GM Files 500 Page Paperweight-cum-Prospectus, Hopes To Sell $10 Billion In Stock To Hapless Lemmings

Tyler Durden's picture

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Ragnarok's picture

Mandatory participation makes for successful IPO.

ZeroPower's picture

I wonder why theyre asking to be cross-listed with the TSX - i dont believe this was the case 'last time'

RobotTrader's picture

They are geniuses.

They picked the EXACT TOP in the auto sector to offload this garbage.

Check out TRW today....

HarryWanger's picture

As I said, I'm in Detroit for meetings and the auto execs are giddy and downright arrogant right now on this comeback. Having dinner with some execs in the suppliers tonight. These are the guys that said once we hit 12 million units, they'll be printing money in Detroit. Well, we hit over 12 million today - drinks are on them. BTW: One is an exec at TRW. Good times tonight!

hedgeless_horseman's picture

I don't give a shit how much they raise in this public offering;

I WILL NEVER BUT A GM PRODUCT. 

GM can go for eternity without paying any taxes;

I WILL NEVER BUY A GM PRODUCT.

The Chevy Volt can be the greatest invention since the Wonder Bra;

I WILL NEVER BUY A GM PRODUCT.

Fuck you, UAW, Obama, and General Motors;

I WILL NEVER BUY A GM PRODUCT.

sethstorm's picture

When other manufacturers can come up with that is underpowered, dollar-for-dollar versus GM's entire lineup, then I'll reconsider my decision to keep on buying General Motors's products.  If you want to drive something as bland as a saltine cracker, and as large as a golfcart, go ahead. 

As long as there is a Detroit company that brings US-built power to the masses, and not austerity in car design, I'll have mine General Motors.  Just not from their dead duck Buick division.  Nor will I buy anything marked eco-*, earth-friendly, hybrid, compact, sub-compact, "global", or anything that detracts from Detroit's way of more power for the dollar.

 

NoBull1994's picture

Trying to figure out what has more value, my Federal Reserve Notes or shares of GM.....

NotApplicable's picture

I wonder if they're giddy for the same reasons the homebuilders were after they collapsed, mega tax breaks. In GM's case, $45B in Benny Bucks!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142405274870446270457559064214910320...

Eally Ucked's picture

Now you'll be able to replace roof over your garage and pay for I-pad at one swing, what is the price we should pay for that shit?

SheepDog-One's picture

Sell it to Bernanke, he'll buy any garbage! I hope this travesty of GM does a full faceplant.

Gubbmint Cheese's picture

I wonder if somewhere in those 500+ pages is a line that says in effect, "the Govt and John Paulson may be shorting this issue"

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

You have got to love their attempts to convince us that the bailouts were not only a good idea, but a good investment for the sake of the nation!

AIG, TARP, ZIRP, don't worry, they all worked out amazingly well, never mind those people telling you they were handouts to the wealthy elite, trust us!  Right....

http://psychonews.site90.net

lizzy36's picture

Moral hazard a quaint notion, like the debt ceiling, and transparency.

John McCloy's picture

oo oooo and breaking news. CNBC will have Prince Alaweed on at 4:15 (Dressed in full James Bond Villian Regalia) to ask him "If he is interested in purchasing GM's offering.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX9k6gFX_TQ

SMG's picture

November 18th is IPO the day.  I guess no market crash till then.

mbasham's picture

Meanwhile small investors pulled another $2.9 billion from domestic equity mutual funds last week. What if GM holds a (stock) sale and nobody comes?

NotApplicable's picture

There is no way the would IPO this crap if they didn't already have buyers setup with Benny Bucks to buy it.

After all, this is a circus, not a market. The show must go on, and the show will go on.

OldTrooper's picture

"Hapless Lemmings"

Best laugh I've had all day!  So apt.

MarketTruth's picture

+1   Funny how few seem to remember the previous debt holders of GM were literally SLANDERED ON NATIONAL TV BY OBAMA and forced to take far, far less than what was legally and rightfully theirs due to GM bankruptcy. Only a total idiot would buy GM knowing the aforementioned information.

chunkylover42's picture

The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that the administration will "arm-twist" the folks over at Russell and S&P to have GM added to various indices, thus creating faux demand. 

My gut tells me that no matter how crappy this thing looks (hey, TWO STRAIGHT profitable quarters!), the gov't desperately needs something positive to cling to, so the stock will do well.

plocequ1's picture

500 pages? What a waste of fucking trees. All GM had to do is go to the FED and saved all that time and work.

SDRII's picture

Good thing that SAAR is back above 12. Walked that up just like consumer confidence off the March low

Turd Ferguson's picture

This is equivalent to Pets.com and all the other BS IPOs that were sold/pitched in Q1 2000. Everybody tried to steal as much $ as possible before the collapse.

Iceobar's picture

Where was Elizabeth Warren when they wrote this fireplace fodder? Something about "one page"???.....lol

Tinsu's picture

When do they start selling these shares?

Printfaster's picture

The shares will have already been sold by the PDs.  All you will see on IPO is short covering by the PDs.

 

In the mean time watch GM stock price action and distribution as the shorts are written.

 

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

GM Files 500 Page Paperweight-cum-Prospectus.............

A ream of paper for those who will soon be reamed.

goldmiddelfinger's picture

Meanwhile Chrysler waits for it's "C" symbol to be returned or it's third bailout

 

Justaman's picture

Can the gubmint buy crap, sell crap, and buy the same crap again...then report to us that we made a profit on the resurgence of American manufacturing? 

I just threw up...

 

 

NotApplicable's picture

Isn't a paperweight made of paper kind of like dividing by zero? Or does the binding save the day?

jus_lite_reading's picture

Since Government Motors is owned by Uncle Sam, it seems almost as if they were holding the markets up just long enough to unload this turd.

At one point, I thought GM had a glimmer of hope. Now, it's doomed to fail. The same old, "save a penny" cost cutting back in the day is going on now. "Hey I've got a great idea! Let's build a Cadillac in Mexico, where the labor is real cheap, so we can save a buck. But instead of passing on the savings to the customers, we'll pocket the savings and issue big fat bonuses!"

optimator's picture

This must mean the Government has finished its purchase of GM vehicles.  Sure made the books look good and I wonder if anyone has the numbers of vehicles purchased?

ejmoosa's picture

I suggest everyone request of copy of the paperweight prospectus, and have it mailed to them.

It's the most you as a taxpayer may ever get out of this deal.

 

Segestan's picture

Over priced .. but GM is a great company.

Ricky Bobby's picture

Bravo Tyler your opening paragraph is so wickedly righteous . I think if we look closer at the healthcare bill we will find all amerikans are required to buy GM stock.

wawawiwaa's picture

This stock is going to fly and everyone is going to be scratching their heads. Rather than complain partake in the free money and buy this sucker.

You would have made a killing in all the TARP paper particularly the preferreds etc after TARP was announced so close your eyes and BUY..

Downtoolong's picture

Dealers, professional traders, and underwriters are going to have a hay day with this issue, all in the name of glory for the common good. I expect for a couple of months it will be the new hot stock, like Apple or Google that everyone thinks they know something about and need to have a position in. The vol will be huge as a new story about GM’s latest R&D efforts, sales forecasts, and great expectations hits the CNBC headlines every day. Looks like the HFT gang still has at least 8 months to play this one out too.

 

The ones I feel sorry for are the die hard, buy American bunch who might still rationalize that they are somehow being patriotic by sinking their hard earned savings into this dog, buying shares up to $50. Then one morning they will wake up to find that all the Wall Street professionals who originally sold them on the stock were aggressively shorting it overnight, and their entire life savings will be worth less than the 1983 Buick parked in their driveway. But, don’t worry, that’s probably way off in the future, which in Wall Street time means sometime around April 1, 2011.

No More Bubbles's picture

How many millions did they spend on the fucking prospectus?  What a waste of money.  How long before the new equity is worthless again?  2 years maybe?

Bagbalm's picture

500 pages? Put a hot babe on the cover and sell it as a a bodice ripper. $24.98 and it will have better margins than the cars.

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Eally Ucked's picture

hope you don't sell gay sheepskin, do you have old fashion models like 1200 hundreds coming with bonus skull crushing hammer?Who the hell is Roxy and others?

 

Buck Johnson's picture

They don't know that GM is a dead company unless it can shed it's liabilities (the union pensions and healthcare for retires, including the pay scale).  GM will eventually have to file for bankruptcy again, because all the "good news" coming out is good until the IPO is put out and the stock is purchased.  Then you will see the real numbers and see that most of GM money was being subsidized by the Fed.

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