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Guest Post: The Federal Reserve's VISA Card Statement
Submitted by Charles Hugh Smith from Of Two Minds
The Federal Reserve's VISA Card Statement
The Federal Reserve's VISA credit card account offers a rare glimpse into the inner workings of the secretive Fed.
This leaked transcript of the Federal Reserve's VISA credit card account provides a treasure-trove of insight into the Fed's recent actions. Nothing reveals a person or institution quite so indelicately as a list of credit purchases.
Federal Reserve
20th St. and Constitution Ave. NW
Washington, DC, 20551
VISA Credit Card Statement
Global Empire account
Minimum Payment Warning: If you make only the minimum payment each period, you will pay more interest and it will take you longer to pay off your balance.
VISA CARD POINTS SUMMARY
Previous points balance: 1,200,010,000,000
Points earned on Central Planning/Intervention in Capital Markets: 1,200,000,000,000
Points earned on entertainment and everyday purchases: 10,000,000
Choose from travel, gift certificates, magazine subscriptions and Global Empire perquisites. To redeem your points, go to VISA.com/global.empire.accounts/.
PURCHASES
10/30/10 JEKYLL ISLAND LODGE (Luxury suites)
$24,000.00
10/30/10 HOLLOWEEN SPECIALTIES INC.
("Frightful Economists" package of masks: Friedman, Marx, Ricardo and Keynes)
$120.00
10/30/10 TED's WOOD SUPPLY (one cordwood bonfire plus starter)
$500.00
10/30/10 HOUSE OF EFFIGIES (one effigy of Ron Paul, flammable model)
$900.00
11/5/10 U.S. TREASURY
(U.S. bonds, Mixed selection of maturities, POMO-ready package)
$600,000,000,000.98
11/7/10 FANNIE MAE
(Junior tranches of defaulted mortgages, priced at nominal value)
$200,000,000,000.00
11/7/10 CAPITAL PHARMACY (12 prescriptions of Hopium)
$179.31
11/8/10 DEPAUL HOSPITAL
(Emergency room services, treatment of Hopium overdose)
$1,888.17
11/9/10 HOUSE OF VOODOO
(one Ron Paul doll, 13 voodoo pins and book of incantations)
$39.95
11/10/10 ORACLE BONES DIVINATION SERVICE
(one consultation on the global economy)
$600.00
11/12/10 SWINDLE, BOOZ AND SYCOPHANT, PUBLIC RELATIONS
(one "Blame China" global media package)
$1,175,000.00
11/12/10 K STREET SERVICES, LLC
(lease of 125 members of Congress, with option to purchase)
$4,250,000.00
11/13/10 CONFLICT RESOLUTION COUNSELING, INC
(Irreconcilable Differences package, for groups of 12 or less)
$6,000.00
11/15/10 NEW DAWN PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES
(continuing treatment of severe Napoleonic Complex, disassociation from financial realities syndrome and chronic stress)
$12,000.00
11/16/10 AMAZON, INC.
--Reinventing Collapse: The Soviet Example and American Prospects
--Central Planning for Dummies (The Lenin Institute)
--Coup d'État: A Practical Handbook
-- The (Mis)behavior of Markets
--Obedience to Authority: An Experimental View
--Propaganda
--Buying Fortified Caribbean Enclaves (Elites Survival Press)
$160.00
11/16/10 UNIVERSITY OF ORLANDO (Disneyland campus)
(PhD in Economics, 3-month online program)
$36,000.00
11/17/10 CARIBBEAN ISLAND PROPERITES (Cayman islands)
(Private island with secure compound, communications and hardened bunker)
$18,000,000.00
11/18/10 TEDDY BEARS ONLINE
(12 supersoft "I need a hug" toy bears, made in China)
$260.00
»
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What's the minimum monthly repayment?
Doesn't matter. MMP just added automagically to next months bill, Ad infinitum...
they use a "don't ask don't tell, don't tell when asked" (even if it is Ron Paul) policy.
You get the point and you get the bill. Priceless......
More importantly. I don't see the Late Fee.
Redeem those points for cushy jobs in the "private" sector working directly under your bankster masters.
revolving credit bitchezzz!
(couldn't help it!)
Hey! Darn it. You stole my new avatar idea.
Back to the drawing board.
Pretty rich tastes! If it wasn't so horrible I might laugh more :-(
Where is the Viagra necessary for screwing the American People?
I think the smell of freshly printed money serves as an aphrodisiac.
I love the smell of freshly printed money in the morning. It reminds me of Victory!
And the rhythmic beat of those helicopter blades turning while dollars drop from the sky.
....down the next aisle across from TurboTax 2011.
first they have to grow their economies 4 more inches
How about K-Y? Or is the whole idea now that we are are supposed to feel the pain?
I was thinking as I read this that the only thing missing were some Billy graphics.
Nice.
Charles Ponzi starts looking like our president... coincidence?
I've never posted to ZH before. I figured 'why screw up a good thing'.
I adore this site however and have been an avid follower for about a year. My area of 'expertise' is definitely not finance. If I have an area of expertise, it would be in cultural 'memes'. ZH hits the sweet spot. I scan dozens of sites daily and ZH is the only site that offers a comment thread that is in many cases superiour to the post itself. What a fucking brilliant community!
Actual debate, imagine that or go to ZH and save imagining for the next time you vote.
I loved this cute little link.
http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/11/24/democrats-and-republicans-quit-t...
It's the dog and pony show. You can vote for the pugs or the pits.
PHD = Perpetually Heaping Debt
nice :)))))))))))))
UNIVERSITY OF ORLANDO (Disneyland campus)
(PhD in Economics, 3-month online program)
I think they start each class with the chorus from Pirates of the Carribean.
Or Tim Curry's A Professional Pirate (which is also played at the end of Wall St firm recruiting interviews)
300,000,000 indentured servants....priceless.
The problem is they do not have to pay for their Expenditures. The American People get the Bill. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a Credit Card that every Expenditure we made someone else had to pay for it.
And if you do not pay for their play they sick the IRS on you, take all of your property and throw you in Jail.
Sad but true...
Robo - V is jumping on this news!
I find it funny how the wikipedia on Bernanke says "Bernanke and his wife own one car, a Ford Focus". I guess he's a regular guy just like us...
I also remember having seen that Bernanke proclaimed having a mortgage on his house, like the regular guy. This is so funny. Even funnier, some people actually believe that. Even if he may have one, in the official papers, they don't count his secondary residences.
Ben not only mortgaged his house, he's mortgaged everyone's
Not only that, but in last year's TIME "Man of the Year" piece it said The Bernank had an adjustable-rate mortgage. The article went on to say The Bernank had to re-finance after the ARM reset.
Nothing strange here, of course, but I wondered if The Bernank anticipated the reset or just waited for the larger bill before doing something.
I also read that Geithner bought a New York home at the peak of the housing market, maybe even as it was declining, got a new job in Washington and could not find a buyer for the home. Go figure??
Where are the Data Plan Charges?
You know they are dreading Ben's call where he pretends to want to cancel the card in order to get the yearly fee waived (again).
On CNBC now: "has Wall St got its swagger back?"
"yes, and main st. too" answer guests.
Fed's VISA bill seems to work.
Fucktards
Hookers?
Blow?
KY?
Midget/Donkey rental?
Trannies?
SOP those charges go on the SEC Discover card.
vibrators, you forgot massive amounts of batteries and electricity for the really good ones and fast ones.
Always "the" vibrator, never "your" vibrator.
Well...per the "honor among thieves" code of ethics, that falls within the SEC's franchise.
That is one helleva markup from cost on the Bear made in China... lol
They disputed the Bears charge and got it moved to the Maiden Lane I account.
Reason for change on Maiden Lane statement; "Shits and Grins"
Those who take solace in the Feds implied and constant fear of Ron Paul. You should see the interview of Taibbi at Alternet. Taibbi points out that Greenspan sat at the feet of the great Ayn Rand, and she had great admiration for him as a student, until she saw what he was doing. Apparently he perverted her ideology (go figure) to suit his own (self serving and ambitious purposes), and she disowned him. Makes you wonder if the neophyte would do the same thing ("pull an Obama on us, you want change, I got your change hanging.."
Heres the voters handbook for 2012
1. Everybody Lies
2. If you don't believe what I am saying, see number 1.
Which is true? Rule 1 or rule 2? Cretans paradox anyone?
I have come to realize that Zerohedge equals ZERO MONEY. All the NOISE in this blog will make you ZERO dollars really.
Talk about the US Dollar crashing, where is it now?
Talk about AAPL and Tech bubble? How high are these stocks today?
Talk about the end for the banks? Like this country will run without them. Zerohedge is naive.
Talk about Disney and Net Apps crashing right after announcing? Look at them now.
Bottom line, thanks for the effort to point the economic issues we face. But these issues DO NOT translate into a wipe out of Western Societies economic system.
Western Corporate innovations are just too strong and the world development depends heavily on it. Who will replace them? BRIC companies....not in our living years.
Yes, the market will correct....doesn't it always? It's natural.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Good troll, I've spared a laugh.
read your drivel on the last topic, no need repeating yourself here
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" said in 1932 - so you're saying we'll be out of the woods in 13 years? We just need to get through this pesky greater depression, and another world war first, right?
There are so many contradictions in your post, I don't know where to begin.
"the only thing we have to fear is itself"...and ignorance is bliss
hypocrisy is not a virtue
or more suitably, "ignorance is pissed" as one ZH'er put it
Lloyd, is that you?
Riiiiight, because casino...uhhh I mean MAJOR stock market crashes are so uncommon, happening once every three years or so in the last decade+, and because these are not the most artificially supported and incredibly rigged (HFT, Dark Pools, Front Running, etc.) markets ever...
Irvin Fischer, is that you? Or Abby Joseph Cohen? Jim Cramer and his 99.7% loss on his winners of the new world? Donald Luskin? Wait, I know...you're Jim Glassman.
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Famous last words of suckers, imbeciles or con men.
Obvious troll is obvious.
I didn't see a donation to Zero Hedge listed there. Maybe it will be in Tyler's stocking.
You forgot to include the outsized Tiffany diamond rings purchased for Mr. Bernanke's mistress...
robo buy RAW diamonds, way more sexy.
they just cut the shit out of a beautiful stone diamond. no clarity really. diamonds don't look like that.
just cause tiffany's earning are up only means more men are having extramarital affairs and fucking whores...... so they buy wifey diamonds as guilt purchases and giving.
I like Tiffany stuff...girls dig it too which makes it one of those zero-thought gift strategies.
I see...so if my wife really wants a nice diamond ring she needs to convince me to get a mistress......I like that.
most white married woman with kids want you to have a mistress. only if the sex is good between husband and wifey, he probably won't go sniffing outside. i know this to be true,
let me, tell you.
a lot of woman aren't interested in sexxx. cause they just aren't into themselves physically, is why. even the really fit chicks that work out like animals, don't enjoy it, just fake it to get pregnant.
We're crushed.
I consider this good news. Now, if a female squirts, it's more probable that she's not faking (can never rule out faking). Now let's work on making them squirt.
Good to know some of my tax dollars are spilling into Tiffany's! Think I'll get a discount there?
Tyler,
I'm not exactly sure why you haven't covered this story yet. Are you afraid of your power?
It seems like it would be the perfect end to a movie...
http://www.optionsninja.com/2010/11/23/everybody-complains-about-the-ban...
Current market valuations may reflect anomalous events, but are not completely discounted by the Fed's wealth creation model. Continued evaluation of model parameters will be performed and adjustments may be warranted as additional natural experiment data become available for analysis. While the majority of natural experiment participants are responding to market indicators favorably, some participants are reluctant to exhibit appropriate responses and may need further inducements.
Everything is proceeding as planned.
It'll all work out! Ben's hiring Annette Bongiorno to keep track of it all (Bernie's ex-secretary)
$500 for a cord of firewood? Dudes are getting ripped!
It's cheaper then burning bundles of $100's...at least at this time.
tyler, very funny piece. i liked it and sorta unusual for you. i just had a very bad run in with a horrible Applied Bank Visa Credit card. i filed a complaint against them with the FTA. read a bunch of complaints that got online. damn my supposed senior staffer at Applied Bank, Darlene, was mentioned several times in these archived submitted complaints, by other unhappy customers of this shit Bank. No one use Applied Bank Visa Card. i told them i meant call the FBI or my local law enforcement and tell them they stole my $5000. now my account is closed and they won't give me back my $5000. what pieces of shit these banking institutions are. and they hire these dumb fucks' black woman to handle us. oh they have a policy if you swear at them they hang up on you. bother what is this industry cunting to.
Velobabe, you're back! I've so so missed your oh-so-saucy, mysterio cheerio comments. Velobabe: a vagina, wrapped in fallopian tubes and shrouded in estrogen.
Apparently, last weekends upgrade has re-incarnated the account...
Kathy has left the building...
mr masters, i don't think i have any of those left or still working. i am old. done my time but estrogen and tubes. G O N E†
What? No gentlemen club expenses this month? Eghads.
Tiifany's stuff is beautiful but so expensive. Paying for that status. I bought an incredibly beautiful .75 carat princess cut engagement ring in 2006 for $700 from Zales.
The People's Revolutionary Taskforce, were on the way to Jekyll Island that week in particular. The goal was to disrupt the activities of our little buddies. But our people were stopped at the Causeway Bridge by the cops. Our operatives were dressed like Mexicans and driving a old truck full of lawn mowing equipment. Inside of the secret compartments in the 1964 Ford truck were custard cream pies to hit gentle ben with in the face, rotten eggs to throw at timmie and tomatoes to throw at the other guest at this wonderful event, celebrating the downfall of the United States. The People's Revolutionary Taskforce had a inside man, that our operatives were in contact with. He was a Orthodox Rebbe, who hates the zionist. Needless to say, some of the homeland insecurity people saw him talking on his cell phone and his phone was confiscated and his text messages to our men, were found on his phone and he was beaten and roughed up a bit, and told to leave most haste. I think he got pissed off and drove back to Flatbush. We have been tweeting him but so far no answer to our pleas. All in all, our operation was totally stopped and for this we are very sorry.
Why I never...... hrmph.
Don't forget the $2,500,000.00 spent to investigate, analyze and determine the identity of Tyler Durden's avatar.
and who is getting the free miles with all the points?
They also left off 'watersports' and 'obedience training,' those sick fuckers.
C'mon, we all know that these people just have to be some of the sickest, most twisted and perverted fuckers on the planet.
Shit I love that pic. I use that handle on a number of sites. Yours truly, Ron.
At least there are no 30 inch double headed dildos. The idea of going ass to ass with bankers is somehow more disturbing than just being gang raped by them.
?
You gotta be kidding me. Loved it!
Giving credit to the fine arts of bullshit and brute force.
http://thecivillibertarian.blogspot.com/
POMO! Part of a complete breakfast. (never could figger out what the h*ll a complete breakfast was...)
http://www.daf.fm/video/jean-claude-trichet-bernanke-ein-mann-mit-hohem-niveau-50139897-EU0009658145.html
Blasphemy !!! Bernanke's niveau is way too high for ya mortals
ZH has officially jumped the shark
I love the line item for US Treasury:
I WANT MY 6 BILLION DOLLARS BACK, AND NINETY-EIGHT CENTS!
.....hee hee hee all the way home!
To prove the Rothschild hand is behind finance...
Governments borrow money from PRIVATE BANKS - AT INTEREST!
PRIVATE BANKS create money from "thin air" ADDING INTEREST. (When governments could "print" and spend the money into existance at NO INTEREST.)
PRIVATE BANKS use government bonds fot collateral in their FRACTIONAL RESERVE SYSTEM creating more money from "THIN AIR" - lent to suckers AT INTEREST. So who needs savers?
Meanwhile the snake starts eating it's own tail, trying to keep the Ponzi going a bit longer, tax payerspicking up the tab through tax interest and inflation, the rest is just smoke and mirrors.
These quotes suddenly mean a whole lot...
“Give me control of a nations money and I care not who writes its laws” - Amschel Bauer (Rothschild)
“If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and the corporations which grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their father conquered.” - Thomas Jefferson
War is a way of shattering to pieces, or pouring into the stratosphere, or sinking in the depths of the sea, materials which might otherwise be used to make the masses too comfortable, and hence, in the long run, too intelligent. - George Orwell.
Priceless! - as the advert goes.