Goldman Downgrades China, Upgrades The Nikkei, As It Hikes Oil, And Other Non-Sequiturs

Tyler Durden's picture

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johnnynaps's picture

Upgrades Nikkei? I guess there is a shortage of nuclear products!

Ahmeexnal's picture

Or an abundancy of crack cocaine at the GS desks.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

The Fukushima reactors have people fiximg them, day and night.   That's right, you heard it here first.  They are fiximg the plants.  No, I didn't say they were fixing them, I said fiximg them!  In truth, nothing has been done and they are spewing out gamma ray emitting Xenon and Krypton gases.  Japan is going to a great big economic dead zone in a few years.

StychoKiller's picture

Has any Economist ever heard of the Broken Windows Fallacy?  Am I living in the Twilight Zone?

johnnynaps's picture

you haven't seen the last few years.......down is up

LaLiLuLeLo's picture

Japan's GDP contracted 3.7% in Q1. 3% expected in Q2. 

crack rocks abound

In Fed We Trust's picture

and with both parties advising default, NO downgrade on us bonds.

Interesting....

So it sounds like, bonds are going to be the next subprime, so go ahead Goldman , and recommend them,

Kyron95131's picture

same thing i was thinking... this transparent manipulation and bias is such a joke at this point...

silberblick's picture

Acclaimed Black social activist and university professor Cornel West calls out Obama as being a part of the oligarchy and challenges Americans to rise up like people in Europe and the Middle East are doing. Read here:

http://redpillfactory.blogspot.com/2011/05/cornel-west-calls-out-obama.html

DosZap's picture

When the astute Mr.West get's the 94% of black Americans that voted for him, and the 80%+ that still approve of his work(must be golf/vacations/pissing off BiBi), out to protest, I'll join in.

km4's picture

The squid moves in funny ways

 

Tokyo Electric Power (Tepco) has confirmed that there have been extra partial meltdowns in fuel rods at its damaged Fukushima nuclear power plant.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13497656

Last week, the president of Tepco, Masataka Shimizu, resigned. He will be replaced by managing director Toshio Nishizawa. The announcement came on the same day the company reported an annual loss of 1.25tn yen ($15.3bn; £9.4bn). Tepco's loss is a record for a non-financial firm in Japan. The company's share price has fallen more than 80% since the earthquake.

Hedgetard55's picture

This is very BAD news for the hedgetard, who likes to fade Goldman more than Obama likes to .. well, never mind. I have some shekels in two Japan funds, which were doing well until the earthquake/tsunami. Now there is NO chance for them to recover.

 

OT, but there is a new Rapture date from Harold Camping. You sinners have until Oct. 21, 2011 to get right with God.

 

http://www.ajc.com/news/nation-world/radio-host-says-rapture-955120.html

Manthong's picture

The jokes going to be on that old fart because the Elenin comet will have wiped us out a week before then.

DosZap's picture

OT, but there is a new Rapture date from Harold Camping. You sinners have until Oct. 21, 2011 to get right with God.

 

Poor Harold, at 89yrs old , one would think he had read the scriptures.

Drag Racer's picture

I had to check the calendar real quick to make sure it was not April 1st, what a joke.

DK Delta's picture

Off topic, but who remembers that scene from Saving Private Ryan where the German soldier stabs the American soldier while telling him to "shhhhhh..." ?

Remind you of anything?

http://coveringdelta.wordpress.com/2011/05/24/give-up-you-dont-have-a-ch...

Spastica Rex's picture

Let's have a war
So you can go and die!
Let's have a war! 
We could all use the money!
Let's have a war!
We need the space!
Let's have a war!
Clean out this place! 

Stuck on Zero's picture

Like all the Wall Street sharks Goldman is telling you what to buy so that you can take that junk off their hands before it implodes.  Do any of these reports ever pan out?  I visited the GS site recently to look at their success rate.  The result: If you want to make money do the opposite of what their analysts publish.

oogs66's picture

but they usually have 2 analysts going in the opposite direction, so whichever one turns out right, they parade around to all their best clients and earn even more money

Caviar Emptor's picture

Goldman, Like Emperor Caracalla to the Gladiators at the Coliseum: 

"I give you thumbs up!" 

"I give you thumbs down!" 

 

And the crowd goes wild.....

As my moniker suggests, I appreciate Roman glory that still lives 

A_MacLaren's picture

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Lemmings, the land of milk and honey is just over the next rise. 

And if you see a cliff, pay no attention, its an optical illusion.

nathan1234's picture

If you believe Goldman Sachs you can believe in the Tooth Fairy. Goldman should have been wound up a long time ago and its head and partners behind bars for a life time ( and thats being kind to them).

Phillips Capital's picture

Why do you even post drivel from the Seducer? 

Phillips Capital's picture

every goldman release says one thing and one thing only: "Hey, we took some positions 10 nanoseconds before you, ...please go ahead and submit those orders. we would like some profits. also commissions."  

Tunga's picture

Freezing Carlyle gives the Chinese enough wiggle room to get a port in Pakistan which can take up the slack they lost with the "bin Ladin raid". 

 What secrets will the Emerald Isle reveal to it's long lost son? Unless he knows the meaning of the term "Stack bonding"; not too fucking much. 

 One love to free them all. <3

JW n FL's picture

Carlyle is not a name you should use in public..

StychoKiller's picture

Send him/her to Coventry...

Tunga's picture

Is that where they keep the carbonite copy of Neil Bush?

williambanzai7's picture

Isn't Goldman Tokyo the place where a huge internal argument broke out when all the expats wanted to leave Dodge city two Fukushiman months ago?

DK Delta's picture

Yup, and execs from up above said "though shall die for the ideology"

NewThor's picture

Tyler,

Can you please do a thread on what a horrible, lieing piece of shit of a movie

'Too Big to Fail' on HBO is? OMG. They out right mother fucking lie again and again.

It's a sympathetic portrait of Bernanke, Geithner and Paulson as fucking

superheroes who really want to save America.

They even go as far as to say there IS no conflict of interest with

Paulson and Goldman Sachs, they even say "He sold all his stock in Goldman"

which was not true, he had his 444,000 shares in a blind trust.

MOTHER FUCK YOU HBO AND TIME WARNER FUCKERS

 

 

NewThor's picture

Elenin can't get here fast enough.

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

parsons still pulling the strings over there i see, no surprise there

Cdad's picture

The criminal syndicate known as Wall Street, and its lackeys in the press, sure are having a hard time maintaining a coherent thesis for buying this ridiculous market.  Earlier this evening, I was treated to some "brilliant" technical analysis of the S&P chart by none other than Carter Worth of Oppenheimer.

During this analysis, he ticked off three technical failures on the chart [failure to make a new high, failure of the short term trend, and failure of the medium term trend line], and then noted the importance of the 1313 level.  Now one might think that if the S&P violated yet another technical point on the chart, the fall would be dramatic.  Nope...says the wunderkind of Oppenheimer.  In his words, "If the market falls a bit more, it will just increase the size of the bounce back rally."  Huh?

Now that is some sound thinking there.  I'm sure Carter is worth is six figure bonus.

Additionally, Steve Liesman simply cannot make even a single cogent  point anymore as the fundamentals of purchasing and manufacturing utterly fall apart, and leading indicators roll over.  Tonight on Kudlow, Brian Wesbury, chief economist at First Trust, was literally incomprehensible.

And now Goldman throws its "insight" onto the bonfire of the Ponzi rally.

We must be very near the end now as economists scratch their heads in wonder that the $5 trillion that DC threw away trying to "save the economy" has already lost its effectiveness.

And to think...another half percent up on the Dixie...and the wheels would almost certainly fly off this rickety wagon.

This is the wasteland that Ben Bernanke, M. Shapiro, J. Dimon, L. Blanfein, J. Paulson, etc...have made for us.  Isn't it great to be an investor here in these modern times?

Commence the revolution of the closed wallet.  Quit spending money on fashion and burritos, quit buying stocks, quit buying iPhones...and watch the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street atrophy.  

JW n FL's picture

Guns, Ammo.. Ammo (yes I said it twice on purpose), Gold / Silver.. Food, Medicine.. and some land with a water source that you control. Solar / Wind Power for that Land.. sit back and enjoy the show! do some reading so that when the time comes you can be extra useful to re-build this once Great Country!

Antipodeus's picture

I'm sure the people who work in the factories which make the pilotless drones and their  missiles will be looked after, so I hope your property has a nice deep CAVE.  And don't forget a good short-wave radio with a plentiful supply of expendable remote transceiver aerials,  And ...

"SkypeNet became operational on ..."  ;=((

 

 

steve.stuart's picture

just do the opposite of what Goldman says ... but wait for the china stocks to fall first another 15% even though they are trading only at PE of 3 - 6 anyway now .....

slvrizgold's picture

I second that, MOTHERFUCK HBO, Time Warner, Viacom, Disney, Gannett, all the FUCKING LIARS that make up our "media."   They only know lies, spin, misdirection, deceit.   ALL of their marching orders come from the Zionist NWO Central Banksters on high...   Not only do they want to steal all your savings and investments, they want to kill your sons in their wars, kill you with their toxic food and pharmaceuticals, steal your rights and destroy the land you grew up in.   These bastards want your children injected with mercury when they are smallest and most vulnerable.  They want to supress and keep hidden all the energy and medical breakthroughs so they can make money off your sickness and pollution.   THERE ALREADY ARE CURES FOR CANCER.   They have known that concentrated cannabinoids KILL CANCER for a long time.   Yeah, that plant they imprison 1 million people a year for.   Oh yeah, it would make a better fuel than oil or corn ethanol too.  Among many other things.

bankonzhongguo's picture

Fuck Goldman Sachs and every wannabe fake "banker" that yearns to join the lying Borg hive of disinformation and indebtedness.

When things get really bad there will be no quarter for you and the natives on your island hideaways are going to eat you.

JW n FL's picture

Buy China..

Short Oil and Japan!

Make Money! Buy Gold and Silver!

PulauHantu29's picture

Buy oil, gold and silver....

Be Happy!

Piranhanoia's picture

The credibility was gone long ago. To say Japan will recover from several nuclear disasters by using the provincial name rather than the popular one indicates they know of more they know of more than the Fukushima 4.  What kind of human shit would go long on disaster that will kill most of the country?  How many besides the Sendai/Fukushima complex scrammed?  Just how many scrammed reactors are there beyond the ones we know about because we have pictures of explosions?

The region is now dead, soon the island, the nation, the other neighbours, the sky, the sea and every last one of us.  Time to cold shutdown every damn one of them. This is the last age of humanity folks.  There is no future in fission.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

"Since the disaster has exposed the danger of concentration risk, firms previously reluctant to shift production offshore are now likely to accelerate such plans."

really? 

timing is everything.  even harold camping is revising his forecasts, this week.  even THE END may take longer than forecast.

look at this map:  Japan Wind Map

where would you like to live and work today?  green shoots, eh?  let's get ann coulter on this!  the ww.enonom is facing strong headwinds almost everywhere, it seems.  very hard to find too much good news around, anywhere.  if you're gonna pull a rabbit outa the hat, why not just go full bullwinkle and go with japan?  it's down a dime. 

BTFD!

TumblingDice's picture

WTF just happenned with treasury futures? Is that a think or swim data feed error, switch to the sept contract or just a ridiculous gap down?

ivana's picture

tink that GS should start up sister company GS1 and than they can upgrade eachother to infinity

Zer0henge's picture

Pakistan Turns to ChiCom For Military Protection:

China Warns US, “Any Future Attacks on Pakistan Will Be Construed as an Attack on China”…

Remind me again, how many billions are we going to send to Pakistan this year?

(PTI) — In the wake of the US raid in Abbottabad that killed Osama bin Laden, China has “warned in unequivocal terms that any attack on Pakistan would be construed as an attack on China”, a media report claimed today. The warning was formally conveyed by the Chinese foreign minister at last week’s China-US strategic dialogue and economic talks in Washington, The News daily quoted diplomatic sources as saying. China also advised the USa to “respect Pakistan’s sovereignty and solidarity”, the report said. Chinese Premier Mr Wen Jiabao informed his Pakistani counterpart Mr Yousuf Raza Gilani about the matters taken up with the US during their formal talks at the Great Hall of the People yesterday. The report said China “warned in unequivocal terms that any attack on Pakistan would be construed as an attack on China”. The two premiers held a 45-minute one-on-one meeting before beginning talks with their delegations. The Chinese leadership was “extremely forthcoming in assuring its unprecedented support to Pakistan for its national cause and security” and discussed all subjects of mutual interest with Mr Gilani, the report said. Mr Gilani described Pakistan-China relations and friendship as “unique”.

http://weaselzippers.us/2011/05/23/pakistan-turns-to-chicom-for-military...

Antipodeus's picture

Oh, I don't know ... the U.S. has been telling the same thing to the PROC for years concerning Taiwan.  Fair's fair.

 

Yen Cross's picture

 Non -Sequiturs/ Don't those Guys test expensive RED sports cars? Berlosconi style.

The Heart's picture

Watch this!

Raw Video: Obama's Limo Gets Stuck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5icV_mctrkE

I bet that scared the doo-doo out of the usurper!