Federal Reserve Capital LLC; Ben Bernanke Earning Your 2 and 20 With Daily Short Covering Diligence

Tyler Durden's picture

Will someone audit these clowns already please?

From David Rosenberg's piece today:

"When people kid around that the Fed has become another hedge fund now that it is the lender of first, second and last resort — to mention the market-maker for everyone including RVs and mobile homes — it really is no joke at all. See NY Fed in Hiring Spree as Assets Soar. The New York Fed is seeking to bolster its staffing of traders — not research staff, but traders — by nearly 70%!! When will the Fed start hiring investment bankers? That is what we would like to know."

It used to be Loeb and Einhorn scheming and cross-posting on VIC (we jest, the politically correct word here is collaborating). Now it is Bernanke and Blankfein.

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chunkylover42's picture

Methinks you should apply for a trading gig at the NY Fed, Tyler.  Sometimes the only way to bring something down is from the inside.

Anonymous's picture

I somehow doubt Tyler could pass the mustard and get hired, based on his most recent resume activity. But there no doubt are people reading this who would qualify...

This is a good idea.

Anonymous's picture

Tyler's got a "bit" of a success on his hands with Zerohedge that's probably better than anything on most resumes.

VegasBD's picture

Im curious what job you have that affords you all this time? Will you be able to walk away from that job soon because of ZH?


Please tell me you make soap. =)

Bob's picture

That would be the answer.  But can you find a guy who's both qualified and not for sale (if not already bought) anymore? 

Conscience, adventure and real public service anyone . . . ?

handsofmoney's picture
handsofmoney (not verified) Bob Aug 11, 2009 2:20 PM

Perhaps the buying on the long end these past couple days has been on speculation the Fed will increase QE.

1. (used with a singular or plural verb) a system of moral principles: the ethics of a culture.

We just can not compete with the vast amounts of money being used to influence decisions. The Rich says"

good articles; good finance articles ..http://www...

Gilgamesh's picture

This gig is only for ex-Goldman traders who somehow could not turn a profit of at least $1M per day - since returning a profit on taxpayer money is not an objective of the Fed.

D.O.D.'s picture

"Will someone audit these clowns already please?"

Now Tyler, you know the gov't doesn't want to politicize monetary policy, that could be bad for [the Feds'] Business.

Assetman's picture

It sounds like great subject matter for the next round of Congressional hearings:

"Mr Bernanke... why are you primarily hiring traders to support the growth of your institution?  What purpose does it serve?"


JohnKing's picture

That sir, is proprietary.

Assetman's picture

Then, perhaps, we should ask the Russian Mafia. :)

Anonymous's picture

Kudos, works on a few levels....nice.

D.O.D.'s picture

Bernanke - "blah blah blah derivatives, blah blah blah banking institutions, blah blah blah strong dollar policy.  Furthermore, blah blah blah consumer and investor confidence, blah blah blah stabilization, blah blah systemic fallout. "

bbbilly1326's picture

u forgot:  "blah blah blah, remember these things are all very complicated".......

glenlloyd's picture

I can't speak for others...but i wasn't kidding around about this.

MinnesotaNice's picture

Maybe the Fed is gearing itself up to be the new competition for Goldman... I read that story earlier today and there are simply no adequate words to describe my feelings... perhaps Cheeky can think of a few words in his usual "cut through the BS style"... we have fallen down the rabbit hole...

Anonymous's picture

More like getting ready to merge with GS

par4's picture

Any ideas of what to call this economic system?

Anonymous's picture


D.O.D.'s picture

Corporate Feudalism

Anonymous's picture

La Cosa Nostra

Anonymous's picture

Ringling Brothers! and Ben Bernanke circus.

Anonymous's picture


We're Peter.

Anonymous's picture


His at least was in the billions, this one is in quadrillions or some other zillions. Jailing Madoff is just like jailing the little boy taking some gum from the store, while the cashier takes the safe in the back. [if we are going to keep this system, let Madoff out, what the hell]

Anonymous's picture

The Federal Reserve Incorporated works for the banksters. In this late cycle period where the banks have grown too large relative to the underlying economy, their usually symbiotic relationship is late-stage parasitic, like advanced cancer. The Fed's efforts to keep the banks (especially the major ones which control the Fed) afloat (or in GS' case rolling in clover) represent perpetuation of a simple horrible act of thievery of the national wealth; Could it be any clearer?

Bob's picture

No, it  couldn't be any clearer.  Too bad this cancer continues to thrive until the host dies.  And we will die before they release their grip.   

Unless the principled capitalist set (not necessarily an oxymoron) mans up to what's being done in the name of their own beliefs, stops mindlessly waving the flag of American Capitalism, complaining about sharing the wealth on health care and cars for fucking clunkers (the spectre of "socialism"), and confronts the banksters on their own turf, we are divided yet all completely screwed. 

The least we can do is to call them out as the bogus capitalists they are. 

Capitalism is such a potent term.  Why don't we exercise our right to revoke their memberships in this club?

Anonymous's picture

Perhaps the buying on the long end these past couple days has been on speculation the Fed will increase QE. So far the Fed has only added to the assets it is explicitly and implicitly trying to support. It will be fascinating to see how any asset class will react when the Fed withdraws support, but the most reasonable assumption is bad news bears.

Assetman's picture

Good point, but I look at the same thing on its side.

Perhaps, we are seeing a test of another sort.  If the equity markets are in "engineered selloff" mode, what is the effect on Treasury yields (and secondarily, the USD)?

It hasn't been tested as of yet, but so far the trade is working pretty good.  Good enough, in fact, to take off QE for a little while.


Anonymous's picture

Why not work for the FED? It would add valuable experience to your resume - some skills include...

- Immaculate trading record - 100% up days. The FED Never loses.
- Access to inside information with soon to be newly granted super powers on every corporation

svendthrift's picture

Blah. More insider preference. Capitalism is dead.

zeropointfield's picture
zeropointfield (not verified) Aug 11, 2009 11:11 AM

Maybe then you should apply with the Treasury:

A transfer to the U.S. Treasury of the Federal Reserve’s so-called Maiden Lane companies, the three entities it set up in 2008 to hold investments acquired in the rescues of Bear Stearns Cos. and American International Group Inc., “would reduce its exposure to credit risk,” the IMF said.



Anonymous's picture

How did they come up with Maiden Lane as a title?

Anonymous's picture

Maiden Lane is from the Fed's address in Manhattan.

Anonymous's picture

Oh and all this time I thought the name Maiden Lane was intended to symbolize the FED's pure and chaste modus operandi!

Anonymous's picture


this all could not be more flagrant

F*ck you, IMF

Anonymous's picture

Robot Trader, if you are here...
"we" would love to see your intra day market commentary .

andrew123's picture

Tyler, is your last sentence about Loeb and Einhorn cross posting on VIC from credible sources?  I always had the impression that Einhorn was a straight shooter.  Were they sandbagging (pumping positions they wanted to exit) or merely talking about how wonderful each other's ideas were?  I know both alternatives have the same effect of getting the stocks or bond ideas higher, but the former is obviously a lot more objectionable.

Tyler Durden's picture

it was a joke of course. As I have exactly 0 equity interest in Gotham, I have no clue who is behind the ids. Merely meant to indicate how useful a medium like VIC is to intelligent posters (and Bernanke) who may or may not have an interest in the movement of a certain stock.

andrew123's picture

Got it.  I guess I am so jaded at this point that every suggestion of manipulation seems more likely than not to be true.

Anonymous's picture

WTF? Are we going to attempt daytrading our way to prosperity now? I guess that beats raising taxes.... good luck, Ben.

George the baby crusher's picture

Maybe, just maybe, they're getting ready to unload some toxic waste on an unsuspecting public in the middle of a bull run.  No, that couldn't be it.  That would be nasty.  Sorry, edit out my comment please...totally unfounded.


I deserve a spanking.

Anonymous's picture

Tthere are essentially two systems: 1. capitalism 2. everything else. Feudalism is effectively an early communism. Even ancient Rome's Maximus implemented an early form of communism which led to its ultimate demise.

Anonymous's picture

Look wo controls the government: axelrod, ram emmanuel, summers, volker, geitner, orszag, rattner, bloom, feldman, shapiro, bair, cass summstein, pelosi, schumer, franks. Not one Muslim or christian amongst them. What happened to separation of Church and state? When one religion controls the government it is called....Theocracy! we have a Theocracy!

tahoebumsmith's picture

Every traders dream?

The ability to control any givin market in conjuction with printing presses in the back room. Give me a flippin break.

Anonymous's picture

But these traders have no incentive to make money. Are they going to be paid based on PnL? No, because the profits should go to taxpayers and everyone would complain if the traders got huge bonuses. So most of these traders will have no incentive to make profitable trades. Even worse, some of them may be private sector cast-offs, looking to get back in the private sector. In that case, they have a huge incentive to trade with private sector firms to develop relationships, even if that means doing marginal trades.

texpat's picture

I am beginning to suspect that Bernanke has always dreamed of running an investment bank.

Milton's picture

 "...banana republic also typically has large wealth inequities, poor infrastructure, poor schools, a "backward" economy, low capital spending, a reliance on foreign capital and money printing, budget deficits, and a weakening currency."

4 out of 5 ain't bad.

Anonymous's picture

Is it possible to run out of wood to print money with,..in that case,..what would we buy it with? me just don´t understand anymore.