Government Motors' Crowning Achievement: Falling Steering Wheels

Tyler Durden's picture

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Mr. Denny Kneel's picture

Steering wheels bitchez

Obummer's picture

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow Americans, good people of the world.  Much talk has been made of the success of the financial assistance offered to General Motors by the United States government.  My administration, on the advice of our friends both in business and in labor, provided the financial backing required to pull GM back from the brink of destruction.  This effort was a huge success.  At a time of major economic uncertainty we were able to address GM's deficiencies and sell our financial interest back to the market, reaping large rewards for the American tax payer.  Now, however, we hear rumors that not all is well with GM, that perhaps there are quality issues, and that perhaps there is too much inventory.

These rumors are baseless and a clear threat to our standards of democracy, human values, and American ingenuity.  For behind these rumors are the very terrorists we have been fighting against for so long.  And now these terrorist organizations have infiltrated the very heart of America, and are in our living rooms, our bedrooms, and our workplaces even as I speak.  Rest assured that I will do everything in my power as President of this great nation to repel this threat to our ways, and that in the coming months we shall take decisive action against this new menace to our financial stability and our Constitution.  Thank you, good night, and God bless America.

the mad hatter's picture

Here is video of said car with detachable steering wheel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2_b4V6C4aM

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

In Soviet Amerika, you don't steer wheel... wheel steers YOU!

IQ 145's picture

 Ouch. "Chuck Norris could steer with his teeth, easily".  So, they actually sold 2100 of these, ehh. That's interesting.

OldPhart's picture

Introducing..."THE OBAMAMOBILE™®"

Look for the Union Lable.

aerojet's picture

If GM was innovative, their cars would have a joystick instead of power steering.  That way, you capture the video game generation and kill them off when the electricity fails.

whatsinaname's picture

Does the wheel get quantitatively eased from your hands ?

truont's picture

Because in Soviet Amerika, working steering wheel is an accessory.

Yeah, an accessory to murder...

King_of_simpletons's picture

A subtle plot to get rid of those going for the Cruze and not the Volt. Ya see ... Cruze is a repackaged Volt just not with those hybrid crap in it.

ebworthen's picture

Phil Lebeau - now there's a corporate MSM lackey if ever there was one. 

Phil seems to have a juvenile crush on GM, or an Oedipus complex (?).  Either way, I get creeped out whenever he is on screen talking about GM.  

GM - The Yugo of Amerika

Gordon Freeman's picture

Phil, besides being a tool on CNBS, is the official MSM shill for the UAW, doncha kow?

Annd where is Ray LaHood (perfect name), bleating about how "I wouldn't want to buy a Toyo..., er, GM car now"?

Let 'em all die...

DoctoRx's picture

Anyone who watches (or listens to as background) CNBC deserves to be LeBeau'ed and worse.

Temporalist's picture

Fact:

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.

rich_wicks's picture

I am looking forward to the day that Chuck Norris dies just so that I don't ever have to hear these stupid stories about him everywhere.  In finance, in medical news groups, in engineering forums, in every damned thing.  Yeah, you're real clever, you can copy another 1/2 million idiots.  Shut up.

baby_BLYTHE's picture

the same thing was said about Billy Mayes...

SheepDog-One's picture

In USSA, gubment motor car steers YOU! Over a cliff!

truont's picture

GM recently issued a statement addressing the issue.

"We have decided not to recall our Cruze vehicles.

The US DOT released a study showing the Cruze is perfectly safe to drive on straight roads, so please limit your travel routes to straight routes only.  Sorry for the inconvenience."

/sarcasm

IQ 145's picture

 Because; a.) gets rid of another mouth to feed, and b.) someone will have to buy another car!

Slow learner's picture

Maybe GM should consider a merger with Yugo.

Almost Solvent's picture

The rear window defroster doubles as a hand warmer when pushing vehicle in cold conditions.

the not so mighty maximiza's picture

I guess the buyer of the UAW crapbox can then hit themselves in the head with the steering wheel as they drive off the road into a fury crash.

Agent P's picture

Maybe it's a wireless bluetooth steering wheel that can also be controlled from your iPad (see recent Buick commercials).

johnQpublic's picture

cruze control bitchez....or lack there of

Oh regional Indian's picture

Haaah! +1, thanks for the laugh.

ORI

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture
INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - MOVING DOWN RUNWAY

Jack is speaking to the BUSINESSWOMAN next to him.

JACK
If X is less than the cost of a
recall, we don't do one.

BUSISNESS WOMAN
Are there a lot of these kinds of
accidents?

JACK
Oh, you wouldn't believe.

BUSINESS WOMAN
... Which... car company do you work
for?

JACK
A major one.
TexDenim's picture

These workers obviously have a radioactivity deficiency. Drink some Japanese mineral water, or get an X-ray!

AG BCN's picture

reduced development schedules, reduced testing, low cost manufacturing locations. Pressure on management not to delay a launch, and on and on.

Miss Expectations's picture

That would explain how the wrong component (steering wheel) not only ended up on the assembly line floor, but got 'kind of' installed, got through QC and got shipped.  Is it surprising that the steering wheel line worker didn't notice he had the wrong part? 

tellsometruth's picture

I worked first at a Toyota dealership then a chevy/hummer dealership then went back to a Toyota dealership because of I did not feel great about selling the GM product, plus in the educated market of Bellevue Wa rarely did we sell anything (except when there was 0% 60 plus months, their cars blow, on some large loaded SUV)in comparision to the Toyota lot, I have a 4runner and my wife has a scion TC.

ColonelCooper's picture

If Toyota would ever build a full size pickup, I'd be all over it. 

b_thunder's picture

broken steering is actually the newst technical innovation straight from Formula One!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAEZY6JBCGc

 

Global Hunter's picture

I don't even need to click the link, Vitali Petrov at yesterday's Malaysian Grand Prix.

AldousHuxley's picture

Obama saved the auto industry just in case we would need the factories to produce heavy tanks later when we go to war with China.

blunderdog's picture

Where are the TRUE contrarians who're gonna load up on GM now that this is out of the way?

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Much better buying a decent used car than new econo crap box.

I'd still take a Japanese car any day. German cars are cool but cost too much and too much to fix.

FreedomGuy's picture

Try a Mini Cooper. Amazingly engineered little cars. The Japs and Germans both get it right in different ways.

Miss Expectations's picture

Another chance to say:  Honda CRX

Best car chase ever (except the sad ending, because the cops cheated)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXUqZowz6Vc&feature=related

depression's picture

Clearly the work of a Palin operative.

spartan117's picture

Made in the USA!

Maybe we should export these to China?

FreedomGuy's picture

Best laugh of the day for me. It would be revenge for some of the crap they sold us.

GolfHatesMe's picture

you can feel just like a bondholder

Global Hunter's picture

In Soviet America, steering wheel turns you!

AG BCN's picture

GM,  creating near life experiences.

Don Birnam's picture

WB7, a picture speaks a thousand words ( and $30 billion in taxpayer-funded bailout cash ).

TruthInSunshine's picture

That's a thing of beauty, WBZ, even though you milked it.

OldPhart's picture

Now THAT's an airbag I wouldn't mind smacking me in the face.