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BN *`WE WISH WE HADN'T DONE' DIVIDENDS AS ECONOMY FADED: BOFA CEO
insert riotous laughter here
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<haha>HAHA</haha>
ha. As I said a few months back, this ain't fixed till the banks pay dividends.
BAC are now showing that even paying 0.01c / share dividend with a current div/yield of 0.32% is too much to give away.
And to think, they were paying 64c per quarter back in 2007!
The problem with dividends is that you have to have REAL cash to pay them. Real cash goes to (some) real people.
BN *`WE WISH WE HADN'T DONE' DIVIDENDS AS ECONOMY FADED: BOFA CEO
Notice there is no lamenting the banker bonuses that were paid to these fraudsters, ohhhhh hoooo noooooo!
I guess I would not mind them paying out $144B of bonuses if it were in the form of Toxic Securities that were Marked to Myth at the time of calculation. If their shit doesn't stink, then they shouldn't mind wallowing in it.
And that might be funny, but it would also be a rare demonstration (whether real or merely for appearances) of good faith on their part.
Nope!
Any "good faith" expressed by these crooks over the past 40 years has nearly always been extracted under (the threat of) some penalty or another, be it regulatory, legal or otherwise.
Thus it never even meets the true definition (at least in my book) of good faith, which by it's very nature must come willingly as an act of....well.....faith. Meaning without strings attached and with the intention of engendering good will, not a good profit.
Yes, I admit I'm a day dreamer. But I'm continuously outraged that the powers that be not only hijack my money and my state but also my language in order to hijack my money and my state.
Rant over. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.
Nudge to demonstrate contrived good faith merely a suggestion to the banksters, CD.
Rant fully supported here.
The bankers should have been paid in CDOs. Microsoft has a "dog fooding" policy, where they "eat their own dog food" by using their own products in development. Too bad bankers don't have policies in place to force them to eat their own toxic shit.
I've thought deeply about this and I've come up with a plausible explanation.
As is the tradition among those in power the bankers were simply employing food (poision) testers to make sure the cook or some other evil people didn't poison their dinner. Since they were about to sit down to a huge feast and thus they didn't have enough food testers on staff, they decided to expand their food testing world wide and allow everyone to sample the feast. If nothing else, those who refused to taste the food would immediately show their hand as the evil poisoners.
In fact, this test was a rousing success because it's obvious someone did poison their feast. And as proof I proffer the CDS, MBS, CDO quintupled implosion as evidence. Thus the bankers did the right thing and should be rewarded for their quick thinking. Considering all this, I approve of the bonuses they paid themselves in the past and I recommend they be increased in the future. We need smart foxes such as these running things while we recovery from our close call on our death bed.
Yeah, that's the ticket. Long live the Banking Kings.
As an Retired Softie, I can attest to the "dog fooding" policy.
Interestingly, there is one product the development team did not dogfood on a daily basis, Vista.
Funny how that worked out...
didn't credit suisse do this in 08? don't think it worked out too well :/
But if they don't pay the bonuses how else can they keep the TOP TALENT! The same TOP TALENT that got them all in the mess they're in!
It's funny how ALL the banks ALL have TOP TALENT. You don't hear the number 5 or number 6 bank saying that they need to pay massive bonuses to keep their 2nd or 3rd rate talent, no, they all apparently have and need to keep the best!
Also note the awkward phrasing "we wish we hadn't done dividends!!!!" you pay dividends you moron!!, you don't do them!!! what you can do is stick your finger up your arse once for every penny of taxpayer money you squandered.
Did everyone enjoy the sell-off this morning? Good. Because it's over.
It'll take some patch code to turn financials green today.
Little bump after the auction but I gotta feeling she's gonna turn south fast toward close.
Nah, CNBC will roll out Dr Evil around 3:00 to demand 100 Trillion dollars of QE2
One hundred BILLION dollars!
Bwaaa ha ha haaaa Dr Evil in our times $100 billion dollars only buys you a couple hours of stock market pumping!
Oh, er well then... one hundred TRILLION DOLLARS!!
??? $100T, hahahahahahaha,
that does not even pay for 1/1,000,000 of the leveraged derivative assets.
c'mon when are you going to get serious?
these meally mouthed attempts to make our sphincters pucker leave us flacid.
Yep, he's bullshitting us. The top brass are all holding tons of stock as part of their deferred comp, and the dividend is the only thing that helped that stock keep any of its value before they could lighten the load.
Captain of Titanic says "Wish we would have steered the other way!"
It's not the Titanic this time; it's the QE2.
BRILLIANT PUN!
+1000
Looks like we're gonna need more rope - I want to hang this bastard twice.
Acid treat the first 399 ropes so they break as they take up the dead weight.
Always worth a laugh when they get revived with a Hang'em High rope burn.
What a fucking moron
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake..."
http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-10.html
Armageddon!
Gosh you think they are thinking about clawing back those divvies? They sure would be useful now to pad the lifestyle.
Clawback the bonuses.
Clawback the divvies.
Clawback the insider sales.
Clawback the purchase of COUNTRYWIDE.
Clawback the political contributions.
Clawback the VIP loans.
They don't need to clawback the $144B in bonuses--they haven't been paid yet. And now they can't be justified.
Claw their eyes out, rip open their guts, claw their innards out, reach up their backsides, claw.......oh, that's not what you meant, is it? Nevermind.
right term though for birds of prey
One big mulligan for TBTF.
Must have made that statement after reading this:
"WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) -- Macroeconomic Advisers, an independent economics research firm, slashed its third-quarter GDP forecast to 1.2%, a downward revision of four-tenths of a percentage point. "Exports were weaker than expected, while imports were stronger than expected, implying lower net exports in the third quarter than previously estimated," the group said. The U.S. trade deficit widened 8% to $46.3 billion in August."
He should encourage everyone at BofA to buy a new iPad, iPhone and iPodTouch to stimulate the economy. You know, kinda like when Bush told everyone to buy a new SUV.
+ 100
See but now we've entered a new "era" of free money (even beyond old Greenie's days) -- why buy when you can just wait til they're paying you to go get a new i-whatever? $8000 tax credits, $6500 cash for clunkers is so yesterday...now free!
If they wouldn't have, the bonuses could have been bigger.
Thats ok they can replace their dividends with the bonuses ....
put a little money back in the pot smart guy! ya shmcuk!
Does that mean they just figured out they were out of money? Wonder if we will see a nasty announcement Friday...after the banks have closed to prevent a run on Bof A.
" A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place "
Gordon Gekko
No...Headline of the day is the one I'm looking at now on CNBC in the UK "Hard Times For Porn Industry"....now thats funny
funny..? Thats a disaster ! Now what am i gonna do !
You mean "Now whats the SEC gonna do?"
CNBC is totaly obsessed with porno, look at their shows after 7 PM, its all about hookers, porn, drugs, WTF theyre all total degenerates!
there's a difference between industries now? Oh wait, at least they're straight shooters
Where's Mandy with some of that heavy black eye liner? Perhaps we can get an Erin and Mandy barbie doll show going after 10:00 pm.
Wife: "Hard day at work dear?"
Pr0n Star: "Yes, thank God!"
'WE WISH WE HADN'T GIVEN OURSELVES SUCH EXORBITANT BONUSES.'
YOU HEARD THAT TOO?????!!!!!
Boy, them ain't green shoots, dats mold!
Time for another round of stock dilution.
Moynihan/Roger Lattimer... He had a good run in Revenge of the Nerds II... Not sure how they let him become the CEO of BofA. He was Ken's lap dog though.
Yeah, I was at the bank from 2002-2007 and you could tell Moynihan was getting groomed for the job. Why the hell the bank handed over the keys to a lawyer instead of a banker makes no sense to me.
Well, they are up to their ass-end and beyond in legal troubles so maybe it was foreshadowing? Also, the banker didn't do such a hot job.
Yeah well the lawyer Chuck Prince didn't do so hot either for Citi. You want your CEO to understand the business, not just the legal aspect (unless it's a law firm!). Moynihan came from the consumer banking division, what does he know about Enterprise Risk? (Apparently enough to convice K-Love.) Wonder if he even once went to the trading floor in their large Charlotte HQ.
Think again.
The only way out of this crap hole...is to clean out all of these mega banks. There is NO WAY America can rise with these same bastards steering high finance.
So start the break ups, start the perp walks, and get on with the freakin' markdowns.
Who did Dimon think he was kidding during the quarterly conference call? Seriously?
And shutter the FED!
ANTISEMITE!!!!11
Subtle.
A nice rapping of the banks would suit me just fine.
A burning would be more effective.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Hang the fucker!
Cap'n of the Titanic- 'DANG, sure wish we had steered a bit more south'!
Ah...the old ''tis better to ask forgiveness, than permission", trick.
Well....DUH..... Weren't they selling debt in order to facilitate dividends?????
The only thing dumber than dividends would have been stock buy backs...or acquiring a company..............
what about Bear, Merrill and Lehman stock buybacks in the tens (hundreds?) of billions of dollars in the summer of 2007?
pay yourself first! no matter what happens next
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream...
Does this tool know what dividends are?
I am feeling a bit sorry for these doorknobs.
Edit: Cocksuckers.
Edit Edit: These guys would have made good Nazis.
Hank Paulson * B-b-b-best wa-wa-way out is cu-cu-cu-cu-currency collapse.
Now if he said, I wish we had never heard of Country Wide..., that I might believe.
It's funny cause it's true!
We should have a 'quote of the day' everyday on ZH> this is fun!
Oh, and MsCreant?! That WAS what I was thinking, since a real life clawback is the stuff of fantasy...
They encourage div reinvestment so they don't lay out the cash
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