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Hewlett-Packard Predicts "Another Tough Quarter" In Internal Memo, Warns Of Layoffs, Profit Margins

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Wondering what is causing the quicksand under HP stock after hours? Nothing more and nothing less than what we have been predicting, namely that on its public call had such a bullish outlook on the economy, has been warning internally of that another "tough quarter" is coming.

From Bloomberg:

Hewlett-Packard Co. (HPQ) Chief Executive Officer Leo Apotheker told top executives that he’s bracing for “another tough quarter” in the period that ends in July and urged deputies to “watch every penny and minimize all hiring.”

The company’s existing headcount plans are “unaffordable given the pressures on our business,” Apotheker wrote in the May 4 memo to deputies including Todd Bradley, executive vice president of the personal systems business, and Chief Financial Officer Cathie Lesjak. The memo was obtained by Bloomberg.

Apotheker’s e-mail follows the release in February of a forecast for the second quarter, which ended in April, that missed analysts’ sales and profit estimates. Hewlett-Packard blamed the shortfall on sluggish demand for services and consumer products. The memo indicates that the company continues to come under pressure and suggests job cuts are in the offing.

Q3 is going to be another tough quarter, one in which we will be driving hard for revenue and profit,” Apotheker wrote. “We have absolutely no room for profitless revenue or any discretionary expenditures.”

And now the deluge of real, and very much deferred profit warnings, is about to hit Wall Street like a redirected Mississippi river.

 

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Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:12 | 1280701 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

I bought a new printer from these guys last week.

That should help their bottom line next quarter...lol

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:30 | 1280756 66Sexy
66Sexy's picture

Did it break down yet?

HP is clearly part of the 'consumer cyclism' scam, where shit breaks down after 6 months.

HP products are garbage, they should have been BK a long time ago..

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:34 | 1280783 cxl9
cxl9's picture

Reluctantly I am forced to agree. The LaserJet 4 was their last good printer, a rock-solid workhorse. I still have three of them. It was straight downhill after that. Now all their printers are just the usual Chinese plastic junk. HP software is badly-written, useless bloatware, in its effects virtually indistinguishable from a computer virus. Of course, they're supposedly a "services company" now like everyone else. We'll see how well that works out.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:43 | 1280938 Saxxon
Saxxon's picture

cxl9, I have heard and read similar observations 1000's of times in the past decade.

I am now discovering that in some areas (umbrellas, just for a wild example) it is virtually impossible to find quality no matter how long you look and how much you are willing to spend.

I am wearing a pair of wool slacks bought at Nordstroms; the fucking zipper busted on the second time out.  That used to only happen with the cheapest shit available.

Interesting times.

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 00:50 | 1281998 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

American Business Model 101:

Borrow money to make some shit as long as some entity with money thinks the shit can sell at WalMart/Target/Macy's/Home Depot/Best Buy/Amazon, and as long as you did patent/IP protection right and with gusto.

Get in contact with Chinese Factory where no safety laws, environmental regulations, child labor rules, or any other restrictions of any kind exist (the more unique, technologically advanced and profitable your product, the more the Chinese will welcome you, so they can steal all your shit, including your intellectual property/design/model).

Produce the shit as cheaply and quickly as possible.

Sell the shit as quickly as you can, while margins are fat, end demand is there, and before Win Bo Chow makes 100,000 copies of all your internal documents/designs/plans (Win Bo Chow is your factory manager and also works for the Chinese Government).

Bank profit.

GTFO of China while you can, and before you are killed on a Chinese highway of death after touring your slave camp factory.

Retire in Antigua. Drink many cocktails and tell stories of how you helped make America what it is to the drunk woman next to you.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:39 | 1280792 wang
wang's picture

if it was free I wouldn't take one - and these days when you buy a new PC there is usually an offer to get an HP printer for an extra 20 bucks. HP products (printers and computers) suck and they rip you for the ink/toner.  

 

One special aspect of HP is their outsourcing divsion, not just for their own crappy service but for other companies. Yes these scum sucking leaches are directly responsible for the loss of tens of thousands of back office jobs in America and tens of thousands of low paying jobs in the third world.

e.g.

http://h20195.www2.hp.com/v2/GetPDF.aspx/4AA3-1291ENW.pdf

http://www8.hp.com/us/en/services/services-detail.html?compURI=tcm:245-8...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:07 | 1280988 nufio
nufio's picture

im tired of the outsourcing stuff.. people study all kinds of useless degrees in college. People in the US had the opportunity to study useful (and tough) subjects but most of them want to just party in college. When they do that they just become replacable and are replaced. This generation had the opportunity to get educated in useful fields and move ahead but the fundamental problem is that people are lazy and entitled. Its really time to stop blaming the corporations for not providing jobs. People are just not skilled in anything useful. All the students in the engineering division are of asian origin. Why is no one talking about this? Its not that americans are born stupid.. they are just spoilt.. and this behavior should not be rewarded imo.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:18 | 1281017 Hansel
Hansel's picture

"and this behavior should not be rewarded imo."

Have the banks taught you nothing?  People not skilled in anything useful get bailed-the-fuck out!  They make more money than god.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:45 | 1281078 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

+1

However idealizing the young from other cultures is greatly exaggerated. Heard this story my whole life. More smoke than fire. 

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 03:15 | 1282171 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Hey asswipe...since you are so bright, I am sure you can figure out cause and effect.  Let's see if you can follow.  Cause: Major US Corps rail about not enough US engineering grads, pays off Congress to establish H1,L1,F1 programs to start bringing huge numbers our of foreign born engineers here.  Effect: Pay rates for US based engineers drops and never seen unemployment in engineering fields emerges. Effect:  US Corps see this as easy way to lower costs and displace US based engineers.    Effect:  'Stupid' American engineering students see the writing on the wall and head for other degrees.  Effect: 'All the students in the engineering division are of asian origin.'...you can probably add here that corps see huge growth in profits from historical trend lines.

There are lots of other dynamics at play....Foreign Student Competency exams,  US based schooling approaches. College Diversity initiatives, US Colleges now more fixated on revenue than educating Americans, more and more.

 

Just understand one thing...the free trade globalist targeted these careers to feed the US Corp bottom line.  Don't belive me. Go read the chapter in Greenspans book on outsourcing.  He weeps for teachers, saying we are obligated to do anything to raise their salaries.  And then immediately turns around and claims the 'system' needs to targets scientists and engineers that are an inconvenience to the company bottom line.

 

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 12:36 | 1283410 nufio
nufio's picture

i agree with the foreign born engineers having an effect on salary here. I just dont buy that people leave engineering for liberal arts just becuase there is more pay in liberal arts. there isnt! I think most people take majors that dont involve math because they didnt learn enough math in school. Dropout rates for CS in most universities is VERY high.

i dont see any reason why we should expect 100% employment in engineering. a% of population in any field is probably unemployable. Unemployment/underemployment in engineering is not 20% like in liberal arts/social work/psychology. The argument that people chose those majors because there are more career prospects is just bullshit.

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 12:36 | 1283417 nufio
nufio's picture

i dont think americans are stupid.. but i think a significant chunk of this generation is lazy and entitled. been to any college campus lately?

Wed, 05/18/2011 - 03:10 | 1286265 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Let's add a few...

the corps are too lazy too offer good products that more people will pay for and so use H1-Bs to improve their bottom line at the expense of Americans.

The parents are too lazy to pay attention to what their kids are doing or direct them into something that will benefit their future.

The teachers unions are too lazy complaining about thier perceived injustice to own up to the fact that the system they maintain is broken and the kids are not prepared.

The older generations are too lazy to admit they have wrecked the economy and burdened the 'lazy' kids they whine about with a huge debt.

 

Wed, 05/18/2011 - 17:27 | 1288938 nufio
nufio's picture

i dont see why corporations are expected to pay more for the same work.

Eventually all the tech work is going to move outside the us where teh cost is going to be much lesser than here.

IMO the h1 and l1 programs just bought US more time till the inevitable. The problem with being at the top of the pyramid is that US has to keep innovating to stay one step ahead. It cannot expect other countries not to catch up and stay underdeveloped forever and not compete. But the US society is becoming more lazy while the societies in most developing nations just cannot afford to be lazy to survive.

I do not think that if the H1 and L1 programs were to be discontinued there would be enough citizen engineers to even fill all those posts.

 

 

Sat, 05/21/2011 - 03:13 | 1297776 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Corps operate at the discretion of the people and not the other way around.  Corp need to be responsible 'citizens' just like everyone else.  The laws governing them should reflect that they operate for the benefit of the people and not for sucking money/resources/IP without some benefit.  Of couse, the globalists will say all is fair but that is becuase it is a rigged game for them.  

And your argument about not enough US engineers to fill needed positions is completely riduculous.  Let salaries rise back to where they should be and people will flock back to the profession instead of fleeing it like they have been.  But if someone has an agenda, they will always find an baseless argument to support their claim...like lazy americans won't work these jobs...hmmm...where have I heard that before?

Mon, 05/23/2011 - 22:39 | 1303992 nufio
nufio's picture

i can accept corporations having to serve a nation if the corporation doesnt operate outside its boundaries. For multinational corporations it doesnt make much sense.

"let salaries rise back to where they should be". What do you think the salary should be?

At what salary do you think people will start choosing engineering over liberal arts or  communication majors? There already is a wage premium for engineering and its certainly vast. Yet 1/15th of the US college graduates choose all streams of engineering and computer science combined.I do think a significant chunk of the current college going genration is the US has  ridiculous sense of entitlement.

For software services, A company operating with US labour just cannot compete with one operating with labour in India. After a decade or so the same work will probably be done in africa. The only solution to maintain a higher wage structure in the US is to tax IT imports which would be reciprocated by tax on exports in IT or other sectors by other countries. Wage equalization across the globe imo is inevitable, unless the whole world goes back to isolationism.

I can see the logic in people in developed nations arguing for isolationism to maintain wage disparity, but I think this is just temporary as the higher standard of living is purely a result of the disparity in exchange rates. Once currency exchange rates dont have any meaning the standard of living in a country will primarily be dependent on the natural resources of that country.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:00 | 1280975 nufio
nufio's picture

did u also get the 1$ usb cable that sells for $20 and is not included in the box?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:37 | 1280784 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

and i thought after receiving several email and print special offers from HP meant that they are doing great 

:)

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:47 | 1280951 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

they are waiting to charge you $1000/oz for ink refills

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 22:35 | 1281657 Sam Clemons
Sam Clemons's picture

I'm sure HP is suffering because Bernanke and Geithner have cornered the ink and paper markets.

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 00:23 | 1281929 Nonsense
Nonsense's picture

No.  I have an agenda against Bernanke and Geithner, I have family members employed with HP and I will personally vouch that the lowered earnings (with a cooked book) is indeed the fault of HP.  They are aspiring to make printers achieve the redeeming quality of Microsoft Vista.  If you've ever encoutered the "Blue screen of death" and HP's C310 printer; you will understand full well the comparison that I'm making.

It's quite frightening to spend money on ink just to see if the printer is going to work.  One set of ink can cost as much as it costs to fill up your tank nowadays.

I had to return TWO C310s.  I bought them both because my arm was twisted by a family member to do so.  I tossed a good printer out to use this and they both failed.  Now I'm out of a printer, ink, I came very close to disowning a family member and I'm incredibly bitter about the entire episode.

Bernanke, Geithner and Wall Street don't have enough brains to incorporate enough SUCK into technology. 

I'm sure people in technologically advanced countries such as Japan are laughing at us when we're the ones who invented this.  Like everything else (the automobile, electricity, the internet, modern medicine and microsoft) we invent it then we produce the lowest quality.  Why should printers be any different?  America thrives on deminishing talent.  That's what we do best! 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:12 | 1280703 speconomist
speconomist's picture

What does the 2s7s tag mean?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:30 | 1280759 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Curve steepness...nothing to do with the story, unless I'm missing something...probably tagged inadvertently.

Wed, 05/25/2011 - 04:32 | 1308177 speconomist
speconomist's picture

Thanks for the answer

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:19 | 1280891 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Craps or Poker? Either way, HPQ getting hammered after hours -- down 4.9%. Even a RoboTraitor recommend can't save em today.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:18 | 1280720 Mongo
Mongo's picture

QE2 was a bitch... time for QE3

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:20 | 1280726 Bazooka
Bazooka's picture

2011 will be remembered as the "Tragic Year". The year when all economists and ponzi politicians were sure that recovery was at hand but only higher unemployment, massive ponzi collapse and equities flash crash race to the bottom. Central bankers will weep for the gold and silver they bought at the top will be 99% less in worth.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:26 | 1280750 Franken_Stein
Franken_Stein's picture

 

You crack me up. You really, really do.

At 99% less, silver would be at $0.33 / oz.

 

Hell, I'm gonna need a truck to transport all that silver home that I'd buy at that price.

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:50 | 1280817 wirtschaftswunder
wirtschaftswunder's picture

At that price you won't have a truck....or a home.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:32 | 1280772 cossack55
cossack55's picture

But a 100x more valuable than the fiat shit. Hahaha

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:57 | 1280839 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

you would'nt be Cheeky Bastard would you?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:29 | 1280916 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

What you're trying to say is that everything goes down the drain? And now we're coming to the last sentence "Central bankers will weep for the gold and silver they bought at the top will be 99% less in worth." thats ok, we will measure value of our transactions in chicken peas or other stuff you propose. 99% of the price they paid for gold&silver disappears that means USD is real money again and for what reason?   

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:53 | 1281114 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

You're right about the first, not the second. 

This indeed is the year where a general consensus grows that there is no recovery, the promises made were not kept and we indeed are in deep doodoo as we thought 2 years ago. The Great Delusion is wearing out its welcome. 

However PMs and especially gold are the go to safe haven, the 'gold standard' by which all others will be measured. Look up some stats and you'll see that record bullion purchases are being made. Gold holdings are popping up all over. Nothing else seems safe or even truthy

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:56 | 1281121 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

You're right about the first, not the second. 

This indeed is the year where a general consensus grows that there is no recovery, the promises made were not kept and we indeed are in deep doodoo as we thought 2 years ago. The Great Delusion is wearing out its welcome. 

However PMs and especially gold are the go to safe haven, the 'gold standard' by which all others will be measured. Look up some stats and you'll see that record bullion purchases are being made. Gold holdings are popping up all over. Nothing else seems safe or even truthy

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:38 | 1280732 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

nobody cares about hewlett packard. It's all about WWJD(what will jobs do).

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:30 | 1280911 CPL
CPL's picture

Exactly...apple gear is in every server room, mounted in racks and runs practically anything and everything.  <snicker>  Can't blame the tough quarter though.  IT is officially dead as a stone...

on a side note, I didn't think anyone actually worked at HP except sales staff that run on commission and contractors.  I know because I had supply arrangements for bodies once upon a time.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 20:02 | 1281142 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

But whutta dbout da cloud computin?

Bahawahaha

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 20:29 | 1281205 CPL
CPL's picture

LOL!  Amazon and Apple (sigh...even Microsoft) Cloud services.  I believe we all call it webmail and photobucket.  I swear "cloud" is one of the worst ideas/marketing concepts since "managed services with five year reoccuring revenue". 

If you have a "want" to run a service, run it yourself.  Load balancing is cheap as shit, hardware (better than years ago at 1/3000th the cost...started on VAX/VMS/Kings ransom shit) that with a leased line from two or three providers and you are on a good a steady course to making money.  Last i looked a person can buy an entire ISP for around 30k on ebay...probably a bit less on a direct contact.  If you're running a popular site (hint..hint Tylers).  You adjust your priorities to have your user base cover the cost of running the place and make your meat and potatoes on the site.  ISP's usually have some pretty sweet data deals.

The true cost to "cloud" is when it's down, it's all down, then it's twenty thousand fucked companies instead of down for an hour brb.

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 17:51 | 1284870 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Cloud is going to seriously fucker IBM Microsoft, Amazon, HP and everyone else who throws resources into the sewage system.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:30 | 1280758 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Today LOW craps on itself.

Now HP.

And my prediction: WMT takes a big shit turd on itself tomorrow, dumb and dumber style.

Negative comps biatches!

Welcome to your new America.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:34 | 1280770 FunkyMonkeyBoy
FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

The Bernanke will print some more green-shoots.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:31 | 1280771 3.7.77
3.7.77's picture

Reality is catching up with the spin cycle.........

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:36 | 1280774 cossack55
cossack55's picture

The Maytag man is going to have some company soon.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:32 | 1280773 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Surprised this was leaked two days before the Q2 release.  Would love to be a fly on the wall at the next executive meeting.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:40 | 1280797 DonutBoy
DonutBoy's picture

Yeah  - that's ugly. Apotheker has an enemy in the camp.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:58 | 1280836 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'd say more than one.  There were several division heads vying for the top spot when Hurd was shown the door, all of whom were stepped over by an external (from a software company no less). 

This kind of distraction in the management ranks will not do favors for the stock price...look for a head to roll soon.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:34 | 1280782 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

QE3 where art thou?

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:48 | 1280802 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

HP jumped the shark ten years ago. They made good calculators, printers, and desktops but their laptops overheated and caught fire and they refused to man up. Now they are in the dustbin of history with a crap reputation and an obsolete line.

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 09:24 | 1282568 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Yeah, no one mentioned their lap tops. Dear God they were horrible. We bought two thinking the first was a lemon. Later I learned that the things were preloaded with spyware and what can only be called viruses. HP has been screwing customers for 10 years. I'm amazed they are even around anymore.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 17:57 | 1280830 MrFriskles
MrFriskles's picture

Shit company let them burn. Nothing we need a little less of. Their land fill contribution is much appreciated, but now we can throw them into it right next to their 6 month printers and their 35 page printing cart's. What a destructive paradigm for our earth and what an amazing business opportunity, or was it...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:01 | 1280841 Robslob
Robslob's picture

Too many acquisitions...too little time...death spiral as HP fails to succesfully pull an "IBM".

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:00 | 1280845 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

I would have thought these are the Halcyon days in the Printing Business.

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:03 | 1280850 seek
seek's picture

Much as I believe many companies will have issues this year due to the economy, I don't think HP's problems are a result of this. Intel (and the PC market in general) continues to do well due to growth in emerging markets (which are doing fine, ironically due to the USD being weak making technology more affordable.)

HP is misaligned in their markets and is losing share to other technology suppliers.

For many, many other companies dependent on the US market, this won't be the case.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:03 | 1280857 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

another great investment by John Paulson

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:09 | 1280873 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

25m shares. BEAUTIFUL.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:04 | 1280858 chet
chet's picture

"The company’s existing headcount plans are unaffordable given the pressures on our business”

Sounds like Corporate America speaking to the American workforce.  HP just needs to move all but the top five executive jobs to China.  Works like a charm.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:30 | 1280912 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

HP sucks donkey dick, my fucking laptop and its Realtek HD audio and mic input that don't work for jack shit make me wanna fucking puke.

Google that shit, really burns my ass $1500 pc and no fucking mic.

 

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:15 | 1281016 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Buy a $550 Toshiba and move on.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:16 | 1280884 Sutton
Sutton's picture

I got a HP laptop with  2 years ago, and a desktop 9 months ago.

Very disappointed.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:41 | 1280928 CPL
CPL's picture

I don't blame you.  They have recalls on nearly everything they've shoved out the door for the last six years.  DV of line laptops being the most infamous, batteries and power supplies are a total fire hazard.  Cheap pieces of shit.

Acer and Dell however...all I buy now because I can install Mac OS/Linux/Win7 blind folded-drugged-naked because they are well built (Dell actually has a decent warranty), Acers are nice as cheap fuck around toys and built tonka tough (good for kids)...Apple, over priced midranged Dells really.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:06 | 1280991 Rynak
Rynak's picture

The problem with dell is, that their laptops, even the business line - always tends to have small but annoying issues. Usually not disastrous ones, but still annoying. Until about a year ago, the line of reasoning for buying a dell was that you get something almost as nice as a thinkpad, but at half the price. However, lenovo have now joined into the pricewar, and do offer thinkpads without rollcage, at dell prices.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 20:38 | 1281220 CPL
CPL's picture

I'm of the opinion that the SSD's sold now make a roll cage superfluious, it might be the techie/engineer in me, but the shell around the hard drive is pretty much scrub.  Never have a friend, family member or aquaintance complain that they have all their data intact.  The stuff around the box is just a wrapper.  Like a car...

 

If the car gets totalled, if the driver walks out alive, all good.

 

Sad thing is it doesn't matter for laptops.  People treat them like a 6 year old treats a nintendo DS...<slam>...<bam>...shit I lost everything.  Well that's not true, a DS can take punishment.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:17 | 1280886 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

agree with above, i have one of their shitty printers with their bad software, shitty interface, very slow, don't even like scanning it is such a pain in the ass

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:19 | 1280890 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Would a war on cheap ink terrorists fix this?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:41 | 1280934 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

They used to make the world's best test equipment. Don't know if that is still the case.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:42 | 1280936 velobabe
velobabe's picture

HP SUCKS. all they have is ink. the latest upgrade for the HP printer won't let you see the ink levels, when it warns you, you are low on ink. what a scam! don't do software upgrades, it is all calculated, all they have is the ink scam. i am so sick of these scum fucks. i mean inflation in ink has never been covered on zerohedge. i mean think of it, they have these ink cartridges in these huge plastic containers, that need to be unlocked. it is like high crime of ink cartridges. like albums or CD, are under protection. people steal ink cartridges, whod ta think this is happening in america. get the ink stealers†

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:16 | 1281009 Rynak
Rynak's picture

To be fair, most big printer manufacturers now suck. Though HP and Lexmark definatelly are leaders in bullshit.

Want a good printer? Get one from someone else than the major manufacturers.... and before you buy, check the website's driver section, to see if they offer "minidrivers" (my kyocera laser for example has a driver that is just 400kb... just a barebone printer driver and nothing else)

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 10:07 | 1282735 RKDS
RKDS's picture

I like my Xerox so far (you can't find them at any stores - all HP and Brother), but years of HP and Lexmark doing nothing but make printing more expensive have conditioned me to pritn so rarely that I can't judge the long-term quality of it :(

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:22 | 1281019 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

My Dell printer/scanner/fax cost $50. Toner is the scam.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 18:55 | 1280963 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

HP - They call it High Performance

I call it High priced. Too much fucking hyoe around these companies. Time to beat them down a bit.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:13 | 1281012 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

If they lay off 50% of the employees, that's bullish, isn't it?

How many people can it possibly take to import cheap Chinese printers and laptops, anyway?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:33 | 1281058 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Agreed. As many as possible to justify their position in Palo Alto and Houston. Watch and see as this unravels,

CSCO

HPQ

IBM

ORCL

I wonder if Americans will just start tweeting and posting on FB as a career and be happy?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:20 | 1281020 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I thought HP and Evergreen were toasting (Cisco) with respect to core earnings? Servers/ what gives?

 

  It's all that revenue VOODOO! coming home to roost.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:53 | 1281041 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

 

Clearly, HP is not smoking the hookah.

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:31 | 1281053 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

First CSCO and Now HP. I wonder if IBM will follow?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:53 | 1281115 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I think so, but aside from big iron they sell to HFTs, IBM is a services company these days. 

They should do a bit better than HP--far less consumer dependence.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:35 | 1281062 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Now for something complety different

 

HSBC to Hire 2,000 Staff to Tap Asian Wealth - To loot more

 

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-05-16/hsbc-to-hire-2-000-staff-in-chi...

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:37 | 1281069 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

lots of stories of their consumer end, but you should see the hell they put you through in their server 'support' networks

 

fucking rings of hell - endless lying idiots...  they can cut 80% of the workers and you wouldn't notice

 

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:42 | 1281077 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Agreed. I had to deal with HPC a while back and some POD stuff and it was just a nightmare. Fuck, how amny folks do i have to talk to get the support I needed. F em, lay the fuckers off.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 22:28 | 1281633 sellstop
sellstop's picture

Let them eat Cake!!
Fire those minumum wage fu##ers!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:43 | 1281080 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Hey  UH Dark Pool. Did you notice in the feeds today, that Mc Don-nalds is going to serve 2/3 rd's of their customers in Europe and Asia through debit cards/ no cashier? I guess Tyler called those 1/2 time hires pretty well EH?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 18:28 | 1293669 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

do you get a discount if you clean the toilets before you leave???

 

So what's the end game? Government hands out worthless money to be paid to business that aren't allowed to fail anyway just to make everyone go into debt and be slaves for what??  If there are no jobs then what are they slaves for?? must be a plan to exterminate 70% of the population at somepoint - watch the free shots

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 19:49 | 1281091 treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

You must understand, theres been alot of shitty weather.  Plus, there are like, 2 - no, 1 less days I think this quarter, plus, the Japan thing really threw us a curveball, and while yeah sure, the next quarter might be down, our year end is still on track to exceed your wildest dreams....seriously, would we bullshit you?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 20:50 | 1281246 Rick64
Rick64's picture

Lol

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 20:50 | 1281254 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

You asshat you forgot to mention the fucking tornados!!!!

Tornado bitches!!

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 21:06 | 1281309 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

this sounds serious...

time to sell Sun?

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 21:26 | 1281392 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 The Junior club Slewie.

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 21:36 | 1281429 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

HPQ employees are not sleeping tonight. I guess the hype and the crap is finally showing the incompetancies and crap.

 

Mon, 05/16/2011 - 21:36 | 1281440 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

 

63 percent of college presidents think students should pay for education

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110516/ts_yblog_thelookout/co...

Tue, 05/17/2011 - 09:56 | 1282673 RKDS
RKDS's picture

Fuck HP and their lousy disposable Chinese printers.

Tue, 05/24/2011 - 04:06 | 1304350 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

A harbinger for every piece of medical equipment of the future.

Tue, 05/24/2011 - 04:08 | 1304351 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

A harbinger for every piece of medical equipment of the future.

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