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Friday Humor In Two Parts
Today's Friday Humor section consists of two parts: one is high brow, the other... not so much.
For the high brow, we remind readers of a chart posted on Monday that plotted a timeseries of the S&P, the VIX and investment grade credit spreads. The problem is that this chart was, well, backward looking. But what happens in the future? Below we recreate the same timeseries, only from the perspective of 2013. So for those attempting to map out the correlation between stocks, bonds and overall risk over the next two years, this chart is for you.
For the not so high brow, here is what happens when Hitler learns about Netflix' price increase. No commentary necessary.
And a second version:
h/t Jerry and Nolsgrad
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Looks like the "unexpected Monday Good News" has been priced in. Meanwhile..NO QE..slow market bleeding and the need for a 15% drop validating QE3 is in play. Stay short till Jax Hole.
"unexpected Monday Good News" is expected.
Good news might cause vacuum tube melt downs on the trading bots, I think theyre scared of it. Got to Goldilocks the hell out of everything now.
Good news/bad news.... all the news.
Sheeeeeit, with all's going on in the world, the fucking thing is falling apart, holding on to the edge of Armageddon by a simple frayed thread, lead by perhaps the largest agglomerations of fucking incompetents ever assembled, worldwide, having passed the threshold of the event horizon, breaking the Nash Equilibrium, everybody spouting pablum to the point of believing their very own propaganda....
We're definitely going to need several humor based items for shit and grins this weekend. The bullshit fatigue is getting way past overdone, tired, overextended, sad, dry, past, spoiled and no longer even tolerable. The last vestiges of the thin veneer of civilisation are dissolving before our very eyes.
This calls for madness, mahem and suerlative cynical, sarcastic, deeply intellectual, cutting, dry, no holds barred, twisted, degenerate and dispicable humor.
As a last resort, to fortify our intellectual curiosity, indeed reaffirm our faith in whatever we might wish to reaffirm our faith in, for the redeeming purpose of reaffirming our very faith in the reaffirmable. Uplift us spiritually and prepare us for the next onslaught of the Moronic Inferno, for we all know, we're getting that feeling that this just ain't gonna come out right.
And I know this, because Knukles knows.
And you know it, too.
All's not well that ends.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA+++++++++++++++++++++++
Hitler missed his calling. He is/was an entertaining movie star.
I do remember seeing entertaining movies starring Hitler.
The man did have a lot of skils.
He was a good speecher like Obama.
He wanted to rebuild his country but turned it into ashes in the end... like Obama will.
He painted.... Oké, Obama can't paint. But maybe he hasn't tried it out yet?
We could get him started on the outside of the White House. Simple colour scheme...two coats...what could go wrong?! It would at least keep him away from STARTING MORE WARS!!
Only with U.N. approval!
Tuco
You saying because he's black then he should be outside painting the house instead of living in it? You sir are a racist. I keed.
Speaking of racists:
http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/house/171807-sheila-jackson-lee-su...
What a twat. She should be immediately recalled for that horse shit.
That is the funniest thing I've read in a while. This play has everything. We'll laugh, we'll cry, it will end up being much better than Cats.
j0nx,
Agreed, what a twat she is.
She's playing a racist card herself. 'You don't agree with Obama, it's because you're racist'.
It's a way to try and negate any discussion or argument. Same thing with Israel. 'You don't agree with Israeli actions, it's because you're anti Semitic'.
Pathetic.
DavidC
That's the real reason O'Bama wants to raise tax...So he can hire some one to paint the WH this year. Otherwise its Michelle and himeself! Michelle only good for about 20 minutes before she gets pooped out, and goes back inside to watch TV.
Hmmm. That would be funny if someone slipped in an earmark that states the President must paint the WH himself this summer. That would quickly put an end to earmarks in future bills.
20 minutes? Hell, that's nineteen minutes longer than my wife would be outside helping me paint.
I was being polite about it. She would come out and complain for 20 minutes, how he's doing it all wrong, before storming back in to go watch TV!
I wonder if Muslims take Bush and Obama speeches and put funny arabic subtitles on them?
should have just let him into art school...would have saved everyone a lot of trouble...moral...don't piss off an artist
That's what happens when one overreaches. He should have learned something from Napoleon.
those hitler clips never get old. lol
Maybe it's funny if you don't know German. Otherwise its sort of painful.
two words: mute
:-p
Now you know how it feels to listen to ANY American politician, but especially those in DC.
Yup.
99 red balloons go.... pop.
7 point spread.
The low brow never gets old. Same scene over and over, but beautifully re-created with the proper subtitles with so many applications.
As for the high brow, my 8 month old daughter would have a lot of fun popping all those "baubles." She's just starting to walk, but she's already smarter than all Wall St. economists, because a blank slate economic mind is way ahead of one packed with volumes of Keynesian ecomoronics.
Our global leaders have lost all ambition in these dark recessionary times.
It was not always this way............
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGYSQ-xtWl4
Why the Teleprompter in Chief is always 30 minutes late to every press conference, that he himself schedules:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl_TFyk2GJo&NR=1
Yes, it involves "Eat your peas" and "Americans living in ______ want _____" outtakes.
Its amazing how Orson can make something so shallow seem so deep while the President can turn something so deep ( the debt abyss) into a shallow pool.
PS - many years ago The Brain tells a scary story to the young Pepsi max generation.
The Debt Bomb will get you
But they found the tale uninteresting at the time..........................
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9rTkVlbTcQ
In the time it took you to laugh at Hitler, The market popped 33 points.
Shows how broken and meaningless it all is.
yeah, those bastards just never quit, do they? couldn't stand to have 3 days in a row of "JUMP UP & fade....." Might look like something's wrong
lol brow
Can't wait for the 'Hitler reacts to suspension of Social Security Payments' one.
Or veterans benefits...those guys all have guns.
No entitlements will be affected. The Repubes just want Zero to give them a way to sleaze thru to an increase in the debt ceiling...w/o looking like they caved again. So far, Zero is hanging tough.
.
reed hastings can eat a dick...nice earnings release coward
I can't believe that just happened.
Dirty Dancing...my wife's favorite movie. Now I'm scared.
Great stuff from Bernanke's boss! Thanks T. D.!
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez
One of my wife's favorites as well. You and I have a lot in common it seems (Dora and sleepless daughters). Anyway, whenever that movie comes up, it's always a friendly argument of how good/bad it is.
I think I peed my pants a little when he said, "Nobody puts Hitler in the corner!"
Yeah I will painfully sit through it ( Dirty Dancing that is)trying not to wince....at least noticeably.
Is that Perry the platypus you have as your icon? You are a dad :)
Whats the definition of a frenzy?
2 blind lesbians in a fish market.
(alternatively , The Bernank and The Jeithner when they realize Brian Sack has left the building)
I've become curious about the "screaming Hitler" clip. Does anyone know what movie that is? And is there a clip that has English subtitles of the actual rant?
Its from a fantastic film/drama called Downfall , covering obviously the end of Hitler and the Third Reich.
How long before the sequel "Free Fall" staring Eddie Murphy as Barack Hussein Barry Soetoro Obama?
We've covered this. RuPaul for any Obama parts. A heavily CGIed Divine for Pelosi. Joe Biden as himself.
Sorry missed that thread. I must have been reading the Bawny Fwank bashing thread.
Eddie can do the stunts.
And who do Michelle?
Moms Mabley comes to mind, but she's dead.
Tyler Perry maybe?
everyone
Joan Rivers for Pelosi and she wouldn't need any CGI at all.
But you lose the irony.
Good point. Even worse, Joan has nice tits.
Oliver Hirschbiegel's 2004 film Der Untergang
It's such a good depiction of Hitler's final days in the bunker that writing in your own script about the end of XYZ is practically the new iambic pentameter for the downfall set.
Marla penned one about the 2008 meltdown here: http://equityprivate.typepad.com/
Hey there old timer!
I was able to find an original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bmkUlXp5sk
Pretty damned dramatic. Knowing what was really being said in the orginal makes these parodies all the more funny.
And related:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT2-AuEb7Bc
What's it called again when you drive the competition out of business by undercutting their prices...and then raise your prices once they have been eliminated?
Exxon Standard Practice.
Standard Oil standard practice. Exxon is the child just recently trying on the boots of the man.
Rex has got to Go!
Microsoft makes Exxon look like an amateur.
"Downstream subsidization"
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez
"Competition is a sin." John D. Rockefeller
I find no humor in S & M. Quick, somebody shove me in the shallow water.
... before I get too .... deep. Don't let me get too deep!
~ Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
That 2007-2008 financial crisis historical model diagram, prophetic or what? That looks like Italy's "boot" down there at the lower right.
Tyler,
Liked that one but thought this one matches the emotional cycles of the film better.
(NSFW - unless you work at the SEC - in which case, you've seen "The Human Centipede")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhkcBlV2qpw
barliman
I liked that version better.
That pretty well sums up my reaction.
Much funnier.
If you mix The Bernank's fed model with Hitler's rant you get something like this:
Nena - 99 Luftballons : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NxPO1Ni34g&
Yeah, I know this isn't said very often (if ever), but I'm with Hitler on this one.
I am Chumbawamba.
Only you could come up with that reply, Chumba ;->
(wanted to reply before the resident "It's all a Jewish conspiracy" nuts jump in)
You must not have a lot of skinheads around your part of the woods ...
... one of them started chatting up my son in a local supermarket a couple of years back ... he was surprized when my son politely asked him to leave him alone - forever.
barliman
Mefo Bills Bitches.
Those charts are freaking funny, it's just a matter of time before this whole house of cards come down.
so many comments that not sure if someone noticed
it ended with same words like in wall street one...or am I illusnation
Politicians suck, but Comparing anyone to Hitler is ridiculous,
Unless they are:
Pol Pot
Mao Tse Tung
Joseph Stalin
Sodamn Insane
I like the idea of Hitler watching Netflix in Hell.
What should he be made to watch though? BBC? Tela Novelas?
Tied to a chair, eyelids taped open, watching an endless loop of "Yentl", starring Barbra Streisand.
How could I forget Osama Bin Leaden?!
Hitler never gets old, I mean, Hitler is a cheap bastard, I mean, Hitler needs anger management, I mean, Hitler liked a little golden shower, I mean, umm...nevermind. Hitler sucked.
Okay, what the heck is the joke about the graph. I have looked at the darn thing until my eyes crossed. Looking for bernankes face or a toilet or something....what did I miss???
The second chart looks like a banker's prostitute (aka business expense) falling forward.