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After all, who really needs an IPO of The Onion (or fundamental analysis)...
(yes, these are real stories crossing the Bberg Terminal)
From John Lohman
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#4 put paints a strange picture.
And silver passes $43.... soon?
Call Doc Brown, cause it already happened.
Yeah, but remember: time travel is now officially banned in China.
http://business.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/14/china-bans-time-travel-for-tele...
0. Chevy Volt burns down garage as GM stock melts down the chart
http://www.wfsb.com/news/27541598/detail.html
I can recall hearing about other Chevy problems in the past, but this is the first one that's "Unsafe At Zero Speed."
sure am glad my chevies were made before nixon closed that gold window!
I believe that Corvairs pre-dated Nixon's crime of 19 August 1971 by some 10 years......
I had a Corvair! My first car. Paid $100 for it. What a ripoff! Push-button automatic transmission, small 4 cylinder engiine with a 4 barrel carburetor that used more gas than a fully loaded HumVee. Happiest day of my life was watching it disappear in to the sunset on the back of a wrecking truck.
Had a buddy once who turned a corvair into a mid-engine 454.
Crazy bastard survived too.
Several 'conversions' have been done on the Corvair. One was to take a FWD Olds Toronado 455 setup and install it mid-engined as well.
they were 6 cylinders
It gives me such a warm feeling to have personally assisted in the founding of Obamamotors...it wasn't voluntary and I still pretty heated about it.
The epitome of Government administered, Union made pieces of shit will soon become the new american icon: representing the failure of american industry. The next model will be called Edsellent.
Politics: Oh Baby: Try this: Bloomberg Tonight: Intelligence Debate: One Jew vs. One Jew vs. Dem. vs. Rep. vs. American Stupidity vs. American Ignorance vs. Arrogance vs. Egotistical vs. Dumb vs. Dumber vs. Margaret vs. Ignorant moderator. This is Dooms Day America vs. America is Now Japan and they tell you why. America is Doomed. On display all weekend for America to underestimate how stupid we are.
If anybody thinks I'm kidding: Just watch the audience. They are as confused as anybody who believes Blankfein is doing God's work.
Sorry, I forgot. LOL on anybody who believes these pieces of shit. Friday humor that gives all weekend.
Next new model from GM, the all new Trebant!
oops.
"New guidelines issued on March 31 discourage plot lines that contain elements of "fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking."
Guess that nixes any Chinese reporting on US politics or rumored economic recovery.
And especially teleprompter, er I mean Obama's speeches.
Most of those super-glued to a store toilet type incidents have been self-inflicted by the vicitim in order to get paid. I've no idea about this latest one, though.
I have a copy of
The Rape of the A.P.E (American Puritan Ethic : The Official History of the Sex Revolution, 1945-1973 : The Obscening of America, an R.S. V.P.), Allan Sherman, Putnam Publishing Group, 1973
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/The_Rape_of_the_A*P*E*
What Sherman described as outrageous back then is so common today it doesn't even raise an eyebrow.
http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2011/04/13/man-engulfed-in-flames-at-sa...
A man was hospitalized Wednesday evening with life-threatening, third-degree burns after somehow catching fire inside a San Francisco porn store, authorities told CBS 5.
The fire occurred at the Golden Gate Adult Superstore at 99 Sixth Street, near the intersection with Mission Street, in the city’s South of Market neighborhood around 6:20 p.m.
Police officers across the street from the porn shop saw a man run out the front door of the store “engulfed in flames,” SFPD Lt. Kevin McNaughton said.
Some firefighters who happened to be about a block away at the time were immediately summoned and extinguished the flames.
Arson investigators said it was not exactly clear how the man caught fire. Police indicated he had apparently been watching videos in a private booth at the adult arcade when the fire ignited.
The man, whose name has not been released, was being treated at St.
Francis Memorial Hospital for severe burns over 90% of his body.
http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?sts=t&tn=The+Rape+of+the+A...
How retarded is SF? Brix 'n mortar store fronts? c'mon dudes!
- Ned
Makes you wonder what he was rubbing so hard to spark the fire.
That's some hot cock right there.
People burning is classified as arson?
I did not know that.
this the funniest shit I read all week matey!
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he was watchin a crack smokin' her finger while his fingers were smokin' crack and he pulled a god damn fukin RICHARD PRIOR and lit his ass UP!!!!!!!
ME BEIN' BEN-BURNS-YANKEE shit like this CRACKS ME UP UM KIMOSABE!!!
11. Obama wants plutonium amex card for 'States.
Lean hogs kicked ass.
The center of the universe always comes back to the pork.
Bow before the bacon.
u betcha' ;-)
letterman lives!
hey paul! keep on rockin in the free world+++
Per the Top 10 routine, the most ridiculous is always #1.
Yet not only is the $36B number still all over the news, today we get another $6.2T "cut" by the ebil RRRRRRs.
I want the film clip of #5
ask and ye shall receive...
http://www.wftv.com/video/27464150/index.html
'Icelands penis museum finally gets human specimen'
Timmy G went to Iceland and donated himself as 'human penis with ears' exhibit?
bags was on top of that story, FOR SURE his main dick joke in his latest genius work. i think he got a penis enlargement procedure this week. don't tell anyone, he wants his dick preserved, but i don't think in iceland, probably one of his favorites, amber maybe. he wants his penis preserved in amber or maybe jessica simpson.
Timmay has to wear high shirt collars to hide the circimcision marks.
Ya mean the one with the rubber pulled over his head?? Milestones
Funny that you mention that.
Bloomerg?
That Chinese innovation is the kinda thing we need here in 'Murka.
That Chinese innovation is the kinda thing we need here in 'Murka.'
...and the world trusts them to look after Our Pandas.
Pandas are too big for keyrings, don't worry. Ships prows, maybe.
Yes, but would a Panda penis make a good key ring?
+ 353 million
Are pandas into body piercing? How hard would it be to find one with a cock ring?
#2 and #9 are the same story.
LOL! +11 plus one free captcha pass! heluva day not to stop drinkin!
Sounds like you know your dicks!
Thanks for keeping us straight.
You have to get up pretty early in the morning to read a dick story before I do.
So this (Pot belly Pig) credit bonzaii7. Walks up to Hu Jintao, and gently whispers something in his ear.
What is that WHISPER?
Truth really is stranger than fiction.
Slightly OT : HAPPY FDIC FAIL FRIDAY! It's been a few weeks but we're back with a vengeance.... 5 closures today and it's only 5:30 CDT. One of them had 3 billion in assets (Superior Bank in AL) - Looks like we took it in the shorts on that one!
SO (XLF) has a rebirth next week?
Free the Keating 5?
FREE TIBET!!!
You are stuck in the 80's. Keating %? Of what? Come on man I'm on your side!
lol! sorry for the confusion, Y/C. i was actually responding to the guy above you, thru you. yeah, it was retro. the S&L crisis saw keatings Lincoln Saving & its corp. parent drag 5 US senators thru an ethics committee shakedown. they got off, of course, kinda like today. the senators he allegedly paid for? mccain, glenn, deconcini, riegle, and cranston. john glenn was deemed the most innocent by the "investigation" and there was a deck of cards with keating and the five senators on his hand like finger puppets!
cranston got censured by the senate. after they read it into the record, he gave a big speech on why he was innocent and his atty, alan douche-o-witz actually held a press conference saying cranston hadn't done anything different from anyone else. he had merely been caught. really.
good thing we got that shit behind us, eh?
tyler was so freaked w/ what phil angelides said after his recent whitewashings that i thought he was gonna cross the line, there, if ya follow, Y/C. tyler is, like, (in some ways, ok?) one news cycle away from leading the Z's to storm the bastille!
just an attempt to make a retro reference to today's "news" and yes, what this crook actually pulled on the way to his real estate, S & L, and corporate holding company empire collapse has become, unfortunately, the template for "donations" today, and, of course, they are all much better at doing it, too! just ask angelides!
well, Y/C: slewie is almost back into his picture frame now, ok?
oh! i didn't junk you, Y/C. i understood you. LOL. i think...
Speaking of humor. I got the stupid fucking air force coming at me through vpn's because of my helicopter hate speach.
When they attack I won't head shot them because their brain is not a working fucking organ and isn't essential to their life. So I'll shoot them in their little pussy joystick hands.
I urge people to start Copter Clux Clan websites. Spray paint helicopter hate speach on your fucking neighbor that works at dresser rand or Texas Instruments of death. Use peer guardian and watch google try to do ianna private use functions all over your computer.
Oh and dear air force. Fuck your box grinder.
Could you repeat that in English please?
English is a funny language when slurred......
Slewied you mean
i hear that!
i love helicopters, tho! never rode in one, i didn't enjoy the hell outa the ride! even if it had sides!
i got to ride in a helicopter in New York City. i think '68, there was an airplane strike at one of the airports in and around the city. i had just flown in from austria and my parents hired a helicopter for me to get to an open airport. that was so much fun, back then. birds eye view of the city scape.
vpn's are virtual private networks. My internet is fucked because my ISP keeps trying to route me through a bunch of virtual private networks. IE networks that take IP's from close to me and then try to route it all over the goddamn place.
As I said. I'm going to war with this telecommunications nonsense. The internet is going to be one of two things. You are your own router and retain control of who get's access to you and who doesn't. NONE of this ISP bullshit. Or two. It's taken over by the assholes who try to get you to pay double and triple for shit and then pester you to fucking death with thier stupid ass spoofing crap. Making everybody dump the internet and start a huge subculture of Mac spoofing, voip stealing phreakers.
If you're cable company wants you to pay triple for the technology system to send lying ass stupid programming that you don't want in the first place, it's not a good system. It's a system where a few people get to say who gets access to you and who doesn't. When that should be based on peoples rights and wish to share and communicate with each other.
1) if u r having security issues. Install TOR or use an anonymizing proxy.
2) if u r being jacked around by ur provider then upgrade ur phone to a 3G service, get an Android based smart phone with built in hotspot and become ur own provider.
This was posted from my laptop comp on the train in motion, no cable provider on the train.
try a fuking phone modem for the desktop. don't download Utoob, LOL! just over $100/ yr. heph, you're too intelligent and valuable to lose your mind over something a luddite just laughs at.
we all get monitored for this and that, but if you're spewing hate or violence beyong fight club norms into the web, remember that a helicopter can be brought down with a .22 rifle! certainly a hunting rifle. in nam there were boonie legends of guys augering in from arrows!
if you don't like the way some "reviewers" do their jobs, don't give them the work!
SLEWIE. What is the RBA rate rise in the next quarter? Swan me.
SLEWIE. What is the RBA rate rise in the next quarter? Swan me.
offhand i would think flat, possibly a decrease. japan. also, for them, china. and queensland, big-time. tremendous spirit of getting things done there. awesome, really! people my age saying: you go help your wife with the kids, son. ma & i can lay this foundation out and form it up for the pour without you!
AUD is kickin ass! yay commodity currencies! there has been some hawkinsness in the past years over RE valualtions. very political stuff, too. then some pols decide to change the rules re extraction of resources and strengthen the goobermint and nothing makes a bit of sense for months!
ignorance being my claim to valor, but i think steady and ease if things slow, which they might. the AUD is pretty strong and doesn't need defending. i don't know how housing prices are in the W, but a lot of property and wealth was nicked in the east. force majeure declared at the docks. railroads not able to get china's stuff to port. ouch.
hypothetically, they could see "inflation" and the need to act, now! practically, they may also see some inflation. everybody else is! but in terms of the AUD, not so bad as the USD. AUD stronger. so, i don't they will see overheating and the need for increased rates and braking.
what's yer take?
That be some good shit you're drinking/smoking/snorting. Please share.
Sure. 67.215.253.140
and 67.215.253.139.
Who the fuck are these assholes.
smoke up.
They are these guys:
http://securedprivatenetwork.net/
Nope those guys are 216.144.224.4.
Secured private networks are not an institution or a place. They are simply blocks of ip addresses the cunt fuck air force and cunt fuck banks and cunt fuck israeli internet trolls and cunt fuck cia have propriated to hide where they are coming from. They are not getting any chance to do anything. But they keep wanting to stuff me into the routing tables and they got their timeouts set pretty high. So anything I do I have to wait for them to give up.
I could just disapear and turn into a south american using someone else ISP. But I barely have the technical knowledge to ask them some very fucking uncomfortable questions. So I might as well get in their face and explain how this anal probing thing works.
And honestly my ISP is very good. I had no reaction to them at all. They have simply been 'turned' very recently and have nearly instantly turned from a big hug reaction from me to a let me beat you to death with your own baby reaction.
FUK ME DEAD BIG H U FUNNY!
You think those guys have to hide? Hell no. They've got 2048 bit encryption same as you, they can pass packets across public lines and nobody would know what was in them. And if they used an onion router, nobody would even know where the packets came from or were going.
I don't know what you think you found, but it's not the CIA and it sure as hell isn't all the spooks in the world working under the same block of IPs. Like they've got a budget problem or something. And you think they are actually routing you? As if. They wouldn't need to route jack, all they'd need to do is sit a packet filter on your switch down at the co-lo, let the co-lo route you, and copy your stream to disk for later analysis. You'd never know what hit you because nothing did.
This stuff is real easy. I've got enough technology sitting on this laptop I'm using to land me in Federal prison on spying charges if I hooked it up the right way. Short of that, it's software anybody can run for any other reason and do all the time when doing network analysis for security evaluations.
And don't get me started on wireless. If you are using wireless you are easily pwn3d. The geek teenager down the block knows everything about everyone, at a certain level of abstraction.
Check this out
http://statcounter.com/
What is STATCOUNTER?
A free yet reliable invisible web tracker, highly configurable hit counter and real-time detailed web stats. Insert a simple piece of our code on your web page or blog and you will be able to analyse and monitor all the visitors to your website in real-time!
not to worry, AF heloz are harmless unless you are hiding one of their pilots. Then greenie Ospreys come in and scoop up the pilot in the TRAP. don't cha' know. - Ned
FUK dude u rock? somehow i guess, no that is past fukin weird. go home and resend from portable mil spec parabolic dish to satellite burst transmitter. NSA has obviously got to reconfigure and retransmit your destructions.
(PS THIS DUDE IS GLOWIN RED AND BRIGHT ON HELM RADAR AS A BANDIT)
You know, I've often wondered about shooting robots, but not once did I ever consider doing it naked.
Here's to you, Mr. Swingin'-Dick-Robot-Slayer! Not even the Terminator wants to deal with you.
Outstanding stuff NotApplicable!
WTF is a robot doing in his house in the first place?? Did it bust down the door?
I quess we can all presume that #3 was not a demolition derby
better than
a swinging robot dick slayer
i guess
DUMB ME DOWN!
have i wandered to Facebook? no, i remember solving the captcha. otherwise, it's the same.
Expand and Capture your own book of friends.
With the inflation, lots of people will be shitting at walmart, unfortunately it is no prank, but the joke is on us.
You read econ. calendars! Right?
Why does the word penis occupy 20% of the top 10?
Cause that is the way their crusty minds work.
Pickled Dick story.
http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=205407
Speaking of Friday humor, what about the TEPCO-like retraction by Spanish officials re. their announcement that CIS (China) would be injecting €9bn in investment into its troubled savings banks:
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/63862548-668d-11e0-ac4d-00144feab49a.html#axzz...
According to the them, there was an “error of communication”. For the love of God, tell me how do you incorrectly communicate NINE TRILLION EUROS?!!!
nine billion, ms fatale, abt $12.5 Bn dollars. have another toke, and try the madiera, too...
either the check didn't get signed, or it didn't clear. most likely the former, eh? maybe china had enuf "money" out that it'll never freaking see, already.
The check was signed. The check was cached. Niggah!
China said they would send the money when they get their rebate check from circuit city
i just took ms. fatale @ her word. do you mean cashed? or do you mean "cached" (put on hold, folded in another aspect of the deal)?
ms natale seems to think cached. not delivered. you seem to concur. i'm just laughing and coffee's coming outa my nose...
it's Miss Fatale Slewie... and FYI, the visual of coffee coming out of your nose is not appealing to the fairer sex ;)
How about tonite's Bloomberg headline:
"Internet Poker Entrepreneurs Charged With Fraud, U.S. Says
"Founders of Internet gambling companies PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker were among 11 people charged by the U.S. in a case that seeks at least $3 billion in forfeitures and penalties.
"A revised indictment issued yesterday includes charges of bank fraud, money laundering and illegal gambling. It is the latest in a series of criminal cases against Internet gambling companies brought by U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara in Manhattan."
This Bloomberg headline is a sick joke. The Wall Street scumbags who committed bank fraud, money laundering, etc. are walking free, and have a license to break the laws, and have the fooking federal government financing their robbery of the taxpayers, pension funds, and anyone with two dimes to rub together.
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-04-15/internet-poker-entrepreneurs-ch...
$3 Bn is chump change to pStarz. the criminal indictments are to try to turn a shitheaded moronic snitch for "immunity". duh.
i have played on these 3 sites, as have countless others, i'm sure. one site was even involved in an insider cheating scandal where some greedy bastard knew the other guy's cards and pushed him off his big bluff with, like, a 9-high nada! the hands are recorded. this was a big fukin game, and people who saw or reviewed the action just said, bullshit! the re-bluffer almost certainly knew that the other guy was bluffing. and, they were right, too!
money draws strange flies, and poker sites are almost all about the money, except for the play money games they provide, and free-roll tournaments, plenty and often. i've played on sites for free. not a bad way to gamble, really. trust me!
these sites also offer "matching for new or selected depositors." you can send in $500 and get a free $500, or sometimes even better! however, to "spend" the "free $500" you may hafta spend a heluva lot more than just yer original $500, depending on yer luck and skill, and whatever else is goin down 4 ya, that day! small print? try it and see for yerself! they will tell ya what the deal is, first. if you can understand it, it may help you decide how to proceed. if you don't understand it, proceed, and lose yer ass to the carneys, who look to take abt 10% of every cent wagered, special circumstances not considered, well, that's why pStarz isn't gonna sweat a few $ Bn.
barney fukin frank pushed the last moronic "anti-gambling" law thru. what a crock of stinkin shit, too! Unlarful Internet Gamblin Enforcement Act of 2006; Internet Gambling Regulation And Enforcement Act 2007; 2009, 2010, Reid Bill Feb, 2011. Make yer latest bets on Internet Gambling Legislation, Here!!! Homeland Securitized for bribe-abiltities and complete confusion! just trust them, and shut tf up, ok?
so, there can be rather expensive little misunderstandings! fortunately, the poker players, even when ass-reamed w/ no vaseline, are, like 20X as intelligent as the crooked pols, even when passed out cold from a marathon! these guys missed a payment and there was some confusion with the new committee bagsful and so on. they'll work it i out pay the man, and immune for a while just like the bad guys. at least they better, eh?
you are about to hear the most amazing crock of shit in modern history from this D.A. out to make a name, eh? go to a local card room or casino that spreads poker and they'll probably have free magazine which will follow Barney's Bouncing Balls, same as always.
slow night; under 19,000 tables and 117,000 playas on pStarz, right now!
Don't get my team started sloppy!
Nice compulation. Junk away.
Speaking of humor - Donald Trump as president? C'mon - are we being set up here big time for Barak Hussein Obama II or what?
Whats really funny is that the world runs on 0s and 1s in Fed's computer.
So. who is the Liberal puke that Junks me? Bitch!
It's Jamie! Vacation and his sponsorship. Last I checked he doesn't trade anymore?
Live animal keyrings. Who says the Chinese can't innovate?
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/04/14/china.animal.keyring/?hp...
Nice ! The middle of the gallaxy thing. I'm a CRAB!
More great humor today, 6 banks shut down http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870462840457626556190844392...
They need to shut down more small banks.
End result is that the money and credit destroyed via the closing of small banks offsets QE money creation, with the benefit of leaving nobody standing in the end but the TBTF banks! Don't you just love it when a plan comes together.
And I read the headline as, "Friday Afternoon Hummer."
Oh well, maybe next Friday afternoon....
Driving across West Texas Thursday I listened to Bloomberg radio. IMO this is a very spun media and is way off key for a ZH reader (or any other rational person who reads a bit). Even my wife, who does not pay attention, was laughing. A rename could be TOP RADIO cause of the spinning like a top.
You want humor? Try this press release from the Federal Reserve.
"The Federal Reserve Board on Wednesday announced formal enforcement actions requiring 10 banking organizations to address a pattern of misconduct and negligence related to deficient practices in residential mortgage loan servicing and foreclosure processing. These deficiencies represent significant and pervasive compliance failures and unsafe and unsound practices at these institutions."
Breathtaking stupidity or bottomless hypocrisy? Either way, really, really funny. The Fed is protecting America from those awful criminal banks, God is truly on our side. Thank you Chairman Ben. Circular firing squad - ready, aim ...
"The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) on Wednesday announced formal enforcement actions requiring 10 armed bank robbers to address a pattern of misconduct related to stealing of depositors money. The enforcement action requires the bank robbers to seek counseling from a psychiatryst or psycho-cologist or a certifried financial planner."
Are they in competition with Huffington Post?
I just scanned today's news feed and found these real headlines:
10. Bullying Pushes 7 Year Old to Opt for Plastic Surgery On Her hears
9. Weight Loss Improves memory
8. Topamax Recalled for odor
7. Oregon Mother Surprised her Two Sons Kept Caged
6. Alcohol and Energy Drinks a Risky Combination
5. Is Sitting a Lethal Activity
4. Apple Sued over In App Purchasing by Kids
3. Deal to Raise Debt Ceiling Will Actually Require Some Spending Cuts Obama Says
2. US and China Agree to Process to Analyze Risks Worldwide
1. Online Poker Sites Face Federal Crackdown [so this is what they are busy doing]
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Delaware Crossing!
I met that woman's kids, and lemme tell ya, I sure ain't fuckin' suprised.
This is a Forum of thought. Take your Bull shit agenda some where else. I don't JUNK anyone you pussies!
Hey, watch that strong language. There are kids playing here.
Please proceed to tokyo disney to cheer yourself up now. Too much doom and gloom is bad for your prostate. Spending will help the japanese economy cleanse itself from radiation.
Disneyland seeks to lift Japanese moodhttp://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/d5e6c79e-6784-11e0-9138-00144feab49a.html#axzz...
seriously, i can't do justice to the idiocy of this article.
NAILS.....Lenny the Street.Com best stock picker of all time..JIm Cramer tells all of his greatness......In handcuffs now!http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-04-15/former-baseball-player-lenny-dykstra-charged-with-bankruptcy-fraud.html If he really was 111-0 in stock picks how could this be....
... and the number one joke of the day is, ...
FUCKING FBI SHUT DOWN MY FAVORITE WEBSITE POKERSTARS THOSE FBI MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!
Sorry but the TSA agents were just too hottted up. They want to touch your dick and grope you. You are just going to have to get on a plane fly to las vegas and cattle car into the monopoly expression of gambling.
Yes, it's best to keep the Sheeples entertained with MSM Major News events...ooops, sorry , have to run....Tom Delay Dancing with the Stars reruns are on.....toodles!