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Guest Post: FBI Raids Chuck E. Cheese For “Undermining U.S. Currency”

Tyler Durden's picture


From Brandon Smith at Alt Market

FBI Raids Chuck E. Cheese For “Undermining U.S. Currency”

The FBI and the Secret Service showed their
willingness today to utilize the expanded definitions of “counterfeit
currency” and “domestic terrorism” brought about by the recent
conviction of Bernard von NotHaus of the alternative currency outlet
“Liberty Dollar” when the agencies initiated a surprise raid on an
unsuspecting Chuck E. Cheese establishment in Des Moines, Iowa.

Chuck E Cheese is charged with violations of 18
U.S.C. § 514, which covers the counterfeiting of Federal instruments,
including currency, as well as 18 U.S.C. § 486, which states:

Whoever, except as authorized by law,
makes or utters or passes, or attempts to utter or pass, any coins of
gold or silver or other metal, or alloys of metals, intended for use as
current money, whether in the resemblance of coins of the United States
or of foreign countries, or of original design, shall be fined under
this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.

The statute phrases “intended for use as current
money”, as well as “of original design” are extremely vague and wide
open for any number of unconstitutional interpretations. Traditionally,
the concept of “resemblance” or “similitude” in terms of counterfeiting
has been considered to mean an attempt to make an exact copy or near
exact copy of a unit of U.S. currency with the intent to illegally
replicate its appearance as well as its value. However, the
FBI found that the Liberty Dollar decision, and the “precedent” set by
it, actually expanded the definition of “resemblance and similitude” to
mean almost any privately made coin or barter token. That
is to say, there are no longer any exact guidelines for what actually
constitutes “counterfeiting”, and therefore, all alternative currencies
are now fair game, including the insidiously prevalent Chuck E. Cheese
game token.

“Haven’t you ever been at the laundry mat with a
pocket of change thinking you have plenty of quarters, only to discover
that most of them are Chuck E. Cheese tokens?!” railed Anne Tompkins,
Department of Justice prosecutor in the Liberty Dollar case, as she read
from a carefully prepared DHS script. “That is close enough to counterfeiting for me! It is a blatant destabilization of our democratic economy! What are you supposed to do, let your underpants wallow in filth while Chuck E. Cheese makes a profit? I say no to these financial terrorists!”

“We have to start making examples out of these
alternative currency people,” said Agent Heinrich Himmler of the FBI,
who was part of the Des Moines raid, “if we don’t chill enthusiasm for
this kind of black market activity and so called “free trade” now, then
who knows what could happen! We can’t have average citizens attempting to operate their own commerce. That would be un-American!”

Himmler’s sentiments were echoed by Southern Poverty Law Center mascot and all around swell guy, Mark Potok, who stated:

“We know for a fact that the private trade of any
alternative currency directly funds terrorist organizations like “white
Al Qaeda” (white Al Qaeda is a franchise of Al Qaeda LTD., all rights reserved), the Ku Klux Klan Anti-Semite Aryan Stormfront Warriors, and, the dreaded Cobra Commandos, not to mention the Decepticons. I
have no proof of this…..but I work with the Department of Homeland
Security, so clearly I don’t need to explain myself to you…”

He related further:

“The majority of Chuck E. Cheese customers are obviously right wing extremists with aspirations of homegrown terrorism. They
openly believe in outlandish conspiracy theories, including the claim
that the American economy is on a bullet-train to hell, its greased
lighting supplied by the rampant unaccountable activities of the Federal
Reserve, including their deliberate destruction of our monetary system. These accusations are preposterous. I see absolutely no signs that the economy or the dollar are in any danger whatsoever. Frankly, only a man like Timothy McVeigh would eat at Chuck E. Cheese.”

“Chuck E. Cheese will deny they cater to terrorists, but who are they to argue with me? I have an open invitation to appear on MSNBC anytime I want and say anything I want without ever being questioned. I could go on Hardball, wax my bikini line, and do a naked hula dance in Chris Matthews’ face and no one would say a damn thing! I’m freaken’ untouchable!”

The Secret Service and the FBI were confronted at
the scene of the raid by alternative media proponents who questioned the
validity of the action, citing an “extreme misinterpretation of
currency laws” in order to “railroad anyone who dared to refuse
participation in the corrupt dollar based system”. FBI spokeswomen Gertrud Klink refused to allow web news reporters access to the scene, and failed to respond to any queries.

“They aren’t real media anyway”, said Klink. “They
may have city or state issued press passes, and they may be pummeling
the MSM with their growing readership numbers, but if it doesn’t say FOX
or CNN on the ID, who do they expect to take them seriously? If
you can’t reinforce people’s ignorant preconceived notions of any given
event with sterile corporately crafted talking points broadcast on
digital HD cable, then what good are you to the FBI? ‘The O’Reilly Factor’… that’s real journalism!”

Alleged terrorists apprehended on the scene
included Chuck E. Cheese himself, as well as partners in crime Jasper T.
Jowls and Mr. Munch. Mr. Munch was shot and killed by the FBI while attempting to “gnaw an agent’s leg”. The
West Des Moines Junior Girls Softball Squad (Go Bulldogs!), were also
caught red handed in the act of exchanging illegal Chuck E. Cheese
tokens for turns at the “Whack-A-Mole.”

“We stormed in right as they were about to thrash several unmistakable likenesses of Mark Potok with a rubber mallet. It was sickening! I hope Mark knows how much danger he’s really in….”

Twelve year old shortstop, Suzie Silverton, had a different view of the situation:

“We had just won the state championship and thought it would be nice to celebrate with some pizza and stuff…”

“We didn’t know we were doing anything wrong, you know. I mean, nobody ever told us that Chuck E. Cheese tokens were against the law. We’ve been using them since I was little to play games and all that. They don’t look like any real money I know. Only an idiot (or a Liberty Dollar case jury) would mistake them for legal tender. I asked an FBI man if he could show me where in the law it says specifically that tokens are illegal. He said they make the law up as they go along now, then he sprayed me in the face with bear repellent…”

Anne Tompkins defended the actions of the FBI in a press conference statement ghost written by Janet Napolitano herself:

“Chuck E. Cheese tokens are indeed a form of counterfeiting. As
we pointed out in the Liberty Dollar case, any round metal token with a
portrait, especially a left facing portrait, with visual devices
similar to U.S. coins (which are open to our personal interpretation),
could easily be mistaken as legal tender by the dull witted American
masses. Never mind that the portrait on the token is of a singing rat…”

“We have several versions of the Chuck E. Cheese token that violate the same exact statutes as Liberty Dollar did. Some
of the coins have dollar denominations, like 25 cents, inscribed on
them, and some even say “In Pizza We Trust”, obviously copied from “In
God We Trust” which is prevalent on all U.S. coinage. Honestly,
that’s all we need to nail you for conspiracy to commit currency fraud
nowadays, so all you Liberty Movement insurgents out there can forget
about sound money projects to protect your communities from
hyperinflation. We’re going to tap dance on your graves…”

Seven-year-old Tommy Tuddlemeyer of Des Moines
interrupted Tompkins’ statement in protest over the raid on his favorite
family restaurant.

Tuddlemeyer: “Anne Tompkins is a shameless soulless shill puppet for the DHS and the corporate banking oligarchy! Don’t you see! They’ve
made the application of counterfeiting law so arbitrary that no one can
ever know what the actual definition of a counterfeit is! It
is utterly unconstitutional to leave the interpretation of a law “open
ended” so that it can be used as a flail by the establishment to smash
anyone who seeks independence in any form from the existing system! Plus……I miss the ball pit and the pizza! Where am I going to have my 8th birthday party now!

Tompkins: “You’re forgetting something, young man. Barter tokens are also undermining the strength of our dollar and our monetary system. It is illegal to create an economic system or an alternative currency that competes with the Federal Reserve Note. By using tokens, you are destroying the integrity of our country and putting the financial safety of everyone at risk.”

Tuddlemeyer: “Listen, you haggard she-goblin! I may have been born almost yesterday, but that doesn’t mean I’m a moron! You
can try to misinterpret 18 U.S.C. § 486 all you want, but it doesn’t
change the fact that competing barter systems are in no way illegal! Show me the law, wench!”

Tompkins: “Don’t worry, if it’s not written down yet, we’ll make sure it is before the year is out.”

Tuddlemeyer: “If you
really cared at all about the safety of the dollar and our financial
system, then you would use the power of the DOJ to help investigate the
global banks and the Federal Reserve. They are destroying the stability of our currency daily and right out in the open! Its
apparent that you have no interest in protecting the American people,
only keeping us unshielded and weak as corporate elites bleed us dry,
making us sufficiently desperate before they introduce the SDR as the
new world reserve currency to replace the dollar, and position the IMF
as the ultimate global arbiter of all economic activity around the

Tompkins: That’s all “conspiracy theory”. Only silly kooky internet crazies with insane mental illness psycho craziness say things like that.

Tuddlemeyer: What?! It’s admitted! Ever visit the IMF website? I thought a “conspiracy” was supposed to be something secret. This isn’t a secret…

Tompkins: You’re crazy, and therefore everything you say no matter how factual is without merit…

Tuddlemeyer: Even if
you were right about competing systems and currencies being illegal,
which you’re not, how did Liberty Dollar or Chuck E. Cheese actually
“compete” with the greenback? People had to exchange
dollars for Liberty Dollar coins, and for Chuck E. Cheese tokens, so
dollars were still being used and traded within the barter process. Nothing you say makes any sense. Man, I need a Flintstones vitamin and a shot of Mountain Dew just to get through this conversation...”

Tompkins: “Ok, I admit it; the raids on Liberty Dollar and Chuck E. Cheese were not about counterfeiting in the slightest. In
fact, the banking elite are unbearably afraid of average people taking
matters into their own hands and applying their own unique solutions to
the problems of economic destabilization. If all you serfs
go around implementing your own financial protections and localizing
your own economies, then you won’t need global banks or the government
to “help you” when it really hits the fan in the next couple of years. If
you people get even the narrowest inkling that you have the ability to
live WITHOUT the dollar, or any other fiat central banking instrument of
intergalactic subjugation, then that would really peeve us off, plus
put us out of business. Can you see me having to work a real job? I don’t think so! I would rather send goon squads to burn down your dirty little suburban hovels!”

Tuddlemeyer: How do you live with yourself, lady…?

Tompkins: I make sure everyone else is as miserable as I am…

Tommy Tuddlemeyer was promptly tasered for daring
to assert his First Amendment rights in a public place and was heard to
exclaim as his head was placed into a black bag that he “wanted his
mommy”. Police pointed out that if he could not afford his own mommy, an inept court appointed mommy would be provided for him.

The DOJ, the Secret Service, and the FBI are moving
forward with similar actions against other organizations using
alternative counterfeit currencies, including Disney Dollars, Roller
Dollars, “common border” cooperation against Canadian Tire Dollars, and
raids on every casino establishment in the greater Las Vegas area:

“We’ll leave no stone unturned” said Agent Himmler. “I
have full faith that with the combined efforts of the DOJ, the FBI, the
IRS, and the DHS, we will scare the holy bejesus out of anyone who even
looks at the dollar sideways. It’s very simple, if you
want to stay out of our crosshairs; shut up, use your Fed notes, and
your credit card, and keep on shopping, America! Easy peasy! And don’t worry, if anything ever does happen to the dollar, we’ll be there to pick up the pieces for you. Just don’t ever try to pick them up yourself…”

UPDATE: The above news story is a parody. Hopefully you noticed. However, the underlying absurdity of the situation is, unfortunately, very real, and going on today right under our noses. The
humorous anecdote is meant to illustrate a point; that the activities
of the DOJ and various federal agencies in regards to alternatives
commerce of late have been growing more vicious and more irrational as
the disintegration of the mainstream economic system nears. Stagflation
is striking all sectors, corporate retailers like Walmart are no longer
able to absorb wholesale price increases of goods and are now charging
much more at the shelf, energy prices are going through the roof, and
housing and wages continue to decline. Centralized economic
structures like our own always struggle to stay relevant to the people
in the face of financial implosion, at least until they can be replaced
with yet ANOTHER centralized financial system. Power over
the economy and power over currency are the greatest mechanisms of
control in existence, at least, beyond the barrel of a gun, and even
more so in some cases. The establishment will stop at nothing to maintain their grip on this mechanism. This includes criminalizing even the most logical and moral behaviors.

The bottom line; whether or not barter networks or sound money initiatives are made illegal is irrelevant. What the DOJ, the SPLC, or even the FBI claims is “domestic terrorism” in terms of trade is, in the end, meaningless. When all is said and done, people are going to look for ways to survive. Barter networking and precious metals are a natural economic extension of this inherent instinct. Every
single nation in history that has experienced a fiscal catastrophe has
immediately sprouted private localized trade in response. Barter is a fact of life that even the Federal Reserve can’t undo. The
key, though, to making barter a proactive tool, is to utilize it BEFORE
collapse occurs, instead of waiting until after the fact. The
key is to preempt disaster with a free market already in place to
provide new options for Americans who find themselves afraid, confused,
and in the dark. Never forget, if we do not take action
now, global banks will be more than happy to introduce their own
“solution”; one that is not so free…


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Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:03 | 1164709 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

What, no Marlboro bucks?


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:28 | 1164790 Holodomor2012
Holodomor2012's picture

I'll tell you what they won't touch, and I shouldn't need to tell you why.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:32 | 1164815 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

so what will the punishment be if convicted?

being confined to a seat in chuck e cheese during peak hours?

its stiff punishment like this that we need if we truly don't want repeat offenders.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:42 | 1164842 detersbb
detersbb's picture

The Parkers Brothers might want to leave the country (Monopoly) before they get busted too.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1164913 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

The article was meant to be humor. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 23:11 | 1167816 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

Thanks so much for clarifying that.  Perhaps fish isn't brain food after all.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:05 | 1164915 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

Las Vegas to be CLOSED DOWN due top their illegal use of tokens and chips that claim to represent currency. As the WORLD"S LARGEST counterfeiting ring, the casinos in Las Vegas have clearly violated USA laws and must be shut down immediately.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:48 | 1165095 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

There is hope.  Perhaps soon targeted would be those sponsoring such evil, unamerican venues like subways and buses.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:57 | 1165148 Thisson
Thisson's picture

I logged in just to junk you, bigot.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:09 | 1165184 Mont Bleu
Mont Bleu's picture

Same here. A shame that this website is beginning to attract racist white trash extremists bc of their blind hatred for the US gov. The criticisims raised here are rational and these free-riders try to hijack it to their own agenda

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:02 | 1165392 Holodomor2012
Holodomor2012's picture

Happy Passover to those who junked me.  You don't suppose the famine in Canaan was caused by monetary failure do you?  I mean that's why you moved to Egypt right?  Anyways, enjoy your matzah.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:54 | 1165671 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Hahaha!  You get 20 points today, my friend: 10 for each dim-witted Jewish supremacist that responded to you.

Watch this, though: I'm about to score at least 30.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:15 | 1165760 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:44 | 1165333 Gold Dog
Gold Dog's picture

You #1 Joe!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:09 | 1165846 Marla And Me
Marla And Me's picture

Chocolate!  Hmmmmmmmmmm!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:07 | 1166046 muckraker
muckraker's picture

This is also satire, right? Caricature of a rabid anti-Semite...funny stuff.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:29 | 1164813 Paul Bogdanich
Paul Bogdanich's picture

You have got to be kidding me.  This is a political statements meant to take the air out of the sails of Americans accumulating physical gold.  A Krugerand would still be legal to hold as it is a foreign currency it's just that you can't buy anything with it until you convert it into Benny Bucks.  There goes the value of your gold as a barter currency.  All they have to do now is pass a regulation (wouldn't even involve the congress just a regulation under the authority of the Secretary) that you need to be licensed to buy sell or trade delivery bars or ingots.  I have said for ages that the main risk to the price of gold was political rather than economic.  There you have it.  

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:44 | 1164856 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



They made Marijuana, cocaine and methampetamine illegal, and the prices of all of them have been falling ever since;... what's that?... black market?... prices artificially high?...

Ooops. Nevermind.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:04 | 1165396 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

I'm still confused about the grams ounces kilos pounds thing?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:47 | 1165597 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture


It's all the fault of those bloody Brits.

They stick us with this stupid "English System" of weights and measures (bushels? pecks? quarts? pints?), and then they go metric like the rest of the civilized world...


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:02 | 1164903 primalplasma
primalplasma's picture

What you do is you hold your precious metals and convert them to a sound fiat currency when the right time comes. I have physical gold and silver but I never expected to actually use it for bartering.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:02 | 1165164 Hacked Economy
Hacked Economy's picture

Possibly...there may or may not ever be a true [classic] bartering system in which silver/gold coins are used as currency.  But I have SAEs and pre-1965s anyway, and in worst case, they're acting as a great inflation hedge, even if only to be "converted" at some later date per your suggestion.

But I also have original 1980s-era Disney Dollars and Chuck E. Cheese tokens from my childhood.  They might come in handy, too.

Ya never know...  ;-)

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:13 | 1165762 XitSam
XitSam's picture

"sound fiat currency"  Candidate for oxymoron of the year.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:43 | 1165084 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

I have said for ages that the main risk to the price of gold was political rather than economic...


The main risk to the price of anything is political. 

One of the main reasons for the value of Ag and AU is the policies regulating the mining, refining and possession of the end product, but control of the hole in the ground where the stuff originates from.


I read somewhere recently someone suggesting hardrock mines being a great place to store spent fuel rods.  Must've been a fed/irs/bis recommendation.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:18 | 1165231 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

Salt mines are the right place for long time, millenia range, storage of nuke waste. The existing salt beds (such as near Syracuse, NY) have been geologically stable for many 100 millions of years. The Forces of NIMBY are strong and organized against such practical ideas though. Maybe the current irradiation of the biosphere will convince people that the over stuffed pools of spent fuel rods need better, safer long term storage than the current open dump approach.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:58 | 1165156 Trundle
Trundle's picture

The power of the state condenses its criminality by the promulgation of obtuse and confusing statutes enforced by selective prosecution.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:46 | 1165329 OldTrooper
OldTrooper's picture

you can't buy anything with it until you convert it into Benny Bucks.

Think so?  I've got an old Ford Ranger I'll sell you for 7/10ths of an ounce of gold.  Gold and silver doesn't spend worth a shit a WalMart - but it's accepted at my place.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:16 | 1165776 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

Nice! I'll be selling my power washer this spring for about 3 oz's of silver. Used to be about 8 or 9. Inflation is killing me!!!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:55 | 1165125 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture


Took me four paragraphs to realize this was a parody.  Everything I've read lately in the news made this just another example of the idiots working in government at all levels.  It's becoming hard to tell truth from fiction in what the government and media does.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:05 | 1165176 Hacked Economy
Hacked Economy's picture

Me too.  Great article...makes you *wonder* at the beginning, 'cuz who knows what the Feds will consider as contraband currency nowadays.

I'm keeping my shells and beads buried with my gold.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:06 | 1165409 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

Long wampum.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:17 | 1165781 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

I had to quickly scroll to the bottom as my blood pressure was rising to quickly!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:53 | 1165991's picture

It's becoming hard to tell truth from fiction in what the government and media does.


The following is true:

Baby Squirrel Gets Pepper-Sprayed By Cop - Video

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:36 | 1165579 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

Don't forget the Linden Dollars. LOL

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:16 | 1167121 hardmedicine
hardmedicine's picture

really, that was the biggest laugh out loud moment I have had in about a month.!  SERIOUS.  I can't even watch Stephen Colbert and John Stewart anymore (used to be my comic relief) because they too have been infiltrated by Communists Club of Rome.  It's been about 2 years now since they were taken over.  'So sad.  But this made my terrible lousy day just a little easier to bear

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:04 | 1164711 aVian
aVian's picture

sad humor it possible to laugh out loud and shit my pants at the same time?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1164765 Clamdigger
Clamdigger's picture

I have found that if you laugh really, really hard, it becomes somewhat more likely to happen spontaneously.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:51 | 1165109 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

I have found that successive candles on the cake soon make hard laughter unnecessary

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:58 | 1164817 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

LOL...."Heinrich Himmler of the FBI" how fitting!


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:40 | 1165309 weinerdog43
weinerdog43's picture

Now you've done it.  Probably have appeared on some sort of watch list.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:36 | 1164829 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

There was a president on that Chucky Cheese token.  I'm not sure which one, but he seemed familiar.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:52 | 1164874 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Pity the Goon Show is no more, this would be great script material......

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:02 | 1164713 celticgold
celticgold's picture

 the juxtaposition of whatsernames underwear and cheese , is just too much

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:05 | 1164722 Montgomery Burns
Montgomery Burns's picture

All parents will agree that chuck e cheese should be shut down and the management jailed. Oh, and their pizza sucks also!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:09 | 1164725 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

You forget 1 industry that thrives on tokens!!



I even have a silver chips collection from vegas.





Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:20 | 1165243 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

Ever come across the "love tokens" from the Swayback Ranch, etc?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:08 | 1164727 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Better hide your silver rounds. They will be raiding every house in America next to get your silver rounds. You damn counterfeiters best be hiding now!!!

Now we know how they will confiscate your silver.  

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:10 | 1164733 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

wearing a silver piercing this summer might really become a dangerous enterprise...


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:08 | 1164728 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

Fascist police state strikes again!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:08 | 1164918 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

Parody?  Do not obfuscate.  I know for a fact that the story is true and the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:09 | 1164730 truont
truont's picture

If all you serfs go around implementing your own financial protections and localizing your own economies, then you won’t need global banks or the government to “help you” when it really hits the fan in the next couple of years.

The controlists in Washington don't care about the people.

They only care about control.  They won't stop until we push back.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:12 | 1164743 umop episdn
umop episdn's picture

Many people expend a lot of energy protesting against their irresponsible, unresponsive government. It seems like a terrible waste of time, considering how ineffectual their protests are. Is it enough of a consolation for them to be able to read about their efforts in the foreign press? I think that they would feel better if they tuned out the politicians, the way the politicians tune them out. It's as easy as turning off the television set. If they try it, they will probably observe that nothing about their lives has changed, nothing at all, except maybe their mood has improved. They might also find that they have more time and energy to devote to more important things.

Dmitry Orlov

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1165027 samsara
samsara's picture

Dmitry:  Don't pay attention to Politicians, it only encourages them.   What they do or don't do matters little at this point.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:13 | 1165442 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

How long does a government shut-down have to persist before you or I actually notice (unless you're military or on the dole)?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:10 | 1164732 ReeferMac
ReeferMac's picture

Ahahahaa! April Fools!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:08 | 1164734 mfoste1
mfoste1's picture

then they need to raid every casino in the US....ur tax dollars hard at work:)

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:09 | 1164735 johnnymustardseed
johnnymustardseed's picture

I refuse to use coupons at the grocery store because they undermine the fiat

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:11 | 1164738 web bot
web bot's picture

This is a joke  - right?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1164759 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Quote:  The above news story is a parody.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:00 | 1164904 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Oh, come on!   We coulda had a buncha fun with web bot.  You went and ruined it.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1164990 Two Face
Two Face's picture

Hey, don't go giving the DHS and DOJ any bright ideas now.  They might actually take this sh-- as a serious threat.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:17 | 1164763 ZorseMan
ZorseMan's picture

Is undermining the legitimate currency of the United States a joke to you?

Chuk-e-Cheese has been getting away with this kind of undemocratic behaviour for too long! Time to put that ugly mouse in the slammer.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1164764 ZorseMan
ZorseMan's picture

Double Post

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:20 | 1164777 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

For today.  Ask again in a few months.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:23 | 1164780 espirit
espirit's picture

Only if you want it to be, otherwise go back to DWTS.

sarc on/off, I forget which.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1164739 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture


Next FBI will raid all Vegas casinos and seize all their chips? Putt putt golf and arcades will now be raided and tokens seized? Just great...everyone knows you never go full retard!


YouTube - Full Retard

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:10 | 1164742 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Thomkins: "In fact, the banking elite are unbearably afraid of average people taking matters into their own hands and applying their own unique solutions to the problems of economic destabilization. "

The banking elite should be scared. I don't need coins, just an 870.

Come and get the coins bitchez. I have some slugs for you too!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:11 | 1164744 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Let's dig up FDR's ass and prosecute him for what he did by taking gold out of the currency. Then LBJ is next, because he counterfeited real silver coinage and made it into these silly copper-nickel toys that we have to trade.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:11 | 1164745 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Chuck E. Cheese had no right to use Obama's portrait on that coin.  I can understand the federal outrage.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:14 | 1164746 Twindrives
Twindrives's picture

Condoms in a coin wrapper are illegal as well.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1164906 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

...and there go those delicious chocolate "gold coins" from the Easter baskets.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1164748 Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

It seems to me this DOJ and the last and Rs and Ds are one and the same. You could easily have exchanged all the words and put left-wing extrmeists if the year was 2006 and at the same time the minority party would be getting chastised for voting against the debt ceiling, which they did. We need a new party--plain and simple. Maybe Jesse Venture will start one. I'm serious; he is like  lot of Americans who are basically fiscally conservative but socially liberal (you could put Trump in this boat as well). And both basically address mainstrem American political opinion, for whatever its worth. Both parties are parodies of themselves; the irony of Dems saying the debt ceiling has to be rasied when they voted against five years ago is, well, quite ironic. But same goes for the repubs...they played the position the Dems are playing now. It's like a game with these clowns. There is no actual convictions, just party line votes. I feel, and fear, no one is coming to help us. However, I did enjoy this article and it was very clever and well written. So no offense to the author. Sorry for the tangents.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:46 | 1164864 SilverBaron
SilverBaron's picture

Jesse said it's just like professional wrestling.  They pretend not to like each other in front of the cameras, then they go behind closed doors and have drinks together.  Can't you picture boner and reed sitting together and congratulating each other on their acting skills.

Boner: Wow reed, that was pretty good, I actually thought you were serious.

Reed: thanks boner, it comes with practice.  You'll get better with time.  You're getting better already.  I actually believed those tears were real too.  Could you get that smelly onion out of your pocket?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:24 | 1165939 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I'm your huckleberry.  Seriously, I lived through Ventura's stint as Governor of the State of Minnesota.  I didn't vote for the man.  Call me old fashioned, but I just didn't feel his background as a pro wrestler instilled the proper gravitas for the position and I found the pink boa offputting.  No one will actually admit to voting for him anymore, but many, like my sister, are liars.  I, however, actually did not.  I voted for the blue-flavored one and was quite mortified that we had collectively elected someone who was so obviously unsuited.  However, absolved of all responsibility, I was able to enjoy the ensuing circus. It was, of course, a particularly Jesse-shaped disaster. The man is a narcissist of the first water - a master of the me - it really was all about him and if it wasn't he made it so.   He engaged in an ill-advised running feud with the press.  The press rose to the challenge.  I too occasionally enjoy poking something slightly vicious with a stick.  The results, while unpredictable, are always entertaining. He was fairly ineffectual as Governor, though he did manage to return the states rainy day fund to the taxpayers.  I received a couple hundred dollars, but you know what happens in your household when there is no rainy day fund and it rains.  You have to go begging to your in-laws to get the roof fixed.  I mostly recall a lot of noise and bluster.  Then, he got bored and announced he would resign in favor of the Lieutenant Governor, though he never did.  After his term he slunk off to the Mexican Baja and nothing was heard from him for years, and now here he is again posturing like he has political aspirations once more.  If elected, I predict a Jesse-shaped disaster of biblical proportions.  It won't fail to amuse.       


Also, I'm sorry, I'm sure his wife, Terry, is a nice lady, and one of the things I liked about Jesse was that he obviously adored her, but she looked like a biker chick.  She refused, wisely I think, to serve as the state's First Lady, which was somewhat awkward.  His teenaged son threw parties at the Governor's Mansion while they were not in attendance (they mostly lived in their house in Maple Grove), as unsupervised teenagers are wont to do, and unspecified damages were done costing unspecified amounts of taxpayer funds to repair.  


These are just things I remember off the top of my head.  I'm sure a little research would offer up a wealth of interesting data.  Get it quick, as it will disappear if he becomes a contender.   

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1164751 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The most effective satire is based in reality. We read this and realize that what 10 years ago would have been laughed off the stage now makes the stomach churn. Sign of the times or of our growing realization that the country we woke up next to this morning is not the same country we married several decades ago?

So what are we going to do about it? Remain in a miserable and abusive marriage simply because we are too cowardly to make the painful changes needed or will we divorce the bastard? Here we are deciding on a daily basis that the incrementally greater pain of remaining in the abusive relationship is still better than the blown out of proportion projected pain of divorce. If this is the case, who exactly in this marriage is abusing us?

Things are never as bad as we project them to be. We project them as terrible in order to manufacture an excuse not to do what we all know needs to be done.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:17 | 1164767 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

USA in totaly battered housewife syndrome. Most are happy just to stay and do nothing, after all that might just make them angrier. Besides, theres still room left on the credit card for more beer and chips.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:27 | 1164974 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

USA in totaly battered housewife syndrome

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Me fears the IRS - above all.

Don't wanna go to prison, eat prison food or engage in prison sex ...

Don't want protracted  legal entanglements either ..

So, I will pay ... pay ... pay ...


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:53 | 1165984 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Don't worry, there are people like me carrying the fight for vaginas like you.

Unfortunately, it's me against a million, so you'll lose.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 17:12 | 1166356 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

I like sleeping in my own bed undisturbed at night ... without howls from up and down the cell block ... it's thoughts like that that keep us in line, and paying our taxes ... sometimes not on time, but paying them nonetheless.

When we're working that is ... looks like I'll owe zilch this next year, doing some self-funded 'research' and design work ...

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:31 | 1165019 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

hmmmm, Battered Housewife syndrome. Great and sad analogy SD! and very true.

Keep coming back for more as long as the abuser shows a little love (SNAP Love, Cash for Clunker Love, like that) every so often.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:19 | 1164774 Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

CD, you are right that nothing is ever as bad is it is made out to be. But how do you think one could go about training their thoughts to not always go to the worst case, which gets quite depressing? Not just for our current political situation but for everyday life. Thanks for any help. You are this board's philospher-in-chief. You should be on staff. Do we get a vote. Or is ZH still privately traded lol

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:43 | 1164823 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Looks like I found my other ZH fan. :>)

Speaking strictly about myself I found that the reason I would (and have a tendency to still) project the worst case scenario was very simple to understand and vastly complicated to rectify. I was running from myself. I didn't want to deal with all the ugly boogiemen I had haunting me 24/7.

Some of these demons were social creations that are deliberately woven into our daily lives in order to control. But I found that since I never had done the initial inner work required to remove my deep seated fears, I was like putty in the hands of the manipulators. So I began to work on myself.

First turn off the TV and leave it off. Period. For those who watch TV more than an hour a day, it will be like going cold turkey from heroin or putting down the cigarettes. But one must do this in order to remove that influence from their lives AND to begin to understand the effect TV has/had on their thought process.

The other first step was to change my diet. I stopped eating processed foods and began to eat more from scratch. This was a huge issue for me because I was lazy and I didn't wish to make the time to prepare the food in order to eat well. It required a change in perspective. Do I deserve better treatment? Do I warrant a higher consideration than Stouffers or McDonalds affords me?

The answer is YES. But it required some personal courage and guts to make these changes. I needed to treat it will the same degree of concern I did my profession or my leisure time. Once I began to make these changes, the mind and body began to clear and I suddenly saw that much of my fear was artifically and externally induced. At that point the path became much clearer and self explanatory.

Good luck!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:15 | 1164951 Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

Thanks! You're awesome. TV will be hard givng up. But I know I definitlely need to sop watching the news. Period. But I never thought about food but I heard someone else menion how this helps the body and mind the other day, so it's a coincidence...or is it?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:37 | 1165048 Waterman Jim
Waterman Jim's picture

There are no coincidences.



Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:43 | 1165072 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's not just the news that has a corrosive effect. Everything you see on TV (and the movies) is teaching your conscious and subconscious mind about social norms. You are being conditioned and it's mostly subtle and unnoticed. But it is there and all together it creates or enables our passive state, our compliant minds and bodies. If you approach TV from a disinterested point of view you quickly see the subtle fear conditioning we undergo on a daily basis.

Turn if off completely. Only after you have withdrawn from it completely will you begin to see what it has done, and continues to do, to you. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:33 | 1165275 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

I thought the appearance of the Tea Party offers some hope for the end of total passivity in the electorate. The best source of news is from books. By the time they are written about current events, the events have matured to a perspective of proper scale. Most news is really rumors and gossip. Hippies recall when they got all the news they needed on the weather report. Recent rumors of a hard rain gonna fall have proven correct.


Many senior citizens are completely disengaged because they see neither major party making any difference as to the constant decline in DC. None even protest the confiscation of their savings and money market interest payments by the Fed fiat policy. I think that will change soon.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:01 | 1166024 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

If the "Teap Party" had stayed firmly rooted in the Ron Paul camp, where it initially came from, then two things would have happened:

1) It would have remained true to its cause, which was to throw out the party-line hacks and return to true fiscal responsbility, end of foreign wars of aggression, end of banker rule, etc.

2) It would have been entirely marginalized, instead of being coopted/hijacked and used to placate angry idiots who had no intention of actually following through on their anger and doing something about it, instead letting someone else fight their battle for them and getting fucked in the ass once more, like typically lazy, stupid Americans, who apparently like taking it in the ass (go long butt-plugs).

It should have been a big flashing neon clue to those who aren't lazy and stupid and like to take it in the ass when Glenn Beck became the Tea Party frontman.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:28 | 1165850 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Turn off the TV and stop getting my brain washed with the embedded messages in shows like Law & Order? How will I learn about dangerous substances, like Cola, or dangerous practises, like not getting my immunisation jabs?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1164997 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

Your TV and food advise is great.  Those were initial changes in lifestyle that were made after my decision to surrender. 


I gave up the fight and realized surrender was a much better option personally.  The animal forces were far greater than any inner strength I could muster, so I surrendered.


What's great about surrender is that now my duty is to escape. 


Comply, comply, comply, then...


Steve McQueen!


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:31 | 1165018 Waterman Jim
Waterman Jim's picture

Big fan here too CD,

I whole heartedly agree and have done the same. 

I have noticed that once I truly relaxed my mind and body I noticed my intuition kick in and the amazingly beauty of synchronicity revealed in my everyday life.

You have no doubt tried meditation, but i suspect you, as I, don't have the time or patience to sit quietly in a dark closet for an hr +. The best type of meditation i have found is one that we can use at all times. It is called dynamic meditation. Used by the native americans, one is in a constant state of heightened awareness. basically it amounts to feeling the "love" or "light" at all times. Like the feeling of cuddling up to your lover and feeling like everything is right in the world. not easy to achieve, cant be feeling angry, spiteful, vindictive, etc.

Heres two books by my favorite author and teacher Tom Brown JR.  He is my hero and a man you would be proud to know.

read this first The Tracker (9780425101339): Tom Brown: Books

then Awakening Spirits (Religion and Spirituality) (9780425141403): Tom Brown: Books

maybe attend a class if your into it.Tom Brown, Jr's Tracker School

good luck,




Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:18 | 1165784 tired1
tired1's picture

'but i suspect you, as I, don't have the time or patience to sit quietly in a dark closet for an hr +'

Over the course of a lifetime that quiet place become's one's refuge and a place where you need to go. Interesting things happen there.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:37 | 1165050 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

You really nailed it with the abusive marriage analogy.  That's pretty much what we have here.   We fellas can better understand the position of a woman who endures such a thing when we see how we fall on that relative scale.

As for the article, I found it a rare piece of insight and humor.   It seems that NotHaus is getting his silver confiscated as we speak.  Just read a Coin World update.  I think that the Feds will have a helluva time rounding up all those Chucky Cheese tokens when the time comes!  

The most important thing to keep in mind here is not the medal/token/coin argument, but the fact that NotHaus was using precious metals.   That is what scared the crap outta the Feds.

I used to take my kids to other kids b'day parties at Chucky's when they were little.   I just couldn't get up the courage to take them on our own family time.   The only saving grace was that they did have cold beer.   The ole light bulb came on when I realized that these things they were slamming into the game machines were common arcade tokens.   I ordered 10 pounds from one of the wholesalers.   Can't remember what they cost at the time (late 80s, early 90s) but it was probably 10% or less of what Chucky himself sold them for on site.   What you get is a long strip of paper tickets that can be traded for toys and crap.   That made for some CHEAP entertainment -- and I got cold beer.  

Tokens now available by the pound still.  eBay has lots and there are other wholesalers still out there.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:59 | 1165150 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I speak often in my essays about abusive spouse syndrome because it describes in a more personal way what we are dealing with rather than the more intellectually obscure Stockholm Syndrome. People get it when I speak about being trapped in an abusive marriage/relationship regardless of their sex. Being kidnapped, then adopting the kidnappers ideology in order to mentally and emotionally survive, is completely foreign to the average Joe so it doesn't resonate.

And spot on about the issue being precious metals. It is seen as more than just an intellectual rebellion. Precious metals are real, in your hand, concrete, a way to focus your intellectual and emotional energy. It is a rallying point for the collective and thus it is an enemy of the state. As I stated in my last essay, truth speakers are dangerous to everyone.

In this case precious metals act as truth speakers regarding the financial control system. This is why they are dangerous to the powers that are. And if adopted by 5% of the population they will become the enemy of the people as well unless they find the inner courage to push back against the machine and adopt an alternative mental outlook.

For those trapped within an abusive relationship (citizens and state) it appears impossible to do. This is why we must continue to speak out. We are the walking talking proof that one can free themselves from the abuse to some extent at least. We are the hope and change that will work wonders precisely because it is coming from within and it's all natural and thus more powerful than any false magicans magic. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:57 | 1165379 Tedster
Tedster's picture

Have been following this Notahouse guy and story for a while.

One unsubstantiated claim is that he also was trying to open a weed church somewheres, that would explain a lot.

However from the git go, it looks to me the real problem was that the coins
had a face value - and at the time, about double the "melt" value of the coin, and that value was expressed in dollars, and looked "authentic" enough to (perhaps) confuse some as to whether they are an US mint issued coin. See where I'm going with that?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:07 | 1165408 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

There is no doubt that this person made some serious mistakes. No doubt. And those mistakes gave the government the perfect excuse it needed to stomp him down.

But they are making an example out of him for a bigger purpose, to stifle dissent and dissuade those who wish to create an alternative currency barter system from even trying. And to warn those who would use that alternative system to stay away.

The king has decreed that all commerce must be transacted in the sovereign currency of the king. Woe to you if you decide this is not in your best interest. The government is making sure you understand that the consequences of doing so will be even worse than you experience (for now) using the kings coin.  

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:38 | 1165588 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

More curious is the fact that all this was run by Justice and other pertinent gov't entities -- and his endeavor was cleared!   They reneged on the deal -- bastards.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:04 | 1165714 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Maybe he was deliberately set up to be made an example of. Or maybe it wasn't perceived as a threat when it was approved. Either way, it just goes to show that 'law' and 'rules' are a flexible concept determined by those who stand to benefit from the flexibility.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 15:16 | 1166355 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

I'll post this in the future, but you saw it here first:

Imagine it's 1932 and there are two men walking down Main Street, Anytown, USA.   One has six gold double eagles in his pocket and the other has a pint of good whisky in his hip pocket.   One of these is going to be arrested for breaking the law.   The fella with the sippin' whisky, of course.    Now imagine the same two guys, same scenario, except that it's 1934.   Which one gets arrested?   The one with  one too many ounces of gold.  The fella with the whisky walks free.   So, laws don't mean anything really -- unless you get caught.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:34 | 1165878 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Let's put it this way: If you are dealing in an alternative "currency," you can't be pushed into e-banking and e-transactions, both of which are infinitely more traceable and therefore taxable.  The game plan is to keep you on the dollar and to push you increasingly into direct deposit and debit cards by making cash as unattractive as possible.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:40 | 1166237 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I am 95+% cash.  It's hard to be 100% cash because I still deal with "professionals" who are beholden to the IRS and such, and I still need a way to cash checks.

If you start now you will have a much better chance to remaining "off grid" when they pull paper fiat and go all digital.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:13 | 1166083 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

North Carolina (where the Nothaus trial is/was held) is an open-carry state:

I wonder if we might round up a few good men and women to go stand in front of the Federal courthouse in Statesville with some assult rifles and sidearms, to exercise their right to bear arms?

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:40 | 1166240 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Won't happen. Many of the open carry advocates are not willing to walk the talk.

I've spoken before here on ZH about my efforts to exercise my right to open carry where I live. I'm still regularly hassled by the police. And I still walk the talk simply because if I don't exercise my rights they will soon be considered privileges. Use them or lose them.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:22 | 1164782 malikai
malikai's picture

So what are we going to do about it? Remain in a miserable and abusive marriage simply because we are too cowardly to make the painful changes needed or will we divorce the bastard? Here we are deciding on a daily basis that the incrementally greater pain of remaining in the abusive relationship is still better than the blown out of proportion projected pain of divorce.

Yea that sounds about right. Until food riots come to the USA and Europe, the guillotines will remain empty and we'll continue our shameful existence. We'll need the extremes of another Napolean before we can listen to another Robespierre and then Talleyrand.

In short, we have it good, even though we don't believe we do. We'll /know/ when we have it bad.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1164938 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

I have lived my life as talleyrand as my role model.

It didnt matter which government took over. He was nimble and quick and could switch sides with ease and maintained his power and influence.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 14:15 | 1166094 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

In other words, you're a person with no integrity.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 16:16 | 1166602 malikai
malikai's picture

Not necessarily. Talleyrand's principle achievement in life was the destruction of Napolean and his conquests. When stuck in a den of vipers, one must be a snake. When his time to strike came, he did. Because he did this, he finished the empire fantasy of Napolean and taught the french the valuable lesson that senseless conquest is foolish. We will get our lesson too.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 13:35 | 1165888 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

It is kind of pointless to talk about Guillotines ... the American public ... nay the public in the Western world at large have been turned into such p*ssies that the worst a member of the criminal elite can expect is the equivalent of the Monty Python Spanish Inquisition. Comfy chair, anyone?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:13 | 1164754 CB
CB's picture

This is Onion-worthy

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:17 | 1164761 long juan silver
long juan silver's picture

100 fucking people die every day on/near the US/Mexico border as a course of the importation of coke and pot into the US and this what the authorities focus on? I say the leadership of this country are pussies. If they don't like it, they know where I live.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:20 | 1164772 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

What's worse is they die by guns sold to the enemy by the US Treason department.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:21 | 1164779 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yes the govt arms dealers arm the drug cartels and then Hillary and Napolitano put the blame on american gun owners as the problem.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:31 | 1164818 CH1
CH1's picture

And Joe Corporate doesn't want to know.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:22 | 1164768 petaloka
petaloka's picture

But it's okay for Chase to give out bonus points redeemable for airline tickets, etc.? A parody perhaps but for how long?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:33 | 1164826 CH1
CH1's picture

So long as the US government exists, Chase can do whatever it wants.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:20 | 1164773 Mach1513
Mach1513's picture

Watch out, Max.

They're comin'to get ya.

Renditioned from Dublin!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:21 | 1164775 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The thing about The Onion and parody is that the reality is actually far worse.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:25 | 1164784 knukles
knukles's picture

We have passed, gone way the fuck past the tipping point.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:24 | 1164787 Agent P
Agent P's picture

If Chuck E. Cheese tokens are counterfeit for the purpose of creating sound money to protect against inflation , then something isn't working...just visit their prize counter to see what I mean.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:30 | 1164810 knukles
knukles's picture

There's a gubamint prize counter!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:28 | 1164788 anynonmous
anynonmous's picture
Chuck E. Cheese shooting victim refusing to cooperate with Springfield police


Fight breaks out at St. Louis Chuck E. Cheese's


Alleged Gang Shooting Outside Chuck E. Cheese


Chuck E. Cheese Shooting in Sugarland

Man Dies After Chuck E. Cheese Shooting

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:26 | 1164789 Dental Floss Tycoon
Dental Floss Tycoon's picture

Today's comedy. . . .tomorrow's Bazarro World reality.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:26 | 1164794 HedgeFundLIVE
HedgeFundLIVE's picture

yesterday was just the beginning of the correction upon us!:

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:25 | 1164802 Dexter Morgan
Dexter Morgan's picture

How come I can do a search on google and find no articles about this?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:42 | 1165070 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Zero Hedge always leads the pack!   This will be mainstream overnight.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:25 | 1165214 knukles
knukles's picture

Because it's satire.
That's exactly why I stated above that we're way the fuck past the tipping point.
Mayhaps Agent Himmler might have been the dead give away?

This is pretty fucking far from being just OK.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:32 | 1165271 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

You take all the fun out of spoofin' these internet luminaries.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:25 | 1164803 Ponziconomy
Ponziconomy's picture

They oughta chuck these morons into the urine-soaked ball pit.  Hey DHS, nut up or shut up!  Go after the dark suits making poker chips in Vegas. Or, eh, is that a different avenue for money laundering your department doesn't cover?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:27 | 1164804 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

To pick on Chucke E Cheese is asking for a revolution.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:42 | 1165078 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Nuh-uh.  They gotta train these kids at this tender age not to buck the system.

This could be catastrophic if the kids think they can undermine our coinage.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:27 | 1164809 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Laughing at the state does infinitely more than violence. Bravo!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:33 | 1164819 jimijon
jimijon's picture

Well I still am selling my rounds at a discount to anyone who references ZH.


$44.00 for this community.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:51 | 1165354 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

solly, cholly, i wldn't trade you straight across for any US Mint-produced coins, silver weight for silver weight, much less pay 1 $3.50/oz premium for yer shit when i can buy nice real US MONEY at 2 places w/in walking distance of here for a bit more than $1 over melt/ozt.

i'm sure yer slugs have pretty pictures of statues, animals, peoples, and some may even be stamped and produced by reputable private mints, so we would stipulate that those which do are real .9999 silver, which, given the prevalence and artistry of the counterfeiters working today, esp outa asia (sorry, if i'm wrong, i'll apologize, to "asians" ok?  gladly!), would be a stretch, too, eh?

that said, good for you!  keep on truckin, bro/sis!  and, good luck playing in the ebay sandbox, too! 

you're not doin anything wrong, even tho i would feel a bit sorry for any Z's who took you up un yer offer and prob had to throw in the postage, too.  but, we learn from our mistakes, even on zH.  and, yer "customers" would have some (hopefully real) silver bullion, too.  but, they'd be better off just buying US Mint products.  old silver dollars are a little more expensive.  they'd be right up there with yer stuff!

don't taze me, bro!  you know slewie knows.  lol!  you're not selling any of yer US Mint-produced coins here, are you?  people may accept silver rounds like money, at least till the counterfeiters flood the markets.  @ $44/oz, good alloys are worth their weight in silver!  people can't get silver eagles right now unless they are ablt to think and understand Silver Reality.  so, "rounds" are huge!

but, with unlimited weight available in US 90% silver coins right now, neither i nor at least a few others here could care about rounds.

that said, i'm gonna try to trade $1 face roosie dimes for 6-7 of vonNuthaus' 1/10 oz silver "Liberties" when it stops raining, and poisoning shit, here, with fuk_u truisms.  these are brilliant strikes, individually encased in archival lok rings, and, given current events, cool as the drool on an eskimo's tool, for me.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:33 | 1164828 skohiu
skohiu's picture

I seriously thought this was from The Onion......

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:36 | 1164831 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Orwell's 1984 and Animal Farm were also parodys, right. Or do I have my genres confused. Anyway, there is a carwash in my neighborhood that I would like to report. Those tokens look suspiciously like quarters.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:44 | 1165086 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Many city bus systems and subways will also be shut down!

It's about time they went after these scofflaws.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:39 | 1164836 jimijon
jimijon's picture

I just bought a Liberty Round on EBay. For my personal collection. Set me back 60 benny bucks. Though I don't care. It does look nice and will be part of my numismatic collection of early 21st Century American Independent Rounds.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:44 | 1164846 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Liesman = Skee Ball CHEAT!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:43 | 1164851 gabeh73
gabeh73's picture

I am surprised that so many don't realize this is parody...but Anne Thompkins is REAL and she said similar shit in the Liberty Dollar case to what is in this parody. She is a big time government lawyer in North Carolina. Post her information here please.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:47 | 1164859 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

This story is just a few days late... should have brought it out on the 1st :)


Don't forget Dave and Busters.... THEIR BUSTED!


Great story, good points!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:52 | 1164872 Drag Racer
Drag Racer's picture

this is really going to reak havoc on the prepaid and gift card biz

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:45 | 1165092 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

No way.   Gift cards look like credit cards, not coins or paper money.

Key word being credit.  Debt is a feature, not a bug.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:54 | 1164881 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

The sheer chutzpah of Ben. Putting his image on these counterfeit coins.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 09:55 | 1164882 samsara
samsara's picture

Art imitates Terrorism  ??

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:02 | 1164898 Tail Dogging The Wag
Tail Dogging The Wag's picture

"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered..."
—Thomas Jefferson

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1164925 InconvenientCou...
InconvenientCounterParty's picture

end the fed. It's become an unelected 4th branch of Gov't. General strike will have it done in a month or less.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 10:50 | 1165102 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Romney just fell off my wish list last night.  Kudlow interviewed him and Mitt says he thinks The Bernank is doing a great job and he would not change the present situation.   Larry is not very enamored with Benny since he thinks that "King Dollar" is being trashed by Gentle Ben.  Kudlow just couldn't get a rise outta Mitt over the dollar.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:14 | 1165203 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

Americans do not have the balls to go against the Government , for example I bet 90% of the people on ZH still pay taxes , because they are to scared not to.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:34 | 1165279 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

It's not fear.  It's a recognition that one cannot help with the revolution if one is destitute (assets confiscated by IRS) or in  jail.   Gotta stay in the game until the right time to go all in.

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