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Forget Hugh Hendry... Ashton Kutcher Recommends You Panic, And Prepare For The Apocalpyse

Tyler Durden's picture





 

It seems that it was just yesterday that everyone's favorite outspoken Eclectica manager, Hugh Hendry, was advising that the best course of action is panicking. It appears his message was not lost on one Ashton Kutcher. Per the HuffPo: "Ashton Kutcher is in hard training for the apocalypse, but this no big screen role: he's afraid that armageddon is coming.....Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours running
the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased by wild
boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning Krav
Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered special
ops. All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the
end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I
care about." And so survivalism has just gone mainstream...and copycat cool. Good luck trying to find stockpiles of MRE rations, freeze dried beans, and ammo going forward.

More from the Huffington Post:

Speaking to Men's Fitness,
Kutcher predicts that the "end of days" is on its way, and he wants to
be prepared for the inevitable madness. He told the magazine (quotes via JustJared):

 

"It won't take very much, I'm telling you. It will not take
much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that
people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out
electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle.
People don't have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems,
so if there's no electricity, nobody has maps."

 

And then what? The way Kutcher sees it, all chaos breaks.

"And people are going to go, 'That land's not yours, prove
that it's yours,' and the only thing you have to prove it's yours is on
an electric file. Then it's like, 'What's the value of currency, and
whose food is whose?' People's alarm systems at their homes will no
longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water
heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity - what happens when
all our modern conveniences fail? I'm going to be ready to take myself
and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry."

So what's a soothsaying star supposed to do when he sees the end of
the world? Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours
running the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased
by wild boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning
Krav Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered
special ops.

"All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the
end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I
care about."

We are not sure how Demi feels about being chased by millions of milfthursty zombies who will have lost all rational thought once their infinitely dilutable pieces of paper are taken away.

h/t Louis

 


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Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:38 | Link to Comment Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Ashton Kutcher??

 

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:52 | Link to Comment traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

After listening to a steady stream of complaining on this site, including myself, I welcome and celebrate any and all persons that stand up and vocalize their beliefs - and his apparent skepticism of the vast use of resources for meaningless conveniences - and then act upon them. If he gets but a few more people to think and prepare, then he has accomplished a great deal in my book. I'm guessing he probably has one of the larger followings on twitter...

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:00 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

and his apparent skepticism of the vast use of resources for meaningless conveniences 

You mean our God given resources that we have earned the use of by hard work and sacrifice? The reason we have problems now is the lazy forget all that and want everything for free. And then there's the agenda driven folks like yourself, that want to make us feel guilty.

Guilty of what? Nothing. We earned it, we use it, it's ours. MadMax is not happening.

Next.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:16 | Link to Comment traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

I made no judgment on the accuracy of his predictions. I merely celebrated his willingness to speak his mind even though it might engender some skepticism.

Agenda-driven? You mean like suggesting that all resources are God-given and therefore our right to use as we see fit? [How'd that work for the residents of Easter Island?]

I have no particular agenda re: the environment, though I do believe there needs to an awareness of our personal and collective impacts. 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:24 | Link to Comment Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

[P]eople are going to lose their noodle.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:31 | Link to Comment Thorny Xi
Thorny Xi's picture

Lose their God-given noodle, that is.

Hey, the guy's doing Demi Moore and that fitness rag, owned my American Media (National Enquirer) has more circulation than The Oil Drum could ever hope for. 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:33 | Link to Comment the rookie cynic
the rookie cynic's picture

All captured on a Nikon Coolpix camera...

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:01 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

LH, bikram yoga needs artificial heat to get the room to 100 degrees. i went to couple of sessions, it is just plain stupid. what is he talking about losing electricity when the end comes. he is a hypocrite. he won't have any heat, to do his Yoga in. these dumb yoga pushers, they have like five electric space heaters located around the room. heat up the yogis and let them fry. world comes to an end and AK can't do bikram yoga cause he ain't got no electric heat. i swear i am one hoot after a laugh.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:24 | Link to Comment SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I hope you are kidding.  AK is doing yoga now in order to get himself into the proper physical condition.  I'm sure he's well aware that, if the apocalypse happens, he won't be looking for the nearest yoga studio.  It's better to actually be in top physical shape than only wish he was.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 19:21 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

silver I ski ng, is that the same picture avatar that headless horseman uses?

AK is just like any other man doing yoga. to see

downward dog, bitchez.

i know exactly where these two live in id a HO, he is just bitch slapping, when he talks all bikram yoga shit. he is jewish i believe or demi is. no matter. madonna did yoga too and and turned to the jewish religion. i say, time better spent riding a bike. hell, three of the last bank robberies in and around boulder center, got away on bicycles.

V E L O power.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 01:59 | Link to Comment gnap
gnap's picture

Its clear that Ashton is one of those Bible freaks because he uses the term "end of days".  Well I will say this .. the Bible says that the meak shall inheret the Earth and if these Bible freaks think the end of days is coming, then by all means give up everything you got and hope you are chosen.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 02:05 | Link to Comment SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

No.  My avatar is unique...until someone steals it.

I had tried yoga a few years ago and if you hit it right, I agree that the visuals can surely be a fringe benefit, although I highly doubt AK has taken up bikram yoga to check out girls' asses.

Additionally, I know several non-Jews that do yoga whom have no intention of converting to Judaism.  How does that comport with your theory?

Are you suggesting we all get bikes and rob banks as preparation for the end of days?

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 11:57 | Link to Comment snowball777
snowball777's picture

Marvel disagrees.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:39 | Link to Comment A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Bikram...ugh. Yoga for the dumbed down masses.

In yoga, breath and movement generate plenty of heat.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 19:26 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

bik ram you .......... generates a lot of losers. generate a lot of sweaty stinky bodies that i don't care to look at. imagine having to heat up a room with electricity to do 20 specific poses. it is very nazi yoga. i laugh when anyone tries to tell me they are all bikramed. well, now robotrainer says he does it with his GF. so we all know how F A B robo is, plus his MOM is following him around everywhere nowadays on ZH. momma's boy.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:42 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

Velobabe -

So what I hear you saying is that yoga is ok for Jews and Nazi's?  Or yoga is run by sweaty Nazi's and turns people in to Jews?  What?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 22:00 | Link to Comment Alienated Serf
Alienated Serf's picture

exaclty

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 23:28 | Link to Comment dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

downward dogbreath bitchez

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 08:46 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

i apologize to every one that i might of offended. i have no idea what i speak, lately. happy new year. i just really can't wait to get over this h a p p y shit, start off sunday with

what e v e r †

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 13:40 | Link to Comment tamboo
tamboo's picture

too bad it doesn't turn nazi jews into aryans, it would go a long way towards beautifying the place.
http://thy-weapon-of-war.blogspot.com/2009/12/adolf-hitler-founder-of-is...

so ashton's going to use a yid combat technique against
other yid combat techniques? lol.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 23:30 | Link to Comment dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

If yoga were food - Bikram would be Macdonalds.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 10:20 | Link to Comment thetruth
thetruth's picture

It is more accurate to say that the benefits of any style of yoga are completely dependent on the practitioner.  A person with the right mindset can receive as many benefits from Bikram as from any other style - except maybe Kriya. 

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:16 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

i only do it for the stretch†

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 18:08 | Link to Comment dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

your first sentence I totally agree with.  2nd sentenc  Bikram - 27 postures for the rest of your life, sorry no. 

Mc Bikram

downward dogbreath

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:35 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

You mean like suggesting that all resources are God-given and therefore our right to use as we see fit? 

They are.

[How'd that work for the residents of Easter Island?]

Oh my goodness. WTF is that supposed to mean? 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:45 | Link to Comment Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

After the apocolypse, Ashton is going to buy Easter Island and rename it Halloween Island.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:16 | Link to Comment spinone
spinone's picture

I'm glad he found motivation for his workouts.  I hope he buys lots of silver to crush JPM.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:47 | Link to Comment Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:47 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

[How'd that work for the residents of Easter Island?]

"Oh my goodness. WTF is that supposed to mean?"

 

They converted to Judaism? 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:28 | Link to Comment fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Easter Island residents killed all the rabbits. Without rabbits to hide the eggs all of the trees died.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:44 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

That makes more sense than the conversion to Judaism theory. I'm going with the rabbits. 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 22:05 | Link to Comment Alienated Serf
Alienated Serf's picture

 fxrxexexdxoxmx  wins the internets with that one.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 11:57 | Link to Comment snowball777
snowball777's picture

It means when we vote for who will be food, you will win!

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:26 | Link to Comment Freddie
Freddie's picture

Gigilo Ashton talked about how they lost power at their cabin and he loaded his gun and in a panic they went to the grocery store.  He is an apologist for Mugabe 2 Hussein to insure he gets movies in Hollywood.  If you bash conservatives and shill for marxism you can be a star too. 

His dowager wife is always bitching that she spent $500,000 on new t*ts, a face and ass lift plus a lot of work and still cannot get movie parts. 

BTW - those God given resources are being created each day by that reactor called the earth's core turning rocks into oil and nat gas. There is energy all over the earth and the earth is making new energy each day.  Solar will get cheaper over time too and geothermal power by the earth's core will work as well.  It already is working.

 

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 08:30 | Link to Comment h3m1ngw4y
h3m1ngw4y's picture

where´s your <sarcasm /> tag?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:27 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Don't you hate it when others fail to realize your "God given" rights? Now if those pesky natives would just get out of your way and let you get on with you using all your plentiful stuff earned by nothing more than honest hard work. You're right, guilt is for the common folk. Just a minute, Lloyd is texting me. 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:54 | Link to Comment OnTheFelt
OnTheFelt's picture

Are you fucking kidding me?

Define G.O.D please.....oh wait you can't because it doesn't exist, at least in the way that I know you are proclaiming it to exist.

If you happen to feel guilty because of the aforementioned post, then you probably should because you are.

But that is irregardless, because the whole point of the previous poster apparently whooshed right over your incy head.

Here, let me spell it out for you, what he means it is the haphazzard, lazy, me me, I deserve something mentality that is plagued by most westerners. 

Enjoy the tipping point, because as the old saying goes, I don't have to out run the bear, I just have to outrun you, dipshit.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:08 | Link to Comment Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Define "irregardless"

Please spell it out for me. I'm kinda slow.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:52 | Link to Comment Armchair Bear
Armchair Bear's picture

without lack of regard?

not lacking regard?

this is a non-word so REGARDLESS of who wrote it - the person is (somewhat) illiterate?

Go ahead "refudiate" me!!

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 19:22 | Link to Comment edwardscpa
edwardscpa's picture

Hey - if he used it in a complete sentence, and people understood what was being conveyed, then I'd give him a pass.

Irregardless, I don't think he used it properly in his sentence.  Fail.  lol.

 

side note - tic tacs are addictive.  mmmm.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 19:36 | Link to Comment RichardP
RichardP's picture

The word irregardless used to be in the dictionary.  Folks used to use the word.  Some still do.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:34 | Link to Comment Hellholeratrace
Hellholeratrace's picture

From Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Usage Discussion of IRREGARDLESS:
Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that “there is no such word.” There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead. Examples of IRREGARDLESS:
I told them that irregardless of what you read in books, they's some members of the theatrical profession that occasionally visits the place where they sleep. —Ring Lardner, The Big Town, 1921 Origin of IRREGARDLESS
probably blend of irrespective and regardless
First Known Use: circa 1912
Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:56 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

FTW.

 

self admission - Internally, I used to look down at the (Ir)regardless crowd.  Thank you for lightening the loathe. Or was it loath.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 22:52 | Link to Comment Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

Loathe: (verb) To harbor a strong dislike or hatred for a thing.

"I loathe bananas!"

 

Loath: (adverb)[I think] To be reluctant; hesitant.

"I was loath to speak after seeing others attacked for it."

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 01:32 | Link to Comment chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Say what you will about that tawdry tart, "refudiate" is a bad-ass word.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:33 | Link to Comment zeusman
zeusman's picture

I would also like to know your definition of "irregardless"?  Does the ir cancel out the regardless part? LOL

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:01 | Link to Comment LudwigVon
LudwigVon's picture

ATM Machine.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:37 | Link to Comment Reductio ad Absurdum
Reductio ad Absurdum's picture

Does the in- cancel out the flammable in inflammable?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 23:08 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

 

Are you fucking kidding me?

Define G.O.D please.....oh wait you can't because it doesn't exist, at least in the way that I know you are proclaiming it to exist.

When he resurrects you on Judgement Day you need no proof. Unless of course you're alone in a foxhole with shells coming down on you. Good luck on that!

I won't respond to you further...as you types will argue endlessly just to argue. BYE!

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 23:28 | Link to Comment CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

I like to sleep late so I'll likely miss the judgement part but wake me for cocktails at four.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:04 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

cheers.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 03:06 | Link to Comment Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

"Revealed" religion is the ultimate demonstration of human arrogance.

"I know God, what he wants, what he looks like, and everything he has ever done."

Imagine, the little pathetic human virus on a tiny back water planet in a minor galaxie knows the creator of the infinite universe.  Absolutely the most arrogant immagination of human kind one could possibly immagine.

(Among many things religion made me wonder about... why does God, as described by the revealed religions, need to have a sex?  If there is no other God, what is the penis for?)

There may be a "god" but it is not "revealed" in any "bible".

Junk away arrogant bitchez!

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:21 | Link to Comment Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

And with any "god" used to explain the creation of the universe, one has to deal with the problem of infinite regression. If god created the universe, who created god? Then, who created the uber-god that created the god? If the common excuse that god has been in existence forever is used, then the user can be asked why the universe or the conditions that resulted in its development and existence couldn't have been in existence forever, obviating the need for a god.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 23:56 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Or God is something that human beings cannot comprehend because we are limited by space and time. 

Let me ask you. Can a dog comprehend human activities? Of course not. So I guess any theory that a dog came up with to explain human behavior would look pretty stupid right?

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 02:08 | Link to Comment Red Neck Repugnicant
Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

Can a dog comprehend human activities? Of course not. So I guess any theory that a dog came up with to explain human behavior would look pretty stupid right?

First, your quote would not settle well with the hundreds of millions who blindly and faithfully follow organized religion - they've got it all figured out, from start to finish.

Second, your analogy about the dog and its understanding of its environment is better if you use fish: for humans to understand the universe/God is a bit like a fish swimming in the Pacific and understanding where all the water came from.

Third, unlike fish, dogs (and woodpeckers), some humans have a fully developed frontal cortex that does, in fact, enable us to understand the "fish tank" in which we swim.   That fish tank is comprised of three things: dark matter, dark energy and everything else. Dark matter comprises about 25% of the universe.  Dark energy comprises the other 75%.  Within those numbers is a small, infinitesimal error that does not actually add up to 100% - more like 99.99999999->%.  In that .000000001->% are the hundreds of billions of galaxies, hundreds of billions of suns, trillions of planets, and you and me.  

So....having a fully functional frontal cortex makes me wonder why God - if he really created it all for us - would have designated us so far to the right of the decimal point in the grand summation of it all.   


Thu, 12/30/2010 - 19:42 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

need to have a sex?  If there is no other God, what is the penis for?

you know i never thought of that. and we can bear children.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 23:52 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

"I know God, what he wants, what he looks like, and everything he has ever done."

Where did you get that? You are badly misinformed, that's not in the Bible.

We know God exists and that the Holy Spirit lives inside believers in Christ to protect and guide us. The laws and moral values to follow are also written in the Bible. 

why does God, as described by the revealed religions, need to have a sex?

God does not have a sex, he invented sex! He appeared as Jesus because the male is the religious leader over women. That's all explained in the Bible if you ever take the time.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 09:55 | Link to Comment pan-the-ist
pan-the-ist's picture

You lost this argument because the foundation of your argument is based on your irrational belief in a deity.

BTW, you can have an irrational belief in a diety and argue reasonably.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:35 | Link to Comment A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

How can you be so sure? Nothing is that certain. I would worry less about energy, and more about water. If we paid the true cost of delivering water to our faucets, there would be no car washes, not even hand washing in the front yard. There would be no lawn on which to wash your car. The default actions of faucets/showers would be off.

We can survive without energy....water? Not so much. Since states like CA consume 20% of their energy moving water around...now you can worry about energy.

 

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:44 | Link to Comment Reductio ad Absurdum
Reductio ad Absurdum's picture

(1) Not a problem if we reduce the human population.

(2) Also not a problem where I live, where there's plenty of water underground which is always being refilled by constant rainfall. Historically we've always used wind power to raise water, and we will again in the near future (out of necessity).

In summary: Don't live in a fucking desert, and stop allowing morons to breed.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:04 | Link to Comment OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

oh, damn...I live in the desert and have two sons.  No darwin award for me.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:25 | Link to Comment Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"Don't live in a fucking desert"

Are you referencing the great Sam Kinison's extremely funny routine? The problem with it is that the people he is referencing had the desert encroach upon _them_ and couldn't move elsewhere because of national boundaries and surrounding countries that didn't want them to move into their territories.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:29 | Link to Comment MurderNeverWasLove
MurderNeverWasLove's picture

Junked for still not having practiced what you preach.  Too many people, starting with YOU.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 10:01 | Link to Comment pan-the-ist
pan-the-ist's picture

Make the people in the desert pay the true cost of delivering water.  BTW, I'm going to dam the Mississippi and make a huge lake out of Illinois.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 03:25 | Link to Comment TDoS
TDoS's picture

Said the man standing on the backs of so many slaves.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:00 | Link to Comment Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

He is way over exaggerating how bad it could possibly get. Why would there be no electricity for any long point in time ?He is slightly brainwashed by the greenie peak oil fools.

There will soon be a financial apocolypse but it sure as hell will not be the first time it ever happened.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:03 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

++++

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:54 | Link to Comment Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I am not afraid of the power going out.  I am not afraid of the water going out.  I am actually afraid of unemployed police. 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 23:14 | Link to Comment Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Unemployed masses of anyone.  In Japan over the past few years the crime rate by the elderly has skyrocketed because they have no jobs, no income, no pensions or savings, no homes...be very afraid of the Baby Boomers starting Jan 1 2011!

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 03:07 | Link to Comment stev3e
stev3e's picture

>>In Japan.....the crime rate by the elderly has skyrocketed<<

is that so?

and when you were in Japan last time, you experienced/witnessed this explosion of crime by the elderly Japanese?

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 07:31 | Link to Comment breezer1
breezer1's picture

+1000 . i have a black belt in yoga.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 19:45 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

i have a ribbon belt in sword fighting.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:09 | Link to Comment Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Why would there be no electricity for any long point in time ?

Someone let the magic smoke out of the power plant? Fairy dust towers fell?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:21 | Link to Comment hbjork1
hbjork1's picture

Ashton knows that there is going to be a big solar flair like the one that is believed to have happened a few million years ago.  The electromagnetic pulse will fry any operating electrical equipment including the grid.  

But I am an old guy, can't do anything about it.  Perhaps he could be appointed the head of a committee to worry about that until it happens.  

Happy New Year to the Zero Hedge team! 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:49 | Link to Comment CrockettAlmanac.com
Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:19 | Link to Comment Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

I suggest everyone take a look at this, then go to his channel and watch his other uploads. This new theory is set to blow the top off of the current understanding of the universe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_T6__JDeyw

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:36 | Link to Comment Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Magnetar SGR J1550-5418 recently became active, and is producing gigantic Gamma Ray Burst which are aimed directly at the Earth. One burst in 2008 heated the upper atmosphere of the Earth by 50 celcius in a matter of minutes, more here.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vJ69qupGM0

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 01:09 | Link to Comment False_Profit
False_Profit's picture

...thanks to all regarding links on this interstellar thread...i find this fascinating and you have provided me with my daily fix!

we are definitely in a period of the "quickening" of information dissemination and knowledge, and the realization that we still know very little on a universal level, and about the history of our lowly interplanetary vessel called earth and its previous inhabitants...and visitors...it keeps our discussions of economic malfeasance and eminent collapse in context for sure...

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:13 | Link to Comment Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Read Talbott's Electric Universe and Donald Scott's Electric Sky last year.  Absolutely terrific stuff.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:08 | Link to Comment iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

++  Thanks Rusty.  wayyy cool.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:31 | Link to Comment Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

Re: solar storm of 1859. When the same thing happens eventually in our modern electronic world, and it will, it will be catastrophic.

Another thing that _will_ happen and could have catastrophic effects, a magnetic pole reversal:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/magnetic/

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:22 | Link to Comment Red Neck Repugnicant
Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

Why would there be no electricity for any long point in time

I'm not sure.  Perhaps if Republican senators like Phil Gramm collude with energy companies like Enron?

Blackouts are truly wonderful for profits, as people become desperate and pay anything to get the AC working.  Too bad those pesky unregulated derivatives blew up!  

Does anyone know if there is a connection between Phil Gramm, George Bush, the 1992 Energy Policy Act which forced utilities to carry Enron's energy, Wendy Gramm (his wife) as the Chair of the CFTC, the deregulation of energy future contracts and the future total implosion of Enron? 

Those Republicans sure do find themselves in the middle of a bunch of pickles.  Weird. 


Wed, 12/29/2010 - 19:13 | Link to Comment Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

How about bammie colluding with Chinese solar panel manufactureres to ban drilling in our waters while China drills off Cuba's northern cost?  Your a dull tool.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:53 | Link to Comment zeusman
zeusman's picture

Good point Red Neck Repugnicant - those Repubes do tend to fuck everything up every time they get in office with their degregulation, crony capitalism bullshit

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:51 | Link to Comment Reductio ad Absurdum
Reductio ad Absurdum's picture

"every time they get in office"

And why do they keep getting into office? The liberals must be doing a really GREAT job if the public keeps voting them OUT of office.

Stop thinking along two-party lines.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 02:17 | Link to Comment Red Neck Repugnicant
Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

And why do they keep getting into office?

Are you aware that over 40% of all Americans think the Earth is 6,000 years old, and that fossils were planted by God to confuse us?

More Americans believe in a literal Hell and a red-faced guy with horns on his head, than they do in Darwinism. 

The average American watches over 150 hours of television per month.  If there are 720 hours in a month, and the average person sleeps 8 hours a day, that means the average American spends over 30% of his waking life watching television.

Only 34% of all Americans believe that George Bush started TARP.  

Only 16% of Americans believe that half the TARP funds have been repaid. 

About 40% of all Americans believe that Obama wants death panels - probably the same 40% who think the Earth is 6,000 years old.

50% of all Americans believe that Saddam Hussein was responsible for the 9/11 attacks.

The state of California elected Conan the Barbarian as their governor.

Over 40% of all Americans don't know who our Vice President is.

Gun sales sales surged after Obama was elected President because Americans thought their country was under attack.

There are individuals here - in the ZH community - who have dozens of canned hams buried in their back yard

Not only did our education system produce this girl, but she was actually put on stage as a viable candidate that best represents American teenagers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

 

So....am I surprised by the results of American elections?

No. 

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 08:41 | Link to Comment TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

"Gun sales sales surged after Obama was elected President because Americans thought their country was under attack."

It is under attack.    Obama, if he hadn't been elected to public office, couldn't get a security clearance from the same federal government he is the figurehead of, because of his long, long, continuous history of anti-american activities and associations.   The second two years of Obama's sham of a presidency will unfortunately be very interesting, as the Congress will now be holding hearings on what the federal governments' zillions of agencies have been up to.   They are totally out of control, and this is by design.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 10:51 | Link to Comment Red Neck Repugnicant
Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

quod erat demonstrandum

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 10:20 | Link to Comment pan-the-ist
pan-the-ist's picture

Soo.. our elected president should get security clearance from our private military industrial complex?  Does goose stepping come natural to you?

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:53 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

He’s a f***ing half-wit, like a lot of people that post here tbh. He's going to learn Karate, wtf?... to protect Demi from hordes of rampaging starving lunatics with hard-ons. I can picture it now, Mr Kutcher karate chopping his way through a mob of lusting goldbugs with guns and big throbbing cocks. Lmfao, its too much. I bet even when his bedroom light bulb wears out he jumps into action, ripping off his shirt to reveal a bright red blitz suit with colour coordinated nun chuka's. Enough.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:20 | Link to Comment TheEmperor
TheEmperor's picture

I have never met Kuchar but I have heard him speak openly and honestly (I believe) on Real Time with Bill Maher.  The guy is aware, he knows about the issues we all face, maybe he is overly apocolyptic and maybe he is not.

Basically, you dont know and I dont know but I do know 'stuff' will happen when major socio-economic impactful events occur eventually.  If the dude wants to prep and is willing to share on a mainstream mag...I say 'Dude, whoa'.

 

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 19:40 | Link to Comment Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

When the SHTF, does Maher put combat lifts in his shoes?

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 01:04 | Link to Comment LudwigVon
LudwigVon's picture

Bill Maher is a waste on this Earth.

There are important things to learn and do before one dies.

Please, do not spend time on laughable morons.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:58 | Link to Comment low_frequency_trader
low_frequency_trader's picture

Just sayin . . .

Shortly after midnight on September 2, 1859, campers in the Rocky Mountains were awakened by an "auroral light, so bright that one could easily read common print. . . . the solar storm of 1859 has been dubbed "the Carrington event". It remains the most severe solar storm to affect the Earth in recorded history.

...

 . . .[a] March 13, 1989 geomagnetic "Superstorm" . . . triggered strong direct currents in the long wires of the Canadian electric power grid. . . . the result was a power outage that knocked out power to the entire province of Quebec, Canada--six million people--for nine hours.

. . . John Kappenman of Metatech Corporation theorizes that a future repeat of the Carrington event or the 1921 geomagnetic storm could result in catastrophic failure of large portions of the electrical grid that would last for years, costing 1-2 trillion dollars in the first year, and putting million of lives at risk. Full recovery from the event would take 4-10 years.

from Dr. Jeff Masters' Wunderblog

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:18 | Link to Comment malikai
malikai's picture

It'll be just like Maximum Overdrive. Maybe Laura Harrington will make a cameo in the apocalypse too. She was so hot back then.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:47 | Link to Comment Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

Re: March 13, 1989 geomagnetic "Superstorm." I was working at a microwave communications site at the time. The antennas had magnetic field sensors on them so an alarm would be triggered if they were moved (most likely blown) 0.5 degrees or more off azimuth. On the night of the storm, the alarm was triggered at my location and manually reset, then triggered again, manually reset, etc. I knew about the predicted storm and on a hunch called other stations on the link to ask if they'd had the same problem. They had. There was no wind and the antennas weren't moving, the Earth's magnetic field was...

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:57 | Link to Comment Fernley Girl
Fernley Girl's picture

EMP

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:01 | Link to Comment TheProphet
TheProphet's picture

EMP?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:09 | Link to Comment weinerdog43
weinerdog43's picture

Electro magnetic pulse

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:12 | Link to Comment FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Read "One Second After" to get a glimpse of a post EMP world. 

Kudos the Ashton for keeping the "kooky" Hollyweird traditions alive.   Maybe Ashton and Demi could head down to Uncle Ted's (Nugent) ranch in Waco, TX for some bow hunting training.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:04 | Link to Comment Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture

Solar storms and plasma bursts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_TzIUlaQok

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:25 | Link to Comment Jeff Lebowski
Jeff Lebowski's picture

Ever visit a power plant?  How about a steel mill?

Enlightening, to say the least, in regard to the technology, support, and consumption of these facilities.  Financial apocalypse will happen, but yet, people will show up to work at the plants, shipping yards, mines - business as usual?  How much would you sell your gold for in an apocalypse?  $1500?  $2500?  $10,000?  What makes you think that if you wouldn't sell your PM in a time like that, that someone would sell a consummable, when a replacement cost was not able to be calculated/replaced? 

I'd say that, God forbid it happen, you'd eat those words in a matter of days.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:46 | Link to Comment cossack55
cossack55's picture

Ever heard of anarchists?  I'm a thinkin' those plants will be a-burnin'.  When it goes, it goes all the way.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:18 | Link to Comment CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

I've heard of anarchists. They believe that society functions more justly and efficiently without government. Governments are in the business of destroying power plants and production facilities. War, as they say, is the health of the state.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:03 | Link to Comment Jerome Lester H...
Jerome Lester Horwitz's picture

You obviously have not been to a power plant after 9-11. Anarchists are going to burn down power plants? With what? Bic lighters? Security detail at any power plant these days consists of well armed military types who would consider anarchists as nothing more than easy target practice. Go to any power plant and try and get past the guards with machine guns. We deliver to power plants on a weekly basis and I can tell you that unless these "anarchists" are armed with tanks and rocket launchers they are not going to get anywhere close to a power plant! 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:06 | Link to Comment Dirt Rat
Dirt Rat's picture

In Cormac McCarthy's novel The Road, the man and the boy come across a well-stocked bomb shelter. The Krugerrands are tossed into a corner with a derisive "Humph!" They are ecstatic that it is well-stocked with food, but more than a little disappointed they find no usable ammo or guns.

 

Goodness forbid that the human race ever arrive at the state of The Road, but it is still a very good read for apocalyptic types who want to think of what might happen and what one's priorities might be.

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:05 | Link to Comment trav7777
trav7777's picture

I'll be too busy out looting to worry about reading stupid novels.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:15 | Link to Comment FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

You loot, we shoot.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 08:44 | Link to Comment TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Don't worry, according to the article the zombies will be chasing MILFs.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 10:22 | Link to Comment JW n FL
JW n FL's picture
by TBT or not TBT
on Thu, 12/30/2010 - 07:44
#837396

 

Don't worry, according to the article the zombies will be chasing MILFs.

 

TBT or not TBT,

 

Thank! You!! I needed a LAUGH!!! God Bless You!

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:47 | Link to Comment tmosley
tmosley's picture

Money (gold) is useless under precisely one condition--when there is no trade.  Problem is, trade is something that comes naturally to humans.  As such, so long as there are humans, there will be trade.

The Road is highly unrealistic, in that it portrays cannibalism being adopted on a permanent basis (doesn't happen, except very rarely as a ritual).  The people they were keeping for food would use food until they were eaten, and would be otherwise useless.  In reality, if conditions are such outside that humans can survive, then other plants and animals can survive.  If other plants and animals can survive, then humans can harness them for food.  Humans will trade for food, skins, ropes, etc.  

Gold is useless only during those very brief moments of time best described as "riots".  For those times, you hold guns and ammo.  For the lean times, you hold food.  For the other 99+% of the time, you hold gold.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 01:48 | Link to Comment False_Profit
False_Profit's picture

+++

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 12:50 | Link to Comment Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"The Road is highly unrealistic"

It was also extremely sssssllllooooowwww........... I generally like dark movies, but that one was both depressing _and_ boring.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:44 | Link to Comment A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Indeed. But middle of the road is not evocative. It does not sell shit to people who don't need it.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:53 | Link to Comment Simit Patel
Simit Patel's picture

on twitter he's saying the comments are being taken out of context. http://www.twitter.com/aplusk

Sat, 01/01/2011 - 18:27 | Link to Comment Guy Fawkes Mulder
Guy Fawkes Mulder's picture

Indeed.

Your link shows two tweets on Dec. 29 that show him referring to the Huffington Post story as quoting him out of context, but confirming that he gets motivation to work out by thinking of how serious the possibility of a bug-out is.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:59 | Link to Comment Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

"meaningless conveniences"  Being preached at by a guy who drives the commerical version of an SUV, flies private and screws Bruces' ex wife is irritating..

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 20:09 | Link to Comment bobboberson
bobboberson's picture

seriously.  i hope fucktards like him are the first to get the short end of the stick along with the wall st banksters when TSHTF

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:06 | Link to Comment Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

Ashton Kutcher??

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

First the Fat Boys break-up and now this.....

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide. Mountains sit in a line
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Brezhnev. Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom!
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam book neck, right? Right....
Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:36 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Isn't he married to Justin Beiber?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:27 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

Holy shit, Ashton Kutcher??  I smell a major buy signal.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 23:15 | Link to Comment JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWOyfLBYtuU&feature=related

 

Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over (2010 Version)

 

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

"Dude, where's my apocalypse?"

 

"And then...?"

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:50 | Link to Comment maddy10
maddy10's picture

Duude!!!!!!!Sweeeet!!!!!

And then????

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:27 | Link to Comment Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Nobody has maps.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:27 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

the automobile club is your salvation.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:29 | Link to Comment Drag Racer
Drag Racer's picture

Dude, where's my map. Oh fuck, where is So'crates. He can draw.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 14:35 | Link to Comment JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

No! and Then!!

 

andddddddd.... thennnnnnnnn?

 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:56 | Link to Comment midtowng
midtowng's picture

That has got to be a huge contrary indicator for the doom and gloomer crowd.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:00 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Everything is a contrary indicator for something else. That's why there's a market for nearly everything. For proof see eBay.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:39 | Link to Comment Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Everything is a contrary indicator for something else.

His end of the gene pool?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:01 | Link to Comment Babalooee
Babalooee's picture

the shallow end

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:45 | Link to Comment A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

There an ETF for that?

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 00:55 | Link to Comment goldsaver
goldsaver's picture

nope, but there is an app for that.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 22:25 | Link to Comment Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

The entire pool needs a good dose of chlorine, starting with Ashton baby..

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 18:40 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Yeah, and Demi Moore (who was born in Roswell N.M., BTW) was G. I. Jane, too. 

Awesome 

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 21:03 | Link to Comment Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

who was born in Roswell N.M.

Jeebus, that explains soooo many things.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:59 | Link to Comment Cursive
Cursive's picture

@withdrawn

Lulz. And can you imagine a world without garbage disposals?

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:04 | Link to Comment CPL
CPL's picture

Sure,

I drive to the dump on saturday.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:33 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I get to visit every one's garbage on Sundays between 10 AM and 2 PM per the final settlement.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:11 | Link to Comment Cursive
Cursive's picture

@CPL

We're talkin in-sink-erator. LOL.

Thu, 12/30/2010 - 09:18 | Link to Comment h3m1ngw4y
h3m1ngw4y's picture

you will have a lot less garbage for the lolz. think of this as the bright side

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:40 | Link to Comment Ragnarok
Ragnarok's picture

Nobody tell him about the Federal Reserve. LOL.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:55 | Link to Comment Cleanclog
Cleanclog's picture

Very very funny!  Go get 'um!

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:30 | Link to Comment Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

What's the value of currency?

Sounds like he knows.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:43 | Link to Comment hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Is not Obama in Oahu doing surveillance tactics?:)

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 16:22 | Link to Comment DosZap
DosZap's picture

No, he's faking Church goin', and having new Birth Certs made.What a hypocrite.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 17:01 | Link to Comment goldmiddelfinger
goldmiddelfinger's picture

and playin golf in his "mama's pants" LOL great swing too. Watch the pager!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9m3GyDh6M8

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:42 | Link to Comment LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

my appraisal of this Hollywood nothing just went through the roof.  Talk about finding gold while digging out the latrine.

He's still got some learning to do though... you don't worry.  You fix it or forget it, but either way you should put it down.

Wed, 12/29/2010 - 15:45 | Link to Comment absinthejo
absinthejo's picture

Ashton Kutcher knows about the Olduvai Theory. You have to be really bored in Hollywood to google it.

On a more serious note, the message is correct but the way he describes doesn't help to make it go mainstream.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!