maybe the airfare is still too high to ship the fdic crews out of d.c. cross country

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 20:38 | 123088 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Looks like a few FDIC crews have been permanently relocated to Georgia, which is within an afternoons drive to Florida.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 21:39 | 123136 radarsentinel
radarsentinel's picture

Kinda like an election.Got to wait for the polls, er doors to close and all the workers to go home.Don't want a run on the bank to get all the cash that isn't there.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:20 | 122893 Green Sharts
Green Sharts's picture

Likely only an appetizer before the main courses, only $58 million estimated cost to DIF on $157 million in assets.

 

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:33 | 122918 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Green - I hope you caught the action yesterday.  Perhaps a misconception was answered....

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/guest-post-i-apologize-david-viniar-and...

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:07 | 122869 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

She just has to keep the rules straight.

I Before E Except After C.

http://www.rhapsody.com/yaz/upstairs-at-erics

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:20 | 122892 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Perhaps some dialectical behavior therapy would help.

http://www.silverhillhospital.org/

 

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:27 | 122903 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Marla, you forgot to weave the song from "The Crying Game" into the scene.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:27 | 122905 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Marla, you forgot to weave the song from "The Crying Game" into your scene.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 19:46 | 123029 faustian bargain
faustian bargain's picture

ew. just had another disturbing visual.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:28 | 122906 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Can someone direct me to a bullish board with somewhat the same attitude as this one, and with equally valid arguments, philosophy, and most of all Dufresne and RoboTrader trophy pix, for going long?

I've been on these bearish ones for nearly a year and it's costing me a lot of psychosomatic illnesses,nervous eye tics, lost friends and accomplices, not to mention so many missed financial opportunities I'm beginning to think that the bear boards are yet another plot by Goldman Sucks to make money off me somehow just by tuning in.

URL's accepted as well as just names for Googling.

Please.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 19:47 | 123032 Josey Wales
Josey Wales's picture

Check CNBC's website, I'm sure you can find some great boards there, maybe tips on how to keep your cheerleading costume from wearing thin at the knees. 

 

Oh, and you can try making up all your lost money by shorting gold and going long commercial REITs.  Hope that helps!

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 23:16 | 123192 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Try googling "Gold" "Record High" "Failure to deliver" "Tungsten Filled Bars" "COMEX Default" "Backwardation" "TEOTWAWKI" "BOHICA" "We Are Fucked" "We are holly shit fucked" "We are mega shit holy mary mother of god fucked to the Nth Degree"

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:29 | 122909 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Looks like we have our 1st failure of FDIC Friday.

On Friday, November 6, 2009, United Security Bank, Sparta, GA (including the branch that operated as the Bank of Woodstock) was closed by the Georgia Department of Banking and Finance, and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) was named Receiver. No advance notice is given to the public when a financial institution is closed.

http://www.fdic.gov/bank/individual/failed/banklist.html

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:29 | 122910 RockyR
RockyR's picture

damn, marla.  that was intense.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:32 | 122916 deadhead
deadhead's picture

"I'm coming goddamn it!"

Does this count as a double entendre easter egg? 

what's my prize......

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:54 | 122943 Marla Singer
Marla Singer's picture

Oh, you caught that one did you?

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 19:10 | 122968 MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

Well... we know where your mind is Deadhead... I never would have caught that in a million, zillion years... and I think your prize is to have that visualization burned into your mind for the next 10 years  :-)

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 00:26 | 123237 deadhead
deadhead's picture

ouch!

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 02:55 | 123304 MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

whoops DH... no offense meant... came off a little stronger than I intended :-)

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 12:34 | 123452 deadhead
deadhead's picture

oh goodness Minn.....absolutely NO offense taken: actually, quite the opposite....i thought your comment was funny as hell!  Keep 'em coming (pun intended)!!

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 19:28 | 123642 MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

:-)

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 19:38 | 123018 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

I didn't notice the three speed...  perhaps life at the top office aint all it's cracked up to be.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 18:51 | 122933 alexdg
alexdg's picture

Never watched the Sheila Bair message before, she actually says "substantial authority to borrow from the Treasury dept." ending with "in short we cannot run out of money.". Why did she have to say that last phrase? Her speach almost seemed credible, as long as you never look into the numbers. But then she had to spoil it all with that phrase from the book of Bernanke. "A bank is a non-failure event"... Well, when you have over 100 per year and mainstream media doesn't even mention them it at all. I'd say the FDIC is just the "to small to matter" club. Until it matters and it's too late...

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 19:22 | 122986 etrader
etrader's picture

Print baby Print  has replaced drill baby drill.....

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 19:20 | 122987 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

And we have #2: Home Federal in Detroit, MI

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 20:36 | 123083 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

up to four now but the night is young!!!! oh by the
way how about changing these math questions to some
thing we non phd folks can figure out.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 20:37 | 123086 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

up to four now but the night is young!!!! oh by the
way how about changing these math questions to some
thing we non phd folks can figure out.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 20:34 | 123082 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

up to four now but the night is young!!!!!!!! oh by the way you should cut out these math problems especially since i don't have a phd in mathematics.

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 22:37 | 123170 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

Start Menu ---> Calculator

Most of the math problems are around the 7th grade level (or what was the 7th grade level just 20 short years ago).

Fri, 11/06/2009 - 22:42 | 123174 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Agree. This morning I got Blank plus -29 equals -57. Now we all know the correct answer is -28. Yet the blinking thing told me I could not use an answer with three characters. WTF????

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 03:39 | 123316 Stripnomics
Stripnomics's picture

Marla - You are so very Rocked. I think I love you.

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