As Greece Prepares To Auction Off The Acropolis, Austria Is Selling Its Mountains

Tyler Durden's picture

Have €121,000 lying around? Enjoy hiking in smallish central European countries with picturesque villages? Then this deal is for you. While its new European banker overlords are pushing Greece to sell off, pardon, "privatize" the bulk of its most monetizable assets, Austria has already seen the writing on the wall, and in a very proactive step, iss offering to see two mountain peaks in the Austrian Alps. From AP: "Two 2,000-metre (6,500-feet) mountain peaks in eastern Tyrol -- the "Grosse Kinigat" and the "Rosskopf" -- are up for sale for just 121,000 euros ($175,800) for the pair. On its website, Austria's federal real estate company, the Bundesimmobiliengesellschaft or BIG, proudly boasts that the two peaks offer the "most stunning views of the Carnic Alps and are popular destinations for mountain climbers and hikers"." As to why Austria is suddenly scrambling to sell mountains, nobody really knows: ""It's a mystery to me why they're wanting to sell the peaks right now," the mayor of the tiny village of Kartitsch, Josef Ausserlechner, told the Austrian news agency APA. "In Greece, they're selling off islands. In Austria, it's the mountains," he fumed." Lastly, the reason doesn't matter. What is certain is that some Goldman dodecatuple secret shell holding SPV will end up being the buyer. And where Greece and Austria have already ventured, so shall the rest of Europe boldly go very soon as the banking syndicate soon ends up owning literally everything.

From AFP:

Ausserlechner insisted the village of Kartitsch has right of first refusal, but could only afford to pay a symbolic price of "a couple of thousand of euros".

Interested buyers have until July 8 to place their bids and, according to the regional daily Kleine Zeitung, 20 people had already done so.

But whoever the new owners turned out to be, "they won't be allowed to fence them off. The public and hikers have right of way," mayor Ausserlechner insisted.

The only two questions that appear relevant to us: does Austria have an extradition treaty with the US, and how much gold warehousing space is available under said mountains...

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
SloMoe's picture

Actually, the islands in Greece would be mountain peaks, if Greece wasn't so underwater...

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Can we put Washington, D.C. up for sale on eBay? The only stipulation is that the buyer would have to carve it off from the country and take it with him, along with the politicians and lobbyists.

Recommended starting bid: $1.05

(freedom costs a buck oh five...)



tmosley's picture

Do we have to use our own nukes?

dwdollar's picture

Said buyer doesn't need to move it.  Just build a fence with barb wire pointing inward along with guard towers armed with turrets.  Don't forget missile batteries for the career Cogressmen who've managed to steal enough to own private jets.

SilverIsKing's picture

The US Govt should buy it and install a military base or, at a minimum, a few missle silos.

max2205's picture

IL to sell ad space on car tags now, that's how broke hose fuckers are

jeff montanye's picture

when do the police start to wear decals like nascar?

Timmay's picture

Fake debt buys real things. Game Over.

Cdad's picture

<Cdad opens the bidding @ -$200,000 via a triple inverse leverage bet against ALL OTHER PEAKS in Austria>

The Profit Prophet's picture

TPP raises the bid using a new 10 Trillion FRN - freshly printed by Genocide Ben in preparation for buying the world's assets. 

T.E.I.N. everyone

Cdad's picture

Shit!  Okay...

...Cdad ups the ante, buying boatloads of OTM puts on the Acropolis while simultaneously getting long the CHF...laid off against a short UUP position established AH today.

Short ALL OTHER PEAKS in Austria remains.


Popo's picture

Actually, fake debt buys fake things.

Since there is no such thing as "property ownership" anyway (if the government can tax you for it, you're technically renting it from the government) the joke is on anyone who thinks they're buying the property -- even if they're buying it with funny money / debt.

It is completely beyond me why anyone in his right mind would want to own property in a predatory tax-regime.   The second you "own" the property,  you have exposed yourself to potentially infinite tax increases which you will bend over and take-like-a-man, all for the pleasure of "ownership".

To own land, is to voluntarily en-serf oneself to the tax-masters.

Property ownership is in essence, a binding contract with the feudal lords of Federal and State governments.

Cdad's picture


So are you saying that you too are short ALL OTHER PEAKS in Austria?  Certainly, and with that attitude, you would also be short ALL OTHER SOLAR SYSTEMS.

Just trying to probe the market like a good crocodile algorithm.

Popo's picture

I am short all land and real estate in predatory tax regimes. Come on, you know there's no such thing as "owning" property in Austria, the USA or anywhere else that taxes real estate at annually determined, arbitrary rates.

You strike me as someone who thinks they own some real estate somewhere. Please stop paying taxes. The 'real' owners will present themselves shortly.


Cdad's picture

You strike me as someone who thinks they own some real estate somewhere.

Was it the SHORT ALL OTHER PEAKS in Austria, the SHORT THE ACROPOLIS, or the SHORT ALL OTHER SOLAR SYSTEMS that gave me away?

Also, and considering your pronoun usage, how did you figure out that I am a fractal person?

Blue pills..............anyone...............Bueller....Bueller...

jeff montanye's picture

and since at least the invention of agriculture government (or someone) has "taxed" (taken) property (of all sorts real and financial, sometimes the women or even the property owner too) at varying rates from year to year.

Popo's picture

At varying rates. LOL. Well the devil is in the details. You might want to compare say, modern suburban New Jersey with historical norms. We are in no way "normal" right now.

samslaught's picture

Lets say you and I represent the whole world.  I create the currency for this world and give it all to you.  All I have is a loan on my have all the money in the world...$20.  I then proclaim that you must pay me back that $20 plus interest at some point in the future.  You buy lots of stuff, create businesses, and build wonderful products with my currency.  In the end no matter what you do I will end up with all your stuff.  It's simple math.  Even if you were able to reaccumulate all the money in the world and pay it to me ($20) you would still owe me interest....and interest on that interest...compounded over time.  I can create and give you more money but that would just allow for you to build more stuff for a while longer.  In the end the only thing left to pay with is your assets.  Thanks for working so hard for all those years and creating such a beautiful world.  It will all go back to me.  Your only recourse is to recognize that I dooped you with a mathimatically impossible scenario...smash my head in with a rock, and keep all the stuff you worked so hard for.


The trick is that individually we can service debts, even accumulate wealth.  This makes us think that if one can do it all can do it.  All cannot.  It's mathamatically impossible.  Interest = assets.

jp12345's picture

I feel like I've just had a claritin moment.  Suddenly the whole central banking game makes sense in a way it never did before.

XPolemic's picture

Exactly! In fact, I would go further. A general principle of ownership of land is that you don't pay taxes on it. Ergo: If you pay taxes on your land, then you don't own it, period.

Not forgetting that as long as you owe $1 to the bank on your supposed 'mortgage', you don't own the land anyway.

People seem to have forgotten that the word 'mortgage' is French for "until death".

One thing I do concede however, it is a brilliant scam. Probably the best fraud in human history.

falak pema's picture

As a european I can buy a lake in Carinthia of Ostrogoth Jorg Haider ex-Oligarch now deceased in a Le Mans type accident. Having a foot in Greece and one in Austria makes me feel like Jove riding Europa, his prize cow.

ebworthen's picture


It makes me wonder if anyone will really own anything in the not too distant future.


cougar_w's picture

Easy answer.

You personally will not own anything. Nor will any of your friends, nor their friends. Nor will anybody you randomly meet forever own anything.

But there will be about 20 guys who own every single fucking thing ever known in the whole mother fucking solar system since the beginning of holy fucking time including that fucking midget Pluto and the entire mother fucking Oort cloud. 

You can own your name. No fuck that, you can lease your name fucker. And your own fucking face too, don't forget that. You'll pay royalties to 20 guys every time you see your own reflection.

ebworthen's picture

Yes, feels that way, nice F-word rant, thanks, I enjoyed it, agree.

Cdad's picture

<Cdad takes the other side of the trade, mostly out of desperation because he is in the process of getting short the Acropolis while also already short ALL PEAKS IN AUSTRIA...and he's due.   SHORT ALL OTHER SOLAR SYSTEMS>

Margin pressure is mounting....

Popo's picture

Great.  And then we'll raise property taxes on those 20 rich assh*les and let them pay for the entire ponzi charade.

Property ownership = exposure to property taxes.

It's a sucker's game.  Let the 1% have it all.  Then tax the living sh*t out of them.

detersbb's picture

These people actually believe that these natural formations are for sale can be sold can be owned?


This is mental illness.

falak pema's picture

Its called Oligarchic greed and hubris...It sealed the fate of Agamemnon, so there is hope for the hobbits!

Irwin Fletcher's picture

Tell it to the Manhattan Indians.

serotonindumptruck's picture

I'll buy that island for some cheap trinkets, beads, and shiny baubles.

cougar_w's picture

Dude. They have big fucking banks there now. You sure you want the liability?

knukles's picture

It's a Fucking Bubble!

Classic monetarist (and I truly mean old school without any of the political or philosophical overtones and implications) effect.  Too much money will indeed lead to inflation. 
In our present bi-flationary times, something has to give, so this time around, it's useless debt buying national treasures.

The Mother of All Real Estate Bubbles!

Thanks Ben!

By my favorite definition of sanity; "clarity of thought", this is insane behavior.
Through the looking glass, post Orwellian, pure simple madness.

HamyWanger's picture

*shocking revelation*

Homo Sapiens has conquered the Earth and became the ultimate apex predator long ago, whether people like it or not.

There's nothing shocking in offering for sale territories. It's that or stealing (i.e. war). 

So please spare us your ecological loony BS. 

swissinv's picture

I'llbuy it and make a toll for mountain climbers on the top.

HamyWanger's picture

"But whoever the new owners turned out to be, "they won't be allowed to fence them off. The public and hikers have right of way," mayor Ausserlechner insisted."

Then what is the purpose of the deal??? 

A private property that is not private has very limited interest.

falak pema's picture

Its called communal and private and the sound of music is all the more sweet as there are many to benefit from it. Ownership is a spiritual concept like being married, but leaving your wife to chose her know...minstrels...very european. Ham handed people are advised to abstain.

ebworthen's picture

Does this mean your Wife is available?

falak pema's picture

how would I know? the husband is the last to find out. Didn't the english teach you a stiff upper lip and a lecherous down side...Luckily I'm french, so I don't have either but a sweet and vagrant french wife. BTW she doesn't accept food stamps and only swims in Chanel #5.

wisefool's picture

The same purpose as tens of thousands of homes in Detroit, USA availible for $1.

You buy one of these mountains, the hikers have right of way. You abide. They get out there in nature on "your" mountain and become hippies. They go back to urbania/suburbania and hang out in coffehouses and invent a new entitlement like "free, fair ______ for the people!" then they ask who will pay for it, and they say, oh I know! that rich dude who "owns" a mountain in Austria. tax the hell out of him.

This is definition of progressivism, no?


I am not casting a judgement here oligarch vs individual, rich vs. poor. I am just trying to make sure I understand the playbook.

LowProfile's picture

Sounds like good cover for my supervillian base.

Blu hu ha ha haaa

MsCreant's picture

I have a pair of bridges in Mississippi I'd like to sell you...I have the title and everything. If you take out a loan for it from my bankster buddies, Linda will sign off on everything for us...then they will sell it to Sallie and then she will sell it to the Fed and the taxpayer will back it and it will be all good. Win-win.

Bridges and mountains, bitchez.

falak pema's picture

I'd buy a mountain from a bitch and build a bridge to her lair...she wolf or poodle she would be toast and I caviar eater cum caveat emptor. wow, that rhymes...

scatterbrains's picture

I would guess they are saying the public will have right of way so that no one will compete for the property. After the right folks buy it cheap they will change the rule and bar the public from access.

lincolnsteffens's picture

Not true,

People buy condos and only own the inside of their space. On top of that they have to follow rules of conduct and must fork over maintenance fees.

About 20 years ago I was looking for some land to build a home on. I found something of interest and proceeded to speak to the owner about price, etc. He mentioned that all his properties came with "covenants" that I would probably find helpful in maintaining the area's value. Immediately sirens could be heard inside my head warning to take cover. I told him since he was asking such a healthy sum why did he think he should have any say to tell me what to do such as which trees could be cut, how far back the house had to be from the road, the minimum size of the house and how quickly it was built.

I told him I was not interested in property I had to pay for while he got to tell me what to do with it. He had already sold several parcels and I was the first person    to object to his restrictions.   

Moral of the story is that indeed people will buy property that is not private. There is plenty of interest.                                                                                    

swissinv's picture

MBS = monument backed securities