Here Is The Reason For JPM's Negligible Litigation Reserve: You

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Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:29 | 1455682 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

You, bitchez

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:34 | 1455703 Vergeltung
Vergeltung's picture

lol

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:47 | 1455745 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I woke up this morning and had this gnawing sensation that I was on the hook for some piece of shit bank.  Now I know its JPM.  Fuck JP Morgan.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:57 | 1455772 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

This is why it behooves JPM to go all the way to foreclosure on deficient mortgages.  No loan workouts, no short sale, no principal reductions.  Getting paid 100 cents on the dollar for all that crap mortgage paper requires foreclosure.  FDIC guarantees it.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:21 | 1455870 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Exactly, which is why all of this talk about principle write-offs is only bumping of gums.  Who audits this shit?  Are accounting firms the next enablers, like MBIA, the rating agencies, and AIG, too important to the ponzi to fail?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:31 | 1455903 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

DELOITTE TOUCHE,  I thought it would be someone really stinky like Price or Ernst.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:11 | 1456086 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

oh no, no, not at all.....Toilette Douche is far stinkier

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:59 | 1456024 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

What neither of you realize is that the banks can make substantial principal write downs, keep people in their homes (thereby reducing the ratio of vacant homes to qualifiend buyers, ergo a reduction of supply) and actually come out ahead better finanacially than if they continue down the foreclosure path.  If you did you homework you would find this to be true.  Their big big argument is moral hazard, but I have a hard time with that one...how about the moral hazard of writing millions of shitty loans?  How about the moral hazard of selling distressed notes at 30 to 40 cents on the dollar when the people in the homes could afford a mortgage at a 60 to 70 cent on the dollar principal reduction.  Why the taxpayer is getting soaked for the difference as the banks are settling claims agains them for 5 to 10 cents on the dollar. 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:30 | 1455687 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

-Silver Derivative Book Losses: 12.Bn$

-European Debt Exposure 15.Bn$

-CDS market completly ineffective cos Re-profiling...

 

SELL JPM

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:50 | 1455758 malikai
malikai's picture


-Silver Derivative Book Losses: 12.Bn$

-European Debt Exposure 15.Bn$

-CDS market completly ineffective cos Re-profiling...

Translation: JPM up 35% on FED liquidity injection.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:56 | 1455771 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

SELL JPM?!

 

WHO THE HELL BOUGHT JPM?!

 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:01 | 1455789 SilverDosed
SilverDosed's picture

Pfft, this isnt Italy, you dont actually have to own it to sell it per JPM's rules.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:08 | 1455807 Cash_is_Trash
Cash_is_Trash's picture

The same JPM that raped the Fed's Discount Window?

The bank with the massive short positions in silver?

The ones who are snapping-up the metals warehouses around Detroit?

Naaaahhhh

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:37 | 1456213 Hard1
Hard1's picture

WTF man!! JPM is not BAC, BAC is not Greece, Greece is not Argentina

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:34 | 1455705 MiningJunkie
MiningJunkie's picture

Jamie has us all "gamed" masterfully...

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:49 | 1455754 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

About as "masterfully", as any two bit corner crook.  Know any of those?  I do.  They could all eat Jamie for lunch.  He's a stuffed suit dooface.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:23 | 1455878 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

What? I don't know what you're looking at.

Legs Dimon and his firm literally have the Keys to the Castle. They are running this show.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:35 | 1455707 TorchFire
TorchFire's picture

Same could be said for the whole Fed Reserve system, but it was previously a reality guarded by fear of discovery.  Now they simply state it in writing since we clearly are a nation of pussies.

 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:41 | 1455727 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Put me in for Pussy Default Obligations (PDO's).  I'm sure that in my case the premium will be very high! 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:36 | 1455712 yabyum
yabyum's picture

JPM, If silver breaks fifty, your ass is ours!

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:49 | 1455751 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

Ag pullin' another nice green fatty today.  I think we're moving toward DefCon 2 on the Panic meter.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:40 | 1455716 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

He might just be crazy enough to DO it!

?The Health Care Hustle?‏ - YouTube

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:43 | 1455733 Bob
Bob's picture

No way, Jose. 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:57 | 1455775 augie
augie's picture

+1 lol

DO WHAT HE SAAAYYY DO WHAT HE SSSAAAY!!!

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:38 | 1455718 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Die JPM......

Fucking Rockefeller goons...

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:41 | 1455724 Paul Thomason
Paul Thomason's picture

You have got to fucking kidding me.  

I have been involved in preparation and filing for listed companies - you can't just say 'we don't like the look of this stuff so we won't tell you about it'.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

These guys are pond scum and should be in jail.

 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:09 | 1455811 Founders Keeper
Founders Keeper's picture

[...you can't just say 'we don't like the look of this stuff so we won't tell you about it'.]---Paul Thomason

Agreed.

You'd have to be a fool to believe any of the numbers publicly released from the banks.

 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:40 | 1455725 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

why it is that Chase Bank branches are not set ablaze across the nation on a daily basis will forever remain a mystery to me.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:41 | 1455728 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Ive got a Wells Fargo 'Operation Gunrunner, Fast n Furious' branch right down the street....Im thinkin about it.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:45 | 1455737 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

People think that their money is actually in there.  If they only knew the truth.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:48 | 1455748 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Drive by.  That's the way to do it.

 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:41 | 1455729 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture
LOL, Whoooo-hooo, we're rich!  Rich I say! 07-14 09:35: JPMorgan (JPM) CEO says banking industry to have "huge excess capital" in 12 months
Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:43 | 1455732 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Blowhorn cheerleaders giddy with excitement and praise of JPM their puppet masters.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:48 | 1455749 svc101
svc101's picture

SOP: privatize profit, socialize risk.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:10 | 1455818 Cash_is_Trash
Cash_is_Trash's picture

As noted by Chomsky long ago.

I saw a video of him in the 80's talking about private gain and public loss.

Fruition bitchezz

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:48 | 1455750 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

All is well as markets flush green basking in QE expectations, never even a hint of red, baking it in however many times over. Insanity.

Meanwhile silver is just pennies away from $40. 

I wouldnt be at all surprised to hear Bernank downplay QE today to put a whoopin on PM's.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:54 | 1455767 SilverDosed
SilverDosed's picture

+1 on the possible QE3 downplay today. The past two days have obviously been a test balloon, can easily be reversed with the right empty comments today.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:55 | 1455769 r101958
r101958's picture

....or maybe a huge silver deposit found in Zimbabwe or somewhere?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:28 | 1456161 viahj
viahj's picture

you certainly called that one Dog!

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:48 | 1455753 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Sheila now realizes that she got screwed more than just once by Jamie.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:52 | 1455763 props2009
Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:53 | 1455766 r101958
r101958's picture

'JPMorgan’s Quarterly Profit Rises 13%, to $5.4 Billion'. I guess we all know where a fairly large portion of that profit came from? Just couldn't be from taking silver down from 48 to 34.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:54 | 1455768 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Heard a radio ad this morning on WFAN. JPM Chase is offering cash back "rewards" for their mortgagees if they open up a Checking Account with Chase. Up to $500 annually! You can use the money for whatever; go to a ballgame, buy some golf clubs or even take golf lessions, says the announcer, as a window is heard smashed in the background.  Chutpah, itz.... 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:02 | 1455792 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

If ANYBODY (hint, hint Tyler) here at ZH wants to watch The Bernankster quiver his lip today at 10:00 am, here's the C-Span link:

http://www.c-span.org/Live-Video/C-SPAN3/

 

I HOPE (wink, hint, wink hint hint) that Tyler puts up a post for this because we sure did have fun yesterday....

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:07 | 1455802 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

Just Print More!!!!

Jiggering PM's???

Jamie Pukes Money?

Jiant political maneuvering

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:18 | 1455850 Catullus
Catullus's picture

The listed it under intangible goodwill: Majority Ownership Stake in US Justice Department.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:12 | 1456091 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

+blind bitchezzzzzz!!!

 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:30 | 1455902 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

if there existed a 'hit list' he would be close to the top of it. do you think he knows this or not? just wondering......

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:03 | 1456046 sbenard
sbenard's picture

We're screwed! And JPM is screwing us!

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