• Knave Dave
    05/23/2016 - 18:16
    This past Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of the US stock market’s death when stocks saw their last high. Market bulls have spent a year looking like the walking dead. They’ve...

A Follow Up To The Physical Gold Arbitrage Trade

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Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:32 | 894378 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Wow.  Face value of the coins needs to exceed 10 G's for reporting requirements, not melt down value.  Interesting.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:36 | 894395 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

"..customs officials in North America have unlimited authority to do whatever they want, even if you are well within the law", so yes and no, they could detain you for 12 or 24 hours while doing a 'background' check on you

or even confiscate it, untill you prove that it's not illegal

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:39 | 894404 faustian bargain
faustian bargain's picture

Just melt it all down into a big trophy, and tell them you won it in a martial arts tournament.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:45 | 894425 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture


Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:57 | 894459 goldmiddelfinger
goldmiddelfinger's picture

That will get you a quick trip to prision where you will no longer get paid for being a Butt Monkey.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:17 | 894529 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Oh look retarded cop is back.


Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:06 | 894652 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

LOL.  Knock knock...

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:38 | 894726 goldmiddelfinger
goldmiddelfinger's picture

Somewhere there is an ass for you to wipe.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:34 | 894911 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Look in the mirror, there it is.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 23:33 | 895213 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Power tripping are we?  Let me guess fresh out of the academy, big hardon the girls at the donut shop think you look swell in the uniform?

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:59 | 894467 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture



What would B.A. do...

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:36 | 894580 knukles
knukles's picture

God!  Do I have to think of everything for everybody?

Here's the solution.  Buy the stuff (I would recommend coins, the 1 oz variety should work just fine.) (good pun, fine, eh?) in HK and when on the way home, just before the plane lands, go into the commode and secrete the coins up your rectum.
Now, based upon rudimentary calculations and personal experience, I'd suggest that given one finger is not unlike another, nor a coin amongst other coins being any different, before trying this trick en-route, substantial practice be accomplished at home.  Preferably in the privacy of one's own home, for even my 96 year old mother became somewhat disturbed whilst I was attempting practice during our family holiday repast.

And further consideration should be afforded (pun, LOL get it, afford?) the weight of the coins, for with each coin weighing in at 1 oz, (so best go with the highest quality, .99999 fine) the weight might become somewhat disconcerting particularly ifstanding in line at customs for say 3 1/2 hours with 11 lb. of Pandas up the old bung.  Yes, practice does help make perfect, but I must warn, do not get too greedy, for double digit weight does comprise quite a volume of physical specie.

I might also recommend a reasonable supply of KY and Vicodin for obvious reasons as well as Ativan for the normally skittish, irritable or nervous as having the heee beee geeebies whilst complaining to the lady with the 3 year old screaming triplets person next to you if they've ever had the misery of attempting to sneak gold into the counrty in thier bung can draw unwnated attention.

Oh, and BTW, after practicing the temporary storage of the coinage, it is also good to re-learn walking unencumbered.  (Another pun, unencumbered, LOL)

Moreover, since the guardians of the universe have not yet stooped (another pun, get it, stoop?) so low as to initiate cavity searches on incoming passengers form Hong Kong as a standard operating practice, such might be accomplished multiple times with reasonable anticipation of success.

Good luck and good puckering!


Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:24 | 894693 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Maw inspiring...LOL...perhaps Kevin Jennings can add a new curriculum to classrooms so the up & comers can be safe in retrieving said fist full of dollars.

I counted four ;-)

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:25 | 894890 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

This would probably work.  I didn't have to go through a metal detector when entering the US via LAX, and later I requested an "enhanced pat-down" in protest and ended up skipping the metal detector!  They didn't even wand me.  That might have been a breach of protocol, so better test this first.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:41 | 894923 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"They didn't even wand me."

See, that's what I'm talking about...we pay good tax money to be abused on a daily basis...they're completely incompetent!...slackers. 

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 21:26 | 895023 DosZap
DosZap's picture


Exactly how do you intend to keep said 11#'s lollygagging arould your orfice?.

I would suggest having said orfice pre-loaded, and temoraily sewn shut, and fake a Colo Bag.

At the very worst you could rupture your colon, and bleed out a wealthy man.(oh, and an enema would definitely be in order, several.)(>;

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 21:32 | 895031 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

As a plus, if your kegals are in good shape, and you squeeze them hard enough, you can lay golden eggs.  This can be useful.  See the U.S. army survival manual on laying golden eggs if you don't believe me.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 21:40 | 895046 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

I shall be handling all 1oz coins with surgical gloves, from this day forward.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 21:58 | 895074 tinylittleguy
tinylittleguy's picture

ROFLMAO, that was absolutely hilarious. Thank you for that

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:47 | 894604 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

"Portnoy's Complaint"  will show you how to secrete the said discreteables.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:15 | 894522 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

It would work, but smeling gold is a whole big process. You'd need resources on each country to pull it off.

Plus having actual coins that are universally recognized as gold is way better than some ingot.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:48 | 894408 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

they could detain you for 12 or 24 hours while doing a 'background' check on you

True!  Plus, they can grab your balls.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:14 | 894518 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

I am single... anything for a date!

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:20 | 894537 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

There are even guys who pay top dollar for that :)

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:27 | 894551 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

JW, that was good, LOL.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:43 | 894595 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

True!  Plus, they can grab your balls.


For many that would be a bonus.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:59 | 894637 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Not my bag. 

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:37 | 894723 goldmiddelfinger
goldmiddelfinger's picture

retard alert

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:56 | 894753 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

You're supposed to internalize the retardation. Not project it back out. Now swallow goldi.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:31 | 894899 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Its a given, Goldmiddle finger loves to swallow.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:53 | 894944 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Nope he's a spitter.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:55 | 894948 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Yeah, can't do anything right, that one.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 21:16 | 895002 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Mean people suck...nice people swallow ;-)

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 21:50 | 895060 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

LOL.  Consider that stolen.

Sat, 01/22/2011 - 09:23 | 895571 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Why not?...I stole it from someone else ;-)

I think the phrase came about by all these college twerps running around with "Save the Planet"..."Free Tibet"...bumper stickers on their Subaru's.

One of the bumper stickers was "Mean People Suck"...now I just point at them and laugh when I pull up alongside them in traffic...LOL.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:00 | 894640 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Grabbing em's easy. Letting em go is the hard part.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:43 | 894415 pacu44
pacu44's picture

or even confiscate it, untill you prove that it's not illegal


But like guns confiscated during Katrina, you still may not get them back...

Sat, 01/22/2011 - 10:24 | 895602 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

why did you let someone take a gun from you to begin with?

you do understand what that makes you, right?

how is it someone else's fault? when you did it???

here watch this and get back to me doofus..



Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:46 | 894423 Idiot Savant
Idiot Savant's picture

I'm sorry, but you're a fucking moron if you try to bring a significant amount of gold into the U.S.. Customs is just as crooked as Wall Street et.al. and will find a reason to keep it. That, or they'll tie it up in court for a few years. Be prepared to spend the money you saved to prove you're not a terrorist and that the gold belongs to you.

Large bullion dealers in the U.S. will give a big discount for bulk purchases. I fail to see how it makes any sense to spend the time, money, and effort making the trek to HK.  

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:04 | 894490 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

 Customs is just as crooked as Wall Street et.al. and will find a reason to keep it. That, or they'll tie it up in court for a few years.

I vaguely remember Mel Fisher having numerous lengthy legal battles to keep the treasure he found from the Atocha, which was at the bottom of the sea. 

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 18:40 | 894728 goldmiddelfinger
goldmiddelfinger's picture

Before or after his anti-semitic rants?

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 19:02 | 894762 israhole
israhole's picture

Asked the wuss. Didn't you get the Megaphone alert?  Hasbara is a fail.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 20:33 | 894908 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Maybe if he takes the dick out of his mouth he will see the page better.  Fisher, not Gibson.

Sat, 01/22/2011 - 14:24 | 895865 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

the proverbial "prove your innocence" game.

the problem here is seizure. Once they have it, and you do have to give it up to them, then you're screwed.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:43 | 894416 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

The article is wrong on that. You must declare the metallic value if it exceeds $10,000. You could only bring 7.4 coins in priced at $1350 without declaring. You could not value the coins at the face $50 and bring in 200 coins.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 16:51 | 894436 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Thank you Spitzer.  Spitzer is correct.  I had to declare my Gold Eagles a while back when I took out of the USA well over $10,000 (metal value) worth.  Filled out a Customs form.  And got a trick question from the "B Teamer" Customs Agent working the weekend at the airport.

If it is over $10,000 in liquid value DECLARE IT.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:00 | 894473 flacon
flacon's picture

I have an experience with silver coins - but not valued at $10k

Two years ago I flew from Newark, NJ to Toronto and back with a carry-on bag full of silver coins (American junk silver). Bag was placed on X-Ray machine and the man behind the counter stopped it - and said "coins?". I said "yep.". Bag cleared and I was on my way.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:07 | 894504 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

but silver was only $10/oz at the time.  if you did the same thing now, he might frisk your privates and demand a tip paid in those coins.

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:00 | 894474 bingaling
bingaling's picture

I have the impression that it is less than 10k now . The patriot act or another like it reduced the amount to less than 10 . I am almost positive . Also you are stating that if you leave the US you must also declare it now . I am going to do a little more investigating but I am sure I read 5k + cash ,securites , gold or cow dung if it is over 5k in value a declaration must be made . Crazy .

Fri, 01/21/2011 - 17:08 | 894507 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture


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