Follow The President's Announcement To The Nation That Osama Bin Laden Is Dead

Tyler Durden's picture




 
0
Your rating: None
 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Sun, 05/01/2011 - 22:41 | 1227102 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Rumor that Ben S. Bernanke & The Federal Reserve have been attempting to 'blow up' the US Dollar and are to be targeted as enemy combatants.

 

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 22:49 | 1227171 Cleanclog
Cleanclog's picture

10 years of the most powerful military actions in the world . . . we'll celebrate we got "this one guy". And all the other bad guys no prob.  Osama Bin Laden.  No legacy . . . CNN insane "We'll all remember exactly where we were when we heard this news . . . ."  No WE WON'T.  Where we were on 9/11, yes.  Tonight.  Forget it!

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 22:53 | 1227220 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

Wait, so, aah, Bin Laden was Q/Gdaffy's grandson?

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 22:58 | 1227280 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

OBL dead. US has body, with Photoshop layers.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 23:15 | 1227501 repete
repete's picture

here is the actual footage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huPDP5-NfbE

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 23:26 | 1227585 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Obama stated:

"Look, the U.S. economy is in the shitter, record numbers of Americans are on social benefit programs like SNAP, the number of foreclosures is set to surpass 2 million in 2011 and maybe more than that in 2012, the real unemployment rate is close to 20%, and the real inflation rate is close to 8% annually, with $5 a gallon gas in sight...I get it...I do...I feel your pain. But Osama Bin Laden was killed while I was the sitting President. So forget about your problems and rally around Rome burning."

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 23:33 | 1227642 UninterestedObserver
UninterestedObserver's picture

Impressive - so how did you get a copy of his 2012 fund raising speech to be used for the rest of the year?

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 23:49 | 1227800 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Does this mean he'll win another nobel peace prize?

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:30 | 1228076 chirobliss
chirobliss's picture

Ooh Yeah, junk me junk me. Just confirms I am on the right side of history.

 

Squawk you pathetic poseurs, you mediocre, small minded petty little peons, junk me, then go and raise your sad little shrines to you fallen hero OBL.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:36 | 1228089 chirobliss
chirobliss's picture

oo

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 05:23 | 1228517 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

 

WAIT?  OSAMA BIN LADEN DEAD?? ....AND CONVENIENTLY BURIED TO SEA SO NO ONE OF "PLAIN OL' JOE" STATUS CAN ACTUALLY WITNESS IT?

BWAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAAA.  OMFG THIS IS THE STUPIDEST SHIT I'VE HEARD IN A LOOOOONG ASS TIME. 

I MEAN, HOW LONG DID THIS REALLY HAVE TO TAKE CONSIDERING HE PROBABLY HAS HAD THE TOP BUNK IN THE BUTLER'S ROOM AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR THE LAST 10 OR SO YEARS.

BWAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA.  OMFG THIS EMPIRE IS SOOOO FUCKING PATHETIC.

4th TURNING INDEED.  THIS PERIOD OF "ENLIGHTENMENT" IS GONNA BE A BITCH FOR THESE SOCK-PUPPETS.


Americans, let's all hold hands and sing!!!!

America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too, 
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now, 
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow

FUCK YEAH!

McDonalds, FUCK YEAH!
Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH!
The Gap, FUCK YEAH!
Baseball, FUCK YEAH!
NFL, FUCK, YEAH!
Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!
The Internet, FUCK YEAH!
Slavery, FUCK YEAH!

FUCK YEAH!

Starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
Disney world, FUCK YEAH!
Porno, FUCK YEAH!
Valium, FUCK YEAH!
Reeboks, FUCK YEAH!
Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH!
Sushi, FUCK YEAH!
Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH!
Rodeos, FUCK YEAH!
Bed bath and beyond (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah)


Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:47 | 1228146 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Yes, because the guy was so great that he had a super spy henchman lair in the Tora Bora mountains that no one has yet to find, and they turned out to be made up.

 

The guy was so scary that he had to use body doubles in his videos until he could only release audio tapes.

 

Some people are so scared of the boogeyman that they have lost all ability to rational though. You would be one of those people.

 

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 01:18 | 1228241 chirobliss
chirobliss's picture

Hang in there Nid, you'll get it yet, just keep hitting those keys and eventually, like the 500,000 monkeys with typewriters you'll generate a "Hamlet"... well maybe I'm expecting too much.

Keep working though, something that makes sense will eventuate I'm sure, because I just can't help, when all is said and done, to think the best of simple people.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 01:59 | 1228344 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Ok, so:

1. Hooray.  Does this mean I don't have to choose between sexual molestation and irradiation anymore in order to board an airplane?

1a. Has the War of Terror been won?  Or has only Chapter 1 come to a close?  Stay tuned to a MSM outlet near you!

2. This is the pre-cursor of something else, something that they need to pull off while the dupes are distracted.

2a. Perhaps this is simply a gracious gift of "closure" bequeathed unto the useless eaters as a small token of thanks for all their years of production and labor donated to the elites?  To give them that last feel good moment of the year before the stun blow and their heads lopped off to be sent off for butchering...

2b. Or perhaps it's a distraction, a sleight of hand to throw off your attention while the real game gets played over here.

2c. Or both.

3. It is a tale, consumed by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I am Chumbawamba.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 02:59 | 1228422 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

 

 

 

 

That was gross.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 08:38 | 1228861 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Can't lance find one that's above a 6?  Shit man...  Lance, if you read this, just start combing public colleges in the south.  Your balls will love you.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 11:09 | 1229642 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

I just hung junk #50 on your a$$.  Good bye.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 06:01 | 1228578 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

I absolutely cannot believe you picked up 33 junks on this comment.  Must mean that the instant rehabilitation of the complete and utter loser actually took root like poison ivy in a hot house.  Fuck, Chris Mathews and that loud mouth cunny, whatshername, should be recieving fat bonus checks from GE.  Stellar job on the prop front, one for the textbook.  By the way the complete and utter loser is now most definately a war criminal (just like fellow peace laureate Henry Kissinger) a residence has never been, and never will be, under any circumstances, a legitimate military target.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:48 | 1228102 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The easiest call ever was that Obama, a Zbig and Kissenger protege, would be the one to bag Osama.  Tim Osman (Osama's CIA code name, which is code for 'The Ottoman') was put into play by Zbig under Carter when the Mujahideen was established as a proxy war force to at first battle the Russians, and then to use as an antagonist.  Osman was the left hand of his father, who owns the Carlyle Group along with the Bushes and Sarkozys.  Osman has been dead for years.  He was hospitalized and was barely alive the months before the September 11th bombing.  It was Obama's trump card, and Zbig had this one stashed for right when the dollar was about to fail, which it is.  Now when the dollar fails, which it will in a matter of weeks if not days, the US Empire, or what is left of it, will say to the world, 'But you all need us!  Look at the good we do!  Who will apprehend the criminals if not us?'

So yes, Obama is going to get a big smack on the lips from Nobel, the long forgotten Rotheschilde liasion.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:54 | 1228170 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Careful, Len. You don't want to pop the dummy balloon. That is all the sheeple have left.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 01:13 | 1228221 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

 

The Ottoman is pronounced dead on May Day......

 

Let go of your balloons sheeple, just let go.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 02:07 | 1228360 acrabbe
acrabbe's picture

mr hendrix you are looking to be on a bad list somewhere. i for one stopped speaking truth to the wacky shit occuring in this timeline long ago. now i can sleep at night even when i hear click clicks during my cell phone conversations. propaganda machine is ramping up super duper overtime. that can only mean that there is some crazy shit about to pop up over the horizon in the middle of the road and we are doing 90 with low visibility

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 02:59 | 1228391 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

 

 

from me to you I think we are all in the state before a collective death and that we are dreaming, or rather remembering, our last moment on earth.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 08:30 | 1228843 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

I will waste no time trying to prove or disprove.  Obviously, real or not, alive or long-dead, OBL was no longer useful.  The story was no longer serving any real purpose.  So, the only question is: now what?  To what use will this piece of news be put?  Obama simply getting credit for it would be just a waste, even with the obvious meaninglessness of the report.  

Fox news last night had some right wing beyotch crowing about how this meant that all the ME fence-sitters were going to join the U.S. side now.  OMFG.  Ten years later?

Sparklies of death: Wailing about any of these issues, or the dozens of other issues that cross the pages at Drudge, WND, InfoWars, et al, is a waste of valuable time and energy.  Beware the Sparklies.  One day you'll want the hours that you devoted to Sparklies back.  They'll get you killed.

I'll be cutting back on my time here.  Peace.

Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:45 | 1234168 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

peace to you amigo.   thanks for the doses of sanity.   good luck with your garden this year.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 05:47 | 1228568 PY-129-20
PY-129-20's picture

As a kid I lived near the East German border. We always heard those clicks, when we did a telephone conversation. Sometimes we greeted our East German spies.

I can remember very well, when I served in the army, we used to be near the border. One day, we got a call from the other side and they congratulated one of our men - in fact, it was his birthday. That was scary - and we had to reconfigure our whole communication system. Those bastards - you know, some of them are now working within our secret service. Nothing has changed - Hitler's men were also used by all secret services, when WWII ended.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 07:06 | 1228638 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

I was running with my platoon along the canal in Berlin, E Berlin towers on the other side, and we all turned our faces away and flipped the bird to the guards. The next air coordination meeting the Russians brought a black and white photo of us and started bitching to the 2 star. He told them what can I do no faces, 30 guys in pt uniform. Word came down, no more fippin off the comrades. 

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 08:55 | 1228913 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

I'll bet that general has the photo on his "I love me" wall

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 02:04 | 1228356 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Seriously?  That's their plan?  This is turning into one of those movies that's heavily hyped, with big name actors, lots of explosions and amazing special effects...at least in the trailer.  Then when you go to see the actual movie it totally sucks.  That's what I feel like now.

This movie sucks.  I want my fucking money back.

I am Chumbawamba.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 03:04 | 1228412 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

 

Springtime......for Hitler!

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 04:32 | 1228527 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

Exactly. Well said. Full stop.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 06:19 | 1228589 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Just want to point out a sort of thumb in the wind observation.  Twenty-four hours ago the news was broken on the Washington Post website, not a fringy blog, that Ghadafi's grandchildren were killed by by an airstrike (on a civilian neighborhood)  which was meant to assasinate him.  The comments were running by my estimate 9 to 1 heatedly against the teleprompter.  It was looking bad, real bad.  So, ace in the hole.  Full on.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 07:10 | 1228644 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Yep.

Very sad.

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 23:51 | 1227844 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

OK, tinfoil time:   Osama been dead for a long while now, and was taken off ice, then shot or blown up, for the occasion of Obummer's Hope and Change being seen more and more for what it always was.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:07 | 1227942 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

I'm guessing the "royal" wedding was a bit of a bust?

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:17 | 1227992 Turtle49
Turtle49's picture

Our leaders, praise be unto them, needed something to divert attention from the killing of the son and grandchildren of Kadaffi. 

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 01:33 | 1228017 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

yup. Pure tin.

ANY time is a good time to crow about "osama dead laden".

They just got him...TEN YEARS (of waste) TOO FUCKIN' LATE.

Rhetorical question...."can we just fucking LEAVE Iraq & Afghanistan now?"

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 06:22 | 1228591 onthesquare
onthesquare's picture

better be careful. Now he will be seen as a martyr. Rise again. There will be sightings of him all over the world. His image will appear on toast.

There will be a sequal. Son of BL

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 06:04 | 1228580 old naughty
old naughty's picture

sarc on/

Wow, really?

sarc off/

...buried at sea in Af, how convenient!

 

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 09:44 | 1229167 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Hopefully they put his passport in his back pocket to make it an easy slam shut case that it was indeed Bin Laden.!

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:26 | 1228055 Tail Dogging The Wag
Tail Dogging The Wag's picture

+1

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" vote for me, yes we cannot

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 01:11 | 1228224 Tric
Tric's picture

I love you repete

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 03:59 | 1228499 Use of Weapons
Use of Weapons's picture

Now that is Cthulu in a can - bow to an old one there.

News Update:

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/6245665/Dwarves-fou...

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 06:55 | 1228625 blindman
blindman's picture


exactly.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:22 | 1228033 Tail Dogging The Wag
Tail Dogging The Wag's picture

+

yeah, but who cares about OBL? He was just a pawn in this game.

The elephant in the room is hyperinflation and the death not of Osama, but of Mr Greenback.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 00:47 | 1228139 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

I'm a deather. Show me the certificate.

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 07:48 | 1228738 l.kimbot
l.kimbot's picture

...and his secret college transcripts!

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 22:56 | 1227285 GreenSideUp
GreenSideUp's picture

LMAO!!!

Sun, 05/01/2011 - 23:10 | 1227412 Cleanclog
Cleanclog's picture

Wait!  OBL was a crony capitalist?  Found in a mansion and not caves?  OMG!!!  

Can we now start putting our TBTF execs in our sights?

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!