Guest Post: Top 10 Keynesian Ways To Boost The US Economy

Tyler Durden's picture

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youALREADYknow's picture

"The buildings and businesses with billions in loans have (and will continue to) experience enormous losses. Who will realize these losses?"

Why the answer is so obvious. The PUBLIC will realize these losses. Thus has been the policy for the last 3 years as private losses are transferred to the public balance sheet.

EscapeKey's picture

That was the entire point behind the construction of the Federal Reserve. Never again did the founding banks have to accept responsibility for poor investments.

And it's brilliant, too, because if they weren't at liberty to simply print, they would have to increase taxation, which even the most docile, x-factor watching, pizza delivery eating J6P would notice. But money printing, leading to inflation? Nah, they'll just spread confusion around, claming the inflation is due to the entirely new concept of snow falling in January.

Azannoth's picture

Hey let's use a Nuke or HAARP to set of

creating a mega-tsunami on the American Atlanic coast, and bask in the 200% GDP surge !

caconhma's picture

ZeroHedge appears to be a propaganda tool.

It is disgusting when ZH readers cannot express their approvals of high quality replies of its readers and participants.

John Law Lives's picture

When will the giant R-E-S-E-T button get pressed?

RingToneDeaf's picture

11. Get rid of this crop of politicians, grow some new ones that serve the people.

Temporalist's picture

You're not just ringtone deaf you're satire/sarcasm oblivious.


How about...

11.  Elect more politicians to spend billions on projects that are ultimately abandoned due to lack of funding.


12. The 44 million on food stamps get cuts of Kobe beef at $40/oz.

FOC 1183's picture

Paging Dr. Krugman

Paul Krugman's picture

I'm here I'm here. What do you need. I can tell Ben to print some money if you would like.

Paul Krugman's picture

Well you know I am really busy convincing the world that $1.6 T deficits are a good thing. Its really hard work. Do you know how many bullshit papers I have to write, and all the acceptance speeches for awards take a long time to write.

FOC 1183's picture

Not to mention that whole "Conscience of a Moron" blog thingy :>

Paul Krugman's picture

Yea but that doesn't take much time. Its just delusional ramblings, and attacking straw men that I conjure up for the purpose of satisfying my own stupidity.

Temporalist's picture

I think Krugman's main problem is his fear of impotence and irrelevance.  He can't handle not having an impact and being ignored because he's such a colossal douche.

EscapeKey's picture

You mean "I can press the red button"?

oogs66's picture

Air force bombing practice?  why not have people on the road?  think of the job creation.  asides from having to replace people who are killed or wounded, hospitals will have to staff up as well.  and the unemployment rate would come down as the workforce is reduced

yeah, yeah, tragic loss of life, but think about the good for the survivors

Pants McPants's picture

Hey WWII solved the unemployment might be on to something here....

greyghost's picture

thanks for the laughs...i needed that!

Mercury's picture

The obvious solution here is to just declare war on ourselves.

By executive fiat of course. Having Congress do it is sooo old fashioned.

Battleaxe's picture

Yeah, the rich could declare war on the working class!

Mercury's picture

Well, there would have to be enough working class left over to do the rebuilding (or replacements could be imported I guess) otherwise the Keynesian magic won't happen.

See, central planning just looks easy.  That's why we should leave it to the experts.

Battleaxe's picture

Yes, import more! (at lower wages of course) And keep the profits in offshore accounts! This sounds good.

EscapeKey's picture

They are way ahead of you.

Battleaxe's picture

Oh, they already have? Well, the working class could declare war on the rich!

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Mercury I think you've got it! Obama-rama-lama-ding-dong could issue an executive order declaring war on small business owners....oh, wait...

....hmmm, maybe in order to get the biggest damage induced keynesian bang for the buck he should specify a war on WHITE small business owners....oh, wait....again.....

Mercury's picture

Right, and out of that rubble rebuild those destroyed goods and services capabilities with government agencies and bureaucrats...

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

As Louie Armstrong might sing (if he were alive today) to Obama et al: 

"...and I think to myself,

what a beautiful progressive keynesian world.....oh, yeah"

francis_sawyer's picture

How about if we T.P. every house in America with rolls & rolls of that toilet paper that looks like dollar bills???

Oh no wait... The Bernank is already onto that one...


Quintus's picture

Ah yes.  The 'Broken Window' fallacy writ large.  Do these people never learn?

EscapeKey's picture

Learn? They profit from the broken windows, so what incentive do they have to "learn"?

Quintus's picture

You make an excellent point.

When we observe intelligent people doing apparently stupid things, we can safely assume that there are incentives prompting this behaviour.

silvertrain's picture

Good call, boost the economy by building more bombs and missles..The only thing we have to do is get rid of the old ones first to create a demand...

disabledvet's picture

Little rascals day...i'm all over that one.  seriously though:  obviously they can't.  "this is an actual crisis."  did they "surprise us with a brilliant insight" in response to 2008?  You tell me. I've been "sensing a blatantly obvious pattern" ever since.  Et tu?

Kina's picture

National House Burning day?

johnQpublic's picture

national death race 3000 day!

at amphetamine speedway speedway speedway!

where you'll see drug addled drivers racing racing racing!

and crashing crashing crashing!



oh wait....thats nascar and we have that...

101 years and counting's picture

this is a no brainer.  just declare spain and italy insolvent.  bail them out will add trillions in freshly created EUR and USD to the crack addicts on wall st.

throw in a UK or Japan, and the markets would flash dash to 15,000 in minutes!



uhb's picture

we could also give all the keynesians a pair of concrete shoes and dump them in the NY harbour...

Misean's picture

My favorite so far!

Temporalist's picture

They are trying to clean up those waters not make them cesspools.

Cleanclog's picture

Group think is often wrong - especially when it thinks positives will come quickly without building in the downside.   As I wrote March 15th Japan will continue to consume and import (particularly lumber, steel, copper, concrete, oil, and food for crops wiped out) - but much of that will be replacing things lost.  Not “growth”.  It won’t have substantial onward production value, it will be getting back to where it was.  

To afford this at a time their revenues will be reduced, debt is already staggeringly high, and the population is aging and stagnant - will mean they will reduce consumption of enjoyment in luxury goods and entertainment.  Hard times will mean hard choices. The Japanese have an ethic and culture that will enable them to sacrifice.  But the rest of the global economy will miss their consumptive contributions in other arenas.


And while attention, appropriately, is on the events unfolding in Japan . . .  a window opens for the Archduke Ferdinand moment elsewhere.  Mischief or worse in North Africa or the Arabian Peninsula is possible if Khaddafi  or Saudi rulers think the world is distracted.

A Man without Qualities's picture

We don't know what the fuck we are doing or whether it's making things better or worse, but we must inspire confidence in the worker classes, so we'll continue with our strategy and if it doesn't get better, we'll do more...

It reminds me of the doctors who would bleed patients (releasing humours) in order to "cure" illness.  Often, the patient would bleed to death as the doctors would continue the "treatment" if there was no sign of improvement...

Temporalist's picture

I made the same "humors" analogy recently here. 

I think they don't care if it's making things better or worse they make money and create power for themselves either way.

RobotTrader's picture

As long as gold and silver remain strong, it is probably suicidal to short stocks right now.

Misean's picture

The Aliens solution: Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

DonnieD's picture

Get our military to level Washington DC. Then we can rebuild it (bullish for CAT) and rearm the military (bullish for GD). Everyone can triple their investment in a week.

Shameful's picture

Simple, look who is signing the checks or passing the info to those who speak this dribble.  The Gov wisely owns the economics profession, and most don' have the stones to speak against their employer publicly.  After all if any of us spoke against our employer on national TV it would be a fast way to lose a job.

The theme is the State is all powerful and all knowing and the public should just accept it's words as is spoken by God.

It's funny when you snap someone out of the MSM training.  I'm fond of using the war is good for the economy.  If it was why not declare war on the ocean and drop men and material into the middle of the ocean till economic golden age?  Usually clears up the argument pretty quick.