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Headline Roundup: Reactions to May Madness
BusinessWire: NYSE Unveils New Slogan: “The Market Can Stay Psychotic Longer Than You Can Stay Curled Up In A Fetal Position”
TheStreet.com:
Jim Cramer Gloats After “Buy Accenture at 1 Cent” Call Proves Prescient
Vogue:
Gold Is The New Black!
Le Figaro:
European Wheelbarrow Inventories Plummet as Euro Trades at Less Than Cost of Paper It’s Printed On
CNBC: Dow Soars 650 Points Off Intraday Low
Advertising Age:
Geico Changes Tagline to “So Easy, Even A High-Frequency Trading Program Can Do It”
Barrons:
D-Bag 36000 High-Frequency Trading Program Plans “Just Following Orders” Defense; Claims Reports of Panic Selling Unfounded – “My Algorithms Were Calm and Composed at All Times”
Cosmopolitan: Treasury Bills Officially Replace Diamonds as Girl’s Best Friend
Athens Daily Idler:
Greece Burns to the Ground as Protesters Ask, “What the Hell’s the Point of Having Cake If You Can’t Eat It?”
TMZ:
IMF Offers to Prop Up Kim Kardashian’s Ass
New York Times: Traders Jump from Windows; Market Rebounds Before They Hit Ground
Wall Street Journal:
Flat-Globe Futures Skyrocket After Jean-Claude Trichet Insists World is Round
- advertisements -
eom
Tommorrow's headline:
"Trader's fat thumb sends Dow soaring 1200 points"
D.U Fuss of GS, is being widely hailed as a hero for accidentally paying 100 million dollars for a board lot of 10,000 shares of Born Again Mortgage Ltd (BAM). By doing so he triggered machine trading that added 3 Trillion dollars of wealth to the markets. "If I had had known that this would get me a date with Sarah Palin, I would have done it deliberately, much earlier", he said.
While coaxing the PIGS from the trough,
The bankers developed a cough,
Which an I.T. snafu
Turned into swine flu,
And a feverish market sold off.
I particularly like the CNBC one, because that IS what they said.
As for the entire theory of a fat finger:
Since when do people type in the numbers as they are spelled? You type ones with zeros. Not M's and B's. Let's don't be silly.
Does your accounting software offer to let you spell the amounts out instead of typing it numerically? Or did they type it numerically and accidentally hit the 'round to the nearest comma' button (nopat actually deserves the credit for positing the concept of 'rounding to the nearest comma.')
Mafia Today:
Obama finds horse head in bed, invisible hand safe from audit!
http://fdlaction.firedoglake.com/2010/05/06/as-dow-like-a-rock-obama-to-come-out-against-audit-the-fed-today/
UPDATE - Double crossed! Members start tuning up and dusting off 77 Town Cars for potential needed trunk storage.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iCG7IM6cEnk1LgM5NoqFUCPojD4QD9FHJQVG1
would you like to play globothermonuclear war or chess?
MAY 1st :
"The weekly DOW chart shows an expanding wedge indicating a significant move is probable. This remains an overbought bear market rally and the uptrend could falter at any time"
http://www.zerohedge.com/forum/latest-market-outlook-0#comment-326767
TRADING TOOL:
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/05/trading-tools.html
Shouldnt those trading programs, developed by the brightest minds with unlimited budgets, have a pop up window that warns the 22 year old halo champ something to the effect of " Hey, you have just entered an order to sell a BILLION shares of PG ! This order could destabilize modern western civilization as we know it. Please check your index finger for fatness and verify armegeddon is in progress before proceeding"
Just sayin, hell I get annoying pop up "are you sure" windows all the time for much more mundane matters.
I just checked my close spaced netbook keyboard and will now try to fat finger the b and m or rather attempt to hit the b while any part of my finger is even on the very edge of the m.
nmnmnmnnmnnnmnnnnmnmnnnnnnnnmnnnm nmn nm nm n n mnm n mnn mnnmnmmmnjmnjmm,nmmnmmmk,mnmk,mmnmk,mmnmjnm,mkmmnm,mkmmmmmmkmmkm,k,m.
This is kinda like the crude OJ defense, but that b is a full key away and it would take an awful fat finger to hit that b and a awful fat brain to not see all those extra digits in the same box you enter orders in all day.
Full disclosure: I edited out 3 fat finger typos from this post, but I am no hypocrite. Every single fat finger typo was from an adjacent button on the key board.
Also for the ultimate test I call upon our very own incredible Hulk to repeat the experiment above.
where is eally ucked? tossing his mom's sald i suppose. usually his vag gets quite the itche from bend over.
Most sophisticated investors (use loosely) know the DOW should probably be about 3500 if the big PONZI was not soooo RIGGED.
Fun to watch the dreaded CNBC as the market lost 600 points in about 5 minutes. Maria B was...speechless. Almost like she knew the playbook was not being followed as expected.
Ben Dover, you are hands-down my favorite contributor here! +10000
Sorry about the double -post, I'm quite looped right now after celebrating today's action.
Ben Dover, you are hands-down my favorite contributor here! +10000
My "fat finger" theory is that one of these idiots caused today's panic selloff:
DOH! Someone caught my mistake! I shouldn't have eaten donuts while typing..
timmmys SATANIC...OH MY GOD
Beautiful Leo. But I think that I subscribe to the boobs on the keyboard theory myself.
Every time I see that slimeball Geithner's face, I cannot help but ask where is our Aaron Burr? Yo, Tim, don't you want your mug on a three dollar bill? Hamilton already took the Ten.
Thank you Leo. I needed this image. Coming to the Zazzle store!
Leo, I bought it orginally, and even took some comfort from it (although today was good to me, it broke every rule I had about the market). But I use to build trading software, and there's no way you can accidentally trade 1 billion shares instead of 1 million. This was a panic selloff.
+1 billion shares in P&G Al.
As usual, the motto for the ages is: "Cui Bono?"
Great stuff Bend Over
Well done Benny.
Not sure if your CBNC was supposed to be tongue in cheek becasue MCC actually used that line. With the markets down 400 points she actually said that they were "more than 600 points off their lows of the day." I sat there appalled. Never will I watch that chanell with the sound on again.
But you don't get the full comedic effect without the sound. And Maria B was shocked I tell you shocked that the regulators weren't all over this. I think she actually said "who's asleep at the wheel?"
lolz
x-q
just plain funny
Time Magazine Man of the Year: Sergey
Forbes 400: Make that 396, we lost a few quants today
Air and Space News: Comet Kahoutek Returns, Briefly
Karl Denninger: Anybody Got a Bigger, Bolder Font?
Ben- By any chance, is your wife's name Eileen?
haha! awesome! I'd prop up Kim's ass with my face!
Given that Dominique Strauss-Khan has quite a reputation for being a 'womanizer', I am sure this particular headline could prove quite prescient.
Great post! My top three:
3) NTY
2) CNBC
1) TMZ
Oh, heaven help us all, we are so lucky to have you, Ben. Thank your mother for me for giving birth to you. And your father too. Oh, and thank you for being you.
Washington Post:
Obama Authorizes Ad-Hoc "Do-Over" Trades
"Sometimes the market just isn't fair" the president said, "So today I'm...
Bounty Hunter:
O.J. Vows To Find Fat-Fingered Trader
+1!
Popular Mechanics:
iPad bug discovered; touch screen too sensitive. A Citi employee, who is an avid iPad user, claimed, "Typing on the iPad is a mitch!"
I sometimes had the same thing with my Iphone. It was dust collecting under the touchscreen.
The screen freezes, and like everybody doesn't mind waiting 1 second, you type on every key you see.
props
Well done your dudeness. Great stuff.
If memory serves me correctly, and it rarely does, you were Walter Sobchak in '09.