Friday Humor In Two Parts

Tyler Durden's picture

Today's Friday Humor section consists of two parts: one is high brow, the other... not so much.

For the high brow, we remind readers of a chart posted on Monday that plotted a timeseries of the S&P, the VIX and investment grade credit spreads. The problem is that this chart was, well, backward looking. But what happens in the future? Below we recreate the same timeseries, only from the perspective of 2013. So for those attempting to map out the correlation between stocks, bonds and overall risk over the next two years, this chart is for you.

For the not so high brow, here is what happens when Hitler learns about Netflix' price increase. No commentary necessary.


And a second version:

h/t Jerry and Nolsgrad

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John McCloy's picture

Looks like the "unexpected Monday Good News" has been priced in. Meanwhile..NO QE..slow market bleeding and the need for a 15% drop validating QE3 is in play. Stay short till Jax Hole.

YesWeKahn's picture

"unexpected Monday Good News" is expected.

SheepDog-One's picture

Good news might cause vacuum tube melt downs on the trading bots, I think theyre scared of it. Got to Goldilocks the hell out of everything now.

knukles's picture

Good news/bad news.... all the news.

Sheeeeeit, with all's going on in the world, the fucking thing is falling apart, holding on to the edge of Armageddon by a simple frayed thread, lead by perhaps the largest agglomerations of fucking incompetents ever assembled, worldwide, having passed the threshold of the event horizon, breaking the Nash Equilibrium, everybody spouting pablum to the point of believing their very own propaganda....

We're definitely going to need several humor based items for shit and grins this weekend.  The bullshit fatigue is getting way past overdone, tired, overextended, sad, dry, past, spoiled and no longer even tolerable.  The last vestiges of the thin veneer of civilisation are dissolving before our very eyes.

This calls for madness, mahem and suerlative cynical, sarcastic, deeply intellectual, cutting, dry, no holds barred, twisted, degenerate and dispicable humor. 
As a last resort, to fortify our intellectual curiosity, indeed reaffirm our faith in whatever we might wish to reaffirm our faith in, for the redeeming purpose of reaffirming our very faith in the reaffirmable.  Uplift us spiritually and prepare us for the next onslaught of the Moronic Inferno, for we all know, we're getting that feeling that this just ain't gonna come out right.
And I know this, because Knukles knows.
And you know it, too.

               All's not well that ends.

sgorem's picture


Fish Gone Bad's picture

Hitler missed his calling.  He is/was an entertaining movie star. 

Sudden Debt's picture

I do remember seeing entertaining movies starring Hitler.

The man did have a lot of skils.

He was a good speecher like Obama.

He wanted to rebuild his country but turned it into ashes in the end... like Obama will.

He painted.... Oké, Obama can't paint. But maybe he hasn't tried it out yet?



i-dog's picture

"Oké, Obama can't paint. But maybe he hasn't tried it out yet?"

We could get him started on the outside of the White House. Simple colour scheme...two coats...what could go wrong?! It would at least keep him away from STARTING MORE WARS!! 

Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

Only with U.N. approval!



j0nx's picture

You saying because he's black then he should be outside painting the house instead of living in it? You sir are a racist. I keed.

Speaking of racists:

What a twat. She should be immediately recalled for that horse shit.

tarsubil's picture

That is the funniest thing I've read in a while. This play has everything. We'll laugh, we'll cry, it will end up being much better than Cats.

DavidC's picture

Agreed, what a twat she is.

She's playing a racist card herself. 'You don't agree with Obama, it's because you're racist'.

It's a way to try and negate any discussion or argument. Same thing with Israel. 'You don't agree with Israeli actions, it's because you're anti Semitic'.



AGuy's picture

That's the real reason O'Bama wants to raise tax...So he can hire some one to paint the WH this year. Otherwise its Michelle and himeself! Michelle only good for about 20 minutes before she gets pooped out, and goes back inside to watch TV.

Hmmm. That would be funny if someone slipped in an earmark that states the President must paint the WH himself this summer. That would quickly put an end to earmarks in future bills.



Osmium's picture

20 minutes?  Hell, that's nineteen minutes longer than my wife would be outside helping me paint.

AGuy's picture

I was being polite about it. She would come out and complain for 20 minutes, how he's doing it all wrong, before storming back in to go watch TV!


FEDbuster's picture

I wonder if Muslims take Bush and Obama speeches and put funny arabic subtitles on them? 

caerus's picture

should have just let him into art school...would have saved everyone a lot of trouble...moral...don't piss off an artist

FeralSerf's picture

That's what happens when one overreaches.  He should have learned something from Napoleon.

greased up deaf guy's picture

those hitler clips never get old. lol

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Maybe it's funny if you don't know German. Otherwise its sort of painful.

Uncle Remus's picture

Now you know how it feels to listen to ANY American politician, but especially those in DC.

ThirdCoastSurfer's picture

99 red balloons go.... pop. 

Stoploss's picture

7 point spread.

Larry Darrell's picture

The low brow never gets old.  Same scene over and over, but beautifully re-created with the proper subtitles with so many applications.

As for the high brow, my 8 month old daughter would have a lot of fun popping all those "baubles."  She's just starting to walk, but she's already smarter than all Wall St. economists, because a blank slate economic mind is way ahead of one packed with volumes of Keynesian ecomoronics.

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Our global leaders have lost all ambition in these dark recessionary times.

It was not always this way............


wisefool's picture

Why the Teleprompter in Chief  is always 30 minutes late to every press conference, that he himself schedules:

Yes, it involves "Eat your peas" and "Americans living in ______ want _____" outtakes.

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Its amazing how Orson can make something so shallow seem so deep while the President can turn something so deep ( the debt abyss) into a shallow pool.


PS - many years ago The Brain tells a scary story to the young Pepsi max generation.

The Debt Bomb will get you

But they found the tale uninteresting at the time..........................



plocequ1's picture

In the time it took you to laugh at Hitler, The market popped 33 points. 

SheepDog-One's picture

Shows how broken and meaningless it all is.

cosmictrainwreck's picture

yeah, those bastards just never quit, do they? couldn't stand to have 3 days in a row of "JUMP UP & fade....." Might look like something's wrong

MobBarley's picture

Can't wait for the 'Hitler reacts to suspension of Social Security Payments' one.


SheepDog-One's picture

Or veterans benefits...those guys all have guns.

CompassionateFascist's picture

No entitlements will be affected. The Repubes just want Zero to give them a way to sleaze thru to an increase in the debt ceiling...w/o looking like they caved again. So far, Zero is hanging tough.

caerus's picture

reed hastings can eat a dick...nice earnings release coward

uformula's picture

I can't believe that just happened.

Dr. Engali's picture

Dirty wife's favorite movie. Now I'm scared.

Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

Great stuff from Bernanke's boss!  Thanks T. D.!


Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez

Agent P's picture

One of my wife's favorites as well.  You and I have a lot in common it seems (Dora and sleepless daughters).  Anyway, whenever that movie comes up, it's always a friendly argument of how good/bad it is. 

I think I peed my pants a little when he said, "Nobody puts Hitler in the corner!"

Dr. Engali's picture

Yeah I will painfully sit through it ( Dirty Dancing that is)trying not to least noticeably.

Dr. Engali's picture

Is that Perry the platypus you have as your icon? You are a dad :)

equity_momo's picture

Whats the definition of a frenzy?

2 blind lesbians in a fish market.

(alternatively , The Bernank and The Jeithner when they realize Brian Sack has left the building)

cougar_w's picture

I've become curious about the "screaming Hitler" clip. Does anyone know what movie that is? And is there a clip that has English subtitles of the actual rant?

equity_momo's picture

Its from a fantastic film/drama called Downfall , covering obviously the end of Hitler and the Third Reich.

Dr. Engali's picture

How long before the sequel "Free Fall" staring Eddie Murphy as Barack Hussein Barry Soetoro Obama?

Uncle Remus's picture

We've covered this. RuPaul for any Obama parts. A heavily CGIed Divine for Pelosi. Joe Biden as himself.

Dr. Engali's picture

Sorry missed that thread. I must have been reading the Bawny Fwank bashing thread.