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Here Comes The Greek Brady Plan Together With 35% Bond Haircuts...And A Caption Contest
Just in case you were expecting a full recovery on those Greek bonds stashed away under the mattress (ahem ASSGEN) here comes Euro Intelligence to spoil your day (and maybe, just maybe, wreak some havoc with your CDS). In a nuthsell: we are about to see a Brady plan with 35% haircuts. If true, we may be seeing some pretty interesting unintended consequences in the near to very near-term future.
From Euro Intelligence:
We think this story from To Vima
in Greece is true. It contains a lot detail about discussions currently
under way for a future Greek debt restructuring. The paper says that
the EU, IMF and the ECB have reached basic agreement that a debt
restructuring for Greece is inevitable, with the following concrete
options being discussed. 1. A haircut of 35%. Technically, this will be
an exchange of existing bonds with bonds of 65% of their value. 2. A
bond swap to 30-year bonds with low interest rates. 3. A new loan
package of 25% of the previous volume. The paper recalls the Brady plan,
under which the US organised a similar debt swap for Latin American
debt, with the help of a Fed guarantee. The paper also quotes Greek
sources as confirming that they no longer expect the rebound of growth
to happen immediately.
More importantly, here is today's caption contest. The winner gets to cross their ZR bid which at last check was locked limit up.
Have at it.
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Angela Merkel looks like its been at least 3 weeks since she's had a satisfying dump.
You should see Leo.
Caption:
"No way I take a bullet for any of these three. After what I just heard in there, I'm buying some gold, bitches," thinks Paulo the security attaché member on the right.
And we still are not done paying for the Brady plan ... haha
Sarkozy: "That person just dropped a $20..... garcon?"
Merkel: "Hmmm.... The Arby's sign over there says All U Can Eat."
Sarkozy: Why is your right boob 35% lower than your left?
Merkel: I don't know but I like that number, run with it.
winner right here folks!! Fuck that's funny, seriously that is some comedy gold!
For the record could she look any worse and why is there 3 pockets on her blazer?
The 4th pocket was picked by The Bernanke. She's telling Sarkozy "I really don't mind because now my right tit can go commando"
Good one! The other three pockets showing look like inside out, I think she has not one penny left to tell the story.
So then Sarkozy says "if I hold my fist about this level I can prop up your tit like we prop up the PIIGS"
...and then Papandreou says "No my friend, for this task you need TWO hands, at about THIS level!"
Merkel... The European Hillary...
"Mr. Baroso looks like he's seen a ghost!"
Barroso: "Puta madre. Why the hell did I listen to that Berlusconi. And where the hell am I going to hide my gold."
---
Schumer on schumer hitting the fan and no Supreme Court:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG0Jpu9geWY
thank you for that link. even when i pulled for the democrats, i always disliked him. now i know he's not even very smart. what a jackass.
sarkozy: "hey angela, have you seen my bob dole impression?"
merkel to herself: "oh shit. not again."
Merkel: 'lord o' mercy, I could really use a shoulder rub right about now...'
Sarkozy: "This is how I hold the phallic toy when I'm preparing to shove it up all of Europes posterior."
Merkle: "Hehehehe....did I dooo thaaaat?"
Whose going to tell Jamie and Lloyd?
wrong again! Sarkozy is holding her colostomy bag!
I can't believe how hot she is.
Logjammers, Jackie...
"Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here."
"He fixes the cable?"
"Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey."
You could use more than 160 symbols, it's not a fucking Twitter, it's a Zerohedge.
lmao!
That really sounds an awful lot like the conclusion that I came to as well as the 3 solutions that I proposed. An awful lot...
From A Comparison of Our Greek Bond Restructuring Analysis to that of Argentina).
Reggie,
In your analysis the closest scenario of haircut is 38%, which assumes doubling of maturity with sustained coupon on the bonds, which 'is extend and pretend' for twice as longer, which in turn could mean there cold be another haircut down the road or a prolonged default.
This was just an illustration of the similarities I'm my proposed solutions and that of the one proposed in Tyler's post. The numbers above were for Portugal, not Greece.
Btw, even with the haircut in post, there could still be another haircut and/or default.
DAS SINKING BOOT
Lili Van Merkel singing:
Here I stand, the goddess of the euro
I set the isles on fire
I have this power
Morning, noon, and night, it's dwink and dancing
Some quick womancing
And then a shower.
Das Greeks constantly suwwound me
They always hound me, with one wequest.
Who can satisfy their lustful habits?
I'm not a wabbit.
I need some rest..
Lili. Lili, Lili, Lili, legs, Lili, Lili... I cannot finds the words to truly express my joy at the rekindling of our association.
If you can hide Merkel's underlying assets, she'd be a derivative bombshell.
Sacre Bleu!!!
ORI
http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/then-again-people-choose-yoga-over-gurdjieff/
ORI - you got a face lift! Congrats...;)
Thanks SE. :-)
ORI
"What do you mean the Greeks are broke?!"
"What the fuck are we gonna say now?"
I hope the major European banks have plenty of reserves.
Ah, who are we kidding, they all sold their bonds to the ECB. The only ones in private taking a haircut is pension funds.
+1
Joran van der Sloot gets a EMU photo bomb!
I see him!
Ha!
I think you should tell them
Ugh! Angela's sauerkraut farts smell as bad as the Greek bonds.
"Where do you think Mubarak is hiding now ?"
Camp David?
"Do you think anyone will believe us this time?"
Didn't Leo suggest to buy long-term Greek bonds?
"You know what they say about Greeks."
yeah johnny, put em in a bodybag!
Lose some weight Bitchez!
Why do you persist in asking her for a rim job?
I think I broke a rib reading that line.
All Crack-berry addicts know about RIMM jobs....
I guess i should have known merkel was just another pain slut. She is making a huge mistake. Dumbazz bitch. You were supposed to roll that shit up into 1000 year reichbonds.
greek guy " errm i left my wallet in my other coat , you'll have to pay angela "
other guy, " ill toss you for it "
ngelas driver " doh! "
"I promise I'll get it up tonite"
sarkozy to translator: "merde! how do you say douche in german?!?"
Sarkozy to Merkel: You know this is the line for Berlusconi's latest party, right?
Then we all agree - on a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Ha! Never realized ZH was referring to Fiats with that quote!
carla bruni makes a last minute adjustment to her dress which takes onlookers by surprise...
Oh stop acting coy and superior, Angie, and spread the gravy around and thick!
We're so far beyond anything resembling haircuts, bankruptcies or fails of any kind that we're going to question your whole spirit of pro-growth, pro-democracy, pro-ariba_ness and start wondering if you're not part of the great communist conspiracy and a child abuser.
These times call for the toughness to indulge on a grand scale! These times call for leadership in spending and pretending! This ain't no party, this ain't no disco.
I am sure this will delay the bank stress tests!
you mean they are going to stick it in 35% deeper?
Reuters quotes a board member of the Bank of Portugal as saying the Greek fiscal plan is not working. The conditions were imposed, unrealistic and cannot be sustained, according to Teodora Cardoso. The Markets are reacting to that, Cardoso said.
In other words the Pot goes nuclear on the Kettle... Someone not sticking to the script.
Or someone is trying to negotiate a better deal for his country.
Spot on!
dude looks like a lady.
There are times when self interest will trump a script...
"Does it look like we are praying? Yes, we are... for a miracle to save from the impending contagion"
And equities keep rallying.
Another time, ZH permabears. The collapse is not for today.
I want to hear from the real deal HarryWanger, not his brother Hamy who I suspect is my arch nemesis JW trolling you guys. Who is the real Hammy Wanger? Ilene...are you trolling?
lift and separate... The testicles before carrying out the haircut.
Nice one... Was that The Merk's advice or Rat-kozy...
Sarkozy again baffles his peers by continually playing with his "invisible magic wand" in public.
i zay ve vish in vun hand und poop in ze ozerr und ze vich vun feelz up queeker....
Sarkozy: "No. Jamie Dimon really said Option #2 is the best choice for Greece. You know, he's been under a whole lot of stress lately, with all the bad press".
Merkel: "Speaking of Number 2, is that a toilette over there? I'm feeling a bit gassy".
Hitler must be laughing his ass off now in hell.
Ain't that symbolic that copyright for Mein Kampf is about to expire and ban on its publication is about to be lifted, at the same time, popular anger at the bankers is nearing its historic highs, which is to be, as soon we will all see, funelled at some minority, probably not the Jews this time, but surely somebody: http://www.newser.com/story/34975/is-germany-ready-for-mein-kampf.html
They are always some unfortunate scapegoats to be slaughtered for the greater good, not that it would fix anything, but the mob would be satisfied for the time being, before itself being plundered en masse as heroic cannon fodder.
"They will never call me 'Nic the Greek' after this deal."
Around here we read the "Nic" that actually has something worthwhile to say
'Il est très important que l'on détient le blanc poker hot anal comme celui-ci avant de battage dans'
Caption:
Sarkozy to Merkel " If you offer to give Obama a BJ ..."
Not sure but I would bet that Obama would rather have the BJ from Sarkozy, with a side of tossed salad and some crack to finish.
That was last week, you wrinkly little frog; it's your turn this week."
Sarkozy to Merkel : "Angela, you just HAVE to get yourself one of the Greek islands when the creep behind us is forced to post them as collateral for his 'bonds' ."
"you know, this plan only needs to hold water until our terms end, then we'll be authors."
... and so, by the power vested in me by the NWO banking cartel, I now pronounce you man and wife
flag as winner (1)
Get's my vote too.
Barrosa is trying to play a cute game. He is trying to hide how bad things are in his beloved Portugal. If he convinces everyone that the Greeks and Irish are insolvent he will get a pacage for everyone and save Portugal's blushes.
Greeks may retaliate and threaten to implode the entire global financial architecture with an olive oil embargo. That indeed would be a brilliant ploy that would panic the developed world which is hooked on Med style cooking. Ask yourself: could your heart stand the shocking fact of $1,000 pasta dinners?
Damn. I never thought about stocking up on olives? Are calamatas greek? They are my favorite.
Calamatas are indeed Greek, but I'm partial to Spanish ones.
So am I - 3 in my martini
Merkel: Oh shit, Sark! Cutty Sark! Is that goddamn Rumsfeld behind me? I remember the last time he was around when people were talking about money just up and vanishing; it was September 10th, 2001...
The Least Interesting Man in the World: Stop calling me Cutty Sark. Whether or not that is Donald Rumsfeld is immaterial to me at the moment. This guy behind me keeps trying to sell me Body Scanners. He says we could erect them at all the bunga bunga parties. Besides, Rumsfeld was talking about $2.3T, you don't think he'd be worried about our little side game do you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kpWqdPMjmo
S'ils ne veulent pas accepter l'offre, vous mettez votre poing dans le rectum comme ça!
"Angela, I had no idea the damn Greeks would blow it all partying with Charlie Sheen. We should repo Crete and deport every one of them to Rekyavik."
"I was this close to throwing up. I swear to God."
"I think maybe we should have sided with the Nazi's"
Sarkosy: I know it's been awhile, but this is going to feel like what it's like to get fucked...
Pretty sure a 35% haircut triggers global swaps. Oh, well.
No worries, the counter party is backstopped by the US taxpayer.
I see Sarkozy is holding a fiat Euro note saying it's all he's got left (nothing). Merkel's mind goes blank but Barroso feels the reality sinking in.
Sarkozy prepares coin flip to decide who must break the news to Trichet...
it's like a moussaka without cheese topping. water instead of ouzo will be for springtime
so who gets the fuckin haircut?
Hamp like programs for countries now, when will all the lies and deception end? Doesn't anyone have the friggin balls to call a spade a spade or are we just going to live under this dark bridge with the trolls forever? How many ways can you kick that can bitch? WTF are my kids going to do in the future when nothing is real anymore? 2012 is starting to look more and more like a real event. Not saying the end of the world but perhaps a turning point for life as we know it.
Merkel: You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now Nicolas.
Sarkozy: That wasn't my thumb.
I don't give a shit about names.
Woman: I wonder if anyone else notices that my breasts would be under my armpits if not for this supportive brazier
Man immediately behind her: Yes, you have to cup them in, like this!
Man immediately to his right: Yes, you poke them up, like dis!
Man immediately to his right, but slightly behind: Must not look at camera, must not look at camera
Man behind them hanging head: I can't believe I hit her axe wound at the christmas party last year... I was just happy it was actually a she... I need to get checked out... I just hope no one else makes the mistake of putting their fingers in there... *sigh*
Old bald man to his right: I thought we were having pudding and matlock? I go make poopie.
Caption:
"Frau Merkel, can I borrow the keys to your Mercedes. I need to get out of here fast. My choice of Fiat was a mistake."
sarkozy to merkel: fuck jamie dimon
"Merde, the Suez Canal tolls just doubled!"
"Suck it up, Angie, or the Greeks go CAIRO on us and tear you a new Berlin Wall."
"Angela, even German hos get paid for just laying there, no?"
"Do you want to turn the Greek internet back on now, or shall I?"
I expect more haircuts until we're all bald.
French dude: "Can I wear the strap on this time?"
German dude: "!"
Background Dudes think: "Oh Fuck, He didn't just say that". "Where is the exit?"
"She has balls, like grapefruit"
"Yes, but a very small pecker"
But, But, EVERYONE needs to retire at 67!!!
Take that to the streets of Paris and sell it Angie!!
ROFLMAO
Thought ya had this one Tyler or the topic wouldn't have been Sinn Féin and their IMF platform.
Well let me tell you my kraut friend, I ain't no bandleader...
Sarkozy :
" whose job was it to move the fucking gold? George you fuck , wheres the fucking gold?"
"I'll get you Blankfein's phone number"
Greece and Ireland taking the long way to get to the same place where Iceland is now.
Ditto for the US and the rest of the EU
HMMMM...Greek Brady bonds, eh?
Good idea....after the global crash
those low long term yields will
seem like a good deal and the banks
will sell them to their retail clients.
Multiply by Portugal, Ireland, Spain
etc etc.
We're going to kick the can down the
road to stardate 3123. Captain Kirk
of the USS starship enterprise will end up holding those bonds.
Thanks for the super big laugh!
Yeah, the interest on 21st century bonds is what financed young Captain James Tiberius Kirk attending Starfleet Academy.
Ferengi School of Business case study!
Wouldn't surprise me. "Capt. shall I thrown some more Greek Bonds in the Fusion Reactor?" "Sure, Scotty, why not."
From the Emerald Isle...
"Some 75 would-be volunteers turned up this afternoon to a meeting organised by economist David McWilliams to help independents standing in the election.
McWilliams has proposed that those with organisation skills and economic expertise should offer their services to independent candidates to counter the advice that candidates from the major parties would be able to give.
The meeting was held in the Gateway Building in Capel Street which is owned by John McColgan the producer of Riverdance and was offered to Democracy Now, a group of high-profile would-be candidates who now admit that they have run out of time to stand in the election.
Seven independent candidates were among those looking for advice. They included Eamonn Blaney, the son of former Government minister Neil Blaney, who said he is to announce a new political platform New Era which has the support of several independent candidates."
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0131/breaking61.html
"I always keep 500 kilos of gold in the trunk of my limo"
"Do you think Hosni would lend us some of his gold?"
Ugh, Gibss is on the TV again. I can't wait for him to leave.
Maybe he could be the next studdering John for Howard Stern.
The group sit in a large dark room around a round table.
"What we gonna do now?" Says Berlusconi.
"I called Bernanke and Timmah." Said Trichet.
"What did they say?" Asked Sarkozy. "They didn't pick up." "Did you leave a message?" "The answering machine was full."
There was as slight pause. Angela sighed a deep sigh.
"Well", said Van Rumpuy, "I guess it is time for WWIII." The oilgarchs nodded and sneered slippery smiles. They stood up and walked uniformly into the banquet hall, where the press had gathered.
Cue "Magic Carpet Ride".
Out walk the financiers and politicians/slow mow. They sit down at a rectangular table to meet the press. "We have it all under control." Remarks Trichet as he takes off his glasses.....
Somewhere, still in Davos, Bernanke sipped his Malibu and rum quietly.
Brother, can you spare 50 billion euros...
OK - I accept that the Greeks had / have a large fiscal debt - but I could never understand how bank bonds are not first in line even if it is a smaller problem then in Iberia and Ireland.
There is a different agenda in Europe - it is to neuter the sovergins ability to raise cash - the primacy that the ECB holds for banks in their dealings with this crisis is a vessel used to make the European states a anachronism.
If Greek goverment paper takes a hit before the bank paper it will prove my point.
That would explain Rompuy's Cheshire Cat grin.
And all the euro-centric love noises emanating from the aforementioned Eurointelligence...
merkel "If this french bastard does another Jerry Lewis impression, I wll kill the EURO"
Ha! Great.
For those who don't know, Jerry Lewis is REALLY big in French culture ... accepted as a great *serious* Genius of Film. Seriously.
lol
Sarkozy to Merkel, "I prefer to use the entire fist."
G pap, "I am ambidextrous!"
Sarkozy: ...and when this crashes the markets, buy the fucking dip!
Should we BTFD now?
Angela fantasized about pulling the car over. The kids in the back seat were starting to seriously get on her nerves.
Berlasconi, tell me about those Italian widows and orphans who held those Argentine bonds? Were they at all surly?
"I'm sure that I am the father...."
"How did you know that I was pregnant?"
"Because we've all been screwing you for months, but I'm sure that I am the father...."
"We stick the knife in slowly... Then, twist."
No No said the Red Queen, (who looked suspiciously like the Bernank) First we twist the knife, then we stick it in slowly.
G-Pap wants to know if you can get him an invitation to Silvio Berlusconi's party tonight.
Sarkozy: But, but, the joo bankers said this couldn't happen...
Merkel: Effing joos!
Could you kick the can for me this time,I think my groin is pulled?
Greek Guy: These hands have been some places. I don't recommend it.
Sark: First you poke the food down the goose's throat...
Merkel: (Thinking) This mess calls for deft German diplomacy. We should invade Poland.
He's saying not only is his government broke but his banks will be too if you haircut the bonds. Who do you think he sold them to.
When I was a little girl we put people like him in the gas chamber.
Douche, douche, douche.
from the looks on their faces, it would appear that someone in that clique just busted some ass.
sauerkraut, bratwurst, and a tall Pilsner will do that to you, you know.