Forget Hugh Hendry... Ashton Kutcher Recommends You Panic, And Prepare For The Apocalpyse

Tyler Durden's picture

It seems that it was just yesterday that everyone's favorite outspoken Eclectica manager, Hugh Hendry, was advising that the best course of action is panicking. It appears his message was not lost on one Ashton Kutcher. Per the HuffPo: "Ashton Kutcher is in hard training for the apocalypse, but this no big screen role: he's afraid that armageddon is coming.....Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours running
the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased by wild
boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning Krav
Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered special
ops. All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the
end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I
care about." And so survivalism has just gone mainstream...and copycat cool. Good luck trying to find stockpiles of MRE rations, freeze dried beans, and ammo going forward.

More from the Huffington Post:

Speaking to Men's Fitness,
Kutcher predicts that the "end of days" is on its way, and he wants to
be prepared for the inevitable madness. He told the magazine (quotes via JustJared):

 

"It won't take very much, I'm telling you. It will not take
much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that
people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out
electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle.
People don't have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems,
so if there's no electricity, nobody has maps."

 

And then what? The way Kutcher sees it, all chaos breaks.

"And people are going to go, 'That land's not yours, prove
that it's yours,' and the only thing you have to prove it's yours is on
an electric file. Then it's like, 'What's the value of currency, and
whose food is whose?' People's alarm systems at their homes will no
longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water
heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity - what happens when
all our modern conveniences fail? I'm going to be ready to take myself
and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry."

So what's a soothsaying star supposed to do when he sees the end of
the world? Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours
running the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased
by wild boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning
Krav Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered
special ops.

"All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the
end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I
care about."

We are not sure how Demi feels about being chased by millions of milfthursty zombies who will have lost all rational thought once their infinitely dilutable pieces of paper are taken away.

h/t Louis