Guest Post: How To Fake An Economic Recovery

Tyler Durden's picture

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Turd Ferguson's picture

"I want you to sit back, and imagine that you are a member of the corporate banking elite. You are a walking talking disease ridden power mad pustule who naively believes himself intellectually superior to the vast majority of humanity and above the inherent laws of conscience, honor, and general good taste. You are a villain in the purest sense, in that you not only do great harm to the world, you actually SEEK to do great harm to the world, if only to benefit yourself and your exclusive circle of “friends”; a clan of degenerate blood thirsty sociopaths with delusions of omnipotence that stalk the night like Armani wearing Chupacabra exsanguinating the joy from poor unsuspecting cultures. You are capable of anything, and sadly, you take “pride” in this fact…"

This is all I've read so far and I love it so much I had to stop to C&P and highlight.

Great stuff. I'm going to read the rest.

HUGE_Gamma's picture

you just wanted to have the first reply on the page

Turd Ferguson's picture

Why? Is there some kind of prize involved?

tmosley's picture

That was it.

Sorry, there's a recession on, you know.  Next month, the prize will surely be a trip for four to Aruba, if President Obama's predictions about the recovery over the next two years prove true.  Surely they will, as he and his economic team have never been wrong before!

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

tmosley dude you are so under-rated on this site IMHO.  You make me laugh so freaking hard sometimes.  I don't know what it is about your smartass humor but I find it hilarious.  Thanks and keep it up!

Cleve Meater's picture

A date with Blythe at a seedy hotel across the river in Newark... Bring the heavy-duty condoms, or better yet, a bicycle inner-tube.

Wynn's picture

OT - Matt Taibbi is on Imus right now. good stuff

Pegasus Muse's picture

This article by Harry Martin complements Bruno's article nicely:  

The Federal Reserve Bunk 

Twindrives's picture

Turd, I'd swear you were talking about that POS Barack Obama.

hambone's picture

Speaking of Big O -

Banking on growth, not cuts
In his new budget plan, President Obama is hoping that a strong economy will erase much of the deficit, but some experts say he's being too optimistic.

good stuff - MW is full of great hard hitting "journalism"

william the bastard's picture


The President should be leading now. He should be deeply involved in the spending-reform efforts the way governors are in New York, Wisconsin, New Jersey, Indiana and elsewhere. Instead his adminstration's budget is filled with dodges, scoring gimmicks and unrealistic assumptions. With economic future at risk, that's an outrage.

-David Malpass (WSJ Opinion page 2/16/2011)

bonddude's picture

one way to fake a recovery is to have the FDIC

sweep shit under the rug especially these damn

IndyMac facts that won't die and the total 

systemic effect of rampant bank fraud.Bernie is correct insofar as there was lax, rubber stamp FDIC audits. IndyMac is a prime case and the FDIC prefer that story go away. IndyMac's failure revealed and started a domino effect in California that saw many banks fail. One fraudulent developer, Bijan Madjlessi, who was written about in a Santa Rosa Press Democrat expose' is reported to be directly responsible for the failure of several California banks in an amount estimated so far at $400 Million. He has failed developments in Cal and Nevada and many lawsuits in Sonoma County including a class action suit against him. The FDIC audits missed all of the STRAW borrowing and buying this man orchestrated. Not only that he screwed over his contractors with the help of dirty bankers thusly. Watch the whole fun series.

bonddude's picture

There are local bankers who knew poor

sub-contractors credit lines were 1.Set up based

on coersion for amounts in excess of their

knowledge and then emptied by this crook

and his "Bank". Jail is TOO GOOD !

Hello? FDIC???????

goldfish1's picture

Typical gubmint non-accountablility

and outright dereliction of duty. Yet

the paychecks, benefits and pensions

keep coming.

MachoMan's picture

Not sure if you've been associated with an FDIC audit, but the primary feet on the ground are likely kids fresh out of undergrad with an accounting degree.  If you think they are going to find anything buried halfway to China by using a garden spade, you're sorely mistaken.  However, given the mandate to find something wrong, they will undoubtedly harp on something completely immaterial...  which may or may not be enough to destroy the bank given the lack of judicial oversight/appealability of administrative issues...

It may be perfectly fair to allege rubber stamping of audits, I have no idea...  but, generally speaking, incompetence can also account for much of the issue.

orangedrinkandchips's picture


yes, it is just like a bit, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the rest of it.

I wish he were making it up. I wish he were the only one thinking this....

however, with the advent of the net and better communications, rapid-fire communications, we are all sitting back and singing..."ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER..." shit we learned in Sesame Street

The markets too, the indexes especially, show so much desperation to keep them up. So much so that they are worried about 1 down day.

2 points he made that are inexplicable.

1.) why are they still ZIRP and QE2 when "all is good"??? (shake your head and say yes!!!!)
2.) Donald Trump is broke. The author is just NOW beginning to think he is all smoke and mirrors? Living off of loans?
he is all smoke and mirrors...

great article...sad but so true.

jus_lite_reading's picture

Amazingly, most of these comments carry more validity than those fat pundits on CNBS talking up the economy.

GreenSideUp's picture


I love ZH for the comments, even with the "noise", there's a wealth of info, insight and intelligence, and best of all, the humor (!!!) from so many of the commenters here.  I've learned and laughed a LOT.  

Oracle of Kypseli's picture

I enjoyed the creativity of ".....Chupacabra exsanguinating....." just as good as an earlier post using "Chingada Madre"

hambone's picture

Fake an economic recovery???  We're faking we have an economy...period.

rosiescenario's picture

A+....and a fake and for the people (those residing in NYC engaged in finance).

velobabe's picture

like woman faking an orgasm. i have. plenty of times. but i didn't believe i was fraud, just making the man feel good about the deed†

SteveNYC's picture

F*ckin hilarious! Your heart of compassion is something to behold!



StychoKiller's picture

Your concern is appreciated, but next time, jump on top of that worm and push it all the way down to the other side of the mattress!

jus_lite_reading's picture

+$14 TRILLION and a side of M.A.D.

The Real Fake Economy's picture

as my name would suggest, yes I do agree

cougar_w's picture

I got this far:

"I want you to sit back, and imagine that you are a member of the corporate banking elite...

... and went "Do I have to?"

I did finished the article though.

GoinFawr's picture

It's an exercise in 'know your enemy' Coug. Sometimes you just have to hold your nose and wade in...

tictawk's picture

I got lost in this article.  Does not make sense, why?  DEBT is borrowing from the future.  It is wealth we DO NOT HAVE.   "wealth destruction"  happens with a DROP IN NOMINAL VALUES of an asset and "HYPERINFLATION" is a RISE in nominal values of assets because the value of the medium of exchange is destroyed.  We have hundreds of trillions in debt (money we don't have) and the Fed has printed two trillion in the last two years.  Does this result in hyperinflation?  NOT!!!

c-rev with a twist's picture

Valid points.  But what do every single deflation in history have to do with hyperinflations?  One always preceeds the other. 

Sathington Willougby's picture



¡Tenga cuidado con Chupacabra!




cossack55's picture

Great post.  I feel a little unsavory right now, need to go shower.  I'm pretty convinced that most amerikans will sit back and get ready to beg on their knees.  We have already fallen, the corpse just has not hit the floor yet.

Michael's picture

The filthy animals at FOX News are on notice. Their coverage of the CPAC Winner, Dr Ron Paul is documented character assassination.
This dirty trick is a new low for FOX News. This blatant attempt to smear Dr. Paul was deliberate.

1. Law .
a. defamation by written or printed words, pictures, or in any form other than by spoken words or gestures.
b. the act or crime of publishing it.
2. anything that is defamatory or that maliciously or damagingly misrepresents.

1. defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
2. a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
3. Law . defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.
–verb (used with object)
4. to utter slander against; defame.
–verb (used without object)
5. to utter or circulate slander

FAUX should lose their broadcast license as this is a clear violation! Ron Paul is lawyering up on this one. At the very least FAUX should be forced to make a public apology to Dr. Paul, his supporters and CPAC. The individual(s) who actually pulled the trick should be exposed and fired! and then criminally charged! Bastards!

Fox News Ron Paul CPAC Lies Exposed

From the original FOX announcement of CPAC Winner, notice the same announcer from 2010 is not wearing a lanyard around his neck in the 2011 announcement.

Busted:Fox News CPAC Ron Paul Video Deception

I am not going to let those filthy animals at FOX News get away with this blatant character assignation of the good Doctor. They will pay for their libel and slander. People over there will be fired and the fines will be huge. Dr Paul may even wind up owning that network.

razorthin's picture

Saw Charles Krauthammer on O'Reilly last night.  I want to kick the snot out of him too.  I like Bill, but shame on him for agreeing that Dr. Paul cannot win. "Fair and Balanced", my ass; "The Spin Stops Here", my ass's ass.

Michael's picture

I didn't see any report on any other channel about this issue this morning. I believe they are all in it together to marginalize Ron Paul.

Rasmussen Poll was out and the cretins on FOX dismissed it as not being relevant.

SHOCK POLL: 2012 Presidential Election Match-Up

Barack Obama 42%
Ron Paul 41%

goldfish1's picture

In case you missed it, Huffpo now owned by AOL.

rosiescenario's picture the right question would be "Is it up?"

blindfaith's picture

to all the above comments, I offer one simple answer...Rube rt Murcock-of.  Do you still think the WSJ is as good as it was a short few years ago?  I don't.

Propaganda and idea/truth manipulation are hall marks of a narcissus.

Put your money where you mouth is...stop watching them.  Better still stop buying the products that sponsor the spewthey broadcast ( I haven't watched cnbc for 10 years, and if GE made postage stamps I'd be walking letters to the addressee).


Egypt, about the only country with guts and discipline.

snowball777's picture

Guts? Maybe. Discipline? Not so much.

razorthin's picture

Take it easy!  I said I like Bill.  I do like Fox generally; and I do like Beck, since he has at least a shread of libertarian sense.

yabyum's picture

Beck needs his meds adjusted.

goldfish1's picture

I said I like Bill. I do like Fox generally; and I do like Beck

Like these slimeball globalist apologists who are complicit in the stealing of our country? Fukk you.

bonddude's picture

He got his talking point from TRUMP! hahaha

Hubbs's picture

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention Trump in my tirade above. He is the cossumate bullshitter! The "Art of the Deal"? my ass! The art of the hype is more like it. Manyof those who have swallowed his bullshit have lost a few bucks over the years.

HellFish's picture

Sorry but Paul can't win.  His ideas on defense are too far from the mainstream. 

Michael's picture

Personally I would prefer a complete and total economic collapse too.

If it wasn't for Dr. Paul, the morons in this country wouldn't have any idea where to begin to understand what is wrong with the national debt and monetary system.

A Texan's picture

"you're all familiar with the broken clock that is right twice a day. ron paul is like a strange broken clock that is right 23 hours a day. then you get to some foreign policy midnight, and in stead of chiming, it barks and smears itself with poo."