Greek FinMin Presentation On Accelerated Measures To Avoid Bankruptcy

Tyler Durden's picture

Well, it's all Greek to us, but even if we understood it, the informational value of this presentation (net of lies) is zero at best. It does have some pretty charts.

Greek FINMIN Presentation

Here are the Bloomberg bullets accompanying the presentation:

  • GREECE TO ADD EXTRA EU6 BLN IN MEASURES THIS YEAR
  • GREECE TO AIM AT 2011 DEFICIT OF 7.5% THIS YEAR
  • GREECE MEDIUM-TERM MEASURES EQUAL TO EU22 BLN EXCEPTING 2011
  • GREECE AIMS AT EU50 BLN STATE ASSET SALES REVENUE BY 2015
  • GREECE TO SELL OTE, HELLENIC POSTBANK STAKES IMMEDIATELY
  • GREECE TO SELL UP TO 75% OF PIRAEUS, THESSALONIKI PORT CO
  • GREECE TO SELL UP TO 34% OF HELLENIC POSTBANK BY YEAR-END
  • GREECE MAY SELL UP TO 16% OF OTE STAKE IN SECOND QUARTER 2011
  • GREECE SEEKS ADVISERS TO EXERCISE HELLENIC TELECOM PUT OPTION.

And many more hollow promises.

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Hard1's picture

I think it says we are fucked in greek on page 3

firstdivision's picture

Actually it says, " We have found Atlantis and the ideas they orginated. We are owed a bajillion lollars in lisencing fees.  We're saved!!".

Missing_Link's picture

Leave it to the Greeks to find the only country more underwater than themselves.

VegasBD's picture

Haaaaaaaa. Quote of the week! On monday no less!

the mad hatter's picture

One has to wonder how this greek tragedy will end.

jus_lite_reading's picture

NOTHING SAYS WE'RE FUCKED LIKE REACTOR 1 RADIATION! HOLY SHIT!!!

200 SV PER HOUR!!! LOOK!!!!

http://atmc.jp/plant/rad/

AT 10 SV YOU ARE DEAD IMMEDIATELY!!

TYLER!! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NOT ON THIS!?!?!?! HOLY FFFF!

Reggie Middleton's picture

I don't think Greece has been recorded reporting any accuracies on its books in over 3 years. Particularly on this topic, reference this cute graphic:

I went into the topic of the total lack of reality in Greek projections in my EU post for the day:

williambanzai7's picture
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!
Nicholaz's picture

FWIW I don't think Greece has reported any accuracies in its books since they applied for the Euro zone.

lizzy36's picture

So boil it down to it's an "All Greek To Me"  bids wanted list.

And then let us know who the hell is going to bid on this bankrupt crap, because i hear Ashton Kutcher (Mr. Demi Moore) has a social media start up, that is bound to need capital pre ipo.

LRC Fan's picture

The real pressing question, imo, is whether the unevitable Greek default "event" will be an orderly default, or a disorderly one.  See, the selloff in the dollar earlier this year was nice and orderly, nothing to see there, and it has bounced considerably. 

None of this would have happened if they could simply print their way to prosperity a'la the USSA.  Paul Krugman told me so. 

I think they should just start printing Euros, or better yet, King US dollars, and tell everyone to fuck off.  That's what Ben and Turbo Timmeh would do. 

/sarc

Got gold?

edit: lol, someone just said "kick the can" on CNBC. 

tired1's picture

Greece can be the first to issue 1000 Euro notes!

agent default's picture
  • GREECE TO FILE FOR CHAPTER 7

Euro plunges, the dollar rallies for a while, taking commodities and PMs down.

Fuck it just buy the dips in PMs.

speconomist's picture

Pg 40. Look at the three possible scenarios, debt to GDP peaking at around 150% in 2013 (most optimistic one) and then steadily going down below 100%, hehehe.

hedgeless_horseman's picture
  • GREECE WILL ISSUE $20 BILLION IN US DOLLAR SOVEREIGN BONDS BACKED BY PRESIDENT OBAMA.
  • S&P WILL RATE GREEK DOLLAR DEBT AAA.
  • WHY THE HELL NOT?
  • LRC Fan's picture

    Greece should simply issue a currency backed by silver/gold, insured by the full faith and credit of the great JP Morgan.  Problem solved.  Or not.

    agent default's picture

    Yeah well get this shit: Most of their gold is held at UBS in Switzerland and the Bank of England.  And based on the loan treaty the IMF can confiscate anything they want in case Greece defaults. 

    I don't know about their islands, but their gold is as good as gone.  Their new drachma will make the Zimbabwe dollar look like viable reserve currency.

    CPL's picture

    They would have to have money first to procure gold and silver...always that catch 22.  You know, buy stuff before backing it.

    Sudden Debt's picture

    Like Popoloco would say:

    YOU GOT TO SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY BITCHEZ!!! BAIL ME OUT!!

     

     

    Bam_Man's picture

    GREECE TO AIM AT 2011 DEFICIT OF 7.5% THIS YEAR

    It says a lot that AIMING for a deficit of 7.5% of GDP is what passes for fiscal responsibility/austerity these days.

    Peak insanity.  

    agent default's picture

    Like aiming to take an 800yd shot.  With a shotgun

    StychoKiller's picture

    Loaded with wet ammunition...

    bugs_'s picture

    just default.

    Re-Discovery's picture

    Greece is the word . . . is the word . . .is the word . . . .

    Josh Randall's picture

    Greece pays or the antiquites of yore get their collective marble kneecaps shatterred, capishe?

    Missiondweller's picture

    Christ, why don't they just default and reissue the Greek drachma's and get it over with.

     

    I feel like I'm watching a Greek play that should have ended by now. What sense does it make to continue the farce?

    hedgeless_horseman's picture

    What sense does it make to continue the farce?

    There is more money to be made in the destruction of a nation than the creation of one.

    mayhem_korner's picture

    You just cribbed JPM's mission statement.

    Dolemite's picture

    Euro and SnP near strong support

     

    http://deadcatbouncing.blogspot.com/

     

    bobola's picture

    Has the Greek government put the Parthenon up for sale..??

    Would think it could fetch a good price...

    Sudden Debt's picture

    I don't know...

    the roof has leaks...

    plumbing sucks...

    electrical wires are pretty old...

    windows... nop...

    and the view... miles and miles of smog.

    YOU CAN KEEP IT!

     

    slaughterer's picture

     

  • GREECE TO SELL OTE, HELLENIC POSTBANK STAKES IMMEDIATELY
  • GREECE TO SELL UP TO 75% OF PIRAEUS, THESSALONIKI PORT CO
  • GREECE TO SELL UP TO 34% OF HELLENIC POSTBANK BY YEAR-END
  • What if nobody wants these companies?  Can we get some islands thrown in and maybe a few ancient ruins?

    lizzy36's picture

    BTW, Tyler i think we need a poll on when default is going to occur. This foreplay is getting exhausting. Liquidity is running low.

    Main event "boom" time please........

     

    falak pema's picture

    As a woman you don't sound sincere about foreplay...Or else you really now want the fourth of july like a Gi on the return after 'mission mayhem' !

    StychoKiller's picture

    You could while away the day in bed, but months?  Bring on the "happy ending!"

    Cone of Uncertainty's picture

    I think it says that Greece is ready to take it in the ass to save the EU.

    zuuuueri's picture

    havent had time to read through the whole thing yet, but just saw this. short synopsis of the first section (2010-2011) is basically a lot of simple graphs saying 'we made a lot of changes in the past year, massively cut expenditures, increased revenue from 37 to 38% of gdp, exports have risen, competiteveness (some BS statistic, to be sure) has increased, etc'

     

    nothing really earth shaking. the next parts will probably be more amusing, its the 'plan for 2011-2015'.. 

     

    slewie the pi-rat's picture

    slewie translation:  after meeting w/ the banksers, we have decided to sell this shit first, so when it doesn't work, the hoi polloi will think that selling the water companies to G/Sachs is a venus-send.

    oogs66's picture

    Seems like the presentation is just so they can say they tried hard on e they stop paying. Or this is a draft of their pitchbook for their post default debt roadshow

    Jovil's picture

    The buzzards are circling over Greek government assets like buildings, roads, bridges, etc. Look up in the sky! It is a plane! It is a man! It is Superman!! Nooo, it is the banksters!!! and we can already see them circling over us.

    Joebloinvestor's picture

    I expect Greece to default and blame everyone else for it.

    NERVEAGENTVX's picture

    I can hear the credit default swaps locking and loading.

    *click, click*

    bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

    Greece needs to default to allow any new money in.

    New money can't be bothered paying for the profits and losses of failed money. New money needs new rules and needs the ability to keep its profits, as well as build its future.

    Some just can't understand that business are not built to pay for the losses of failed money.

    If new money can't win it will not play.

    Selling off assets will not help create a business. Only keep the bloated government paychecks coming, until the assets run dry.  Businesses will never form and jobs will never be created under the tyranny of a debt repayment that is not there own.

    Servitude is not bullish for business.

    NERVEAGENTVX's picture

    Reggie... that is the funniest thing i've seen in a long time. Can't stop laughing!

    SirIssacNewton's picture

    Potential Solution #1

    Helicopter Bernie opens the discount window to Greece and rolls them into the TBTF group.  Everything will come up roses when Bernie sprinkles it with his magic.

    Potential Solution #2

    The Greek government replaces water with uzo and the population is subligated into wearing rose colored glasses.  The Gangsta Banstas and the IMF come rolling in to repossess the country.

    Potential Solution #3

    The Greek government has a come to Jesus moment and realizes that Zorba was the highlight of their cultural contribution and decides to rename the country and change its address in hopes that its creditors won't be able to find them.

    Real Solution

    Greece sends a letter to the Germany people thanking them for all their tax dollars and declares they are looking forward to their continued financial support for years to come.

    Curtis LeMay's picture

    (Reuters) - Euro zone central banks have been lending money to commercial banks against highly questionable collateral, leaving the central banks potentially exposed to hundreds of billions of euros of bad loans, Germany's Der Spiegel magazine reported.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/23/us-eurozone-ecb-idUSTRE74M41220110523

    = = = = =

    Game, set and match.

    falak pema's picture

    I hope you are not ready to send your B 57s to fire bomb Athens...general Le month of May.

    M.B. Drapier's picture

    Anyone have a link to the /Spiegel/ article itself? I can't seem to find it.