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The Goldman Sachs Christmas Party Menu Selection In Full

Tyler Durden's picture




 
Goldman Sachs Holiday Fete - 2009 at the Palais Versailles


APERITIFS & HORS D'OEUVRES


Finest Golden Chartreuse Elixir
DOM Benedictine
Selection of Trappist 'Biere Belgique'
Chateauneuf du Papes - Balthazars of Domaine du Pegau 2000
Minted-Green Dacquiris Flowing From a Kozlowski-Inspired Ice Sculpture Fountain.
(Holy Water or non-alcoholic beverages available on request)
With Canapes of 'Pigs-in-a-Blanket', 'Devilled-Eggs', Blood Sausage; Godiveau Lyonnais;

* * * * * * *


FIRST COURSE


Shark-Fin Soup
or
Fish & Loaves (fish is sustainably caught from the banks of Iceland)
or
"Salade Romanov" of Lobster & Black Truffles Sprinkled With Gold Foil

* * * * * * *


MAIN COURSES

(Served Smorgasbord or "All You Can Eat-Style", to satiate the most unsatiable of appetites)


Roasted Market Goose Entier with "Couilles Brasse" With Scalped Pototoes
Chateaubriand of Milk-FED Beef avec une Sauce Banquiere
Braised Roebucks in a Creme-de-la-Creme Sauce
Banquette-Holding a 'Surf And Turf' with a bonus of sauce fine-blanc
Traditional Stuffed Turkey in a "Sangfroid" sauce
Freshly-Slaughtered Cutest Spring Lamb (Roasted on a Spit) in a Minted Sauce
"Stuffed Sucking Pig Five-Ways" (Chef's Surprise)

* * * * * * *


DESSERT


Cherry-Picked-Bonus Jubilee
Sponge Cake with a Luxurious Creme Anglaise
Grand-Sized Profiterole Balls with a Rich Chocolate Sauce
Gaffes with a Blanc-Fine Syrup

* * * * *


PETITS-FOURS


American Sponge-Drops
Bittersweet Karma Cookies

 

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Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:47 | 150816 AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

I assume it will be French Service

edit: just realized it will be a buffet (aka pig trough), perhaps the French Service will be available later in the evening

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:14 | 151118 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

If this isn't a joke, then they have some big, big balls if this is indeed the menu.

I figured it was a joke.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:44 | 150821 dot_bust
dot_bust's picture

No Big Macs? And you call that a party? :)

"How can you have a successful business without malt liquor?"

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:46 | 150937 SV
SV's picture

A disciple of the Billy Dee Williams Skool of Business I see...

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:51 | 150827 Bob
Bob's picture

"Bittersweet Karma Cookies"

Would that the Karma were sudden and real . . .

Great menu!

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:50 | 150835 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Please do not forget Baby Octopus and Squid with Baby Bok Choy in a red pepper sauce appetizer


Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:07 | 150974 loki
loki's picture

I dunno,  vampire-squid and bank-choy in red line sauce always burns my ass on the way out...

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:14 | 151120 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

Squid-ink pasta - oh, this is France.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:51 | 150840 AnonymousMonetarist
AnonymousMonetarist's picture

Don't forget the amuse bouse ...

 

A single satiny pillow of ravioli plumped full of shredded 100 dollar bills that depreciate in your mouth sautéed in the blood of the common man.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:54 | 150924 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

Yes, it sure will be amuse-bouche with the all the Grand-Sized Profitable Balls - er, Profiterole Balls, walking around.

I'll just take the Devilled-Eggs and wash it down with Holy freaking water. Nothing like a douche after time spent with the Devil.

Okay, someone must have bet Blankfein a Maybach to say he was doing God's work - they've got freaking Fish & Loaves!

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 20:28 | 151672 loki
loki's picture

Amuse bouche?   Or did you mean Abuse Muse also known as our beloved greenback?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:55 | 150848 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Are they renting Versailles or did they already buy it?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:06 | 150876 falsepositive
falsepositive's picture

They rent with an option to buy...  I'm sure the parade down the Rue de Rivoli will be spectacular.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:56 | 150849 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture

I love how they believe in 'sustainably caught' fish. Where I live, more and more people are fishing in the dirty ditch banks so they don't go to bed hungry.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 12:57 | 150856 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

What time should I arrive?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:10 | 150877 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

They forgot Soylent Green

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:56 | 150945 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

Less subtle when you arrive. More like V. Once it's time for the Main Course it's help yourself:

(Served Smorgasbord or "All You Can Eat-Style", to satiate the most unsatiable of appetites)...

"Stuffed Sucking Pig Five-Ways" (Chef's Surprise)

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:59 | 150960 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

I bet they run out of blood sausage.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:07 | 150878 curbyourrisk
curbyourrisk's picture

All this with a happy ending massage downstairs.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:13 | 150889 Chuck
Chuck's picture

Just released - Ben Bernanke will be attending as a guest of honor and will be wearing the following attire at the event:

http://despair.com/toobigtofail.html

 

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:21 | 150905 Slewburger
Slewburger's picture

Gimme six Shiltz'....

Ok... whatevers free.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:33 | 150913 Prophet of Wise
Prophet of Wise's picture

...and for her those with the most discriminating of tastes if her ladies and his gentlemens please they may select from the choicest of hearts from the many victims of thy years feast at the table of thy bounty...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2318794562988157677#

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:35 | 150915 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

mmmm, I wish god loved me...

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:37 | 150920 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Shark Fins - Lovely.

Catch a live shark, slice off the dorsal fin, and throw the the shark back in to suffer and die.

Good choice Goldman. Better hope it doesnt leak to the larger press. Maybe the choice is a not too subtle "in your face" message to the rest of us.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:37 | 150923 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

you have way too much time on your hands. go find a better hobby

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:15 | 151000 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

See everyone? GS does read ZH!

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:55 | 151074 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

This is a joke.

Kozlowski-Inspired Ice Sculpture Fountain

Someone just wants to see if we're paying attention:

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/failure/dennis.jpg

...

avec une Sauce Banquiere

Prepared by bankers, for bankers, or from banksterz?

"Sangfroid"

This is pretty brilliant.


Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:13 | 151114 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

Tyco paid $1 million (half the 2 million bill) for the 40th birthday party of Kozlowski's second wife, Karen M. Kozlowski. The extravagant party, held on the Italian island of Sardinia, featured an ice sculpture of the Statue of David urinating Stolichnaya vodka. This birthday bash was disguised as a shareholder meeting in order to get corporate funding.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Kozlowski

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:39 | 151196 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Lloyd said that the Kozlowski party with the Ice Sculpture was a $2 million ticky tacky event.

http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/popups/kozlowski/frameset1.exclude.html

 

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:39 | 150925 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I just put food on the CC last week for the first time ever, think if I stood outside I might get a dogie bag for my troubles?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:40 | 150927 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Who cares? What do you think guys like dr doom and such eat? Taco bell?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:01 | 150962 GoldSilverDoc
GoldSilverDoc's picture

Who cares?  It's your money.  I would.

 

They are thieves, pure and simple, aided and abetted by the evil and the stupid.

 

 

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:04 | 150929 Racer
Racer's picture

No vegetarian or vegan options? but of course this is the Super blood sucking Carnivorous Squid they are catering for...

surprised they don't have a feast of black puddings listed!!

Here is the recipe for you GS.. I know you will love it

1lt (1¾ pints) Blood (Pig, Lamb or Goose)
340g (12oz) Shredded Suet
300ml (½ pint) Milk
50g (2oz) Oatmeal
3 Medium Onions, chopped
1 tbsp Salt
½ tsp Mixed Herbs
½ tsp Cayenne Pepper
Pinch Nutmeg

Pre-heat oven to 160°C: 300°F: Gas 2.
Mix all of the ingredients together thoroughly, making sure that the seasonings are evenly distributed.
Next fill the large sausage cases
Place into an ovenproof dish with a cover, standing in a larger dish half filled with water.
Bake for 1½ hours.
Allow to cool.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:47 | 150940 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Time, Date, and Location Please.

I think there are about 300+ million Americans who would love to come to a shindig like this.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:49 | 150942 saladbarbeef
saladbarbeef's picture

I see there's no option for Chinese either.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 13:58 | 150958 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

After dinner Lloyd Blankfein will bite the head off a live chicken and perform human sacrifice on ten randomly selected plebs yanked off the nearest subway car.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:16 | 151125 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

And then sing "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Crazy Train".

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:04 | 150968 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

The evening will begin with a toast a la bete noire, Henri.

Quoi? No fois gras ou steak tartar?

Alors, tres bien fait.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:04 | 150969 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"American Sponge-Drops"

says it all

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:09 | 150986 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I could barely make it out...but, there at the bottom it says "Please do not tip the wait staff!"

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:10 | 150987 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

Thanks for the laugh, I need this today! Who are the party crashers?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:15 | 150999 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

I've got a flight to Bilbao. We're bringing the special sauce, Euskadi style.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:11 | 150992 Dburn
Dburn's picture

Sharkfin soup. A chinese delicacy that seem to always taste like shit to me. But it is appropriate for GS to have it on the menu. Oh, and it is wildly expensive.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:16 | 151001 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

They deserve it!

Don't they?

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:19 | 151007 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

Here's a clip from last year's gala event. Oh the fun we had!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=BlK62rjQWLk

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 14:36 | 151042 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I'll pass on the Couilles Brasse. I've already got the biggest pair you've ever seen right here.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:19 | 151136 WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

It took me a moment!

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 15:15 | 151122 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Just their menu suggests why these stooges have to pack.

They obviously can't take a punch.

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 16:19 | 151276 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Ah, a feast for the Gods! (Since they are doing god's work after all)

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