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GRouPoNZi: EXCiTiNG NeWs FoR PoNZi FaNS!
EXCITING NEWS FOR PONZI FANS
I have been looking at the latest social media wunderalot delivered with great anticipation to the Ben's high QE Octane IPO market.
I am speaking of none other than Groupon.
You remember them, they're the ones who spent a small fortune getting themselves lambasted for showing a lack of cultural sensitivity in the thier Super Bowl advertising campaign.
Well last week, they launched their much anticipated mother of all "Groupon deals" and the financial pundits have been having a ball dissecting their Prospectus...
Grouponzi is indeed exciting news for all of you Ponzi fans.
If you Google the words "ponzi" and Groupon, you will quickly surmise that there is an "just a fabulously incredible" (that's Web 2.0 jargon) amount of discussion concerning the Groupon business model and whether it is tantamount to a ponzi scheme, albeit a legal one.
What exactly is it, how has it grown so quickly (evidently they hold the world record in rapid revenue growth), when will it ever generate a profit, isn't it really a just ponzi or scheme (taking in new investor money to take out old investors), how can it sustain its pyramid like growth model in a finite world of local business customers. There are Chicago economists literally drawing marginal revenue curves (remember those) trying to explain how it works.
Say what ever you want, one thing is for certain it is an interesting technological variation of the old discount coupon theme. The basic business premise is very simple. Groupon wants to "internetize" offline local commerce markets.
In the words of their CEO and founder Andrew Mason: "If your thinking about investing, hopefully it's because like me, you believe that Groupon is better positioned than any company in history to reshape local commerce. The speed of our growth reflects the enormous opportunity before us to create a more efficient local market place."
"Reshape local commerce" and "create a more efficient local market place." Hmmm, what exactly does this mean.
NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING DISCUSSION SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS FINANCIAL ADVICE. IT IS PURELY SOCIAL COMMENTARY. INVESTORS SHOULD CONSULT WITH THEIR SPIRITUAL ADVISORS WHETHER AN INVESTMENT IS ADVISABLE.
Groupon is a is the final nail in the coffin for Main Street businesses that have heretofore managed to resist the Amazonization of their small but sustainable "neighborhood business existence."
Who are we talking about? We are talking about neighborhood restaurants like Joe's Pizzaria, service establishments like yoga studios, nail salons, hair salons, kayak rentals and small retailors, all of whom have until recently been sheltered from the internet and Walmart principle of "incredibly high volume and razor thin margins."
What Groupon does is every simple, they use internet connectivity to organize discount promotions that are condtioned on a minimum amount of acceptances. For example, Groupon convinces Joe to sell his Pizzas one day for $5 instead of $10, on the condition that at least 1000, Gropers, Groupees, or whatever they call them) accept. How do they accept? They click through their payment details and are charged if the offer becomes effective. Groupon then pockets $2.50 and then remits the remaining $2.50 through to the local business partner whenever it gets around to doing it (that's called the float).
So the end result is Joe has to deal with 1000 customers at a loss on a day that he would typically deal with 100. Why would he do this? Groupon says this is a unique new opportunity to acquire new customers. This is characterized as a new form of marketing campaign. Joe is supposed to pick up some new customers (many of whom are no doubt prepared to drive out of their way to get a $2.50 pie). Meanwhile the next day Groupons local reps will be talking to Sal accross the street. Savy?
I am not going to debate whether or not this makes business sense. There is enough here to keep an MBA busy for a semester. Clearly, there are many Groupees out there who are happy to hear about new ways to get deep discounts on God only knows what else.
But like everything else in this crazy mixed up ponzinomic world we are living in, there is clearly more to this than what meets the the third eye.
I submit that one of the big reasons the job market is not coming back is the high hurdles for creating and sustaining a small neighborhood business in Obamerica. You certainly are not going to agree with what I am about to say if you are Jeffrey Coremelt.
How do places like Central Europe and China convert to so called "market economies" so miraculously after being ineffecient planned ecopnomies for decades and decades? Very simple, they make it easy for the little guy to start a business, in many instances as a street or bazaar vendor and later a neighborhood establishment. Doing what? Selling computer parts, clothes, grilled meat, you name it. It's known as "trickle up" economics.
Unfortunately, in Obamerica, these kinds of acitivities are mired in red tape and all kinds of bureacratic/legal costs unheard of in places ranging form Warsaw to Shanghai. Try starting a shoe string operation in NYC and see what happens.
Ok, so its bad enough that an enterprising individual wants to start a small business. marketing on the internet is something any entrepreneur worth his or her salt is aware of. What Groupon is doing is throwing the little guy in a new and improved vice. On one side you have the pressure created by giant box establishments and service chains and now, thanks to Groupon you have a competitive feeding frenzy at the local commerce level.
With all the other bullshit he has to struggle with to stay in business, Joe little guy now has to worry about whether his customer base is going to get Groped. Indeed, there is apparently a growing number of Groupees who ask before they enter: "Do you Groupon?"
Is it any wonder that small business people are not thoroughly excited about the new internet coupon frenzy, led by Groupon and followed soon by Facebook, Google, Amazon and others?
Do you think small businesses that will now have to sink or swim in this new "efficient local commerce" environment are going to be chomping at the bit tomake new hires?
Except of course on their own private 1000 customer Grouponzi day.
Call me a Luddite if you want, I look at Groupon and what I see is another example of what is lacking in America today, resources being allocated to production as opposed to the latest MBA gimmick.
Here is where am absolutely certain I am right. There is plenty of scaling going on in social media, but so far not much profit production after how many years of hearing about this latest new technologically enabled business paradigms?
[WB7: About the title to this post. I was explaining this Groupon phenomena to
my Mom and Dad and my Dad said wait a minute let me grab the latest local discount flier we just received in the mail.
He read me the headline and I became hysterical with laughter: "Exciting news for sushi fans."
May we live in exciting times...]
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WELL HOW WILL WE PAY OUR WAY TO HONG KONG WHEN THE USD AND EURO COLLAPSE TOGETHER LIKE THE TWIN TOWERS?
THINK OF THAT! AND NO NEED FOR OBL TO PILOT THIS ONE ...BY HIS SURROGATES!
The wiki-leaks theory will find democracy arround the corner, once the troglodytes dilute their morbidity: '' And the web preachers no longer regard the oracle of WS as reliable in this universe of abundance and scarcity.'' (Our-Lady-of-the-Lost-Coral-Reef)
Love your work.
tip top today, William
Right on WB7; bringing light to Torchfire. POTUS PILOT top's the heap. Standing on the shoulders of Lord Blankfine and Court Jestors Benny and Timmy!
The Acropolis ...Groupon: Greek Tragety - American Metaphore.
Anyone up for discounting Obamerica 2.0?
One idea I was thinking is how it would be interesting to raise local capital online. Instead of customers, you have customer shareholders.
Think about that.
Sprinkle liberally with BitCoins, and you might just have a great idea...
The new Dot.con 2.0 that is forming to keep the market hot will implode quicker than the last.
And it will take a blink of a implosion by HFT that will be unnoticed until the masses of actual investors burn and itch after reading how badly they got raped on top of the futile products they have purchased.
I don't understand why Google has not entered the HFT space.
Google is in decline! People like WB-7 are not selling them selfs out any more!
Good on YA WB!
You notice that I don't adlink. I hate it! I believe in target specific advertising that is permission based. In other words, show me something I am going to be ointerested in when I am ready and willing to look at it.
Commercial carpet bombing is what google does.
Does anyone know williambanzai7's email address? I think it is his style to present erotic images of women in Japanese martial style. I have some of my 6' wife in Nordic and Greek martial style I'd like to share with him.
That sounds intriguing; in a non-creepy way, I hope you realize.
will click if you can get her to commit to 100 gropes at a 66.6% discount.
now now, i'm sure leftkofsky's another very nice jewish boy who just happens to be from the chicago mafia , er, area.
(just like our jewgro in chief).
http://www.rense.com/1.imagesH/strait_dees.jpg
Drop your contact details in a comment on my blog. I won't post it publicly.
williambanzai7.blogspot.com
A class act as aways! Keep up the good work Bonzai! My Delaware crossing (Mat is ready) George is AWSOME! YEN. I used special material.
Its BANZAI!
acropolis shot is the best. nice. if enough countries all agree to buy greek's shit as a discount, then the ecb group will give the go ahead for the golden fleecing.
Superb! your comments on the shoestring business
model are right on the money, If anyone should be so bold as to
build a hotdog cart and sell weiners to the flock, they had better have
$10-$15G to pay off the city/county overlords,and even then ,good luck.
The United States of Generica, no color, lost.
supposed to have really happened though not all to the same citizen.
http://www.dollarvigilante.com/blog/2011/6/4/a-day-in-the-land-of-the-free.html
last summer just for the LULz, me & some friends started a lemonade stand at one of those italian fests that shuts down our neighborhood for 2 weeks so that the "widows & orphans" can make their yearly nut. we got shut down by the cops in less than 2 hours.
this year we're thinking about using some 12 year olds as frontmen and wiring the block up with hidden cameras ;~)
Sigh, EVERYONE is gaming "Affirmative Action" these daze... :>D
Is your Lemonade FDA approved?
10% to the Policemans ball next time,and you will be O.K.
Can I buy my meds using groupon...???
i'd buy em for you if i could be sure you would take them as prescribed.
yeah, nice ass bill. do you need an extra lens? i'm here for you bill.
Do you take the pictures of the chicks yourself william? if so, nice job.
Would I be doing this if I did? ;-)
Groupon looks like bullshit to me. I think I'll give it a couple of months after the IPO and then short it.
I agree. There can be money in marketing lost leaders if done right but the internet so far has not been successful at it. I think it will be short lived once clients review thier metrics.
I'm in Johur Bahru. Bonzai, It's dinner time here so I will repectfully, give thanks later.
Johor Bahru...is how its said in Wiki...
Groupon Inc. Chairman Eric Lefkofsky is ‘fluffing the stock’ before the IPO, against all rules.
"The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission limits what companies can say about their prospects ahead of an IPO."
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-05/groupon-chairman-lefkofsky-says...
Terminal Jewification. It's everywhere.
What a dummy. How many shares is he selling? The thing is hemmoraging money and they are only in 45 countries.
When you consider all the billions being raised for this instead of high speed rail or a smart power grid, for example, it makes you shake your head and wonder.
Is this supposed to be the best we can produce?
I haven't even touched the second part of this which is that the people who created this were involved in a different socially relevant activity, raising Internet money for good socially active causes, before they got into this. They justify the sellout by saying they have devoted themselves to making customers and merchants happy.
Grouponzi...
Did they contact you to run their ads in the sidebar yet :)
Seriously, you are on a roll lately.
My Regards
I've scanned their ads, they could use help.
You are the best of the BEST
Someone please tell me how to stop my wife from buying these fucking things. Just because she buys em doesn't mean I have to take her to dinner. Fuck
Sure meals are half off basically but mostly why would I eat at these places if I never eat there before or hear of them
But it's exciting to drive 30 miles for a 50% discount lobster....no?
Half-off for something you otherwise would not have bought is a 50% loss.
You have my sympathy, but at least you have a Wife and what's the alternative - cooking and doing the dishes?
Bargain with her; for every dinner out she gives you a blowjob coupon - redeemable after dinner and right before bed.
Be creative; Women like visual stimulai too, just ask Anthony Weiner ;-)
I sell something people just don't need, L.P. records, vinyl if you please and
Grueponzi called and asked if we would like to participate and I told the
woman that what we sold many times were one off's, for a time at least and
if people do come in and buy something decent for half off I have to sell many
other things to pay for the thing we sold for half off.They have NO liability and
would always like to get you to sell someting physical for half off yet have
NO liability.
Thanks alot Thee Barbarous Relic
Well I have a huge vinyl collection which I topped off with 80% of HPs list including an original Stereo version of Casino Royale in mint condition ;-)
Very interesting and revealing in a number of ways...HOWEVER, you would be better served to have not fallen into the trap of bashing Obama via a sphomoric "Obamerica" label. While I am no fan of our POTUS, your excellent points will be sumarrily dismissed by those who are. Furthermore, you will lose the chance to influence others to consider the logic of your presentation. Lastly, the source of the problems and issues we face are far wider, deeper and more complex than our POTUS.
Obamerica today, gone tomorrow.
Heard about the jobs generated by this fantastical invention from Chicago?
Truthfully, I am tired of compartmentalizing the problem. It is one big bag of smelly shit with interchangeable parts.
I forgot to mention who the underwriters of this thing are. Care to hazard a guess?
Groupman Slacks?
Gropem Sachs ;-)
is that a Grouponzi in your underwriter or are you just happy to fleece me?
Let's consult with the "Pornography Exchange Commission..." :>D