Fed's Duke: "America's Poor Have To Make A Choice Between Paying Their Gas And Their Mortgage"

Tyler Durden's picture

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The Profit Prophet's picture

Why would anyone still be paying their mortgage???.....bitchez.

T.E.I.N. everyone!

Xibalba's picture

The choice is rather: gas, food, or RENT.  The poor do not have a mortgage.  They live in their cars. 

Weisbrot's picture




if you really want the price of something to rise just start giving it away and watch the cost of that item skyrocket!!!



silberblick's picture

Click below to see a visual graph of Bankster's dirty needs arranged according to Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs: http://thesilvergoldhedge.blogspot.com/2011/05/banksters-dirty-hierarchy...

Sudden Debt's picture


Food, beer,dope or Ipad apps


FEDbuster's picture

Better just to live in a Walmart parking lot.  No rent (it's free), no fuel (you don't have to go anywhere) and food is only 200 yds and an EBT card away.  Plus free WiFi, if there is a McDonalds or Starbucks out front.  If you are really ambitious, you can get a part time job handing out smiley face stickers to the kids.

financeguru500's picture

The walmart in my town only let's people use the extra parking spots for 24 hours. Any longer and the vehicle would get towed.

On the main point of people making choices, I call bullshit. If people really cared they would be carpooling with each other or driving less. Look on any city street in any city in the U.S. and you will see 90% of drivers driving alone and traffic congestion now is as bad or worse than it was 5 years ago.

The truth of the matter is we are in the situation we are in because everyone consumes as much as they possibly can. They won't lower their consumption until they are forced to. I say bring on $10 gas.

sun tzu's picture

You're right! People are just out there driving around town for no reason in order to waste as much gas as they can afford

downwiththebanks's picture

You say that because it will make YOU money, banker-gangster.  That's the only reason.

That's Capitalism, baby!  "Fuck you, cause I got mine!"

Chuck Walla's picture

What Capitalism?  Who's forming Capital these days?  Where are the factories and products?  China?  And you say THIS is Capitalism?

downwiththebanks's picture

Of course it's Capitalism to move factories abroad so the buyers of labor (i.e., capitalists) cut costs.  Isn't that common sense?

The unholy race to the sweatshop bottom is fundamental to the entire con game!  To suggest that Capitalists care about 'nationality' or political ideology is to misunderstand the whole system.

Chuck Walla's picture

What Capitalism?  Who's forming Capital these days?  Where are the factories and products?  China?  And you say THIS is Capitalism?

Chuck Walla's picture

What Capitalism?  Who's forming Capital these days?  Where are the factories and products?  China?  And you say THIS is Capitalism?  Obama and his gangsters hand out cash to their friends and you say THIS is Capitalism? You got a funny definition that not even Marx would recognize.


Chuck Walla's picture

What Capitalism?  Who's forming Capital these days?  Where are the factories and products?  China?  And you say THIS is Capitalism?  Obama and his gangsters hand out cash to their friends and you say THIS is Capitalism? You got a funny definition that not even Marx would recognize.

FEDbuster's picture

At our Walmarts you are supposed to get a parking permit for RV parking.  That rule is being ignored and stores aren't enforcing it.  Park far away from stores enterance and you are ok.  At one store most RVs are over by the Olive Garden.  Another favorite spot is the empty lot next to Sam's Club (no other stores ever built there).  Smaller RVs, vans and car occupants can get away with it in grocery store lots or malls.  Kmart is also a popular place to park and sleep.  Daytime you will find them in public parks cleaning up and taking care of "business" in the public bathrooms.  We also have a national forest nearby, which is a popular squating spot off of the backroads.

NotApplicable's picture

Carpooling is not feasible for the majority of the population. It is better suited for large factories where many people arrive and leave all at once. Where I work, for example, I'm in an office with about 30 people. Only one of them travels on the highway I live on, and he isn't on the same schedule as me.

Popo's picture

And why is the Fed reporting on this as if it is an impartial, 3rd party observation -- rather than the direct result of Fed policy?

Correction to Duke's speech:  "WE have created, through our own actions, a scenario in which lower income Americans *must* default on their mortgages.   We're sorry.  We honestly thought if we flooded the system with liquidity, and debased the dollar, that animal spirits of economic prosperity would rise up from the Earth and bestow blessings of wealth uponAmericans of all classes.   How this could have failed is beyond my small, academic brain which treats economics as a belief system akin to a religion -- and refuses to examine data empircally.  Thank you for attending.  There will be hors d'oerves served in the atrium."



pavman's picture

Its workin for me.  Course I don't have a mortgage. ;)  Good 'ol animal spirits.  Although I would like some nice stock bargains again, so no QE3 please ... trying to jump to the upper class here.  What does one need these days to be considered part of the upper class?  A billion or two?  Hmm, might need alot of stock bargains...let's make a deal.. you don't do QE3 and I'll vote in your puppet master in 2012.

NotApplicable's picture

I was going to ding you for the "honestly thought" statement, but then you stated it's all a belief system anyway, so I guess it's all good.

swamp's picture

"Poor" have mortgages? lol  Only in America.

BobPaulson's picture

No choice required: not enough debt collectors in US to meet demand. Pay neither. Buy a flat screen TV. Somebody in China will pay for it.

writingsonthewall's picture

You have hit on a brilliant idea - if nobody pays their debts, the amount of debt collectors required will be huge - all the unemployed can then become debt collectors - collecting each others debt!

The successful debt collectors can use their pay to pay back their own debt collectors.


A brilliant scheme - what could go wrong? - I'll ask my mate Bernie if this is a good idea, give me a couple of days as he can only receive 2 calls a week!

southsea13's picture

Hats off to you mate: that`s one hell of an idea - a kind of CDO, but with `real` `live`(ish) humans. I`m not quite up on the mechanics of how this could work, but then I don`t really need to be as it`s got the makings of a great Ponzi scheme and therefore *cannot fail* as if anything goes wrong, the scheme will be too big to fail and the government will have no choice other than to step in and stop the unemployed people becoming...you got it: unemployed! There must be a market for setting up consultancies and investment seminars too. Count me in! 

writingsonthewall's picture

I've already got SEC approval!

I told them

"it's a money making scheme which will make the Government a fortune in taxes - can't say too much at the moment as it's all a bit secret - me and Southsea13 have a lot of 'consultancy' work penned in at great cost"

They actually stamped the approval after I said the word 'taxes' - the rest fell on deaf ears.

All we need now is about 300,000 suckers volunteers investors in the scheme and we're in business.


Goldman have promised to fund the startup costs - all I had to do is sign some piece of paper with the words 'soul' and 'devil' on it.

pavman's picture

I'd like to get on the ground floor so I can get out before the ship hits the proverbial iceberg...where do I sign up?!

Always remember: The guys who were in first w/ Maddoff and Ponzi were the winners (just like Charlie Sheen).

FEDbuster's picture

I've got a name, "Americollects", the new civilian collection corps.  Do two years of paid service in our debt collection army, and earn credits for reduced (or waived) student loan interest rates, preferred hiring status at government or TBTF banks and a few thousand lucky participants will receive title to a free and clear Fannie/Freddie owned condo in Las Vegas, Phoenix or Miami.

Calculated_Risk's picture

Do I get to carry a shotgun like the jackboot thug banker slavery enforcement agency IRS?!

writingsonthewall's picture

Hell we'll even give you a uniform - how does 'Big Bird yellow' grab you? - you need to be visible.

A nice cap and a double breasted suit will finish it off nicely.


No boots though - too militant - I think a nice pair of kickers.

Bubbles the cat's picture
Bubbles the cat (not verified) writingsonthewall May 24, 2011 1:32 PM

OK. Count me in. I am well qualified for this. I gotta molecular PhD and know nothing about employment law, taxation, debt collection or honesty, integrity, accountability or responsibility in business, banking and finance. I am completely clueless in such matters and therefore consider I have a strong case for appointment as CEO of this new, yet somehow oddly familiar, enterprise. I pledge a couple of mill of Gen Alpha pension funds to assist startup. And....no, I don't already work for GS.

fuu's picture

We should start right away with the DVD series on how to get started in the unlimited growth market of self help debt collecting. A couple of web pages, some slick glossy brochures, and a 10 part dvd set of people with super shiney teeth explaining how you too can make millions a month collecting on the debt of your freinds, neighbors, and relatives!


Buy now at the low low introductory price of $99.99 per installment for 5 installments!


We can call it Wecovery Services LLC. The url is available.

southsea13's picture

I`ve been thinking: why don`t we set up a Ponzi scheme? Everyone here is pretty much up to speed on how to set one up, and I reckon it`d be an internet first. Another bonus is that as it`s `virtual` (with some Russian proxy servers and PGP encrypted Thunderbird clients for email and so on), it would be very hard to identify and prosecute the `directors`. In true Bilderberg fashion we could meet in small cabals in (unlike Bilderberg) unheard-of destinations (membership strictly limited) and think up new ways to entangle the government in `too-good-to-be-true-too-big-to-fail` schemes. Also, a good slice of profits could be dispensed in charitable donations and financing groups who want to take on the banksters and give them a very hard time. :) As has been shown, if you can wrap shit up in hard-to-open, but shiny `blingy` packages, some chump will buy into it. 

MissCellany's picture

Only potential trouble I see is if the debt-collector jobs get outsourced to India or someplace. ;^)

southsea13's picture

Given the rash of suicides and indebtedness of people in India (and the rest of the developing world), I see that as an opportunity to `assist` people in `reaching their aspirations`. :)

BobPaulson's picture

Let's call the business: "Sheriff of Nottingham's Collection Services". The beauty of this business model is that if you subcontract to the right debt collection professionals, they don't really need to know how much "debt" you have, to be able collect. Working on the assumption that everybody is in debt, they can just go out and collect, in cash, electronic equipment, jewelry and other more liquid assets. All you need then, is a special clearing house, say for example, we call it "Freddy the Fence's Asset Redistribution Office" where debt collateral is received and recycled into new collateral for higher risk/return debt that you operate through another window, say "Knuckle's Loans". 

With the right people, you can blow away the puny returns of the small minded chumps in the more conventional lending business.

southsea13's picture

That`s pretty good and hard to top imho: collect debt in cash or other assets, liquidate and then lend out at stupendous APR. Strip the customers of their assets, but also offer *debt counselling and restructuring services (at `competitive`rates), and entrap them in such a way that the cycle becomes endless until someone defaults and goes bankrupt (to minimise the risk, prey on the least-educated most vulnerable (and needy) clients). To reinforce this structure, open a few `foundations` from the huge profits (to forestall bad press) and also start selling the shakiest debts on *before* people default, leaving yourself `hands-clean`. Buy a few off-the-peg politicians and you`re laughing! :)

Any other ideas? Now where`d I leave my copy of Business Plan Pro? 

writingsonthewall's picture

A few payments to the authorities to fill the gaps in their budget - and we're legit!


Seriously - what can go wrong with this plan?

Someone pen a letter.

Dear Ben,

I hear you have financial woes.....well have I got the solution to all your troubles, and best of all it's more reliable than your existing scheme..

firstdivision's picture

Wouldn't educating the low-moderate income families be counterproductive to how the American markets operate?  If we tell people that they do not need to buy the crap marketed to them on an unending basis, then those companies will have lower revenues.  Of course, with lower revenues comes lower stock prices, and that goes against the Fed's ultimate mandate.

tgatliff's picture

No worries... All those multi-nationals have an SIV to hide all those "inconvenient" losses...

Manthong's picture

"Today's topic is a daunting one: how to improve consumers' financial education"

Curious. Must be some kind of death wish.

If you educate the sheeple in finance, they will understand the scam and want to shutter the FED.

downwiththebanks's picture

Not just the Fed's mandate - the accumulation of Capital is the mandate of Capitalism.

That's why Uncle Sam has been chiefly concerned, since the Slavers Republic was created, to protect the interests of Capital Uber Alles.

sun tzu's picture

More nuggets of wisdumb from the bastard child of Mao

downwiththebanks's picture

Shouldn't you be giving Vikram Pandit a massage?

tgatliff's picture

Oh, thats an easy one Mr. Fed...  The average american you have been screwing over for about 3 years now should pay the gas and screw the banks to undue all of that "good" you have been doing.  Actually, it would be a cost savings.  I mean with all of the foreclosures, the average american probably has 18 months before the bank even has a chance to file the paperwork.  If they are lucky, they might be able to squat another 12 months after that.

Now that is financial education that actual helps the average guy...

Husk-Erzulie's picture

What's all the debate?  Just inflate inflate inflate...bitchez.

Debtless's picture

We really don't need these Fed people do we?