Goodbye Teenage Wasteland: Bank Of America Pulls A Benjamin Button, Reenters Single Digits

Tyler Durden's picture

It was fun while it lasted. Next up: 1 to 10 reverse split? At least that way the bank will now only hit but triple John Paulson's $30 price target by the end of 2011. In the meantime, only $50 cents or so to go until BAC hits Paulson's cost basis.

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Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Speed Downhill Racer


WilliamShatner's picture

Bob is awesome, and so are your tits.


My January $10 puts are making me smile, and so are your tits.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The secret to making something appear more valuable than its intrinsic value is to hide it from public view and then restrict access.

(Sergio, inventor of the modern bra)


hedgeless_horseman's picture

My January $10 puts are making me smile, and so are your tits.

"My $10 puts me smile your tits?"


Blano's picture

Few things in life are more valuable than a pair of live boobies staring you in the face.  Usually the fun's just begun.  Just sayin'.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Personally I wouldn't want them staring me in the face because that would mean she's a good foot taller than me, making here easily 7'4".

Other than that I totally agree with you. :)

chunga's picture

It's all part of being a mammal...

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I find it hilarious how we insist that we are all civilized humans.........right up until the point where we want to rut in the mud like mammals.

fuu's picture

Like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Pladizow's picture

To: WilliamShatner

Sorry there aren't three of them and green!

Manthong's picture

Well, these aren't green, but they are from Mars...

Maybe we'll get some from Fukushima.

WilliamShatner's picture

That's ok, I'll do anything with tits and a vag.

I'm not a picky man.

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

CD, are you trying to make RoboTrader jealous?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'm afraid it all comes naturally. I just don't try to hide the fact that I'm an idiot. :)

JW n FL's picture

but you are such a LOVEABLE idiot! such a high caliber idiot.. and idiot we all could strive to be more like! for the betterment of each other!

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We Americans always fall in love with our idiots. It helps kill the pain of our crushing mediocrity and abject stupidity.

What doesn't kill us just makes us even more insane.

Josh Randall's picture

+5000 laughs - FORMS for free rent vouchers cause people to step over their own mothers to get one - although they would have to wait 2 years in some cases to receive anything, and agai it was just a form to apply:

Ahmeexnal's picture

The same behaviour will be observed VERY SOON when vouchers to apply for a free bag of chips and a can of soda are distributed amongst the desperate sheeple.

r101958's picture

Yes, and this stands in stark contrast to the way people were in the 30's. Or, for another comparison, Japan this spring.

trav7777's picture

idiot.  Take a look at the vouchers stampedes.

Then take a look at the people in the 30s.

Notice any GLARING differences?  Like that jump right out at you?

trav7777's picture

blacks again?  Bcuz that's who it was in Atlanta for the same vouchers

bill1102inf's picture

millions of people who should never have been born in america.

duo's picture

exactly.  It was fine when they stayed on the reservation, but now the 3rd generation (maybe the 4th if you're a great-grandmother at 40) of the Great Society will be distributed amongst society by court order.

sun tzu's picture

Tha'ts what happened in my old neighborhood when a Carter appointed federal judge ruled that the city had to build section 8 housing in all the decent neighborhoods. It went from thriving to a ghetto hellhole full of drug dealers and prostitutes. Yep, getting them out of the ghetto really changed their attitudes

Ahmeexnal's picture

Unless you are a proud member of the Cherokee, Cree, Apache, Hopi, Mohican, Blackfoot, Cheyenne, Chinook, Crow, Navajo, Seminole or any other free sovereign American Indian Nation, that would include you.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

Who built these?

The Irish, obviously.


Problem Is's picture

Is that a penis? Or are the ancients flipping us off for time immemorial??

They must have had inadequate Wanker Timmays and Weiners even back then...

TaxSlave's picture

That's not a phallus.  It was placed there by aborigines in the coprophiliac era.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Looks to be about the same size dick as the Fed is using on us right about now.

rosiescenario's picture

....proof again that aliens visited earth and left us with some of their scientific advances....unfortunately their stone dildos were not sized correctly.

PierreLegrand's picture

There is significant evidence that Europeans were here before the indians...

PierreLegrand's picture

Nah I was more thinking of this one...

One possibility is the ancient Greek Mycenaeans who buried their nobles in beehive tombs called tholoi, large circular burial chambers with a high vaulted roof. This is a possible influence, especially since the pre–classical Greeks were contemporary with the Phoenicians who may have lived at America's Stonehenge, a location we will examine later. As for the beehive chambers of New England, like nowhere else in the world, they closely resemble smaller structures found around the islands of northern Europe. The New England chambers are dead ringers for those built by the Culdee Monks of Scotland, England, and Ireland who adopted the building style from their Celtic ancestry.

Dreadker's picture

+1 from my wife - she's full blood Chickasaw - Spartans of the south ;-)

WonderDawg's picture

Where'd you meet her? I'm looking for a squaw myself. She have any sisters? Pics?

Dreadker's picture

I met her serving in the military - she calls me her souvenir from the UK lol

She has a sister but she wouldn't be interested... she's a lesbian ;-)



I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Is her name "Dances With Beavers?"

WonderDawg's picture

Dang, just my luck. The good ones are always lesbians haha.

Blano's picture

The US won, they lost.  Deal with it.

upWising's picture

Decorum, please:

Feces, meet whirling blades.

Excrement, meet climate control.