Goodnight Amazon: World's Most Overhyped Retailer Misses Top Line

Tyler Durden's picture

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LongSoupLine's picture

Down periscope, prepare for dive.

whatsinaname's picture

Where is the bald guy who runs this warehouse ?

Did I just see him duck to go and get a cold one ?

Ray1968's picture

Gold is down 7% YTD. Amazon down 10.5% in 30 seconds.

Which would you rather own??

SheepDog-One's picture

I decide what I want to own by looking at what escaping dictators pile on their plane...and its not Wall St paper or SPY futures.

Dr. No's picture

Gold is not just for dictators!  It is also for wanna be/future world dominators like myself.

Rahm's picture

In a completely unrelated note, Interpol has just released a red notice for Dr. No. 

william the bastard's picture

Wouldn't model my behavior on dictators that need to escape their homeland.

SheepDog-One's picture

Oh you wouldnt? Well keep buying the fuckin dip on bullshit Wall St paper then!

ColonelCooper's picture

Holy Shit Batman!!  You are one of my favorite dudes on this whole site, so you have to listen to me:

If your job isn't one of those that requires peeing in a cup every so often, you need to find a giant fatty and some Zac Brown or Gordon Lightfoot or the like....

If it is, you need three (no less) double shots of Maker's Mark, followed by a consistant oral drip of whatever the Hell is your favorite....

Shit is really starting to get real.  Toss em back while you can...

ColonelCooper's picture

You are absolutely right William!  Most dictators got where they are because they have lower than average intelligence.

Oh.. Were you talking Moral Authority and a conscience thing???  Hope you got some stout effing walls and a ton of money (gold or silver) to pay your Blackwater types.  No?  Maybe you should Google "cuckold".

william the bastard's picture

""Maybe you should Google "cuckold".""

Why? They show your face there?

Fazzie's picture

 Hey thats a great idea for a new indicator.

 The DDI (deposed dictator index)!

 Its breaking out for sure!

Michael's picture

Priceless! And fore everything else, there's Mastercard.

whatz that smell's picture

this very moment the forces of evil are conferenced and plotting the next leg up. buy the hot-chick-from-ipanema dip, bitchez!

tmosley's picture

I wonder if Harry or Robo got out?

I'm sure they will tell us they did, from the public terminals in their respective welfare offices.

SheepDog-One's picture

Oh surely we'll hear tomorrow about how luckilly their super intelligent brains told them to sell before the drop. Rear view mirror trading those guys do is the best!

Fazzie's picture

 Cramer will go to his default "bad call after furious pumping" defense, IE, the market got it wrong, he was and is still right. The market only gets it right when running momo stocks to ridiculous PEs during depressions, it seems.

DonnieD's picture

They sold at the peak and then went short. Obviously.

outamyeffinway's picture

Life without Amazon, would be terrible!

whatsinaname's picture

Will the bearded bald guy help out the clean shaven bald guy ?

Are they at the warehouse hatching out a rescue plan ?

TruthInSunshine's picture

They couldn't even make NET SALES on low expectations in a direct, mainlined Ben Bernank HOPIUM infused world?


SheepDog-One's picture

Whats next, mega steroid infused MLB players striking out at T-Ball??
WTF! And I dont mean Barrys new slogan initials.

william the bastard's picture

AMZN up 315% since nov 2008. Gold up 71%

JP McManus's picture

Were you buying AMZN in Nov 08?  Because I was buying gold.

william the bastard's picture

Neither. Bought Dana Corp (DAN) and Amer Axle (AXL) then.

ElvisDog's picture

Yeah, that's funny. The very definition of cherry-picking data points. I've got better things to do, but I'm pretty sure I can pick another date that shows gold far outperforming AMZ.

Clockwork Orange's picture

This is bad.  At least the Bald Bearded guy is still behind the curtain - the P/E will surely only get whacked from 75 to 68 or so ... phew.

whatsinaname's picture

Who is the bald guy who runs this warehouse ? Did he lose some more of his hair ?

Phineas Gage's picture

Accurate way of looking at it.

The Axe's picture

This is a shock, that is a bad number, on a over-hype stock...Is all the heloc money used up, ???

NOTW777's picture

so that was christmas. dont worry cnbc set to ask bill c how he landed monica

TruthInSunshine's picture

Too much snow & cold weather made shopping on Amazon difficult.

besodemuerte's picture

People buy their iProducts from rather than, shame.  Oh well, we still have NFLX and APPL to keep us company in the upper atmosphere.

unwashedmass's picture


well, what a surprise! i mean, just cause the peasantry has no money left....what's wrong with these guys -- don't they know about the changes in FASB....they should have just bought a few crates of MBS (they could have gotten those ones the banks are trying to burn in Delaware for pennies)....

and say they have assets worth two or three billion. whatever they needed to generate the blowout...

what's wrong with Jeff? Doesn't he read the papers?

HarryWanger's picture

AAPL is very cheap here relatively speaking. Whenever I hear people mention AAPL in the same breath as NFLZ or AMZN, I have to laugh. If it weren't for the Jobs uncertainty, AAPL would be knocking on 400/share right now. Even MSFT said the iPad is eating into their sales. 

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

OMG Harry you bring out the worst in me.  I wrote you into a kids show.  You were trying to get investors into a van with some candy apples, and then I though, 'Oh yeah, HarryfuckinWanger is a made up character by some dude with too much time on his hands.

Hedgetard55's picture

AAPL is done, Harry. Stick a fork in it. Better take profits while you can. I see a flash crash in it's very near future.

ColonelCooper's picture

When I buy shit from Apple, it is 100% frivolous.  When I buy shit from Amazon it generally is :

- Books

- Canned goods in flats like Tuna or Peanut Butter, most any dry goods/canned groceries/occasional grain buckets/oil/etc....


I live in a very rural area, one where it takes two and a half hours one way to get to a big box store. Amazon has always been: fair, lightening quick shipping, larger selection, good volume pricing etc.  

I would really hate to see them go down the shitter. 

pods's picture

I would hate to see them go down as well.  Royal Purple oil in a 5 gallon pail for $118 with free shipping, you can't beat that with a stick.


tmosley's picture

You are now HarareWanger.

You can buy some AAPL at $500000

Plainview's picture

I like the way you polish up Jobs as much as possible.

It's not an "uncertainty" - it's that he's probably going to die and the company is a turd without him. If you think some Joe Schmoe could stand on the stage, flip out an iPad and that people will trust him enough to splurge $500 on it you're crazy and you're underestimating the brand of Jobs which is actually, bizarrely, superior to that of Apple. People inherently trust him and buy his enthusiasm and evangelistic urging as legitimate. That is not a feat easily repeated. When he's gone they will revert to type and bring products to market that should never have made it that far. 

erik's picture

Let me be the first to say that my hometown companies have really done their jobs so far this earnings season:

F5 Networks




All down...

TruthInSunshine's picture

Don't forget about Boeing's new Spruce Goose.

erik's picture

Unfortunately, we can't claim Boeing anymore since they moved the headquarters to Chicago.  However, we can add Starbucks to the list.  We'll just have to see if Costco can break the Seattle negativity. 

TruthInSunshine's picture

This is why Kurt Cobain committed suicide.